SEXUAL Problems for Christians Part 1

Part 1

The Bible Says A Lot About Sex

SEXual Problems For The Christian

In one of the Christian Counseling quarterly publications I receive, every single article discussed sexual problems. This really confirmed that the problems of this nature are definitely prevalent within the Christian Community. Many shy away from discussing issues that are of a sexual nature. It is quite evident that a plethora of the problems we are experiencing in this world today are rooted in improper sexual misconduct.

 

The Bible has a lot to say about sexual relationships. One of the main problems is that sex is more often than not practiced outside of the sanctity of marriage. God has said it is only within the marriage bed that sex is “undefiled.” Many have indulged in adultery, fornication and homosexuality and defiled the marriage bed.

 

Sex Outside of Marriage is Dangerous!

It is of no secret that time after time we see many men and women who fall prey to the pitfalls of sexual misconduct. Not fully realizing that sex outside of marriage is like “fire outside of the fireplace.” It’s dangerous! It will burn your house down!

 

You are setting yourself up for disappointment. You see sex outside the confines of marriage simply means; I am not fully committed to you. I need to be with you to see if we are physically compatible. I’ve been hurt before so I don’t really want to get too serious. Or my spouse and I don’t have a satisfying relationship so I’m really glad you are there for me. Or “I need you baby” if you love me you will do this for me?

 

This is only a few but there are so many more scenarios as well… Of course you have not uttered this in words. In the above cases your actions speak louder than words. Many simply do not really know what marriage is all about!

 

You want to take some time and think and ponder upon your marriage vows! There is always room for improvement. Hang them on your wall if you need to be reminded of what you promised to do! There are priceless precious spiritual benefits for keeping your marital vows. 

 

If you married someone who does not keep their vows.  They  have a problem…

 

God Can Cleanse You from all Unrighteousness

I have received many questions in regards to sexual problems. Many are trapped because they have nowhere to turn. Many women just don’t want to be alone so they offer themselves sexually, yet are physically unsatisfied. Many have been conditioned ignorantly to use sex as a tool to manipulate. Women who are used for sexual purposes are often thought of as mere objects. Many have been sexually abused causing them to feel low self worth. Often causing them to turn to drugs and  promiscuity or unwise counsel. This  further leads to a perilous journey of confusion, depression, anxiety and more issues…

 

This is not about putting anyone down. It is about sharing what GOD has to say about sex and relationships.  To motivate you to move towards GOD rather than away from HIM… Don’t settle when He has so much more instore for you.

 

 

Please know if you were sexually abused or if you are being abused now it is in NO way your fault! You can turn this around. Realize that you have been taken advantage of. This was an unrighteous act against you. Meaning; it was or is not right! Forgive yourself and don’t let this hold you captive any longer. God wants to release the pain your are carrying. God’s compassion  goes far beyond any life experience. Cry out to the Lord and say; “STOP it in the Name of JESUS!” Please hear me; GOD LOVES you and has so much more in store for you. Don’t let this be the theme of your life. Don’t let it rob you of a better future. There is cleansing POWER in the WORD of GOD! He can “cleanse you from ALL unrighteousness.”

 

 

Many have been taught that sex is no big deal! Everybody has sex and it does not matter if you are married or not. Especially if you are past a certain age or you have already been married. Or if you are not having sex something is wrong with you. You are not normal. But that is not the Christian perspective! You are giving parts of yourself away! This is why you feel less than… Your body is what protects your soul! You see God gives specific directions. The Bible says “for this cause shall a man leave His Father and Mother and cleave to His wife and they shall become one flesh.”

 

Let go and let GOD!

Sex outside the confines of marriage is dangerous emotionally. Why? It sets you up for possible problems that may not be apparent until much later?  You are compromising your values… You usually feel someone is looking down on you. This is regardless of how young or old you may be… You are also outside of the will of GOD!  Your decisions are between you and GOD. It is He that you want to consult if you are a believer.  It is wise to become more aware of HIS WORD. God always wants what is best for us.  He created us yet He allows us the freedom to choose. But it is important to know that will be consequences for your choices good or bad.  It is never to late to start making better choices. 

 

 

There is a deeper meaning to sex than the physical exchange. A bonding takes place. There is a magnetic chemical exchange. Within the confines of marriage a miraculous spiritual transaction is taking place! Your hearts can begin to become knitted together as one.  You grow in God’s grace and you want what is best for one anther as you commit to His Will. Did you know that scripture tells us “whatever you join yourself to becomes a part of you?”

 

Deep down you must know and feel that something is wrong, but you just can’t put your finger on it.  Sex outside of marriage  shows a lack of discipline.  In this 21st century just about anything goes. But not so in the eyes of God.   This keeps you from experiencing “the Kingdom of God is at hand.”

 

Some people just don’t practice good moral boundaries. They will sleep with anybody! Married or not married! Others have been erroneously taught that it really does not matter. Well; Its my body anyway! ” It’s just sex!” But is it really especially if you have confessed Jesus Christ? If it feels right we are not hurting anybody? From a Biblical standpoint just know you are outside the will of God! Anytime you choose to operate outside of God’s boundaries you can expect some trouble.

 

GOD SAYS; REPENT!

 

Take some time for an inner spiritual cleanse! Spend some time in the WORD of GOD! Ask the LORD to speak to your heart! It is time to really “Let go & let GOD”

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 2

Part 2

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 2

Part 2

Is A Great Marriage Still Viable?

The answer is YES!!!

Today some have opted out of the marriage. Their spouse has not been faithful and or has not or will not repent. Divorce is also sought because both or one spouse was not honest when they married. It is not their intention to work together for a mutually satisfying marriage. Sad put true some marry to get what they can get and leave. Quite often they want what they want when they want it. Their first priority is what they want rather than what is best for the marriage. This can leave the injured spouse in a state of flux. He or she will often overcompensate by continually giving into to their endless wants even to the point of financial despair. This should not be!

