Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self- Control” Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Trust and good communication are crucial values within a great marriage. Transparency and intimacy are built upon trust. It is really important to not rush into making any decisions that will impact the rest of your life. Take time and first consider the consequences! There is always much to learn about one another. Keep your marriage exciting. Progressively work on building good communication skills. You can maintain the spark that brought you together. Or if you have allowed it to dwindle you can rekindle it.

Here are few final things to keep in mind

Make it a point to have some good healthy quality discussions before you jump heart first into marriage. If you are already married take the time to find out how your spouse feels, thinks and processes their thoughts and emotions. Please don’t just assume. Feelings need to be validated.

Have some deep heartfelt discussions. You need to really know what one another values.

You are two different individuals who must learn to walk together. It is possible but it takes commitment and transparency. Emotional intimacy is important in marriage.

 

Each marriage has its own unique dynamics. Here are a few suggestions and  questions to ponder and discuss.

 

What are your likes and dislikes? How do feel about children? What are your beliefs in regards to discipline? How do you feel about the manner in why you both handle discipline? How do you both resolve conflict? Who or what do they believe in? How do they feel about God and prayer? What are your spouses moral standards or convictions or do they have any at all… Is faithfulness important? What does it really mean to be faithful? Are there any abuse issues that need to be addressed? Are there any addictions? Is divorce an option? These are a few of the many things you want to discuss and ponder in order to build a better marriage!

 

When you both share the same  values, morals and goals it helps to build a healthier emotional bond. You have the needed components necessary to build a strong foundation  for your marriage. This also accelerates your marriage to a higher functioning level. 

 

If you do not have much in common you really need to have some serious discussion about what you are expecting from one another.  What are your goals for your marriage? You need to at least have  some idea as to the direction your marriage is headed. 

 

The growing trend today is to simply just change partners when you are not happy. Infidelity is a big No no. It is vaguely possible but few marriages ever really recover from continued infidelity.  Which really  is not marriage; but  it is a revolving door.  This  breeds distrust and insecurity.   Many proceed in denial not resolving the present void or distrust.  When trust has been broken  it must be restored or this will become a pattern. As adults you have the right to decide, but you always should consider the long and short term consequences. Divorce or continued conflict  is inevitable when not fully addressed.

 

I recommend taking some time to rid yourself of some of the baggage that you have been carrying before jumping into another marriage. All too often it is just pushed to the side only to rise and cause even greater problems the second or even third time around further down the road.  If you are already married work with what you have. Revisit your vows. Take inventory and then set some goals together. It’s important to make plans together.  Your marriage won’t just work itself out.

 

The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. The TRUTH is its greener because they water it consistently, and feed and  take care of it. Your marriage will be what you both make it.

 

Now is the time to begin to exercise self-control as well as fervently embrace all the rest of the “Fruit of the Spirit.” After all you have  or did make a Covenant with one another and to God… This makes your marriage a Holy agreement. Therefore seek quality Holy Help whenever necessary.

 

Praying together is important! “Praying without ceasing” all throughout your day keeps you connected to the Lord.

 

Happiness is a choice, so you both need to decide to make this a mutual goal. There will be highs and lows. So always make love deposits of care, concern, love, respect, romance and thoughtfulness to your marriage. This will help you weather the storms. This helps you to rise above the storm.  You cannot change one another. But you can create a healthy atmosphere that fosters change. There is always room for improvement in all of us. You can help bring out the better qualities in one another. Or you can bring out the worst in one another. Take note of your personal progress. Work on becoming the “Best You.” Your marriage should always be a priority. Working together will have amazing results!

 

Exercising self-control is a choice. If you are weak in this area. Get right!  Rather than tearing one another down all the time build one another up! Chastise one another in love instead to encourage self improvement. Withdraw from nagging.  Don’t allow carnality rule your life. Have some good healthy dialogue and let what has hindered your marriage to this point go and move forward as partners.

 

No, you do not go forward in denial. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. It means that you have decided to let whatever it is go, and move forward not holding the offense against them. The past becomes a reminder of your decision to let go and move on. You make a point to consciously let go of the old offenses and make way for the new awaiting life.  This is a lifestyle change!  This is possible when you don’t allow  the past to  become the present…  Each day now becomes a new day for building a better marriage.

 

Welcome embracing all the “Fruit of the Spirit” in your life everyday. I assure you that in the long run, you will be much happier. Your spouse will also benefit greatly.  You can do it; because happiness is a choice!

 

By the way, if you are divorced, in the process of a divorce married or remarried make a sincere attempt to not involve the children in your disputes.  If you have; STOP!  DON’T TRY AND MAKE ADULTS OUT OF CHILDREN. They are already suffering because of the disharmony that they see or sense between you. Please don’t use them as message carriers.   It is selfish to use them for your emotional support.  You both are supposed to be their caregivers…  After all, your first priority should be for their emotional wellbeing.

 

The truth is you two were not able to resolve your own  conflicts. Children are more observant than you think. You have been in an emotional battle and it has spawned some residual hurt feelings. Their resentment will surface in many ways due to the collateral damage they are experiencing.  This may not have been your intention but there is a residual of resentment.  Give your children the opportunity to express themselves. But it is important that they are  always encouraged to be responsible and respectful.  Seek to break the cycle of dysfunction. They still need to learn how to develop healthy coping skills and so do you as parents.  Let this encourage you to model to them the “Fruit of the Spirit” as you all move forward together or  separately.

