SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5


Part 5

You Can Build A Loving Satisfying Marriage

Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages.

Abuse, mistreatment, low self esteem and cruel continuing self punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with self defeating shame you have been left with a cloud hanging over you. This is NOT God’s destiny for you. God does not want you to have an unhappy marriage. Nor does He want you to have ongoing difficult relationships. Remember; GOD WILL; “supply all your needs according to HIS riches in CHRIST JESUS!” As simple as it sounds, You must start believing HIS WORD. For HIS WORD is “quick & powerful!” Which means it is ALIVE!

 

Now for some interim therapy; Get yourself a pillow, turn on some good Gospel Music and have yourself a good cry. Empty out some of that pain that continues to weigh you down. God knows exactly where you are. You are not alone in this. Allow the Lord to shower you with His Holy Spirit. Accept HIS marvelous Grace and allow HIS mercy to over shadow you. Start anew allowing His Holy Spirit within your inner being.

 

 

Don’t have an ongoing pity party that keeps you fixated on what has been. Use the pain, suffering and hurt to rebuild and or strengthen your character. Let this motivate you to change.  Recovery implies you are seeking to regain or replace what has been lost. Embrace godly principles to better guard your heart and accept the cleansing power of His Holy Spirit to make you His “New Creation.” God’s Word is so important. It is  not to just read but to actually bring forth healing & restoration.

 

GOD IS GOOD!!! GOD IS THE ULTIMATE HEALER!!!

 

Thank God for HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER! Yes, there is hope for you and your marriage or future marriage. In the Lord you can find comfort. Make it your goal to seek and discover how to Love God and yourself more.

 

What God meant to be such a beautiful loving, emotional, physical expressive bonding experience between a husband and wife has become so terribly misunderstood.  Having intercourse is not a time to simply use your spouse.  It is a time to come together as one in a mutual safe satisfying way. Yes, this can be done in a honorable  way.  God does not sanction any and everything. You can be creative  have fun and remain respectful. Don’t think for a moment that He is not aware of what is happening everywhere…

 

 

There is a viable remedy. Each couple is different and needs to be sensitive to one another.  Sex is just part of a building a good healthy marriage. It is and enhancement that binds you together.  But it is not what keeps you together…   As husband and wife you must or should  work together harmoniously in all aspects of life.  You can build a healthy loving satisfying, caring understanding  marriage together.  You know why? Because God says so. Things are not always as they appear. Nor is this  a time for eye witnesses. 

 

 

The marriage bed in the eyes of God is undefiled.   How few or frequently is the time you come together  is up to you.  There are also times when you will want to abstain  for spiritual purposes.  Our bodies are unique.  You can remain a virtuous woman at all times… So always keep this in mind. Your marriage intimate love making is uniquely designed for you and by you as you come together as one.  At times it is simply a time of expressing “Oneness” or merely closeness.  Study the human anatomy as well if necessary.  Working together to achieve mutual satisfaction without shame is a healthy aspect of a good marriage. It is important to communicate with one another.  There is often unspoken communication, good healthy communication  is not always verbal.  Be in tune  to one another. 

 

 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt not shame.” Genesis 2  God created the first  woman for Adam.  Adam was all alone.  He caused Adam to go into a deep sleep.  The  woman was then made from his rib bone to be at his side. She was created to be His Helpmeet.   Woman came from man.  God brought her to Adam and they both were naked and not ashamed. They were both created as one in Adam. It was not until after they sinned was the woman  even named.   Notice that it was Adam who actually later named her Eve.  Marriage is God’s first institution! 

 

Do not intrude on the privacy of someone’s marriage. Marriage in the eyes of GOD is sacred!

 

It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem.   Or sex is dirty.  This should not be. You can talk about sex respectfully like any other subject.  It is important to talk to your children as well about sex yet in an  age appropriate manner.  They should know these days that some places are strictly for elimination of  digested food.   They should know that they can talk to you as their parents about anything…  Your children should always feel safe in your presence even when you correct them. By the way child abuse of any kind is a definite NO NO! Any form of Human Trafficking is an abomination to the LORD!  It is not the talking about sex that is the problem.  You should make them well aware about what God has to say about a husband  and wife coming together…  Many have been given erroneous information that has hindered them more than it has helped…  It is when people misuse or abuse sex  outside the confines of marriage that actually brings much confusion.  