 

What about the children?

Parental disharmony also causes additional conflict within the children. They pick up the vibe between their parents. The children wants become excessive to compensate for their void. Some children will begin to lie and sometime emotionally withdraw. Unconsciously they feel that their well being is a secondary priority. Children usually prefer that their parents stay together. They too begin to act out. The parent who is most concerned must or should then take responsibility and address the needs of the children. Since you are hurting, this is not easy but necessary. It important to instill within your children healthy boundaries.

 

 

All too often one or both parents will often over indulge the child or children. They begin to compete for the child’s attention. Rather than discipline they will allow the child to become an extension of them. The child then becomes their support. Children vary in their ability to mature. Some are more resilient than others. Children should not be encouraged to become companions for their parents. Nor should they be ignored. They should always be nurtured in a healthy way that further establishes the parent child relationship. 

 

 

You have a responsibility to your children. 

 

 

As they get older the children will begin to better understand. Their parents were not able to resolve their conflict which resulted in divorce. Right now in this 21st century we have a generation of children that are confused about “Marriage God’s Way” more so than ever before! Although it did not work for you the first, second or even third time; it is important to let them know that God has ordained marriage as the proper relationship for sex. Let them know there is  still hope for them for a successful marriage.

 

 

Our current and future generations of teenagers have fewer and fewer positive moral traditional role models. Too many fractured marriages and families. This also can cause some of them to question their own sexuality.  They wonder if marriage is still even viable? They are all to often seduced to seek alternative ways to satisfy their sometimes overwhelming desire to appease raging hormones… They are often pulled into experimenting with same sex relationships with their peers. Keep the lines of communication open with your children.  There are some who wait in the wings to support alternative lifestyles…  This can cause them to become confused sexually or possibly even have a tendency towards bi sexual or promiscuity? This does not have to be! 

 

 

As a believer you have a responsibility to explain to them what God says about marriage.  If you don’t the world is waiting to teach them otherwise. 

 

 

Freely share with them what God says about sex in a non threatening way. Keeping in mind you are not trying to incite rebellion. You want them to learn self-control. You want them to realize that there are consequences for our actions. God allows us the freedom to choose. Love is patient so if you are over anxious take some time and chill out. Exercise patience when you are talking to your children.  You more than anyone should be willing to model good behavior to them. 

 

 

You  can help prevent them from getting out of control. You can  lessen the frequency of this occurring by teaching them the importance of respecting their own bodies.   Yes, there is always an exception to the rule. Raising children  properly takes a lot of patience, time and sacrifice. If you  have  not done this get busy now. Letting them know that they are valuable and they have the right to say “NO” to anyone. But most important that they can honor God in their body and its never too late to start!

 

Yes! A favorable future marriage is still viable…

There is much spiritual warfare that attempts to draw our teens away from God’s natural design for sex. This is a vulnerable stage of life for them. Peer pressure is already a constant factor in their lives… How their bodies are beginning to develop is a concern as well. Many of them will not say how they really feel. They will tell you what they think you want to hear. They often will seek unwise advice. Therefore they can be easily led down an ambivalent primrose path that further adds to this already complicated period of growth and development! Instead abstinence and discipline should be encouraged!

 

Let them know that God is Omnipresent!

Think about this for a moment. Did you know that if no one practiced sex outside of marriage there would be no one to cheat with? Fewer broken homes! Fewer STD’S! Fewer Abortions! Fewer marriages ending in divorces where people are unable to reconcile their differences. In this day and age it is hard to  hard to imagine! God has given us His Word to protect us! He has even told us that there is “no temptation common to man that He has not prepared a way of escape.”

 

A committed married monogamous relationship is the only way that God honors a sexual relationship! He has provided and ordained marriage. You see God has designed marriage as the only proper way a man and woman can fulfill their natural sexual desires. He is not the designer of any other method. If you have been taught or thought otherwise you are being  fooled. I don’t care what Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, Friend, Doctor, Minister, Pastor. Bishop, Apostle or Foe has said there are consequences! You see it is time out for living in the dark. Especially if you have confessed to be a Christian! It is time to stand up and speak out for what God has said is right.

 

 

We must speak the TRUTH in LOVE! Many are so confused about what LOVE really means. They often misunderstand you when you try to LOVE them for real! Loving someone is NOT making them feel comfortable in sin. Nor is it forcing yourself into their personal space.  Pray for discernment.  Part of LOVE is correction with patience. Sometimes we have to simply “step back.” But always PRAY! This is why we ALL so need the LORD! “GOD IS LOVE!” God is always available to help us properly express HIS LOVE!

 

 

Sharing the WORD of GOD IS LOVING PEOPLE! So don’t water it down. Even if they don’t like it.  God is quite clear about proper and improper sex! Try reading Roman 1 for starters. Let them take up any objections with the Lord. At some point if they are really seeking TRUTH they will at some point understand.  They will eventually see it is because you LOVE them you want them to know what God says. 

 

 

True ministry is speaking forth and living out loud the Word of God. 

 

 

Let’s really  HELP this next generation; these teenagers of this 21st century “where anything goes.” Start by giving them better moral role models! Let’s open up the lines of communication so they can validate their feelings.  They can learn to shift through their feelings and make better choices.   Make yourself available to your children. Give them a phone and tell them “to call you anytime they NEED you” HELP them so they do not feel that they have to give parts of themselves away in order to be accepted. If necessary also tell them to REPENT!  Let them know that they have the right to say NO to anyone who tries to take advantage of them. Give them more safe  “hugs” & quick kisses on their foreheads. (some of them feel too big for kisses) 

 

Give them respect and teach them how to be respectable and to demand respect as well. Remember they watch what we say and do.  Make a commitment to be loyal and faithful in your own marriage. Give them better examples and less criticism and more compassion and understanding.  Don’t encourage them to be sensual.  Lovingly  tell them when and if they are wrong. But be willing to admit when you are wrong as well. Less bickering and fighting and more constructive ways to resolve conflict such as powerful, loving biblical instructions.  Just think if it is hard for adults, it is even harder for teenagers… Lead them by example. 