 

Be careful of who you receive counsel from or who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life. Be accountable to God for your behavior. Make sure that you own up to your contribution of whatever problems or issue your marriage is experiencing. Marriage is a team effort. But it does not necessarily take a team to destroy it.   By one spouse’s own willful behavior divorce can result.  It  does take both of you working together not against one another to make it work. 

 

Diligently seek the Lord’s direction. Make it a priority to take time to; “BE STILL and KNOW”
Psalm 46

 

As a believer it should always be more important to you to please GOD.
This does not mean getting caught up in activities. You must commit to spend time with the Lord in His Word and draw closer to Him. This is where  and how you will gain healthier spiritual strength.  There really is nothing more important. GOD IS OMNISCIENT! When you seek HIM above all else there are marvelous benefits. Know that  your body is the Temple of God. You need to feed and nurture your sou. Think and ponder upon  this for a moment; God is the Creator of Heaven and earth. He is the Creator of man and woman. No one knows better than He about anything. He can and will direct you in every area of your life.

 

Marriage God’s way can and does work. But you both must be willing to mutually embrace His godly principles and actually implement them within your marriage. God wants to be a part of every area of your life. God does not want you to spend your life unhappy or broken. But He does want you to take seriously the vows that you both made to Him. You can recover from this.  But recovery takes hard work! 

 

Everyday is a precious “GIFT” from the Lord. What you do with your life is your gift to Him. So, get busy building a marriage that lasts. May your efforts in Holy Matrimony prevail!

 

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control…” Galatians 5. May they manifest, multiply and abound within your lives and your marriage!

 

May God’s  Eternal Love begin to flourish and abound between you!

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 2 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9

No. 2 of 3

Marriage is a spiritual battle ground in this 21st century. Look around you! Division wants to nest itself within your marriage; so be aware. Have you noticed the frequency in which couples are divorcing? Why is this? Many enter into marriage without first really getting to know this person who they have promised to love and cherish.

Take the time to get to know one another better rather than to simply co exist. For your marriage to endure it is important to build a strong foundation.

 

Self-control is a viable component of a strong healthy marriage. There are many forces at works to create havoc within your marriage. One must pray for discernment. It is important that you make your marriage and one another’s wellbeing an important priority. Self-control when consistently exercised will help both of you enhance and safeguard your marriage.

 

Marriage is serious business and is not for immature people. Immaturity is ageless so just because you are getting older does not necessarily mean that you are ready. There are some things you need to consider. Selfishness and either spouse being self-centered will hinder your marriage from growing in a healthy manner.

 

Marriage ideally speaking is for one man and one woman who are in one way or another  flawed. Yet learn to rise above their imperfections.   Who desire to want to mature and grow together and become better individuals working together as a committed team. “ALL have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of GOD…” Therefore no matter how much we grow in the Lord’s  grace there is always room for improvement as long as He has us on this side of Heaven.

 

Each day we are to strive for the perfection that can only  be discovered in the Lord.  “GOD IS LOVE!”  It is in HIM  you can increasingly become complete. GOD would not say ” Be ye therefore  perfect even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect…”  Matthew 5  If it were not possible God would not tell us otherwise.   It is with the help of the Lord we can become all that He has created us to be and become. 

 

Oneness in marriage is actually designed to a harmonic journey. Trust and security are components of a good solid marriage. You are aware that the Lord is Omnipresent. You reverently fear Him so you not only respect your marriage but the marriages  of others as well. Marriage should not be taken lightly. In the spiritual sense “two become one” as they are united and committed in their desire to grow in love. True Love has no end.

 

Always remember  and keep in mind what the WORD teaches us.  Each spouse should seek to become perfect in the Lord. This is not an unattainable goal. It requires dedication and perseverance. However it is quite often misunderstood from a carnal perspective. Becoming perfect in the Lord means to become complete in HIM. Everything that you will ever need for Life & Living can be discovered in an ever growing personal intimate relationship with the Lord. He would not tell us to be perfect if it were not so. In of ourselves we will always fall short. HIS Holy Spirit is always present to HELP US. HE IS THE ULTIMATE COMFORTER. As you begin to really embrace the TRUTH of HIS WORD you can responsively say; “I CAN DO ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME” Philippians 4. It is our choice to become disciplined and constantly reach for HIS HOLY HELP!

 

In marriage you learn to give up “me ness for we ness!”

 

Self-control helps you to honor your marriage vows. You choose to not let the world and it’s ever changing morality influence your commitment to one another. Instead together you elect to influence the world. You confront issues in love. It is important to not let resentment fester. You embrace your vows and commence to live out your lives working together through any difficulties. You realize that it is mere spiritual warfare designed to pull you away from your Center. When God is truly the Center of your marriage, Your love blossoms and continuously grows as you soar through life and enjoy the many mountaintop experiences as well.

The Fruit of the Spirit are essential virtues that have precious intrinsic worth that will solidify your marriage. “GOD IS LOVE” Love is part of the Fruit of HIS Spirit. LOVE is truly a priceless GIFT from the LORD. When you both strive to build a healthy living environment that welcomes love, harmony; trust and respect together you really can build a fulfilling, satisfying strong marriage.