 

Perils of Adultery

Adultery has serious consequences. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their very own thoughts!   Many at one time were killed by stoning  for adultery. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter who leads us to all TRUTH! God is not a God of darkness.  Absolutely everything is transparent to Him! There is nothing new under the sun. Please take some time to ponder,  read and meditate on  this passage  of scripture and allow God’s Light to illuminate your mind;

 

My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 

For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.

 

It is important to keep in mind that we are all different. But the principles for life and living for us all given by GOD in HIS WORD are very beneficial to all of us. Your marriage will be whatever you make it! Your relationships will be whatever you make them. Be selective as to whom you allow to speak into your life… Readily reject anything that is not of God!  God has given us in HIS WORD guidelines to help us in every area of our lives. It is your choice to know HIS WORD for yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pull you away from what you know to be right.

 

The world says do whatever feels good and follow the majority.   Your are under GRACE! “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts therefore.  Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto GOD, as those that  are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto GOD …” Romans 6

 

Jesus Christ did not die for us to be slaves to sin. He wants to be a part of every area of our lives. HE never ever sinned.  “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of GOD…”  Romans 3.  CHRIST JESUS overcame sin in the flesh for us. He fulfilled the law which was a mere schoolmaster… This is why we ALL need HIM as SAVIOR & LORD! As you begin to embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD you can discover a “Marvelous Freedom” that yields much discipline as well as  inner peace.  Freedom does not mean that you do as you please when and how you please. Nor does Godly Freedom mean that you become legalistic. You rather seek a balance in all that you do. Your desire to live to please the Lord  will continue to grow as you seek Him. This type of Freedom helps you to yield to the principles of HIS WORD and you become increasingly disciplined and able to exercise self-control! You are not so easily led astray… The Fruit of God’s Spirit continually develops, manifests and multiplies within your daily life and also within your marriage.

 

You daily seek  or should seek to be led daily by HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER!

 

 

Jesus came for us to live differently. He wants us to be different from the world. The world at large will not get better. He does not want you to be anybody’s puppet or robot. He wants to help each of us/ you to  become the “Best You” led by His Holy Spirit. He will never lead us to do anything that goes against HIS WORD!  Know that many of the ways of this  world have entered amidst God’s Church.   BEWARE! “For THE WHEAT and the tares are growing together…”   

 

“GOD IS LOVE” There is nothing, no thing, nor place,  or anyone greater than GOD!  Know that we the people are GOD’S CHURCH! In HIM you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life, Love, Daily Living & ETERNAL LIFE!  In order for this to be so;  we must, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and everything else will be added unto you…” Matthew 6

 

Know who you belong to

We serve an Omniscient God. As a believer know that your body is the Temple of GOD! This is what HIS WORD teaches us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” I Corinthians 6   Be conscious of how much food  you do or do not put into  your body as well.  Become more conscious of healthier ways to nourish your body.  Be conscious of how you take care of it and what you do to it or what you place in it and where as well. Take care of your Temple.   Exercise self control and moderation.  As you age do so gracefully. Time is precious…  This is one of many reasons why it is important to take time to daily draw closer to the LORD!  Self-control is a by product of The Fruit of His Spirit. I assure you that it is only in HIM that you can discover true “Security & Significance. ”  

 

 

It is important to spend time with the LORD in HIS WORD! This way you can better understand when something or someone says or does is from the LORD or not from the LORD!  Holy Matrimony is God’s only  design for Marriage!  Know God and His Word for yourself… For His Word is “A LAMP unto our feet and A LIGHT  unto our path…”  Pray for increased discernment. 

 

Sharing & Caring!

“Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world!” As you submit to the Lord He will or can HELP you in every area of your life. God is greater than any problem that you will ever encounter. God wants to build Christian Character within us daily. He wants us to daily walk in the Light of HIS WORD!  GOD has magnificent miraculous healing power! By His Grace we can be made whole! 

 

Faithfulness, Grace, Joy, Laughter, Love & Peace comes from the LORD!  We can always and forever trust God and His Word! “…But when the kindness and LOVE of GOD our SAVIOR appeared. HE SAVED us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the HOLY SPIRIT, whom HE POURED OUT GENEROUSLY through JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR, so that, having been JUSTIFIED BY  HIS GRACE, we might BECOME HEIRS having the HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE. This is a TRUSTWORTHY saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who trusted in GOD may be careful to DEVOTE THEMSELVES TO DOING GOOD. These things are EXCELLENT & PROFITABLE for EVERYONE…” Titus 3

 

TRUST GOD AND DAILY EMBRACE & APPLY HIS WORD TO YOUR LIFE.  ABOVE ALL OTHERS TRUST GOD, FOR HE CAN HEAL  EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE!  BE BLESSED IN THE LORD!  LIVE EVERYDAY: “TO GOD BE THE GLORY!”