SEXUAL Problems For The Christians Part 3

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 3

 
Part 3

Pray for Discernment

When I went to seminary I was somewhat disappointed to a small degree, but not surprised that the same problems existed. We live in a spiritual war zone. So always seek the “Will & Way of the Lord.” I have learned that sexual misconduct is practiced on many levels. It did not matter that my views were misconstrued as prudish because I know better!  This is not at all about exposing anyone; nor would I. It is about stating the facts to circumvent others from going down this path or at least help them consider making better choices.

 

It is important to keep in mind that spiritual warfare persists everywhere. Always remember; “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18.   It is always good to have someone who you are on one accord.  Praise  & Thank God! Always keep in mind that God is omnipresent so therefore everywhere you are He is also there.  Like it or not. If you are “Called” to ministry your first commitment should always be to please the Lord. To freely share the Word of God and encourage  any and everyone to abide by His Word regardless of their title, or  whoever they are. Christianity is a daily lifestyle. God holds each of us  accountable for what we know.

 

 

In Seminary there was an interesting counseling therapy class on “Gethsemane Patterning.” I was asked to sign a waiver in this class because there was some hands on activity that could possibly be a tad interesting.  I prayed about it. Since I could see under the right conditions it could be in some cases helpful in ministry when used appropriately. I grasped all the marvelous insight as well as impertinent methodology. It is also important to know your rights.  I decided to opt out of certain aspects of the class. Therefore there was no need for me to sign a waiver. We are called to be observant. Thank God for Discernment. That particular class ended up with a huge lawsuit against the administrator. I learned early  it is important to never throw caution to the wind.

 

Many hours of intense personal study, quiet meditation and practical application yielded a deeper invaluable reverence for our Lord.  We must always consult the Lord to lead us.  It also freed me to be more spiritually conscious.  God does not want us to be “Cookie Cutter Christians.” There is no need to compete in ministry. The Lord will help us do whatever He has called us to do.  His confirmation exceeds anyone else’s,. This is not about ego for I have learned to be confident in the Lord. God  does want us to be “in the world but not of the world” John 8.  I am most thankful for the experience as well as an invaluable wealth of spiritual insight gained. There remain many many more  precious memories I have than not so good..

 

The Lord always wants to lead us on the Path of Righteousness.

 

To know GOD”S WORD is good. But it takes His Holy Spirit to open your understanding so you know how to apply and or receive it.  It was good that the Pharisees knew the Word.  The problem was that they were not able to recognize and discern Christ Jesus.  Strive to study like the Bereans.  They diligently studied to know and grow in the grace of our Lord & Savior through His Word. 

 

There are many different denominational and nondenominational beliefs. Therefore, it is always good to be cautious, prayerful and seek direction from the Lord. Especially when you lay hands on someone who does not really know you. Or when you know you are amidst others who have a wrong perception of your intent. I understand why the Word says: “Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.”  I Timothy 5.  No need to fear. Truly the Lord will protect you. He also sharpens your discernment. Spiritual things easily get misunderstood when in  the midst of carnal thinkers.  For; “Man looks on the outside. But GOD looks at the heart.” This is why we always need to consult with the Lord and be led by HIS Holy Spirit! There are times when you may just have to stay put and pray from right where you are. You can always pray and sometimes not necessarily out loud. The Lord knows if we are sincere and HE is always absolutely Omniscient…

 

God Is Truly Amazing!

There is a tendency to sometime overlook sexual problems within the Church. This is not good since this conflicts with; “…But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in Spirit and Truth, for the Father seeks such to worship Him” (John 4:23).” Here Jesus is talking to the woman at the well. This in itself was unusual for Him to be alone in her presence. Notice; He first talked to her about her life and all of her husbands. Then He graciously shifts the subject to telling her about “true worship!” Jesus was always totally aware and connected to the LORD.  He was never not GOD! He simply told her something that no one was aware of to get her attention.  She left His presence preaching delivered  and: “Come see a man…”

 

 

We cannot confine our infinite Lord to just a geographical area, people or building. HE IS OMNIPRESENT I have not found anywhere in the WORD where any of  His disciples  themselves had sexual misconduct problems.  Know how to keep your Temple, for it is where GOD resides.  Think about it. Most importantly this sends the wrong message. There is a difference between the “Fruit of the Spirit and the “works of the flesh” See Galatians 5

 

Know and discern when a “seducing spirit” is in operation.  Seek the Lord’s direction and pray  whenever you are in an emotionally charged environment. God does not manifest His presence  to bring confusion…  Know that God wants to impart peace and bring deliverance.  You can even bring peace to a dog if necessary when led by the Lord.  His Holy Spirit is the Ultimate Comforter!

 

We are not to sanction any sin in anyone.  This only helps to keep them in bondage. Sin  is what separates us from GOD. We are to exercise and encourage others to embrace self-control as well. He has given us HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER to HELP us. GOD CALLS us and asks us to travel upon “The Straight & Narrow Road!” This is the road that is less traveled by many.  The reason why there are so many carnal problems with God’s Church is because to many allowances and excuses are made quite often for those who are connected to what they perceive to be their hierarchy.  They will often have a cult like mentality.  They also tend to be very territorial. Absolutely NO one is higher than GOD! His Word says; ” Of a TRUTH, I perceive, God is not a respecter of persons.” James 2

 

 

We are ALL SAVED by the GRACE of GOD! It is not by any works…

 

 

It is so very important to know the WORD of GOD for yourself. Many teach the traditions of their particular denominations over the Word of God! We in ourselves have no power. But we can access HIS POWER as we stay connected to HIM as the SOURCE of ULTIMATE POWER.  Our bodies are His Temple.  He resides within us.  God knows when we are committed to Him. God can use whoever is willing to submit to His Will & His Way.

