SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5
December 28, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral & Emotional Health
You Can Build A Loving Satisfying Marriage
Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages.
Abuse, mistreatment, low self esteem and cruel continuing self punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with self defeating shame you have been left with a cloud hanging over you. This is NOT God’s destiny for you. God does not want you to have an unhappy marriage. Nor does He want you to have ongoing difficult relationships. Remember; GOD WILL; “supply all your needs according to HIS riches in CHRIST JESUS!” As simple as it sounds, You must start believing HIS WORD. For HIS WORD is “quick & powerful!” Which means it is ALIVE!
Now for some interim therapy; Get yourself a pillow, turn on some good Gospel Music and have yourself a good cry. Empty out some of that pain that continues to weigh you down. God knows exactly where you are. You are not alone in this. Allow the Lord to shower you with His Holy Spirit. Accept HIS marvelous Grace and allow HIS mercy to over shadow you. Start anew allowing His Holy Spirit within your inner being.
Don’t have an ongoing pity party that keeps you fixated on what has been. Use the pain, suffering and hurt to rebuild and or strengthen your character. Let this motivate you to change. Recovery implies you are seeking to regain or replace what has been lost. Embrace godly principles to better guard your heart and accept the cleansing power of His Holy Spirit to make you His “New Creation.” God’s Word is so important. It is not to just read but to actually bring forth healing & restoration.
GOD IS GOOD!!! GOD IS THE ULTIMATE HEALER!!!
Thank God for HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER! Yes, there is hope for you and your marriage or future marriage. In the Lord you can find comfort. Make it your goal to seek and discover how to Love God and yourself more.
What God meant to be such a beautiful loving, emotional, physical expressive bonding experience between a husband and wife has become so terribly misunderstood. Having intercourse is not a time to simply use your spouse. It is a time to come together as one in a mutual safe satisfying way. Yes, this can be done in a honorable way. God does not sanction any and everything. You can be creative have fun and remain respectful. Don’t think for a moment that He is not aware of what is happening everywhere…
There is a viable remedy. Each couple is different and needs to be sensitive to one another. Sex is just part of a building a good healthy marriage. It is and enhancement that binds you together. But it is not what keeps you together… As husband and wife you must or should work together harmoniously in all aspects of life. You can build a healthy loving satisfying, caring understanding marriage together. You know why? Because God says so. Things are not always as they appear. Nor is this a time for eye witnesses.
The marriage bed in the eyes of God is undefiled. How few or frequently is the time you come together is up to you. There are also times when you will want to abstain for spiritual purposes. Our bodies are unique. You can remain a virtuous woman at all times… So always keep this in mind. Your marriage intimate love making is uniquely designed for you and by you as you come together as one. At times it is simply a time of expressing “Oneness” or merely closeness. Study the human anatomy as well if necessary. Working together to achieve mutual satisfaction without shame is a healthy aspect of a good marriage. It is important to communicate with one another. There is often unspoken communication, good healthy communication is not always verbal. Be in tune to one another.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt not shame.” Genesis 2 God created the first woman for Adam. Adam was all alone. He caused Adam to go into a deep sleep. The woman was then made from his rib bone to be at his side. She was created to be His Helpmeet. Woman came from man. God brought her to Adam and they both were naked and not ashamed. They were both created as one in Adam. It was not until after they sinned was the woman even named. Notice that it was Adam who actually later named her Eve. Marriage is God’s first institution!
Do not intrude on the privacy of someone’s marriage. Marriage in the eyes of GOD is sacred!
It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem. Or sex is dirty. This should not be. You can talk about sex respectfully like any other subject. It is important to talk to your children as well about sex yet in an age appropriate manner. They should know these days that some places are strictly for elimination of digested food. They should know that they can talk to you as their parents about anything… Your children should always feel safe in your presence even when you correct them. By the way child abuse of any kind is a definite NO NO! Any form of Human Trafficking is an abomination to the LORD! It is not the talking about sex that is the problem. You should make them well aware about what God has to say about a husband and wife coming together… Many have been given erroneous information that has hindered them more than it has helped… It is when people misuse or abuse sex outside the confines of marriage that actually brings much confusion.
Perils of Adultery
Adultery has serious consequences. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their very own thoughts! Many at one time were killed by stoning for adultery. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter who leads us to all TRUTH! God is not a God of darkness. Absolutely everything is transparent to Him! There is nothing new under the sun. Please take some time to ponder, read and meditate on this passage of scripture and allow God’s Light to illuminate your mind;
“My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.