A godly marriage is Holy Matrimony.

Part 9
No. 3 0f 3

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Getting Your Joy Back Part 4

HALLLELLLUJAH THANK YOU JESUS!!!

You can call upon Jesus 24/7. So if you are going through; You have to learn how to TRUST GOD! Life may try to take everything that you have, but TRUST GOD! It may try to take your health or take the health of your love ones, But TRUST GOD! It  may attempt to divide your home, your marriage and your family and  to uproot your children, But TRUST GOD! The enemy  may even try to take your life, But TRUST GOD! Always remember who you are in the Lord!

The prince of the power of  the air can not do anymore than God allows. Keep your focus upon God! Know this; when you are God’s child know that when its all said and done in the end WE WIN! God did not say it will all be good. He did say “ALL things will work together for the GOOD when you LOVE HIM and are called according to HIS purpose.” So come what may;  PRAISE GOD & SAY HALLLELLLUJAH ANYHOW!

Spiritual warfare is all around us

Think about this the enemy wants to steal your JOY! He will use any and everything to attempt to do just that. He wants to pull you down emotionally, physically and to lower your standard of living by tempting you to compromise your principles. Praise be to God, for He has given us His Holy Spirit, His Comforter. Our God given principles are some of your most invaluable possessions. They are bestowed to help discipline and empower you. Through our faith and trust in the Lord we gain access. We never become the power but realize that “Greater is He that is within us than he that is in the world. “

While going through you must open your spiritual eyes and ears. Quite often some of those you have helped will often get selective amnesia. I often wondered where were all those people that Jesus helped when they crucified Him. God always knows. There truly is much spiritual warfare about us. Our world and our country is in trouble. But our weapons are not carnal. Stay prepared. Is your armor together? Our true help is only in the Lord.


The Peace of God can sustain you


Know God intimately! Pray daily for His Precious Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence. Then whatever comes your way as it gets too heavy give it to the Lord. Do all you can do, as you give it to Him and then simply STAND! TRUST GOD! Regardless of what happens the enemy can’t take your JOY unless you let him. He will try so do not give it to him.

Allow the peace of God to sustain you. When you know God intimately His Word becomes woven and deeply embedded into the fabric of who you are. “Your WORD have I hidden in my heart so I may not sin against YOU.” Trust His Holy Spirit who will bring it to your remembrance.

If you have let the shade be pulled down over your life and the enemy has inserted, regrets, depression, anxiety, stress, eating disorders, compulsive behaviors, addictions, manipulation, and anything else in as your daily companions know that they are not of God. Begin to let it or them go! Reach to the Lord. Call upon Him who is always near. When needed or necessary You can also pray with someone who is on one accord. You have the authority within you through Christ Jesus so use it and shift your focus to the Lord. You will be strengthened as you discipline yourself to praise and daily thank God!

Practice makes Permanent!

God is the Ultimate Father, readily accessible to ALL who call upon Him sincerely and believe and accept His Son Jesus Christ into their heart as their Lord and Savior. Continue or begin implementing His principles within your daily life. Practice makes permanent! His gift to you is His Precious Holy Spirit that nurtures us and is His GIFT that assures us of Eternal life with Him! No one or nobody can change that.

God teaches us the importance of faithfulness and loyalty! It is paramount to always take your commitment to the Lord seriously. There is nothing more important in life. “Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord.”

Don’t try to be like someone else. Be the best you, you can be! Everywhere you are God is. So if you have let your JOY go because…. Take it back. “Though you have not seen Him, you LOVE Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious JOY, for you are receiving the goal of your FAITH, the SALVATION of your souls.” I PETER


God is Omnipresent

You can always and forever count on God knowing He is everywhere you are. The question is do you invite His presence? Did you know that it really is “in Him we move and live and have our being.” To better understand this it is important to daily  begin building your very own ongoing personal relationship with Him. Just think when something happens; don’t you prefer to talk to someone you know? So don’t just wait until something happens. God is not far away. He in fact is so close that you do not even have to say a Word for Him to hear you. He even knows your every thought! Our little finite minds cannot really conceive of GOD and all His fullness. “Without faith it is impossible to please God.” But through FAITH we can develop an ever growing TRUST in HIM.

See Part 5

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How often do you actually read God’s Word during the week?

~ WE ALL ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD! ~

HOW OFTEN DO YOU ACTUALLY READ GOD’S WORD DURING THE WEEK?

The chaos that is ALL about us in this world it NOT because of GOD!

Many of the ways of this world have nested themselves within the midst of GOD’S CHURCH! In the Spiritual Realm; “THE WHEAT & the tares are growing together.” PRAY FOR DISCERNMENT!

HEAVENLY FATHER, “YOUR KINGDOM COME, YOUR WILL BE DONE on earth as it IS IN HEAVEN. GIVE US TODAY Our DAILY BREAD…”

~ LATTER DAY MINISTRY! ~

GOD NEVER INTENDED for HIS CHURCH to become a mere; “social club.”

Unless Your Pastor is Your husband He should not come before Your husband. Your husband is NOT Your servant… Your commitment should be to Your marriage vows you made together to the Lord! Your marriage will be or become what You make it!  When you honor your marriage vows you  honor God and one another.