 

In some cases just as long as you pay your dues or tithes you can be excused from just about anything. You are given their unconditional love and support?  Know  God’s true Love is priceless… The focus upon giving money is the greatest priority for many.   The desire to take care of  and maintain the building and its auxiliaries  are usually a main priority. Not that this is bad but keep in mind that God is aware of those needs as well.  Many are manipulated to give money for various needs. There are even tithing messages given before  the offering.  They  often will give a binary message.  They will tell you how much you should give and then knowingly attempt to put a guilt trip on you to give  the 10% you know you owe?   Is that because you are not giving to them?  Giving is good.   But know God does not need our money. He does not need anything from anyone.  Malachi is mainly talking to the priests who were quite  corrupt.  This is the main scripture that is usually  used. However it is taken out of context by many. It was written to correct many poor  religious and social behaviors. Most always attribute Malachi to “robbing God!” Malachi 3 There are many ways to rob God.

 

GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL GIVER! 

Allow the Lord to direct you when, to whom and how much to give. If you study you will find that tithes and offerings were not necessarily monetary. They were staples and food  that were stored in the storehouse so there were provisions for  the  priest to have food to eat.  The priest were not land owners. They usually solely worked for the Lord with very few possessions. Malachi 3 also states; “And they shall be mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not.”

 

GOD KNOWS WHEN WE TRULY SERVE HIM! 

 

Yes, The Lord wants us to give. “God loves a cheerful giver!” II Corinthians 9. The Corinthians were a very carnal Church. Here  in Corinthians you will see that the LORD gives a lot of instructions to His Church because of the mindset of the people. They got carried away in many areas. The main focus of worship should always be upon giving GLORY to the LORD. God wants to be a part of every area of our lives. He has promised “To supply ALL our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus!” Philippians 4. God will also supply the needs of HIS CHURCH which is HIS people. He will supply the needs in every aspect of our lives.  ALL with the LORD means ALL.

 

Tithing was never meant to be a “Cover Charge” to worship & praise GOD!

 

“For the Love of money is the root of ALL evil” Where you find evil when you peel it all back you will always find this is to be true! It is not the money but the fact that some will do just about anything to get it.  Know that God is aware of this as well. God does not begrudge us to have things. But it is how we relate to them that matters most. We all so daily need His Holy Spirit to continually grow in His grace.  Everything belongs to the Lord. God will not only supply our needs but He will also  give us some of our wants that are in HIS WILL for us…

 

GOD is The Giver and Sustainer of Life

God holds ALL of us accountable for our behavior as well as how we give or do not give. Think about it for a moment? God really does see and know everything about all of us. How many times does the Bible mention the disciples indulging in sexual sins? Quite often the faults of the disciples are mentioned to make a point of their flaws. It was Judas who was close to the Lord, who sold Him out for money? Go figure? People often relate to others  because they have the same experiences.  But in actuality we are to depend on the Holy Spirit to help us exercise self-control  in all areas of our life, not upon ourselves. Truly God is more than able. All His promises are true!

 

You should want to become perfect in the Lord.   When you really believe God is omniscient you will live differently. Because you realize;  HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.  The perfection that the Bible talks about is not flawlessness. It is about learning how to be complete in the Lord. We are to daily strive for perfection. There is always room for improvement in all of us.   We are to regularly take Spiritual Baths in HIS WORD! We should be forever growing in His grace, knowledge and wisdom as long as He has us on this side of Heaven. The LORD is able to deliver us from ALL evil! We CAN be “Strong in the LORD!” Or HE would not have told us to do so.

 

 

Good boundaries should be exercised when you know someone is weak in certain areas. This applies even more so when you know you are in a carnal environment. You should be able to greet with a hug and express godly love and not want to sleep with or have any sexual interest with them. I say this because I have known that there are a few who use this as an opportunity to meet possible conquests. I personally do not usually indulge in what I call the many “Simon Says” activities that are now prominent during worship. Turn to your neighbor, say this, turn around, jump up and down, clap your hands etc. Observe, how many respond just like robots without thinking. This is actually “Group Think” behavior. Also notice that this is a trend that has also been recently  adopted in these latter years. It is optional.  This can at times hinder the flow of the Spirit.  There are few moments of peaceful meditation. There needs to be a balance. GOD always know when we are real! We are not to just do everything that man says do… How did we get here? It is always important to remain prayerful during worship.

 

We are living in the “Lasts Days” and some of everything is going on everywhere. Not everyone regards worship or “The House of The Lord” as sacred. 

 

Many Christians have been side tracked by indulging in ongoing sexual sin. Think about it, when this is the case this is actually practicing sin. Regardless of who they are this is not good.  They do not realize just how much this impacts their Spiritual Gift(s). Or maybe they are just ignorant to GOD’S OMNIPRESENCE and believe He doesn’t really know what is happening? Never undermine who GOD IS! Its important to keep in mind during worship that not everyone is spiritual. Encouraging repentance is always good. “Prayer ye one for another!”  Few really understand what it means to; “BE STILL & KNOW” I believe that there is much spiritual tension in the Body of Christ  that can easily be alleviated.

 

The Spirit of God is quenched when you operate in a carnal mode.

 

 

Many operate by using a seducing spirit which is NOT of GOD!  Many simply respond to the beat of the music. Remember this is a Spiritual battle. Pray for discernment! & Keep your Spiritual Armor on!   Many honestly don’t realize how they water down the effectiveness of their testimony. They also hinder their spiritual gifts when they are indulging in sexual misconduct.

 

 

Sex is not something to play with.

