What does it mean to “Love!” ? Part 2

True love is kind of like quality; you know it when you see it. “I love the Lord because he heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to my prayers.” Psalms 116 This is one of my favorite passages of scriptures. GOD IS REAL! We are saved by God’s grace. This is HIS GIFT to us.

We are living in some interesting times. The perilous days are definitely upon us. This generation has some extreme interesting influences and obstacles to wade through. There is a continual moral decline and much to undermine the validity of marriage God’s Way as well as family values. KNOW GOD’S WORD! There is much going on to encourage the masses to embrace “sexual inclusivity.” We are to embrace others but not to cosign any sin. This is not about hate but more about spiritual boundaries.

LORD HELP US! GOD is clear in HIS WORD about marriage & sexual relationships. There is so much spiritual warfare to thwart traveling on the Narrow Path on to the broad road that leads to destruction. Just about anything goes in the world and for some in God’s Church as well.

GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE!

It is important to keep in mind that our children do not belong to us. They belong to GOD. It is important to give them wise godly counsel as they are growing up. It is important to instill within them good morals and values. It is important to walk the walk you talk about. This is what builds healthy family bonds. No matter how well you have raised them there are many random influences. You should want them to be autonomous yet dependent upon the Lord for He is everywhere. Love does not desire to suffocate. Once they become adults they have a right to make their own decisions.

We as believers are all accountable to GOD for our actions. This is true whether you believe in Him or not. It is important to spend time with the Lord in His Word.

Realize that once your children become adults you may not always agree. When you have spent a lot of time with your children you should know their temperaments. You can discern when something is awry. Each person is so very different. Allow them the freedom and space to make their own decisions. As well as the freedom to experience the consequences for their decisions. Respect them as adults. However, always remain prayerful for there is much divisive spiritual warfare. They do and will have to at some point answer to the Lord for their actions and their
decisions…

GOD’S LOVE IS ETERNAL!

I am thankful that the LORD has SAVED my household. I realize that through Eternity we will live with the Lord at the appointed time. This motivates me to stand for what is right. The purpose for life and living is to WORSHIP & PRAISE GOD! He is the Creator and Maker of Heaven and earth. Life is a precious GIFT from the Lord! This world was spoken into existence by His living WORD; CHRIST JESUS! GOD keeps HIS PROMISES! You can rest assured that ultimately the Lord has everything under His control. Knowing that forever we will together gives me an unexplainable peace and security in the midst of a world full of turmoil. For this I am also eternally grateful!

We must exercise patience in our relationships with our family, friends, love ones, neighbors, co workers and yes strangers. When someone pushes your buttons to make you react; you are being controlled by remote. Sometimes you might have to put distance between you. It is always good for all of us to seek ways to improve ourselves. Don’t compromise who you are and what you know to be right to be accepted.

There is no condemnation when we are walking in the Spirit! But whenever we allow the flesh to direct us we need to be mindful that sin wants to rule. It leaves more room for error to persist. This does not have to be. Therefore we should cry “Abba Father” for direction to remain on the Narrow Path. Readily “REPENT!” LORD YOU ARE AWESOME!

Remember GOD IS OMNISICENT; HE IS ALL KNOWING! You do not have to go through the same things that others go through to understand them. JESUS CHRIST is MORE THAN ABLE in every situation. HE IS LORD! HE spoke mankind and this world into existence. When you are sincere, GOD will open up your understanding for understanding comes from HIM! However you must rely and trust upon Him to help you as you counsel with others. The Spirit of GOD is always willing to HELP us for GOD has not left us alone to fend for ourselves. Thank You Holy Spirit! His Holy Spirit can lead us to all TRUTH! This is why we all will forever need Christ Jesus!

Few people really know what it means to be loved. Keep in mind GOD’S definition of LOVE! People live in estranged relationships for years. This does not have to be. Households are literally filled with strangers. Sickness, anger, resentment and unresolved bitterness becomes the cohesive components to bind them together. Often they will try to impose this upon you. They do not necessarily want to resolve conflict but project their unhappiness upon you. They often seek ungodly counsel to reinforce their behavior rather than to confront the situation in truth. Take the trash out. Don’t spend a lot of time in the garbage of life.