It is important to consistently spend time with the Lord in His Word. He has provided a wealth of godly wisdom to help us live well balanced lives.  Marriage is the first institution that the Lord made.  God created mankind so that our lives would center around Him.

GOD DESERVES THE PREEMINENCE

ALLOW GOD HIS PLACE WITHIN YOUR MARRIAGE!

“Marriage is honorable in the eyes of the Lord… Many Marriages are dissolving because your home life has become secondary.

“Therefore as the CHURCH IS SUBJECT unto CHRIST, so let the wives be to their OWN husbands in everything.” EPHESIANS 5

Your children should not be left to fend for themselves or left in the hands of just anyone… “TRAIN UP a child in the WAY he SHOULD GO and when he is old he WILL NOT depart…. Proverbs 22

Single women Your Pastor is NOT your husband. He is to Spiritually Feed You & encourage You through the WORD of GOD. He too should live by and uphold the principles of GOD and embrace the TRUTH of HIS WORD.

ALLOW THE LORD HIS PLACE WITHIN YOUR SINGLE LIFE!

~ THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD! ~

Men & Women of GOD Seek the Will of the Lord in whatever You are doing…  We are called to preach, teach, proclaim and live out the Word of God within our daily lives.  The call upon our lives is from GOD not man. The Lord will never lead any of us to do anything that goes against His Word.   REMEMBER; the Sheep belong to the Lord! & We TOO are ALL HIS SHEEP!

It is not always easy carrying out the Will of the Lord.  Take The Prophet Jeremiah  for example. He was sent to speak a gloomy message to the people. He is known as God’s Reluctant Messenger.   He is also known as the “Weeping Prophet.” He warned the officials and clergy for over (40)  forty years.   They hated his messages from God and plotted against him. Many overlook the fact that it wasn’t always pleasant words sent from the Lord. God’s Word is not always comforting or encouraging. But it s always warranted and necessary to make us spiritually strong.  It is  the necessary Spiritual Food for our mind, body and soul.  Jeremiah was charged to remind the people of the need to REPENT!  He was sent to a nation that was going to be destroyed by war.

Israel forsook God. Three hundred  years before the Israelites  had already been split into  (2)  two separate countries.    They had continually laid aside the Word of God and followed after the ways and  traditions of man.  Many times Jeremiah stood alone faithfully delivering the messages from God.  They treated him terribly and even burned his writings. He received much persecution. Although he was unwelcomed he remained obedient to the Lord.

Allow God His place during worship!  He knows if you are genuine for God is Omniscient.  We should always want our worship to be pleasing in the sight of the Lord!  “True Worshippers  worship Him in Spirit and in Truth!” 

Jeremiah  stood at the  gate of the Lord’s House and said;

“Hear the WORD of the LORD, all you people of Judah who come through these gates to worship the Lord. This is what the Lord  Almighty, the God of Israel says: Reform your ways and actions, and I will let you live in his place Do not trust in deceptive words and say; “This is the Temple of the Lord, The Temple of the Lord, the Temple of the Lord!” If you really change your ways and your actions and deal with  each other justly, if you do not oppress the alien, the fatherless or the widow and DO NOT shed innocent blood in this place, and if you DO NOT follow after other gods to your own harm, then I will let you live in this place…” Jeremiah 7

The Lord goes on to tell them that they have become a den of robbers and that He is watching! Despite the litany of prophesies and warnings they still  disobeyed.  For over (50)  fifty chapters the Book of Jeremiah hammers away at the guilt of Israel.  Their disobedience  eventually led to destruction and captivity.  It behooves us to seek the Will & Way of the Lord in these “Latter Days” when so much is going on throughout the  world that goes against what the Lord has said.  Many countries are suffering including the United States of America.  Many of the ways of the world have also  nested themselves in the midst of the Lord’s Church. We who are called  must continue to  speak forth the Truth of God’s Word whether,  if it is received or not.  God has provided a plethora of  ways and resources for us to do so.

God always leaves a remnant of His people. We are to “be in the world but not of the world…” We are to daily embrace the Truth of His word and live out His principles within our daily lives. God keeps His promises and will continue to grow us in His grace, wisdom and knowledge as we  strive and live to please Him. There is nothing more important in life. Life itself consists because of God! ” For it is in HIM we live and move and have our being…”

Have you read God’s Word this week? It is never too late to start today. God’s Word is like no other. It is ALIVE!

In Jeremiah God promised the people  that at some point He would give them Pastors after His own heart.  If you read Jeremiah closely you will see that this never happened during the time of the Prophet Jeremiah. Idolatry was prevalent and many false lying  prophets were plentiful. There was even wickedness in the Temple.  “The prophets follow an evil course and use their power unjustly, Both prophet an priest are godless  even in the temple I find their  wickedness…” Jeremiah 23 There were also  many droughts and famines throughout the land.

The majority of the  people did not have access to the Word as we do now. Most  of them received the Word through the prophets and the priests.  Today we are without excuse. God’s Word is readily available.

Today in this 21st century  we have easy access to the Word of God. It is important to spend time with the Lord in His Word and encourage others to do so as well.  This is how we make a difference.  Then, when or wherever we gather together for worship we will be well prepared to worship the Lord in the  way He so rightly deserves.  God is omnipresent and always present and available to help us  in any and every situation wherever we are. He does not force His way into our lives.  God  really wants to be a part of every area of our lives.  I assure you He can and will make all the difference in the world like no other.