This is not about being negative, I am better than you, nor being Miss Such a Much. This is about being real! We are living in some interesting times with some of everything going on everywhere.  Many come to worship empty and leave the same way. For many nothing is sacred.

 

 

There is a better way to begin to lessen the growing number of Christians as well as non Christians to have better control in the area of sex. Less STDS makes the world safer for all of us…  This is a major problem throughout the world. You will never  have to worry about these type of things when you honor God in your marriage, life and home. We must work on encouraging others to build healthier relationships inside and outside of marriage.  At the same time know that marriage is not all about sex… Just know that God only sanctions sex between a husband and a wife.   We must respect our marriages as well as the marriages of others. When we do so we honor GOD!

 

I have seen that people are a lot more interested in talking about people who have a problem with material possessions. Usually the one who really has the problem is fixated on what someone else has. How big their house is or what kind of vehicle they drive? Or how often they travel here or there?

 

It was not Solomon’s material possessions that got him in trouble. It was His sex life! How he ever managed 300 wives and 700 concubines is news to me. Well you see in actuality he didn’t do this  to well; it is what really eventually nearly destroyed him. We can learn much from his plethora of Wisdom he candidly shares.

 

I always say: “I DO NOT have to go to the bottom of the Creek to know that there is mud way down in the bottom of it.”

 

In Ecclesiastes 12:13 & 14 Solomon says “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.”

 

Sex is not something to play with, don’t be deceived by thinking otherwise. The employment of improper sex in your life will ultimately lead to some type of dysfunction or some other problem. Take a Spiritual Bath in HIS WORD repent and exercise self control. You will be more confident in who you are in the Lord when you are striving to live to please Him. 

 

Let the LORD minster to your Spirit! Spend some alone  quality time with the LORD in HIS WORD! 

The 1st chapter of Romans candidly teaches us that GOD is opposed to same sex relationships. It goes against His natural boundaries; “…They exchanged the TRUTH of GOD for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator, who is forever praised. Amen! Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in them the due penalty for their perversion…” Acts 1 You cannot change the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD! If you disagree take it up with GOD!

Think long and hard before you have or continue to have sex outside of marriage!

SEXUAL Problems For the Christians Part 4

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 4

Part 4

Today; 55 – 60% Of Marriages are Ending in Divorce!

I remember jokingly telling my husband years ago that we were going to be looked at, as “there goes that married heterosexual couple.” I am thankful to say God has blessed us over and over again during four plus decades of commitment. Truly our Lord is Faithful. This is why I know that it is by His grace that this has been possible.  We daily rise to give Him the glory. Marriage God’s Way Works!

 

 

The Supreme Court of the United States has voted against the Word of God! They support alternative “same sex unions.” Your choice is your choice. However, It is important to know that God does not sanction “same sex unions.” Marriage between one man and one woman is God’s Design for Marriage. Marriage God’s Way is Holy Matrimony ordained by God!

 

We live in a time when 55- 60% of marriages are ending in divorce! I understand that we live in difficult times.  These are certainly the “Last Days” when some of everything is happening. The spiritual warfare will do everything it can to promote and construct distorted ungodly views of marriage as favorable. Many couples choose to live together rather than marry.  This really is saying that they do not want to commit to one another.  Many marry and don’t really know what they are getting into! Many marry and continue to have mutual relationships outside of marriage. This is not good…

 

At some point this will result in regret!

 

Keep or rekindle and embrace the affections that brought you together.  Keep the respect, trust, love and honor you committed to. 

 

Some couples are pulled in many directions because of the pulls of sexual supposedly freedom. This should not be.  Just know it is a seducing spirit that wants to deceive you. Birth of illicit pleasure can often lead to death of a marriage.  Realize God is always aware.  He has given us healthy marriage boundaries. That are inclusive of genuine freedom.  A healthy marriage consists of two people who wants what is  best for one another and the marriage. 

 

 

If you are married and you know something is not right, please take inventory. Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich! The problem won’t just go away. Don’t front it. Seek to resolve it. Rekindle the honorable  affections that brought you together. Be more concerned about what God thinks! Find out what God has to say about marriage.  Invite Him into the your marriage. After all you made a vow to Him as well…  Begin to take whatever steps are necessary to take back control of your marriage. Seek healthy ways to resolve unnecessary conflict.

 

Proverbs tells us that you cannot “take fire into your bosom and not be burned.” WOW! Earnestly repent and stop indulging in sinful behavior. Run quickly from anyone who comforts you in sexual sin.  They will love you to death (which is not love at all) if you have been playing with fire please stop! You should know better and they should too if they are believers.  Or perhaps you don’t really believe what God has said. You will actually feel a lot better when you get things right with God. Remember His blood can cleanse you from all unrighteousness! God always has a better way.  Just know God is a more than able in any situation!

 

 

TRUE LOVE does not sanction wrong

Men and women vary in their priorities in the area of sexual needs. Men in general have intercourse higher on their lists of priorities. For instance it may be the number one preference for a man. It may be the second or fourth for the woman. Her first need may be simple  affection. Of course meaning affection from her husband.  His second may be financial security. Together you can work through anything together. Always strive to seek a healthy balance. Be  willing to share openly and honestly.  Always have your spouses best interest at heart. Marriage is the ultimate partnership. 

 

 

You see many often confuse their needs. and wants. Together you can fulfill your needs and or  wants  by working together as a team.  God has promised to “supply all of our needs…”   Meaning those needs that are in His Will.  You can also work together on your wants. There is power in unity!  God is willing to help you in all aspects of your marriage.  When you know God is omnipresent you become less inhibited and more transparent  because You know He is present.   There are healthy ways to come together in physical &  emotional harmony.  After all God made us.   He made us to  be able to come together as husband and wife in a mutually satisfying way.  Always remember that God honors marriage.