Don’t allow anyone to mentally or physically abuse you. Put some distance between you and them until you are able to be safe in their presence. Don’t provoke someone to wrath as well. This puts you in harms way. Domesticate violence is serious. Don’t hurl insult upon insult until you demean a person to the point that they retaliate with unbridled anger.

Often when someone has been repeatedly abused they unconsciously fight to create a hostile living environment that they have grown accustomed to. This in itself has a power of its own. It can even pull someone into it who has not lived in hostility off their center. They respond as a caged animal and begin to resort to abusive behavior to survive in a foreign environment. God can truly help you to overcome anything but you must learn to submit to HIM. He can deliver you and help you respond differently. REPENT instead of repeat! The cycle of abuse needs to be broken not passed down to another generation.

This is why it is important to know God’s True Love. God is not the Author of confusion. Invite HIM into every area of your life and move towards making the necessary changes. Strive to become more aware of His Omnipresence. If you are a Christian your home is the first place that you should welcome the Spirit of the Lord. This does not mean that you live in a rigid legalistic environment. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is Liberty.” Daily invite His presence around you. Then when you attend worship you already have Him with you… Christianity is supposed to be a daily lifestyle.

God has a better way for you to live. But it is our individual choice. It’s never to late to implement His principles in your daily lifestyle. But it does or will require change. God can and will guide you. Get off the broad road. This is the worldly road. The broad road leads to destruction. The Narrow Path leads to God and His Peace. But there are only a few that find it. It is the road less traveled. Here is where HE wants to manifest and multiply the Fruit of His Spirit within your daily life. “ALL things are POSSIBLE with GOD!” But you must first submit to; “HIS WILL & HIS WAY!”

God always allows us the freedom to choose. It is the unselfish concern of God for man that explains His Love in a nutshell. God loved us so much that He gave His only begotten Son to die for the sins of the world on the cross. To redeem us from the power of sin. In order to free us from sin’s captivity. He laid down His life for us ALL! There is no greater love than this? Does grace give us the right to willfully sin? God forbid! Out of spiritual ignorance and some unconsciously support the wrong things in people. Rather than abet they enable.

All too often on many occasions some literally “love people to death.” When they are six feet under they cry, rant, rave and shout. But why wait until it’s too late? This does not have to be. Why do we allow people we say we care about to slowly die little by little right before our faces? Why not do something while the blood is still running warm in their veins? It’s because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. Right! We don’t want to hurt their feelings but what about hurting their life? We prefer to take away their motivation to change by comforting them in sin. This does not have to be! Motive is always key in whatever we do. Some people have been loved so wrong for so long they can’t recognize true love. There is only one way to Heaven. “Jesus Christ is the Way the Truth and the Life!”

We cannot change anybody. But God can. But we can stop supporting what we know is wrong. We should always seek to improve ourselves for there is always room for improvement in all of us. We should encourage what God has to say about Life & Living. Some things will just not be understood on this side of heaven. Believe it or not God does not ever support wrong. I don’t care if you have two or two thousand or two million people to support you if it’s wrong it’s wrong. No one is above reproach.

THANK YOU LORD FOR SETTING ME FREE!

Take some time and read Jeremiah. Listen to his vehement protest to what is happening to the environment. Look at what obedience and love he had for God and His principles. For over 40 years he pleaded with Israel. They ignored a great opportunity for spiritual, moral and ethical maturity. They still chose to justify their sins. Did you know that they did not repent in Jeremiah’s time? I wonder if they thought Jeremiah was too negative and needed a personality adjustment? Just imagine the persecution, rejection and ridicule he received for taking a stance against sin. Jeremiah didn’t just talk the talk. He walked it! He suffered greatly yet; he was steadfast and unmovable and blessed by God.

It is time for the CHURCH of GOD to seriously embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD each day. Instead of embracing the current trends of the world we are supposed to set the standard and be led by the Lord. The ways of the world have nested themselves in the midst of GOD’S CHURCH. No doubt; “THE WHEAT and the tares are growing together.” No need to fear but PRAY and ask for DISCERNMENT. We who are HIS CHURCH are supposed to live each day as thou our LORD is going to return.

God is about freedom! Spiritual Freedom comes with discipline. Sin is a slave master. It brings bondage. Did you know that it is easier for many to believe a lie rather than believe the truth? God is a Spirit of Truth. “They that worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in Truth!” Don’t just follow the crowd. Stay focused and PRAY WITHOUT CEASING during worship!