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PORNography Is Growing Within The Christian Community

Pornography is one of the most prevalent social problems we are facing today. There is a great concern in regards to the rate pornography is growing within the Christian Community. It is happening from the pulpit to the pew. The number of individuals and families that have been directly or indirectly impacted is rapidly growing. The issue continues to snowball because to some degree, on many levels it is initially accepted. In some instances it is considered to be a passing fad or on the other hand it is simply ignored. Pornography is dangerous and erodes the moral fiber of one’s character. If you know someone who is involved in pornography please don’t wait, encourage them to get help now! Since it is so readily accessible it can overtake and often consume the life of those who partake in it. Pornography is really quite selfish. It can impair and shatter the life and self esteem of the addict’s spouse and robs the relationship of trust, loyalty, significance and security. It also can cause a carnal spirit to hover over the household which invites much spiritual warfare.

The internet has a plethora of pornographic sites that are launched every day. The images seduce the captive audience of one or more into an underground world of self-indulgent decadence. Seeking fulfillment in strip clubs, compulsive eating and or cyber club. There is much research available to substantiate that it is a growing addiction phenomenon for many. Here are some questions to ask or think about. If you can answer yes to any of these you need to really get help.
1.Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those who are important to you? Do you lead a double life?

2.Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?

3.Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, internet or other media?

4.Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?

5.Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?

6.Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality?

7.Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?

8.Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?

9.Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?

10.Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?

11.Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless?

12.Are you unable to properly relate to your spouse and there is a physical void in the relationship?

Recently in the news it was announced that we have many teens who are now starting to do what is called “SEXTEXTING.” For too long the subjects of adultery, fornication, immorality, infidelity, incest, same sex relationships, sex outside of marriage….. have merely slid under the Christian radar. This is getting to be a little frightening. This should send us all a clear warning! The porn addict spends endless hours absorbing images of an unrealistic unattainable idealistic fantasy via the internet or videos. It is a billion dollar industry. Unknowingly these images have become their little god. Which really is a form of idolatry. It impacts not only the addict but the family as well just like any other addiction. There are many deeper unresolved issues here. Quite often something that happened in childhood has resurfaced in the addicts mind. The emotional pain has fermented and pornography becomes a destructive outlet. Dealing with someone who has an addictive personality can be overwhelming and or quite devastating. You are really often dealing with an out of control child encased in an adult body. They want what they want, when they want it. It is difficult for them to delay self gratification. They will do whatever it takes to satisfy their insatiable desire. It is often difficult for them to see that they are so unreasonably demanding and controlling. An intervention is constructive, warranted and often necessary in order to begin the path to recovery.

Talking about sexual issues openly will help dispel a lot of the rumors, myths and inappropriate behavior that has gone on and on… Education is key. No one really often wants to really come out and discuss or say; what God has to say, for fear of being perceived as too religious or judgmental. If you are a believer, one surely knows that absolutely nothing happens anywhere or at anytime that God is not aware of. For example let’s look at I Samuel 1. Eli who was a priest had two sons Hophni & Phinehas whose behaviors were simply outright outrageous. They were disobedient, humiliated and slept with the women who came to the Tabernacle for help. The Bible says they were wicked, “corrupt sons who did not know the Lord.” They were warned as to what would happen. They twisted their privileges in order to satisfy their flesh. Eli did not discipline his sons properly. When he tried to correct them they totally disrespected him. They displayed that same disrespect towards God… They had established a pattern of sexual abuse that needed to be broken. But look, on the other hand Hannah had dedicated her first born son Samuel to the Lord! Samuel came up in the very same household along with Eli’s sons. Hannah had brought him to Eli to be his spiritual mentor. Samuel at a very young age ministered before the Lord and grew spiritually. Despite what was going on about Samuel, the Lord intervened and he grew in “stature, and in favor both with the Lord and men.” (For more details of this narrative read I Samuel 1-3) What a contrast.

If you want to break a cycle of abuse, dysfunction or addiction, you have to do something differently rather than what you are already doing. If your “helping is not helping then you are not helping.” Addiction needs to be replaced with a healthy productive activity. It is important that we help subsequent generations not to fall prey to these destructive behaviors. DON’T continue to sweep things under the rug. If you have a problem deal with it! The enemy always tries to subvert and corrupt what God intends. Know that the enemy wants to destroy your testimony and weaken your effectiveness for the LORD!