In the Book of Hebrews  God shows us that He changes His people from the inside out.  He places his laws within their hearts.  He comes to abide within us as we accept Christ Jesus as Savior and Lord.  He gives us His precious Holy Spirit His Comforter, who  is then able to lead and guide us to ALL TRUTH!  Praise God  & Thank You Lord!

Truly the Lord is My Shepherd!

“Woe be unto the Pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of MY PASTURE! Said the LORD!” JEREMIAH 23

KNOW & EMBRACE THE TRUTH OF GOD’S WORD! SPEND TIME DAILY WITH THE LORD IN HIS WORD.  “WALK IN THE LIGHT” & DAILY PUT ON THE ARMOR OF THE LORD. THIS IS HOW YOU PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE COMING OF THE LORD. WE ARE TO LIVE  EACH DAY AS THOUGH WE EXPECT HIM AT ANY TIME. 

HOW OFTEN DO YOU ACTUALLY READ GOD’S WORD DURING THE WEEK?


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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 4

Part 4

Today; 55 – 60% Of Marriages are Ending in Divorce!

I remember jokingly telling my husband years ago that we were going to be looked at, as “there goes that married heterosexual couple.” I am thankful to say God has blessed us over and over again during four plus decades of commitment. Truly our Lord is Faithful. This is why I know that it is by His grace that this has been possible.  We daily rise to give Him the glory. Marriage God’s Way Works!

 

 

The Supreme Court of the United States has voted against the Word of God! They support alternative “same sex unions.” Your choice is your choice. However, It is important to know that God does not sanction “same sex unions.” Marriage between one man and one woman is God’s Design for Marriage. Marriage God’s Way is Holy Matrimony ordained by God!

 

We live in a time when 55- 60% of marriages are ending in divorce! I understand that we live in difficult times.  These are certainly the “Last Days” when some of everything is happening. The spiritual warfare will do everything it can to promote and construct distorted ungodly views of marriage as favorable. Many couples choose to live together rather than marry.  This really is saying that they do not want to commit to one another.  Many marry and don’t really know what they are getting into! Many marry and continue to have mutual relationships outside of marriage. This is not good…

 

At some point this will result in regret!

 

Keep or rekindle and embrace the affections that brought you together.  Keep the respect, trust, love and honor you committed to. 

 

Some couples are pulled in many directions because of the pulls of sexual supposedly freedom. This should not be.  Just know it is a seducing spirit that wants to deceive you. Birth of illicit pleasure can often lead to death of a marriage.  Realize God is always aware.  He has given us healthy marriage boundaries. That are inclusive of genuine freedom.  A healthy marriage consists of two people who wants what is  best for one another and the marriage. 

 

 

If you are married and you know something is not right, please take inventory. Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich! The problem won’t just go away. Don’t front it. Seek to resolve it. Rekindle the honorable  affections that brought you together. Be more concerned about what God thinks! Find out what God has to say about marriage.  Invite Him into the your marriage. After all you made a vow to Him as well…  Begin to take whatever steps are necessary to take back control of your marriage. Seek healthy ways to resolve unnecessary conflict.

 

Proverbs tells us that you cannot “take fire into your bosom and not be burned.” WOW! Earnestly repent and stop indulging in sinful behavior. Run quickly from anyone who comforts you in sexual sin.  They will love you to death (which is not love at all) if you have been playing with fire please stop! You should know better and they should too if they are believers.  Or perhaps you don’t really believe what God has said. You will actually feel a lot better when you get things right with God. Remember His blood can cleanse you from all unrighteousness! God always has a better way.  Just know God is a more than able in any situation!

 

 

TRUE LOVE does not sanction wrong

Men and women vary in their priorities in the area of sexual needs. Men in general have intercourse higher on their lists of priorities. For instance it may be the number one preference for a man. It may be the second or fourth for the woman. Her first need may be simple  affection. Of course meaning affection from her husband.  His second may be financial security. Together you can work through anything together. Always strive to seek a healthy balance. Be  willing to share openly and honestly.  Always have your spouses best interest at heart. Marriage is the ultimate partnership. 

 

 

You see many often confuse their needs. and wants. Together you can fulfill your needs and or  wants  by working together as a team.  God has promised to “supply all of our needs…”   Meaning those needs that are in His Will.  You can also work together on your wants. There is power in unity!  God is willing to help you in all aspects of your marriage.  When you know God is omnipresent you become less inhibited and more transparent  because You know He is present.   There are healthy ways to come together in physical &  emotional harmony.  After all God made us.   He made us to  be able to come together as husband and wife in a mutually satisfying way.  Always remember that God honors marriage.

 

 

In marriage you can experience an emotional & physical  harmonic “Oneness!”   This is when you are secure in your marriage. There is an unexplainable freedom when you truly trust one another this is apparent when you are together  or apart.     You have inner peace and contentment when you trust one another.  You also know that when you have the Lord in your life you are never really alone.   Therefore they are things that you do not do. I can truly say that we thoroughly enjoy one another’s company.