God will bless and keep you in any and all circumstances. Remember GOD is Love! God is Eternal. “Stand fast in the liberty that Christ has set you free and be not entangled with a yoke of bondage!” Sin is bondage. The Love, Peace, Freedom, and Security that God provides is priceless! God has a much better way. Get off the broad road. Discover that Narrow Path that only a few find. Commit to making a conscious effort to sin less and love with Godly Love.

Now is the time to STAND upon the WORD of GOD! THANK GOD for CHRIST JESUS!& BLESS HIS HOLY NAME!

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 4

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment!

Part 4

When do you know that you have has been delivered?

When you receive something that was mailed or sent to you; you “get it.”

Therefore when you understand the situation that has been bogging you down clearly, you also “get it!” You can then move forward and take control rather than let it take control of you. You must come out of denial and acknowledge that it occurred. Now you have decided to move forward but you will not allow it to consume your attention anymore. Whenever it surfaces you pray & “FOCUS” your attention elsewhere. You have actually taken control of it by releasing it to the Lord and now you are all the wiser because of the experience. You know where you do not want to go!

You can choose to become whole! Depression wants to consume your joy! It is important to remember that depression surfaces when you allow your unresolved anger to turn inward. Resentment means to feel again. Instead of letting go you hold on to the hurt and pain which fuels unhealthy emotions and holds you captive. Understanding what is gong on helps you to “Break Free!”

You no longer will allow the resentment to hinder you from moving forward to becoming a “better you!” You refuse to get stuck! Time is precious and you do not want to spend too much of it in regrets. You can now see the experience as having gained some deeper insight because of that particular “Life Lesson.” You do not always need to explain why, because your understanding has matured and your healthy self-esteem has begun to flourish since you take responsibility for your own emotional responses.

You are moving towards and choosing to live to please God and your confidence in Him is now growing as well. Always remember everywhere you are God is!

You can move forward. Some unconsciously choose to stay “stuck.” Some simply don’t care either way they have grown accustomed to anxiety. It has become and unhealthy “insecurity blanket!” Rather than let the resentment go they may elect to anesthetize themselves with drugs, alcohol, smoking, promiscuity, gossip, over or under eating or some other reckless behavior or distraction. This unhealthy behavior will only lead to further disappointment and possibly more addictions rather than freedom. Abusive outbursts and out of control undisciplined behavior is the unhealthy response rather than deal with the inner pain. You can break the cycle. But it takes work & dedication!

Know that GOD wants you to be Happy. He wants you to experience the Fruit of His Spirit. See Galatians 5. Jesus overcame sin in the flesh for us! We are not to make anyone else responsible for our happiness. Being happy is each individual’s personal responsibility. As a believer God’s Holy Spirit is always there to help us at all times. Sin is what separates us from God! We must humbly submit and be willing to repent of any sin. Then we can keep moving forward to wholeness!

Part 5

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 5

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 5

Time is precious and many prefer to spend it unhappy and tethered to their pain. Not because they want to but because they have not chosen to reach to something greater than themselves. First you must remember and truly believe, “I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me!” Now begin to shake it loose! Don’t just say it; do it!

God has a better way! Introspection is healthy when you look inward to attend to your part of the problem. Rather than merely find fault with the offending party you desire to seek and to resolve your own inner conflict. If you have been victimized know that the offending party has responded to you foolishly and irresponsibly. Your desire is to grow beyond the pain and or shame of the experience and mature moving forward from the painful “Life Lesson” on to another level of understanding. You have now learned how to better guard your heart and keep yourself out of harm’s way. You now will focus upon concentrating your efforts to get better and doing things differently.

Hmm, you just may even elect to take a Self Defense class to further build your confidence.

You cannot change what has happened but you can step out on Faith and really trust GOD!

Let love arise! There is no emotion stronger or more powerful than love. “God is love!” Few really understand what true love is… There is absolutely nothing that God is not aware of. He knows everything that has ever happened to you and everyone else and He still loves you. Nurture your desire to live to please God! This of course is more easier said than done. Keep in mind God created you and He has a purpose just for you. No matter how similar we may appear He breaks the mold every time.