Absolutely nothing gets by God!

Sexual sin is not a new problem. There is power in the blood of Jesus! Please really begin to ask and seek the Lord’s direction “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” All of God’s Word is true! Less seminars, workshops, programs and more practical application of God’s Word implemented within our daily lives. All too often when issues arise God’s way for resolve is totally disregarded. Less excuses such as “Nobody’s perfect.” Yes, this is a truism; but God tells us to continue to strive for His perfection! Perfection according to Webster means: 1: the quality or state of being perfect: as a: freedom from fault or defect : flawlessness b:maturity c: the quality or state of being saintly 2 a: an exemplification of supreme excellence b: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence 3: the act or process of perfecting. God’s perfection brings wholeness! In Him we can become complete! God would not tell us to do something if it were not possible. To be a Christian means to commit to live in the WAY that pleases God!

God really is able! Marriage and the family were created by God from the very beginning. It was originally designed so that He would be the central theme of our existence. Since He created us He really does know what is best. He gave us healthy boundaries so we could learn discipline. So remember what He says in Jude: “But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the men who will divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit…

God intended that your physical sexual needs were to be met within the confines of the “undefiled marriage bed.” Otherwise it is like “fire outside of the fireplace.” God loves you so much that He allows you the freedom to choose. It is evident that many choose to do “their own thing.” But, are the consequences really worth it? Think about it! Everywhere you are He is, everything you do or have done, He knows! There is a very significant security available to you when you choose to make His will and WAY your primary concern! Repentance is possible but first one must recognize that there is sin. Sin is missing the mark. Acknowledge any sin in your life! Take some time to get refocused. A conscious that is sensitive to God is precious. You can be set free from any addiction! God has called us to live differently. He has given us healthy boundaries in order to properly satisfy any personal needs which can be experienced within the sanctity of marriage regardless of how young or old you are! He can and WILL fill that void!

God always has a better way but too often the ways of the world have taken His place. Healing and restoration are possible. Set some time aside and be honest with yourself! Stop giving away parts of yourself! Take some time for a spiritual cleansing. Seeking Him through His Word one really can find rest and peace for the wearied soul. God has left us a marvelous wealth of knowledge and examples within His Word to help us to avoid the pitfalls and consequences of partaking in fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. Read the writings of the Song of Solomon its beauty and honesty shows a balanced contrast to the sexual perversions of this age. Begin being consistently accountable to someone for your actions and developing self control which is part of the Fruit of His Spirit. Someone who has healthy boundaries and knows the importance of not walking in the flesh but walking in the Spirit! Prayer and fasting are valuable tools. You can rededicate your life to sexual purity. You really and truly can experience a growing healthy attainable self esteem as a result of walking closer to the Lord.

I realize that this subject will not win a popularity contest. It may even cause a few jaws to drop. But at this point I have come to the conclusion that it is much more important “what GOD knows rather than what people think.” This is NOT about arrogance but about being confident in the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD! Especially when you know that He knows there is “no secret agenda.” My intentions are to shed Light where the darkness continues to keep the people of God and those in the world trapped in its snare. Sex outside of marriage has gotten out of control! Christ lived a sinless life to overcome sin in the flesh for ALL of us! He died a painful death on the cross for us so we could live differently. Too many are more concerned about protocol rather than who to call. GOD TRULY IS ABLE! Help Me Lift His Holy Name! To God Be The Glory!


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SEXual Problems For The Christians

In a recent Christian Counseling quarterly publication I receive every single article discussed sexual problems. This really confirmed that the problems of this nature are definitely prevalent within the Christian Community. Many shy away from discussing issues that are of a sexual nature. It is quite evident that a plethora of the problems we are experiencing are rooted in improper sexual misconduct.

The Bible has a lot to say about sexual relationships. One of the main problems is that sex is more often than not practiced outside of the sanctity of marriage. God has said it is only within the marriage bed that sex is “undefiled.” Many have indulged in adultery and homosexuality and defiled the marriage bed.

It is of no secret that time after time we see many men and women who fall prey to the pitfalls of sexual misconduct. Not fully realizing that sex outside of marriage is like “fire outside of the fireplace.” It’s dangerous! It will burn your house down! You are setting your self up for disappointment. You see sex outside the confines of marriage simply means; I am not fully committed to you. I need to be with you to see if we are physically compatible. I’ve been hurt before so I don’t really want to get too serious. Or my spouse and I don’t have a satisfying relationship so I’m really glad you are there for me. Or “I need you baby” if you love me you will do this for me? There are so many more scenarios as well… Of course you have not uttered this in words. In the above cases your actions speak louder than words. Many simply do not really know what marriage is all about!