 

 

I have learned  that your best and wisest counsel always comes from the Lord.  After many years of practicing in Christian Counseling “praying without ceasing.” becomes second nature. You really do have to rely on the Lord as well as uphold healthy boundaries.  You cannot rely on hearsay or how things appear…  God can give you keen insight however you must also exercise discipline when counseling others.   Some come to bring division.   So make sure you are responding to bring forth truth and your desire is to please the Lord. It is important to know that you are held accountable by the Lord  so beware where you tread. 

 

Please be careful who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life.  Be very careful who you allow to speak  over you or your family especially when they do not share the same values.   Do not let them rummage around in your life.     Most of all it is important that they really do respect and value godly principles.  Know it is always  important to establish safe open surroundings when you do so as well as to not allow yourself to be placed in a compromising  situation… Always be attentive when anyone speaks before you. Have an exit ear when you know something that is said is not from God!  On the other hand receive any godly correction when necessary.  Know this; God is  omniscient and He holds us accountable.  When you know this is true you will  live differently!  This is why I always say: “Christ Jesus  is our Best Witness.”

 

When you properly practice sex within the confines of your marriage you can experience true spiritual and sexual fulfillment in harmony.  Agur  the son of  Jakeh speaks about the fact that  every Word of God is pure and He is a shield to those who trust Him. He speaks words of wisdom and compares and contrasts the good and bad things.  Pertaining to this subject he compares and contrasts.  “….the way of  an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship of the sea; and the way of a  man with his maid…  ” Proverbs 30   “This of course  is from a spiritual  perspective.  The only safe sex is within marriage.   You reinforce a permanent cohesive  bond that God made especially for marriage that God honors.. “Let not man put it asunder…”

 

No you do not have to become cold, reserved, indifferent and or rigid. But you do or should become disciplined! You should  respect natural boundaries. If you are cold or frigid don’t stay that way. You can learn how to properly guard your heart without becoming cold.  Love is patient, tender, strong  and kind.  Correction is also a part of love. You can learn to do this gracefully as well.  You can also learn how to open your heart, mind and soul to your committed spouse.  After all you are supposed to be or become “One.” Transparency is a wonderful thing.  However you must also  be discerning.  You can  enjoy being alone when you know you are never really alone… You can also extend sincere love to others especially when you yourself are fulfilled in your marriage! 

 

 

When you truly Love, you do not just yoke yourself up with just  anything or anyone. A proper sexual relationship is like “epoxy!” When the two adhesive components come together they form a permanent bond that technically should be very difficult or virtually impossible to break.   But both components are equally important to make it work… As you grow together in a healthy way so does your respect and trust.  Your love deepens as the Lord brings it to a higher level of conscious awareness.   I use this illustration  of glue because it visually represents “what God has joined together let not man put asunder.” It is a healthy bond that few really understand. Love always protects it does not suffocate!    Love brings freedom.  You can really trust one another!  

 

 

If you are single and desire to be married guard your heart until someone who is willing to grow in Love & Life with you comes along.    Don’t  just give parts of yourself away for a fling…    Date to marry not to simply  try out one another…   This will only leave you emptier… Embracing “abstinence”  will keep you safe.  If this has not been the case start now…  Start each day fresh and present your needs to the Lord.  Take some time to let Him refuel, refresh and cleanse you. Cling to the Lord and trust Him to supply your relationship needs in a healthy way until that right someone comes along. Be strong in Him and don’t compromise who you are in Him.   Really begin to value the person you are becoming. No one can be a better you than you.  You have something that only you can offer.  Life is precious & God is always Good!  Seek to always be a “Better You!” Don’t sell yourself short. Each day is a Gift from the Lord. You are not alone and He is there for you willing to go every step of the way…

 

 

Love does not sanction wrong. It is within a healthy marriage one learns properly how to have their sexual desires fulfilled. As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is room for improvement in ALL of us.  You cannot change anything that has already happened. But you can press forward knowing that GOD LOVES YOU! If you have not already, begin developing a relationship where you can mutually get your needs met. There is a oneness that one can experience in marriage that GOD sanctions. When you are truly fulfilled you will have no need or desire to indulge in extra marital affairs.   You will work together and not against God’s purpose for you lives like Aquila & Priscilla.  You will also  readily disengage from what you know is not of God. You  truly will experience trust in a beautiful way.  You understand and practice the benefits of self control. You embrace the Truth of God’s Word and seek HIS Will for your life and your marriage. You will also have great security knowing that you are honoring God in your relationship!

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5


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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5


Part 5

You Can Build A Loving Satisfying Marriage

Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages.

Abuse, mistreatment, low self esteem and cruel continuing self punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with self defeating shame you have been left with a cloud hanging over you. This is NOT God’s destiny for you. God does not want you to have an unhappy marriage. Nor does He want you to have ongoing difficult relationships. Remember; GOD WILL; “supply all your needs according to HIS riches in CHRIST JESUS!” As simple as it sounds, You must start believing HIS WORD. For HIS WORD is “quick & powerful!” Which means it is ALIVE!

 

Now for some interim therapy; Get yourself a pillow, turn on some good Gospel Music and have yourself a good cry. Empty out some of that pain that continues to weigh you down. God knows exactly where you are. You are not alone in this. Allow the Lord to shower you with His Holy Spirit. Accept HIS marvelous Grace and allow HIS mercy to over shadow you. Start anew allowing His Holy Spirit within your inner being.