 

 

In marriage you can experience an emotional & physical  harmonic “Oneness!”   This is when you are secure in your marriage. There is an unexplainable freedom when you truly trust one another this is apparent when you are together  or apart.     You have inner peace and contentment when you trust one another.  You also know that when you have the Lord in your life you are never really alone.   Therefore they are things that you do not do. I can truly say that we thoroughly enjoy one another’s company.

 

 

I have learned  that your best and wisest counsel always comes from the Lord.  After many years of practicing in Christian Counseling “praying without ceasing.” becomes second nature. You really do have to rely on the Lord as well as uphold healthy boundaries.  You cannot rely on hearsay or how things appear…  God can give you keen insight however you must also exercise discipline when counseling others.   Some come to bring division.   So make sure you are responding to bring forth truth and your desire is to please the Lord. It is important to know that you are held accountable by the Lord  so beware where you tread. 

 

Please be careful who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life.  Be very careful who you allow to speak  over you or your family especially when they do not share the same values.   Do not let them rummage around in your life.     Most of all it is important that they really do respect and value godly principles.  Know it is always  important to establish safe open surroundings when you do so as well as to not allow yourself to be placed in a compromising  situation… Always be attentive when anyone speaks before you. Have an exit ear when you know something that is said is not from God!  On the other hand receive any godly correction when necessary.  Know this; God is  omniscient and He holds us accountable.  When you know this is true you will  live differently!  This is why I always say: “Christ Jesus  is our Best Witness.”

 

When you properly practice sex within the confines of your marriage you can experience true spiritual and sexual fulfillment in harmony.  Agur  the son of  Jakeh speaks about the fact that  every Word of God is pure and He is a shield to those who trust Him. He speaks words of wisdom and compares and contrasts the good and bad things.  Pertaining to this subject he compares and contrasts.  “….the way of  an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship of the sea; and the way of a  man with his maid…  ” Proverbs 30   “This of course  is from a spiritual  perspective.  The only safe sex is within marriage.   You reinforce a permanent cohesive  bond that God made especially for marriage that God honors.. “Let not man put it asunder…”

 

No you do not have to become cold, reserved, indifferent and or rigid. But you do or should become disciplined! You should  respect natural boundaries. If you are cold or frigid don’t stay that way. You can learn how to properly guard your heart without becoming cold.  Love is patient, tender, strong  and kind.  Correction is also a part of love. You can learn to do this gracefully as well.  You can also learn how to open your heart, mind and soul to your committed spouse.  After all you are supposed to be or become “One.” Transparency is a wonderful thing.  However you must also  be discerning.  You can  enjoy being alone when you know you are never really alone… You can also extend sincere love to others especially when you yourself are fulfilled in your marriage! 

 

 

When you truly Love, you do not just yoke yourself up with just  anything or anyone. A proper sexual relationship is like “epoxy!” When the two adhesive components come together they form a permanent bond that technically should be very difficult or virtually impossible to break.   But both components are equally important to make it work… As you grow together in a healthy way so does your respect and trust.  Your love deepens as the Lord brings it to a higher level of conscious awareness.   I use this illustration  of glue because it visually represents “what God has joined together let not man put asunder.” It is a healthy bond that few really understand. Love always protects it does not suffocate!    Love brings freedom.  You can really trust one another!  

 

 

If you are single and desire to be married guard your heart until someone who is willing to grow in Love & Life with you comes along.    Don’t  just give parts of yourself away for a fling…    Date to marry not to simply  try out one another…   This will only leave you emptier… Embracing “abstinence”  will keep you safe.  If this has not been the case start now…  Start each day fresh and present your needs to the Lord.  Take some time to let Him refuel, refresh and cleanse you. Cling to the Lord and trust Him to supply your relationship needs in a healthy way until that right someone comes along. Be strong in Him and don’t compromise who you are in Him.   Really begin to value the person you are becoming. No one can be a better you than you.  You have something that only you can offer.  Life is precious & God is always Good!  Seek to always be a “Better You!” Don’t sell yourself short. Each day is a Gift from the Lord. You are not alone and He is there for you willing to go every step of the way…

 

 

Love does not sanction wrong. It is within a healthy marriage one learns properly how to have their sexual desires fulfilled. As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is room for improvement in ALL of us.  You cannot change anything that has already happened. But you can press forward knowing that GOD LOVES YOU! If you have not already, begin developing a relationship where you can mutually get your needs met. There is a oneness that one can experience in marriage that GOD sanctions. When you are truly fulfilled you will have no need or desire to indulge in extra marital affairs.   You will work together and not against God’s purpose for you lives like Aquila & Priscilla.  You will also  readily disengage from what you know is not of God. You  truly will experience trust in a beautiful way.  You understand and practice the benefits of self control. You embrace the Truth of God’s Word and seek HIS Will for your life and your marriage. You will also have great security knowing that you are honoring God in your relationship!

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5


Part 5

You Can Build A Loving Satisfying Marriage

Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages.

Abuse, mistreatment, low self esteem and cruel continuing self punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with self defeating shame you have been left with a cloud hanging over you. This is NOT God’s destiny for you. God does not want you to have an unhappy marriage. Nor does He want you to have ongoing difficult relationships. Remember; GOD WILL; “supply all your needs according to HIS riches in CHRIST JESUS!” As simple as it sounds, You must start believing HIS WORD. For HIS WORD is “quick & powerful!” Which means it is ALIVE!

 

Now for some interim therapy; Get yourself a pillow, turn on some good Gospel Music and have yourself a good cry. Empty out some of that pain that continues to weigh you down. God knows exactly where you are. You are not alone in this. Allow the Lord to shower you with His Holy Spirit. Accept HIS marvelous Grace and allow HIS mercy to over shadow you. Start anew allowing His Holy Spirit within your inner being.