For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.
It is important to keep in mind that we are all different. But the principles for life and living for us all given by GOD in HIS WORD are very beneficial to all of us. Your marriage will be whatever you make it! Your relationships will be whatever you make them. Be selective as to whom you allow to speak into your life… Readily reject anything that is not of God! God has given us in HIS WORD guidelines to help us in every area of our lives. It is your choice to know HIS WORD for yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pull you away from what you know to be right.
The world says do whatever feels good and follow the majority. Your are under GRACE! “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts therefore. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto GOD, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto GOD …” Romans 6
Jesus Christ did not die for us to be slaves to sin. He wants to be a part of every area of our lives. HE never ever sinned. “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of GOD…” Romans 3. CHRIST JESUS overcame sin in the flesh for us. He fulfilled the law which was a mere schoolmaster… This is why we ALL need HIM as SAVIOR & LORD! As you begin to embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD you can discover a “Marvelous Freedom” that yields much discipline as well as inner peace. Freedom does not mean that you do as you please when and how you please. Nor does Godly Freedom mean that you become legalistic. You rather seek a balance in all that you do. Your desire to live to please the Lord will continue to grow as you seek Him. This type of Freedom helps you to yield to the principles of HIS WORD and you become increasingly disciplined and able to exercise self-control! You are not so easily led astray… The Fruit of God’s Spirit continually develops, manifests and multiplies within your daily life and also within your marriage.
You daily seek or should seek to be led daily by HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER!
Jesus came for us to live differently. He wants us to be different from the world. The world at large will not get better. He does not want you to be anybody’s puppet or robot. He wants to help each of us/ you to become the “Best You” led by His Holy Spirit. He will never lead us to do anything that goes against HIS WORD! Know that many of the ways of this world have entered amidst God’s Church. BEWARE! “For THE WHEAT and the tares are growing together…”
“GOD IS LOVE” There is nothing, no thing, nor place, or anyone greater than GOD! Know that we the people are GOD’S CHURCH! In HIM you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life, Love, Daily Living & ETERNAL LIFE! In order for this to be so; we must, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and everything else will be added unto you…” Matthew 6
Know who you belong to
We serve an Omniscient God. As a believer know that your body is the Temple of GOD! This is what HIS WORD teaches us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” I Corinthians 6 Be conscious of how much food you do or do not put into your body as well. Become more conscious of healthier ways to nourish your body. Be conscious of how you take care of it and what you do to it or what you place in it and where as well. Take care of your Temple. Exercise self control and moderation. As you age do so gracefully. Time is precious… This is one of many reasons why it is important to take time to daily draw closer to the LORD! Self-control is a by product of The Fruit of His Spirit. I assure you that it is only in HIM that you can discover true “Security & Significance. ”
It is important to spend time with the LORD in HIS WORD! This way you can better understand when something or someone says or does is from the LORD or not from the LORD! Holy Matrimony is God’s only design for Marriage! Know God and His Word for yourself… For His Word is “A LAMP unto our feet and A LIGHT unto our path…” Pray for increased discernment.
Sharing & Caring!
“Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world!” As you submit to the Lord He will or can HELP you in every area of your life. God is greater than any problem that you will ever encounter. God wants to build Christian Character within us daily. He wants us to daily walk in the Light of HIS WORD! GOD has magnificent miraculous healing power! By His Grace we can be made whole!
Faithfulness, Grace, Joy, Laughter, Love & Peace comes from the LORD! We can always and forever trust God and His Word! “…But when the kindness and LOVE of GOD our SAVIOR appeared. HE SAVED us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the HOLY SPIRIT, whom HE POURED OUT GENEROUSLY through JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR, so that, having been JUSTIFIED BY HIS GRACE, we might BECOME HEIRS having the HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE. This is a TRUSTWORTHY saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who trusted in GOD may be careful to DEVOTE THEMSELVES TO DOING GOOD. These things are EXCELLENT & PROFITABLE for EVERYONE…” Titus 3
TRUST GOD AND DAILY EMBRACE & APPLY HIS WORD TO YOUR LIFE. ABOVE ALL OTHERS TRUST GOD, FOR HE CAN HEAL EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE! BE BLESSED IN THE LORD! LIVE EVERYDAY: “TO GOD BE THE GLORY!”