I receive many questions in regards to sexual problems. Many are trapped because they have no where to turn. Many women just don’t want to be alone so they offer themselves sexually, yet are physically unsatisfied. Many have been conditioned ignorantly to use sex as a tool to manipulate. Women who are used for sexual purposes are often thought of as mere objects. Many have been sexually abused causing them to feel low self worth. Many have been taught that sex is no big deal. Everybody has sex and it does not matter if you are married or not. Especially if you are past a certain age or you have already been married. Or if you are not having sex something is wrong with you. You are not normal. But that is not the Christian perspective! You see God gives specific directions. The Bible says “for this cause shall a man leave His Father and Mother and cleave to His wife and they shall become one flesh.”

Sex outside the confines of marriage is dangerous emotionally. Why? It sets you up for possible problems that may not be apparent until much later? This is regardless of how young or old you may be…There is a deeper meaning to sex than the physical exchange. A bonding takes place. There is a magnetic chemical exchange. Within the confines of marriage a miraculous spiritual transaction is taking place! Did you know that scripture tells us “whatever you join yourself to becomes a part of you?” Deep down you must know and feel that something is wrong, but you just can’t put your finger on it. It also shows a lack of discipline. Some people just don’t practice good moral boundaries. They will sleep with anybody! Married or not married! Others have been erroneously taught that it really does not matter. If it feels right we are not hurting anybody! From a Biblical standpoint just know you are outside the will of God! Anytime you choose to operate outside of God’s boundaries you can expect some trouble.

Think about this for a moment. Did you know that if no one practiced sex outside of marriage there would be no one to cheat with? Fewer broken homes! Fewer STD’s! Fewer Abortions! Fewer marriages ending in divorces where people are unable to reconcile their differences! It’s hard to imagine! God has given us His Word to protect us! He has even told us that there is “no temptation common to man that He has not prepared a way of escape.”

A committed married monogamous relationship is the only way that God honors a sexual relationship! He has provided and ordained marriage. You see God has designed marriage as the only proper way a man and woman can fulfill their natural sexual desires. He is not the designer of any other method. If you have been taught or thought otherwise you are fooled. I don’t care what Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, Friend, Doctor or Foe has said there are consequences! You see it is time out for living in the dark. Especially if you have confessed to be a Christian! It is time to stand up and speak out for what God has said is right.

Let’s HELP this next generation; these teenagers of this 21st century “where anything goes” and begin giving them better morale role models! Let’s open up the lines of communication so they can validate their feelings! Give them a phone and tell them “to call you anytime they NEED you” Let’s HELP them so they do not feel that they have to give parts of themselves away in order to be accepted! Give them more “hugs” less criticism and more compassion and understanding. Less bickering and fighting and more constructive ways to resolve conflict! Just think if it is hard for adults it is even harder for teenagers…

When I went to seminary I was somewhat disappointed, but not surprised that the same problems existed. I learned that sexual misconduct is practiced on many levels. It did not matter that my views were misconstrued as prudish because I know better! Good boundaries should be exercised when you know someone is weak in certain areas. Many Christians have been side tracked by indulging in sexual sin. The Spirit of God is quenched when you operate in a carnal mode. Many operate by using a spirit of seducement which is not of GOD! Remember this is a Spiritual battle. Many honestly don’t realize how they water down the effectiveness of their testimony.

I have seen that people are a lot more interested in talking about people who have a problem with material possessions. Usually the one who really has the problem is fixated on what someone else has. How big their house is or what kind of vehicle they drive? Or how often they travel here or there? It was not Solomon’s material possessions that got him in trouble. It was His sex life! How he ever managed 300 wives and 700 concubines is news to me. Well you see in actuality he didn’t; it is what really destroyed him. In Ecclesiastes 12:13 &14 Solomon says “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.” Sex is not something to play with, don’t be deceived by thinking other wise. The employment of improper sex in your life will ultimately lead to some type of dysfunction or some other problem.

I remember jokingly telling my husband years ago that we were going to be looked at, as “there goes that married heterosexual couple.” I am thankful to say God has blessed us with three decades of commitment. This is why I know that by His grace it is possible. We live in a time when 55- 60% of marriages are ending in divorce! This is why I understand that we live in difficult times. The spiritual warfare will do every thing it can to promote and construct distorted views of marriage as favorable. Many couples choose to live together. Many marry and don’t really know what they are getting into! Many marry and have mutual relationships outside of marriage.