You are The Designer’s original. Strive to become the “Best You!” Therefore diligently seek to discover His true love that only comes from Him. Embrace it and it will ripen and mature within you and the Fruit of His Spirit will continue to multiply and manifest within your life. His Light will begin to shine even brighter through you. However, pride must step aside and humility must come to the forefront. How? By exercising discipline and self-control. Know this; “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!

I will say this again; Time is precious and life is too short to spend the majority of it unhappy and full of resentment. Do not let others pull you into their unhappiness. Instead place your focus and trust upon the LORD. HE wants you to be strong, healthy & happy. Life will always present its challenges. Invite God into the messiness of every area of your life and allow Him to help you become “more than a conqueror.” Why? Only, “He can give you His Peace that surpasses the understanding of man.” This is also why we all so need Jesus Christ as Savior & Lord! “He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly” in every way!

You can recover from resentment. Let go of that load and yoke up with the Lord. He can balance and lift your load. You have to trust God enough to let Him replace that void. So commence to take those bricks of resentment off your back and begin today building a better future taking control of your emotions. You can not make someone else choose happiness. You cannot make them be loyal or committed to you or to the Lord. But you can commit yourself to the Lord! You can build your hope and trust upon the Most High God! I assure you that you will become a lot happier!

Now since you “get it!” Get busy nurturing yourself and start moving forward to wholeness today because tomorrow is not promised. With the Lord by your side;”Be as wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove” Matthew 10. Keep moving forward towards wholeness helps you release what has been and make way for what will be. Keep stepping towards growing and maturing beyond resentment! Allow God His place within your life so His spiritual fruit can begin to internally ripen within your inner being. The Fruit of His Spirit is; “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” See Galatians 5. Forgive your self, let go of the pain and move forward. As you choose the path of freedom and wholeness you can begin to enjoy life leaving the resentment behind! God has a plan for you and He does not want you bogged down in resentment. Now that you “get it” let go and really let God!”

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 3

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 3

The Word of God teaches us that “We are more than conquerors” When we conquer something we master it! We become better because of it, rather than letting it overtake us. The Word is “Alive & Powerful!” It is a mighty spiritual weapon that cuts and yields healing! It is effective when we believe it, embrace the intended principles and actually implement it within our daily lives. As we trust God the fear of whatever it is, diminishes and there goes the resentment. You can at times even smile at well learned life lesson. We are then able to begin to step out on Faith and trust God to lead us through whatever it may be differently.

How will I know that I have given up the resentment?

You will realize that you have been delivered from the resentment once you do not let it unfavorably trigger your emotions.

You no longer hold unto it like a useless security blanket that is full of holes.

You now elect to respond or not respond by instead embracing self-control.

You do not let the situation or incident dictate your feelings.

You do not allow it to trigger your emotions by remote.

You do not allow your pride to take the forefront and govern your actions. Nor do you reach for something outside of you to numb and dull your senses.

You are now committed to moving forward. Once you have genuinely let the resentment go you accept that you have constructively confronted the issue(s) head on. It is no longer acceptable to once again allow yourself to be pulled into despair.

One must commit to take the higher road and focus upon the Lord by; Shaking yourself loose & put yourself in check!

God has no grandchildren. He is the ultimate Father that always knows what is best for us. He is the Most High God. So at whatever age you may be, know that you will always need to be willing to humble yourself and submit to His Will & His Way! We submit as an obedient child does to an honorable parent but we are not to be childish. We daily strive to growing onward towards spiritual maturity. Healthy boundaries are important. You should begin reprogramming your mind to reach to God first. We must be willing to eat more “humble pie” as we embrace humility which is a part of the Fruit of His Spirit.

We can better build stronger benevolent character within ourselves as we submit to God’s way and relinquish our own way. This is a lifelong process. It is evil and sinful to think that we know better than God. Sin is what separates us from God. There is no true inner peace apart from God. We are totally transparent to God. He knows us all from the inside out. The goal is to seek to please the Lord every day. I assure you that you will be a lot happier!

See Part 4

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 2

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!


Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 2

Resentment leaves an endless void that one attempts to fill with things that are usually unhealthy for them. You avoid confronting what is bothering you. There is a way out of this.

Marriage is the perfect place to learn properly how to deal with resentment. You two are supposed to be life partners. Like it or not you vowed to help one another become the best that each of you can be? Or were those just words? However each spouse must be willing to take responsibility for their part!