 

 

Don’t have an ongoing pity party that keeps you fixated on what has been. Use the pain, suffering and hurt to rebuild and or strengthen your character. Let this motivate you to change.  Recovery implies you are seeking to regain or replace what has been lost. Embrace godly principles to better guard your heart and accept the cleansing power of His Holy Spirit to make you His “New Creation.” God’s Word is so important. It is  not to just read but to actually bring forth healing & restoration.

 

GOD IS GOOD!!! GOD IS THE ULTIMATE HEALER!!!

 

Thank God for HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER! Yes, there is hope for you and your marriage or future marriage. In the Lord you can find comfort. Make it your goal to seek and discover how to Love God and yourself more.

 

What God meant to be such a beautiful loving, emotional, physical expressive bonding experience between a husband and wife has become so terribly misunderstood.  Having intercourse is not a time to simply use your spouse.  It is a time to come together as one in a mutual safe satisfying way. Yes, this can be done in a honorable  way.  God does not sanction any and everything. You can be creative  have fun and remain respectful. Don’t think for a moment that He is not aware of what is happening everywhere…

 

 

There is a viable remedy. Each couple is different and needs to be sensitive to one another.  Sex is just part of a building a good healthy marriage. It is and enhancement that binds you together.  But it is not what keeps you together…   As husband and wife you must or should  work together harmoniously in all aspects of life.  You can build a healthy loving satisfying, caring understanding  marriage together.  You know why? Because God says so. Things are not always as they appear. Nor is this  a time for eye witnesses. 

 

 

The marriage bed in the eyes of God is undefiled.   How few or frequently is the time you come together  is up to you.  There are also times when you will want to abstain  for spiritual purposes.  Our bodies are unique.  You can remain a virtuous woman at all times… So always keep this in mind. Your marriage intimate love making is uniquely designed for you and by you as you come together as one.  At times it is simply a time of expressing “Oneness” or merely closeness.  Study the human anatomy as well if necessary.  Working together to achieve mutual satisfaction without shame is a healthy aspect of a good marriage. It is important to communicate with one another.  There is often unspoken communication, good healthy communication  is not always verbal.  Be in tune  to one another. 

 

 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt not shame.” Genesis 2  God created the first  woman for Adam.  Adam was all alone.  He caused Adam to go into a deep sleep.  The  woman was then made from his rib bone to be at his side. She was created to be His Helpmeet.   Woman came from man.  God brought her to Adam and they both were naked and not ashamed. They were both created as one in Adam. It was not until after they sinned was the woman  even named.   Notice that it was Adam who actually later named her Eve.  Marriage is God’s first institution! 

 

Do not intrude on the privacy of someone’s marriage. Marriage in the eyes of GOD is sacred!

 

It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem.   Or sex is dirty.  This should not be. You can talk about sex respectfully like any other subject.  It is important to talk to your children as well about sex yet in an  age appropriate manner.  They should know these days that some places are strictly for elimination of  digested food.   They should know that they can talk to you as their parents about anything…  Your children should always feel safe in your presence even when you correct them. By the way child abuse of any kind is a definite NO NO! Any form of Human Trafficking is an abomination to the LORD!  It is not the talking about sex that is the problem.  You should make them well aware about what God has to say about a husband  and wife coming together…  Many have been given erroneous information that has hindered them more than it has helped…  It is when people misuse or abuse sex  outside the confines of marriage that actually brings much confusion.  

 

Perils of Adultery

Adultery has serious consequences. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their very own thoughts!   Many at one time were killed by stoning  for adultery. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter who leads us to all TRUTH! God is not a God of darkness.  Absolutely everything is transparent to Him! There is nothing new under the sun. Please take some time to ponder,  read and meditate on  this passage  of scripture and allow God’s Light to illuminate your mind;

 

My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 

For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.

 

It is important to keep in mind that we are all different. But the principles for life and living for us all given by GOD in HIS WORD are very beneficial to all of us. Your marriage will be whatever you make it! Your relationships will be whatever you make them. Be selective as to whom you allow to speak into your life… Readily reject anything that is not of God!  God has given us in HIS WORD guidelines to help us in every area of our lives. It is your choice to know HIS WORD for yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pull you away from what you know to be right.

 

The world says do whatever feels good and follow the majority.   Your are under GRACE! “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts therefore.  Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto GOD, as those that  are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto GOD …” Romans 6

 

Jesus Christ did not die for us to be slaves to sin. He wants to be a part of every area of our lives. HE never ever sinned.  “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of GOD…”  Romans 3.  CHRIST JESUS overcame sin in the flesh for us. He fulfilled the law which was a mere schoolmaster… This is why we ALL need HIM as SAVIOR & LORD! As you begin to embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD you can discover a “Marvelous Freedom” that yields much discipline as well as  inner peace.  Freedom does not mean that you do as you please when and how you please. Nor does Godly Freedom mean that you become legalistic. You rather seek a balance in all that you do. Your desire to live to please the Lord  will continue to grow as you seek Him. This type of Freedom helps you to yield to the principles of HIS WORD and you become increasingly disciplined and able to exercise self-control! You are not so easily led astray… The Fruit of God’s Spirit continually develops, manifests and multiplies within your daily life and also within your marriage.

 

You daily seek  or should seek to be led daily by HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER!