Couples are pulled in many directions because of the pulls of sexual freedom. Just know it is a seducing spirit that wants to deceive you. Birth of illicit pleasure can often lead to death of a marriage. If you are married and you know something is not right, please take inventory. Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich! The problem won’t just go away. Don’t front it. Be more concerned about what God thinks! Find out what God has to say about marriage. Begin to take whatever steps are necessary to take back control of your life. Proverbs tells us that you cannot “take fire into your bosom and not be burned.” Earnestly repent and stop indulging in sinful behavior. Run quickly from anyone who comforts you in sexual sin! They will love you to death (which is not love at all) if you have been playing with fire please stop! You will actually feel a lot better when you get things right with God. Remember His blood can cleanse you from all unrighteousness! Just know God is a forgiving God!

Men and women vary in their priorities in the area of sexual needs. Men in general have intercourse higher on their lists of priorities. For instance it may be the number one preference for a man. It may be the second or fourth for the woman. Her first need may be affection. His second may be financial security. You see many often confuse their needs. Affection does not have to always end up in a sexual encounter.

When you properly practice sex within the confines of marriage you can experience true spiritual and sexual fulfillment in harmony. A proper sexual relationship is like “epoxy!” When the two adhesive components come together they form a permanent bond that technically should be very difficult to break. I use this illustration because it visually represents “what God has joined together let not man put asunder.” It is a healthy bond that few really understand. Love always protects it does not suffocate! Begin developing a relationship where you can mutually get your needs met. When you are truly fulfilled you will have no need or desire to indulge in extra marital affairs. You will also have great security knowing that you are honoring God in your relationship!

Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages. Abuse and cruel punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with shame! It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem. It is not the talking about sex that is the problem. It is when people misuse or abuse it outside the confines of marriage. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their thoughts! God is not a God of darkness. Read this passage and allow His Light to illuminate your mind;

“My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another’s man wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house. But a man who commits adultery lacks judgement; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.

Sex is a dangerous thing to play with. Did you know you actually give up your power? “SEX outside of marriage is what kryptonite is to Superman; it weaknes you!!! You are also operating outside the will of God! It is harder to say “no” than to give in. If you ever give in you must take responsibility for your actions. Abstinence is the proper birth control method that God honors! Repentance actually means to be remorseful for your actions to the extent you don’t repeat them! Proverbs tells us to “TRUST in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE WILL direct thy path ” Proverbs 3 When He says all thy ways He means just that!

God’s Word is our guide for proper successful living. He knows what is best for us! Just know that you are not alone! You can choose to do things God’s way or you can do things the world’s way. Just be ready for the consequences. God’s way gives you PEACE in the midst of a troubled world. Just know living God’s way comes with much persecution an mistreatment. But it’s worth every bit of it! ”THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!” Every time you choose God’s way you exercise and strengthen His Miraculous Spiritual Power in your life! We as Christians have an ethical and moral responsibility as His children. God says if you truly LOVE Him; YOU WILL KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS!


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Trapped In Addiction

When a person has an addiction it can be totally devastating. It not only affects the addict but anyone and everyone they come in contact with. They actually are an accident or a serious mishap waiting to happen. They irresponsibly put many others in danger at the risk of satisfying their own selfish desires. Their addiction often causes fear and insecurity to dominate the lives of their family and often friends as well. It often paralyzes them in a cesspool of co-dependency, inhibiting them from taking a lawful stand.

Intervention when properly initiated can be a catalyst for repentance in the addict. You see we don’t really like to confront problems. Many will talk around and about rather than confront the issue. This does not lead to resolving the problem. Look around addictions are at an all time high! There ia a tendency to take the ostrich approach, burying your heads in the sand. Guess what? The problem won’t just go away. We often think of love as not making someone feel bad. (Except when it comes to punishing children) But we must be careful not to unconsciously support any wrong behavior.

An addict is a devotee to whatever substance they are controlled by. They surrender their will and allow themselves to be habitually, obsessively controlled by the proclivity of their desire. Their addictive need is compulsive and they will do whatever is necessary to fulfill that need. Even if it means placing others in harms way.