You cannot change what has happened but you can begin to learn how to “let go” of any resentment. Letting go does not mean that you continue to allow the action(s) to occur again. It means that you make a conscious effort to make some behavior changes. Insanity is; “dong the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

Many marriages suffer because resentment is what binds the husband and wife together. Life has become a tally board of how many times they have hurt one another or allowed others to hurt them. Instead of becoming transparent and drawing closer to one another. They all too often run to their friends and seek their support rather than seeking to resolve the problem within their marriage.

There is nothing wrong with talking with your friends, relatives or having a support group. There is nothing wrong with having a therapist, counselor, life coach or any other professional service. Be sure that you are honest if you want favorable results. Just make sure that you do not relay the incident in a way that you are supported when or if you are in the wrong. This will not really help you, your family, friends nor your marriage. This does not mean that the experience was not painful or wrong! You instead seek to become empowered by the incident once you commit to resolve the related unresolved anger. Why? Because you want to be free from it. Or do you really? This means that you will have to allow the pain to dissipate that is associated with what has transpired. But it must first be allowed to come to the Light so you can properly deal with it.

You will have to build a bridge of emotional stability across it to not let it hold you captive any longer. It does not mean that you have to forget. It means that you will have to confront yourself and how you have allowed whatever it is to remain unresolved.

See part 3

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 1

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!


Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 1

Resentment can kill or deteriorate any marriage, home, family or relationship if it is not properly dealt with. Resentment means you feel over and over the pain or distaste associated with an act or deed that has been made against you.

Don’t let others continue to disrespect you or undermine who you are becoming in the Lord. Especially when they have showed you over and over who they are. I say “becoming” because we never arrive; there is always room for improvement as long as the Lord has us on this side of Heaven. Pray for discernment. We actually do arrive; when we reach Heaven!

Avoiding conflict or not confronting how you feel and just stowing it away causes resentment to grow and fester. It is healthier to validate your feelings. Resentment hurts you more than it hurts the person you are resenting!

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines resentment as such: “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.” You can feel resentment towards a spouse, parent, child, relative, friend, neighbor, boss, coworker, person of the clergy, abuser or even a stranger. Life is precious. It is far better to readily discuss the matter at hand candidly and respectfully.

Many wait too long and allow the clarity of the facts to diminish. Often the truth is totally distorted an misconstrued. Just know if you do not address the associated issue, resentment will keep you fixated upon a momentary encounter for years. It will rob you from moving forward when a lot of the time the person has no clue that you are stuck in an abyss of not liking what was said, done or transferred upon your soul.

You really can become whole! THANK GOD FOR JESUS!

Always seek to build your character in the eyes of GOD. It is HIS opinion of you that matters most. As you grow in the Lord; Fear no one and walk in meekness. Above the Lord is no other. Truly GOD IS OMNIPRESENT

Do not let resentment become the theme of your life, marriage or relationship! Letting go of resentment does not mean that you forget what has happened. Many are quick to say “forgive & forget.” Forgiving does not mean that you should forget. Some things you do not want to forget you want to remember in order to prevent them from happening again. You do however want to work through the hurt or pain associated with it so it therefore no longer holds you captive. Today many seek to relive over and over their issues and often seek out others to further enable them. You really should want to file it away in a healthy manner so that it no longer becomes a trigger for anger nor does it negatively impact your life.

Healing is welcomed because you really do want to become whole!

See part 2

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How Do I Love Thee: Food For Thought Before You Say I DO – Goodreads Book Giveaway

How Compatible are We? Ready for Intimacy? Commitment? The Marriage Bed? In-laws or Out-laws?

Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage. They have not taken the time to have candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. Planning your wedding is important, but so is planning your marriage.

How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage.

Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple which are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.

Enter the Goodreads Book Giveaway below for a chance to win a FREE autographed copy.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

How Do I Love Thee by DeBorrah K. Ogans

How Do I Love Thee

by DeBorrah K. Ogans

Giveaway ends February 10, 2016.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 2 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9

No. 2 of 3

Marriage is a spiritual battle ground in this 21st century. Look around you! Division wants to nest itself within your marriage; so be aware! Have you noticed the frequency in which couples are divorcing? Why is this? Many enter into marriage without first really getting to know this person who they have promised to love and cherish.