 

 

Don’t have an ongoing pity party that keeps you fixated on what has been. Use the pain, suffering and hurt to rebuild and or strengthen your character. Let this motivate you to change.  Recovery implies you are seeking to regain or replace what has been lost. Embrace godly principles to better guard your heart and accept the cleansing power of His Holy Spirit to make you His “New Creation.” God’s Word is so important. It is  not to just read but to actually bring forth healing & restoration.

 

GOD IS GOOD!!! GOD IS THE ULTIMATE HEALER!!!

 

Thank God for HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER! Yes, there is hope for you and your marriage or future marriage. In the Lord you can find comfort. Make it your goal to seek and discover how to Love God and yourself more.

 

What God meant to be such a beautiful loving, emotional, physical expressive bonding experience between a husband and wife has become so terribly misunderstood.  Having intercourse is not a time to simply use your spouse.  It is a time to come together as one in a mutual safe satisfying way. Yes, this can be done in a honorable  way.  God does not sanction any and everything. You can be creative  have fun and remain respectful. Don’t think for a moment that He is not aware of what is happening everywhere…

 

 

There is a viable remedy. Each couple is different and needs to be sensitive to one another.  Sex is just part of a building a good healthy marriage. It is and enhancement that binds you together.  But it is not what keeps you together…   As husband and wife you must or should  work together harmoniously in all aspects of life.  You can build a healthy loving satisfying, caring understanding  marriage together.  You know why? Because God says so. Things are not always as they appear. Nor is this  a time for eye witnesses. 

 

 

The marriage bed in the eyes of God is undefiled.   How few or frequently is the time you come together  is up to you.  There are also times when you will want to abstain  for spiritual purposes.  Our bodies are unique.  You can remain a virtuous woman at all times… So always keep this in mind. Your marriage intimate love making is uniquely designed for you and by you as you come together as one.  At times it is simply a time of expressing “Oneness” or merely closeness.  Study the human anatomy as well if necessary.  Working together to achieve mutual satisfaction without shame is a healthy aspect of a good marriage. It is important to communicate with one another.  There is often unspoken communication, good healthy communication  is not always verbal.  Be in tune  to one another. 

 

 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt not shame.” Genesis 2  God created the first  woman for Adam.  Adam was all alone.  He caused Adam to go into a deep sleep.  The  woman was then made from his rib bone to be at his side. She was created to be His Helpmeet.   Woman came from man.  God brought her to Adam and they both were naked and not ashamed. They were both created as one in Adam. It was not until after they sinned was the woman  even named.   Notice that it was Adam who actually later named her Eve.  Marriage is God’s first institution! 

 

Do not intrude on the privacy of someone’s marriage. Marriage in the eyes of GOD is sacred!

 

It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem.   Or sex is dirty.  This should not be. You can talk about sex respectfully like any other subject.  It is important to talk to your children as well about sex yet in an  age appropriate manner.  They should know these days that some places are strictly for elimination of  digested food.   They should know that they can talk to you as their parents about anything…  Your children should always feel safe in your presence even when you correct them. By the way child abuse of any kind is a definite NO NO! Any form of Human Trafficking is an abomination to the LORD!  It is not the talking about sex that is the problem.  You should make them well aware about what God has to say about a husband  and wife coming together…  Many have been given erroneous information that has hindered them more than it has helped…  It is when people misuse or abuse sex  outside the confines of marriage that actually brings much confusion.  

 

Perils of Adultery

Adultery has serious consequences. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their very own thoughts!   Many at one time were killed by stoning  for adultery. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter who leads us to all TRUTH! God is not a God of darkness.  Absolutely everything is transparent to Him! There is nothing new under the sun. Please take some time to ponder,  read and meditate on  this passage  of scripture and allow God’s Light to illuminate your mind;

 

My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 

For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.

 

It is important to keep in mind that we are all different. But the principles for life and living for us all given by GOD in HIS WORD are very beneficial to all of us. Your marriage will be whatever you make it! Your relationships will be whatever you make them. Be selective as to whom you allow to speak into your life… Readily reject anything that is not of God!  God has given us in HIS WORD guidelines to help us in every area of our lives. It is your choice to know HIS WORD for yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pull you away from what you know to be right.

 

The world says do whatever feels good and follow the majority.   Your are under GRACE! “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts therefore.  Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto GOD, as those that  are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto GOD …” Romans 6

 

Jesus Christ did not die for us to be slaves to sin. He wants to be a part of every area of our lives. HE never ever sinned.  “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of GOD…”  Romans 3.  CHRIST JESUS overcame sin in the flesh for us. He fulfilled the law which was a mere schoolmaster… This is why we ALL need HIM as SAVIOR & LORD! As you begin to embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD you can discover a “Marvelous Freedom” that yields much discipline as well as  inner peace.  Freedom does not mean that you do as you please when and how you please. Nor does Godly Freedom mean that you become legalistic. You rather seek a balance in all that you do. Your desire to live to please the Lord  will continue to grow as you seek Him. This type of Freedom helps you to yield to the principles of HIS WORD and you become increasingly disciplined and able to exercise self-control! You are not so easily led astray… The Fruit of God’s Spirit continually develops, manifests and multiplies within your daily life and also within your marriage.

 

You daily seek  or should seek to be led daily by HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER!