Buried underneath the layers is really a diamond in the rough! How ironic? God can take their faithfulness to whatever their desire is (alcohol, drugs, food, sex, dirt(pica), etc.) and turn it to good. He can work it out! The process is really miraculous to watch. But it will never happen as long as you keep your head in the sand. God will not force His way. Remember their allegiance is just inappropriately designated.

Think about the impact on your physical health!

Do you know why it’s easy to abet them in their slow but sure death? They can appear so loving and talk about the life of the party! Who needs a party? They are a party all by themselves. They are under the influence and out of control. They can be so compliant and giving one moment. But right around the corner lives Mr. or Mrs. Tyrant… They become loud, verbally abusive and obnoxious and yes often physically abusive. They can abruptly without warning embrace the reigns of violent and destructive behavior like sugar to an ant. Talk about a roller coaster! Except this ride is not very amusing. Living on the edge is their theme. Danger lurks!

Think long and hard about what kind of message you are giving to this generation. What about the children? What image do you have of yourself? Take a good look in the mirror and see what you see looking back at You! Can you even remember what it is like to NOT be under the influence? You are missing the treasures of life. You may not realize it; but your heart is troubled, and your body is stressed. Your very health is at stake.

The addict has a distorted view of Love!

The deepest emptiness and a gulf of shame awaits the departure of each subsequent binge. You feel unloved and don’t really know how to love at this point. You really need a change not a distraction. But don’t be in total despair. PRAY! There is hope. You can change. You see God really does make the difference. Just know you can’t change them, they have to want change for themselves. But you can and should abandon providing them a security blanket in any form. PRAY! Begin to shift your focus to GOD. He’s the ultimate COMFORTER. HIS HOLY SPIRIT will direct your paths as you truly learn to TRUST HIM. Begin to develop your role as their faithful prayer intercessor.

The chronic addict/abuser allows distorted freedom to his love ones. Freedom to know you can’t depend on them for anything. Freedom to know that they care more about satisfying their addiction than they do for you! This erroneous freedom can cause you to take on their responsibilities. They need to feel and experience the consequences for their decisions. Oftentimes this can cause one to reach for situations and people they can dominate just as the addiction controls their life. This is where the children suffer most. They can see something is wrong! But instead of correcting yourself you try to correct them. GO figure! Since the addict has no backbone they have a false sense of their strength. Which is in fact zero. Face it this is an extreme weakness. You cannot control what you allow to go into your body or your mouth! To the other extreme, it causes them to look to someone who will stroke their insecurities. Make them feel good temporarily. They are unable to face themselves alone!

YOU REALLY NEED SOME HELP!
Tomorrow is NOT promised! You need to make whatever call is necessary to get you some HELP!

What a dysfunctional cycle! One can become enmeshed in a sea of burdens. But I’m glad there is a burden bearer. The scripture says: “take my yoke upon you and learn of me for my yoke is easy and my burdens are light”. Easier said than done huh! But it is really possible. Begin to transfer this burden to the Lord. Embrace the scriptures daily to spiritually equip you for spiritual warfare. Ephesians is a book that let’s the child of God know that you have been sealed and deliverance is at hand. The mighty weapons of God are not carnal. Yet; they are Mighty!

You cannot change anything that has happened. But you can change going forward. You can STOP being so selfish and think about those you are imposing your addiction upon. You are not the life of the party. You are actually draining the joy out of those around you and slowly killing yourself. You are actually dying little by little, moment by moment, day by day… You need to reach out for HELP NOW! Your life is not your own. You do not have a right to destroy your life or anyone else’s life! You have made some commitments that you need to keep. Don’t continue to overindulge yourself in a guilt trip. Don’t jump in the quicksand of denial as well. The noose of addiction can be broken.

You need to muster up some strength to fight for your life! If not for your sake for the one’s you say you love. You can be healed. You can be DELIVERED! You can become WHOLE! You can be set FREE! Jesus did not die in vain. He can resurrect any life. But it is your choice. He can peel away the layers of sin and wash you by the cleansing POWER of HIS BLOOD. It takes only a little light to dispel the darkness. We all have sinned and fallen short of His glory. Therefor there is always room to grow and improve. GOD CAN GIVE YOU HIS HOLY SPIRIT! You must first yield to Christ Jesus. He CAN & WILL HELP you overcome your addiction or anything else. This is why we ALL need JESUS as OUR LORD & SAVIOR. TO SAVE US FROM THE POWER OF SIN. Don’t waste another minute hour or day! Reach out to the Lord today. He can and will be there for you TWENTY/ FOUR / SEVEN. There is VICTORY IN CHRIST JESUS!

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Saved or Safe?