Take the time to get to know one another better rather than to simply co exist. For your marriage to endure it is important to build a strong foundation.

Self-control is a viable component of a strong healthy marriage! There are many forces at works to create havoc within your marriage. One must pray for discernment! It is important that you make your marriage and one another’s wellbeing a priority. Self-control when consistently exercised will help both of you enhance and safeguard your marriage.

Marriage is serious business and is not for immature people. Immaturity is ageless so just because you are getting older does not necessarily mean that you are ready. There are some things you need to consider. Selfishness and either spouse being self-centered will hinder your marriage from growing in a healthy manner.

Marriage ideally is for two imperfect people who desire to mature and want to grow together and become better individuals working together as a committed team. Oneness in marriage is actually a harmonic journey. Marriage should not be taken lightly. In the spiritual sense “two become one” as they are united and committed in their desire to grow in love. True Love has no end.

Always remember that the WORD teaches us; “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” Matthew 5. Each spouse should seek to become perfect in the Lord. This is not an unattainable goal. It requires dedication and perseverance. However it is quite often misunderstood from a carnal perspective. Becoming perfect in the Lord means to become complete in HIM. Everything that you will ever need for Life & Living can be discovered in an ever growing personal relationship with the Lord. He would not tell us to be perfect if it were not so. In of ourselves we will always fall short. HIS Holy Spirit is always present to HELP US. As you begin to really embrace the TRUTH of HIS WORD you can responsively say; “I CAN DO ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME” Philippians 4. It is our choice to reach for HIS HOLY HELP!

In marriage you learn to give up “me ness for we ness!”

Self-control helps you to honor your marriage vows. You choose to not let the world and it’s ever changing morality influence your commitment to one another. Instead together you elect to influence the world. You confront issues in love. It is important to not let resentment fester. You embrace your vows and commence to live out your lives working together through any difficulties. Your love blossoms and continuously grows as you soar through life and enjoy the many mountaintop experiences as well.

The Fruit of the Spirit are essential virtues that have intrinsic worth that will solidify your marriage. “GOD IS LOVE” Love is part of the Fruit of HIS Spirit. LOVE is truly a priceless GIFT from the LORD. When you both strive to build a healthy living environment that welcomes love, harmony; trust and respect together you really can build a fulfilling, satisfying strong marriage.

A godly marriage is Holy Matrimony.

Part 9
No. 3 0f 3

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self- Control” Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9 No. 3

Trust and good communication are crucial values within a great marriage. Transparency and intimacy are built upon trust. It is really important to not rush into making any decisions that will impact the rest of your life. Take time and first consider the consequences! There is always much to learn about one another. Keep your marriage exciting. Progressively work on building good communication skills. You can maintain the spark that brought you together. Or if you have allowed it to dwindle you can rekindle it.

Here are few final things to keep in mind

Make it a point to have some good healthy quality discussions before you jump heart first into marriage. If you are already married take the time to find out how your spouse feels, thinks and processes their thoughts and emotions. Please don’t just assume. Feelings need to be validated.

Have some deep heartfelt discussions. You need to really know what one another values.

You are two different individuals who must learn to walk together. It is possible but it takes commitment and transparency. Emotional intimacy is important in marriage.

Each marriage has its own unique dynamics. Here are a few suggestions questions to ponder and discuss!

What are your likes and dislikes? How do feel about children? What are your beliefs in regards to discipline? How do you feel about the manner in why you both handle discipline? How do you both resolve conflict? Who or what do they believe in? How do they feel about God and prayer? What are your spouses moral standards or convictions or do they have any at all… Is faithfulness important? What does it really mean to be faithful? Are there any abuse issues that need to be addressed? Are there any addictions? Is divorce an option? These are a few of the many things you want to discuss and ponder in order to build a better marriage!

When you both share values and goals it helps to build a healthy emotional bond. This also accelerates your marriage to higher functioning level.

The growing trend today is to simply just change partners when you are not happy. Infidelity is a big No no. It is possible but few marriages recover. Trust has been broken and it must be restored or this will become a pattern. As an adult you have the right to decide, but you always should consider the long and short term consequences. Divorce is inevitable when not fully addressed.

