Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 1

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!


Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 1

Resentment can kill or deteriorate any marriage, home, family, congregation, or relationship if it is not properly dealt with. It is like leaven. It spoils… Resentment means you feel over and over the pain or distaste associated with an act or deed that has been made against you.

Don’t let others continue to disrespect you or undermine who you are becoming in the Lord. Especially when they have showed you over and over who they are. I say “becoming” because we never arrive; there is always room for improvement as long as the Lord has us on this side of Heaven. Pray for discernment. We actually do arrive; when we reach Heaven!

Counseling entails objective listening. Be a good listener whenever people are talking or speaking. No matter how young or old they may be. When they say something that you know is not true it will give you a clearer picture of who they are and how they feel about themselves as well as what influences them. There is a difference between gossip and having a desire to resolve conflict and set people free. Or if you simply want to control them. Some have an addiction to control. If they cannot control You they will manipulate and try to control the people around you.

PRAY FOR DISCERNMENT!
If you want increased discernment you must truly seek the will of the Lord. Discernment does not allow You to see what you want to see. It causes you to seek the Truth of what is really going on. You readily release what is not so because it clouds your ability to discern. Discernment goes beyond the surface of how things appear. Remember The Holy Spirit; His Comforter wants to lead us to all Truth!

Know the difference between the works of the flesh and the FRUIT of the SPIRIT!

Avoiding conflict or not confronting how you feel and just stowing it away causes resentment to grow and fester. It is healthier to validate your feelings. Then put them in the proper perspective. You can not change anything that has happened. But you can get release from what has been. Resentment hurts you more than it hurts the person you are resenting! “Iron sharpens iron”

Many mistake acceptance for Love. They will do whatever; to be accepted. But are not at peace when they are alone. This also deepens their depression. Some are so use to abuse that they cannot recognize genuine concern or proper correction that comes from love. Oh how we need to allow GOD HIS rightful place in all areas of life. God has a much better way. Live before an “AUDIENCE of ONE!”

To help others become free from resentment share and feed them the “WORD of GOD” not gossip. Encourage and model the principles of God’s Word yourself! This is how you break the cycle of dysfunction. “GOD IS LOVE” HIS WORD is necessary SPIRITUAL FOOD for our souls. GOD is the SPIRIT of TRUTH! HIS WORD IS what quickens (makes alive) the soul! Always remember; “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE” ~

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines resentment as such: “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.” You can feel resentment towards a spouse, parent, child, relative, friend, neighbor, boss, coworker, person of the clergy, abuser or even a stranger. Life is precious. It is far better to readily discuss the matter at hand candidly and respectfully.

Many wait too long and allow the clarity of the facts to diminish. Often the truth is totally distorted and misconstrued. When questioned they will usually go in the direction that is desired. Just know if you do not address the associated issue, resentment will keep you fixated upon a momentary encounter for years. It will rob you from moving forward. A lot of the time the person has no clue that they are “stuck” in an abyss of not liking what was said, done or transferred upon their soul. Know you always have an option to speak Up!

GOD IS OMNIPOTENT!

You really can become whole! You can genuinely smile and mean it. You really can; Let the “JOY of the LORD be your strength” Some people do not have healthy boundaries. They will say and do just about anything. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Discipline yourself to speak when you are in control of your responses. Know when to speak and when to say nothing. God will impart HIS inner PEACE to you as you begin to exercise more self control. Truly having the Lord within our lives really does make a difference. THANK GOD FOR our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS & HIS HOLY SPIRIT!

Always seek to build your character in the eyes of GOD. It is HIS opinion of you that matters most. As you grow in the Lord; Fear no one and walk in meekness. You do not want to compromise your Peace with the Lord! GOD’S PEACE surpasses the understanding of man. So know that many will misunderstand you. Learn to take refuge and rest in the Lord. HIS HOLY SPIRIT is the COMFORTER! Above the LORD is no other. KNOW without doubt that GOD IS OMNIPRESENT!

Do not let resentment become the theme of your life, marriage or relationship! Life is too precious to spend most of it in regrets. Letting go of resentment does not mean that you forget what has happened. Many are quick to say “forgive & forget.” Forgiving does not mean that you should forget. Some things you do not want to forget you want to remember in order to prevent them from happening again. Neither do you have be afraid or paranoid.

Become alert! This can serve to Help you to know when to; “guard your heart!” Don’t let recycled junk become your current habitat. Readily recognize when someone is trying to take you down a path that you don’t have to go down. You do however want to work through any hurt or pain. You do not have to be a life long victim. Release any associated hurt or pain; this way it therefore no longer holds you captive. Today many seek to relive over and over their issues and often seek out others to further enable them. What bands them together is there shared experience. You will hear them over and over talk about their past and then say; you need to forget about what happened? Go figure. They don’t realize that they are actually sending a binary messages. (Yet, they are telling you to forget the past and are constantly bring up their past?) So no don’t forget. You really should want to file it away in a healthy manner so that it no longer becomes a trigger for anger or fear; nor does it have to continue to negatively impact your life.

No! You do not have to seek revenge. Give them and the situation to God. I was taught by a wise Mentor and Mother. God can do a lot more with people than you can. There are many diverse doctrinal beliefs. Some hinder the flow of the SPIRIT… Don’t reinforce dysfunction. GOD is NOT the “Author of Confusion.” Some do not really seek understanding. They rather stay “Stuck.” It is good to spend time alone with the Lord as well as with someone you can “Touch and agree!” Learning how to “BE STILL & KNOW” is precious. You learn how to better respond rather than react.

Self Control is part of the Fruit of God’s Spirit. You really can have genuine inner Peace. I will not compromise my Peace with the Lord in order to be accepted. You do NOT have to force your way. Don’t get pulled into messiness. Pray for increased Discernment. Have Faith in God!

God really can heal you. But you must want to really want to be healed. Believe! It will take some effort on you part… Healing is welcomed because you really do want to become whole!

See part 2

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  • Brooke Fraser

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