Just say you are saved. You don’t really have to mean it. If you just say it, this will be sufficient. We just say things all of the time. We go through the formality. “Good morning!” “Good evening!” “How are you?” Is it really a good morning or evening? Do you really want to know how the person is doing? We often adopt behaviors that appear to be socially accepted. But they are often quite superficial. No, I’m not saying that every time you see someone just give them an in-depth historical oration of your current list of woes. The point I’m trying to make is that just saying something doesn’t mean it’s so!

When we accept Christ as our personal Savior it means we invite Him into our lives. His presence of light shines on the darkness in our life and allows us the opportunity to draw close to Him or to choose to stay in darkness. Often we establish unhealthy patterns in our lives. We don’t really want to change we just want someone or something to make us feel good.

God can change you for the better. But know, you cannot be everything to everyone… Pray for discernment & know  that there are those who will try to take advantage of your generosity.  No matter how much or little you give it  will not be enough…

“Behold the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save, neither His ear heavy, it cannot hear; But your iniquities (sins) have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid His face from you, that He will not hear. For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue hath muttered perverseness.” (Isaiah 59:1-3) Breaking patterns can be painful.

The Lord will teach you how to “guard your heart!”  Saying yes to everyone is not loving them.  Sometimes it has to be an adamant; NO!

Why do we need a Savior? The world is full of evilness. It wants to pull you in anyway it can. We are in the world but we are not supposed to be of the world. When Jesus Christ is Lord of your life you can access His power. He has the power to save us from the unhealthy patterns and pitfalls of sin that besets us. Let’s get it straight! The Comforter is not to keep us comfortable in sin. It is not a blanket (excuse my pun) to cover any abject behavior. So help me understand why it is socially acceptable within the Christian lifestyle to say anything, do anything and live any kind of way and still say “I’M SAVED?”

 

Well I am sorry, but the scripture says “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Romans 10:9-10). Webster says to believe means to have a firm conviction as to the goodness of something. Romans says with the heart man believeth unto righteousness. I guess doing what I think is right is righteousness? WRONG!

We sing that we are soldiers. But what kind of armor does the Lord tell us to wear that you may be able to withstand in the evil day? Your loins are to be girded with truth. No it’s okay to believe anything anybody says especially those who say and do anything anywhere! You are to wear the breastplate of righteousness. But you hold it up with adultery and fornication. Your feet shod with peace. But I will cut you up or punch you out anywhere anytime. But above all that I will take the shield of faith and hide, alcoholism, drug addiction, covetousness……and trust I can quench the fiery darts of the wicked. Then to top it off I’ll put on the helmet of salvation. When I say I have salvation I’m safe. I don’t think so!

This may seem a bit sarcastic but it’s frightening to think one supposes he can prepare for spiritual warfare and not adorn the true spiritual armor. After all just say you are saved. The SWORD of the SPIRIT which is the WORD will clean you up and prepare you for spiritual battle. It is only through a personal relationship with JESUS and He is the WORD wrapped in flesh; that you can overcome sin, anything or anybody that comes against you in the world.

Don’t think for a minute you are not vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy. The enemy in this battle is so clever that he will try to make you comfortable in your sins. It does not matter who you are. He will try to tell you loving you is giving you what you want and making excuses for your shortcomings. This kind of love (which really isn’t love) will kill you. By the way he never takes responsibility for his actions. He always tries to distract you by saying, if you just give me this or if you would just do that I wouldn’t be in this mess. Pray for discernment. Many enable rather than help people to become FREE.There are many casualties that have an erroneous idea of what love really is. The WHEAT and the Tares are growing together. This goes from the pulpit to the door. Spiritual warfare is about taking a stand. But for assured success it must be on the WORD of GOD!

Jeremiah was a prophet who stood amidst some dark days. The Lord told him; “Be not afraid of their faces; for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord. Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold I have put my words in thy mouth. See I have this day set thee over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, to build, and to plant.” Jeremiah 1:8-10)

IF JESUS CAME BACK TODAY ARE YOU READY?

Did you know Jesus was mistaken for the gardener upon His resurrection? (John 20:15) We must address the garden of sin in our lives. We must root up the things that GOD does not consider righteous. Our belief in Him (according to Romans) should result in righteousness. Jesus is coming back! But we won’t be able to mistake Him for the gardener this time. He has provided us HIS WORD to clean us up. Don’t be safe, or sorry; BE SAVED. He is coming back for HIS church without SPOT OR WRINKLE.


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