I recommend taking some time to rid yourself of some of the baggage that you have been carrying before jumping into another marriage. All too often it is just pushed to the side only to rise and cause even greater problems the second or even third time around. If you are already married work with what you have. Take inventory and then set some goals together. It’s important to make plans together. Your marriage won’t just work itself out. The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. The TRUTH is its green because they water it consistently and take care of it. Your marriage will be what you both make it.

Now is the time to begin to exercise self-control as well as all the rest of the “Fruit of the Spirit.” After all you have made a Covenant with one another and to God… This makes your marriage a Holy agreement. Therefore seek quality Holy Help whenever necessary.

Happiness is a choice, so you both need to decide to make this a mutual goal. There will be highs and lows. So always make love deposits of care, concern, love, respect, romance and thoughtfulness to your marriage. This will help you weather the storms. You cannot change one another. But you can create a healthy atmosphere that fosters change. There is always room for improvement in all of us. You can help bring out the better qualities in one another. Or you can bring out the worst in one another. Take note of your personal progress. Work on becoming the “Best You” Your marriage should always be a priority. Working together will have amazing results!

Exercising self-control is a choice. Rather than tearing one another down all the time build one another up! Chastise one another in love instead to encourage self improvement. Withdraw from nagging. Have some good healthy dialogue and let what has hindered your marriage to this point go and move forward as partners. No you do not go forward in denial. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. It means that you have decided to let whatever it is go, and move forward not holding the offense against them. The past becomes a reminder of your decision to let go and move on. You make a point to consciously let go of the old and make way for the new. Each day now becomes a new day for building a better marriage. Welcome embracing all the “Fruit of the Spirit” everyday. I assure you that in the long run, you will be much happier. You can do it; because happiness is a choice!

By the way, if you are divorced, in the process of a divorce married or remarried try really hard to not involve the children in your disputes. Please don’t use them as message carriers. It is selfish to use them for your emotional support. After all, your first priority should be for their emotional wellbeing. The truth is you two were not able to resolve your conflicts. Children are more observant than you think. You have been in an emotional battle and it has spawned some residual hurt feelings. Their resentment will surface in many ways. Give your children the opportunity to express themselves. But it is important that they are encouraged to be responsible and respectful. Model to them the “Fruit of the Spirit” as you all move forward yet separately.

Marriage God’s way can work. But you both must be willing to mutually embrace godly principles and actually implement them within your marriage. So get busy building a marriage that lasts. May Holy Matrimony Prevail!

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control…” Galatians 5. May they manifest, multiply and abound within your marriage!

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 1 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass
Part 9
No. 1 of 3

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness need to be accompanied with self-control. All of the above are components of the “Fruit of the Spirit” that manifests within us as we truly embrace God within our lives. As we consistently spend time in the Word of God and begin to actually implement His principles we grow spiritually. There are major benefits when you both embrace and employ them within your marriage.

We have finally made it to self- control! Although it is the last one listed it is a top priority. There are 9 components to the Fruit of the Spirit. Part 9 of this miniseries will conclude in 3 parts so bear with me and read on. Your comments are welcomed!

When you married or whenever you decide to marry it is important to know that marriage is a Covenant Agreement. You made or will make a solemn vow to love your spouse. True love lasts forever! Love is a crucial essential element of a good marriage. It is important to know how your spouse defines and interprets love!

Search the scriptures assiduously to arrive at a better understanding of what love really is. True love continues to grow and flourish. Self-control is a component of love. Love will help you weather the storms of life. It enables you to rise to the peaks and go through the tempestuous valley experiences that often occur, when building a strong, intimate, healthy, satisfying marriage that endures the tests of time.

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit will build a good healthy strong marriage.

Self-Control is so very important! It will help you in every area of your life! Self-control allows you to be controlled from within rather than by any sort of outer, physical, mental, or emotional remote control. You simply don’t just automatically react to anything or anyone and let it trigger an impulsive response. Instead you choose to respond in a responsible manner. Or whenever you do react impulsively you are willing to admit that you were at fault. This is exercising self-control.

Remember practice makes permanent!

Wow! We have finally reached the finale in our quest to encourage you to embrace the “Fruit of the Spirit” within your marriage. The more you practice self-control the better you become at exercising it personally.

Self-control defined is: “the ability to exercise restraint over one’s feelings reactions etc. The act of denying yourself and controlling your impulses.” Keep this definition in mind as we continue on.
Part 9
No. 2 of 3

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