 

 

Jesus came for us to live differently. He wants us to be different from the world. The world at large will not get better. He does not want you to be anybody’s puppet or robot. He wants to help each of us/ you to  become the “Best You” led by His Holy Spirit. He will never lead us to do anything that goes against HIS WORD!  Know that many of the ways of this  world have entered amidst God’s Church.   BEWARE! “For THE WHEAT and the tares are growing together…”   

 

“GOD IS LOVE” There is nothing, no thing, nor place,  or anyone greater than GOD!  Know that we the people are GOD’S CHURCH! In HIM you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life, Love, Daily Living & ETERNAL LIFE!  In order for this to be so;  we must, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and everything else will be added unto you…” Matthew 6

 

Know who you belong to

We serve an Omniscient God. As a believer know that your body is the Temple of GOD! This is what HIS WORD teaches us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” I Corinthians 6   Be conscious of how much food  you do or do not put into  your body as well.  Become more conscious of healthier ways to nourish your body.  Be conscious of how you take care of it and what you do to it or what you place in it and where as well. Take care of your Temple.   Exercise self control and moderation.  As you age do so gracefully. Time is precious…  This is one of many reasons why it is important to take time to daily draw closer to the LORD!  Self-control is a by product of The Fruit of His Spirit. I assure you that it is only in HIM that you can discover true “Security & Significance. ”  

 

 

It is important to spend time with the LORD in HIS WORD! This way you can better understand when something or someone says or does is from the LORD or not from the LORD!  Holy Matrimony is God’s only  design for Marriage!  Know God and His Word for yourself… For His Word is “A LAMP unto our feet and A LIGHT  unto our path…”  Pray for increased discernment. 

 

Sharing & Caring!

“Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world!” As you submit to the Lord He will or can HELP you in every area of your life. God is greater than any problem that you will ever encounter. God wants to build Christian Character within us daily. He wants us to daily walk in the Light of HIS WORD!  GOD has magnificent miraculous healing power! By His Grace we can be made whole! 

 

Faithfulness, Grace, Joy, Laughter, Love & Peace comes from the LORD!  We can always and forever trust God and His Word! “…But when the kindness and LOVE of GOD our SAVIOR appeared. HE SAVED us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the HOLY SPIRIT, whom HE POURED OUT GENEROUSLY through JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR, so that, having been JUSTIFIED BY  HIS GRACE, we might BECOME HEIRS having the HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE. This is a TRUSTWORTHY saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who trusted in GOD may be careful to DEVOTE THEMSELVES TO DOING GOOD. These things are EXCELLENT & PROFITABLE for EVERYONE…” Titus 3

 

TRUST GOD AND DAILY EMBRACE & APPLY HIS WORD TO YOUR LIFE.  ABOVE ALL OTHERS TRUST GOD, FOR HE CAN HEAL  EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE!  BE BLESSED IN THE LORD!  LIVE EVERYDAY: “TO GOD BE THE GLORY!”

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Did You Grow Up In The Church? Part 1


Did you grow up in the Church but; the Church did not grow up in you? Did you regularly attend Church and regularly participate in all the auxiliaries yet, you did not or do not really have a real relationship with the Lord? Do you just go to Church and the moment you are behind closed doors you abandon all of God’s principles for living? Do you live Monday thru Saturday conforming to the world? Do you go to Church, study God’s Word but don’t really understand how to apply it to your own life? Have you or do you truly live a Godly life before your spouse and children or friends and relatives? Are you obedient to your pastor but disrespectful to your spouse? Are you a great Pastor who is a lousy husband? Do you really know what it is to have a personal relationship with the Lord? If the Lord was to return today can you truly say you will be “caught up in the air to meet Him?” Do you know that Jesus really does make a difference in your life? I am not talking about some religious experience. I am asking you these questions to provoke thought.

For many accepting Jesus Christ is a public experience. For many it is a procedure. For many, accepting Jesus Christ means to have your name on a membership role. Go through a basic initial training; decide what auxiliaries you would like to participate in then, jump right in. (I say auxiliary because there was a time when it was unheard of to say ministries.) If you attend regularly, pay your tithes, don’t make any waves, nor question the process, you have achieved conversion in the eyes of your trainers? In many cases you are expected to give in and yield to those who are in charge regardless. If you are related to or accepted by the established inner circle it is quite possible that as long as you conform to their wishes you can pretty much do whatever you desire. You do not really have to make any major changes in your personal life. Why? Because you love them and they love you, you have proven successfully that you are teachable, obedient and that you respect authority. They also are heart readers and can determine who is who? Hooray! You are now accepted in to what a very good God given friend of mine calls “the club”. Does any of this sound familiar? Did you grow up in the Church but the Church did not grow up in you?

What is the Church? Webster defines Church as; a building of public worship and especially Christian. A body or organization of religious believers. The clergy of a religious body. The Word of God teaches us that HIS people are actually His Church! The Christian Church is really a family of believers who have truly accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and Lord. Who earnestly and faithfully have committed to being governed by God’s principles. As long as we remain on this side of heaven there is room for improvement.

Commit means to; put in trust. To cosign for preservation, disposal or safekeeping, to obligate, bind to and live by. When you commit to live for the Lord; you agree to surrender to His will and His way. You really should live your life from the perspective that God really does see everything. His Holy Spirit becomes your inner guide. You consistently study His Word. As you walk in faith and obedience to God’s principles you are strengthened spiritually. You don’t conform to the world neither do you disrespect the laws of the land.

The Lord loves us so much He gives us the freedom to choose. In His Word He tells us if you abide in Him He will abide in you. His Divine and Holy Spirit will take up residence in your soul. His Holy Spirit is also known as the Comforter. The Comforter will become your inner guide; The Comforter will make your conscious sensitive and aware of Godly instruction for life and daily living. The Comforter will let you know that Jesus Christ is the “Bread of life” John 6:35. That He is the “True Vine” John 15:1. That He is the “Light of the world” John 8:12. That He is “the way, the Truth, and the life.” John 14:6

God will give you a mentally sound mind. It is your choice to continue to sharpen it with His Word. PRAY FOR DISCERNMENT!

Ask yourself have you really chosen God’s way? Have you changed or just outwardly conformed to be accepted? If this is the case you will have very little self discipline. Nor will you have true inner peace. If you have truly changed there is an inner metamorphosis. You will begin to walk in the fruit of His Spirit. Do you really seek the truth? Or do you seek to prove and accept what is false? Is Jesus truly important in your home, job, career and life? Did you grow up in the Church but the Church did not grow up in you?

See Part 2


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