 

 

Jesus came for us to live differently. He wants us to be different from the world. The world at large will not get better. He does not want you to be anybody’s puppet or robot. He wants to help each of us/ you to  become the “Best You” led by His Holy Spirit. He will never lead us to do anything that goes against HIS WORD!  Know that many of the ways of this  world have entered amidst God’s Church.   BEWARE! “For THE WHEAT and the tares are growing together…”   

 

“GOD IS LOVE” There is nothing, no thing, nor place,  or anyone greater than GOD!  Know that we the people are GOD’S CHURCH! In HIM you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life, Love, Daily Living & ETERNAL LIFE!  In order for this to be so;  we must, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and everything else will be added unto you…” Matthew 6

 

Know who you belong to

We serve an Omniscient God. As a believer know that your body is the Temple of GOD! This is what HIS WORD teaches us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” I Corinthians 6   Be conscious of how much food  you do or do not put into  your body as well.  Become more conscious of healthier ways to nourish your body.  Be conscious of how you take care of it and what you do to it or what you place in it and where as well. Take care of your Temple.   Exercise self control and moderation.  As you age do so gracefully. Time is precious…  This is one of many reasons why it is important to take time to daily draw closer to the LORD!  Self-control is a by product of The Fruit of His Spirit. I assure you that it is only in HIM that you can discover true “Security & Significance. ”  

 

 

It is important to spend time with the LORD in HIS WORD! This way you can better understand when something or someone says or does is from the LORD or not from the LORD!  Holy Matrimony is God’s only  design for Marriage!  Know God and His Word for yourself… For His Word is “A LAMP unto our feet and A LIGHT  unto our path…”  Pray for increased discernment. 

 

Sharing & Caring!

“Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world!” As you submit to the Lord He will or can HELP you in every area of your life. God is greater than any problem that you will ever encounter. God wants to build Christian Character within us daily. He wants us to daily walk in the Light of HIS WORD!  GOD has magnificent miraculous healing power! By His Grace we can be made whole! 

 

Faithfulness, Grace, Joy, Laughter, Love & Peace comes from the LORD!  We can always and forever trust God and His Word! “…But when the kindness and LOVE of GOD our SAVIOR appeared. HE SAVED us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the HOLY SPIRIT, whom HE POURED OUT GENEROUSLY through JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR, so that, having been JUSTIFIED BY  HIS GRACE, we might BECOME HEIRS having the HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE. This is a TRUSTWORTHY saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who trusted in GOD may be careful to DEVOTE THEMSELVES TO DOING GOOD. These things are EXCELLENT & PROFITABLE for EVERYONE…” Titus 3

 

TRUST GOD AND DAILY EMBRACE & APPLY HIS WORD TO YOUR LIFE.  ABOVE ALL OTHERS TRUST GOD, FOR HE CAN HEAL  EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE!  BE BLESSED IN THE LORD!  LIVE EVERYDAY: “TO GOD BE THE GLORY!”


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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 4

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment!

Part 4

When do you know that you have has been delivered?

When you receive something that was mailed or sent to you; you “get it.”

Therefore when you understand the situation that has been bogging you down clearly, you also “get it!” You can then move forward and take control rather than let it take control of you. You must come out of denial and acknowledge that it occurred. Now you have decided to move forward but you will not allow it to consume your attention anymore. Whenever it surfaces you pray & “FOCUS” your attention elsewhere. You have actually taken control of it by releasing it to the Lord and now you are all the wiser because of the experience. You know where you do not want to go!

You can choose to become whole! Depression wants to consume your joy! It is important to remember that depression surfaces when you allow your unresolved anger to turn inward. Resentment means to feel again. Instead of letting go you hold on to the hurt and pain which fuels unhealthy emotions and holds you captive. Understanding what is gong on helps you to “Break Free!”

You no longer will allow the resentment to hinder you from moving forward to becoming a “better you!” You refuse to get stuck! Time is precious and you do not want to spend too much of it in regrets. You can now see the experience as having gained some deeper insight because of that particular “Life Lesson.” You do not always need to explain why, because your understanding has matured and your healthy self-esteem has begun to flourish since you take responsibility for your own emotional responses.

You are moving towards and choosing to live to please God and your confidence in Him is now growing as well. Always remember everywhere you are God is!

You can move forward. Some unconsciously choose to stay “stuck.” Some simply don’t care either way they have grown accustomed to anxiety. It has become and unhealthy “insecurity blanket!” Rather than let the resentment go they may elect to anesthetize themselves with drugs, alcohol, smoking, promiscuity, gossip, over or under eating or some other reckless behavior or distraction. This unhealthy behavior will only lead to further disappointment and possibly more addictions rather than freedom. Abusive outbursts and out of control undisciplined behavior is the unhealthy response rather than deal with the inner pain. You can break the cycle. But it takes work & dedication!

Know that GOD wants you to be Happy. He wants you to experience the Fruit of His Spirit. See Galatians 5. Jesus overcame sin in the flesh for us! We are not to make anyone else responsible for our happiness. Being happy is each individual’s personal responsibility. As a believer God’s Holy Spirit is always there to help us at all times. Sin is what separates us from God! We must humbly submit and be willing to repent of any sin. Then we can keep moving forward to wholeness!

Part 5


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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 5

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 5

Time is precious and many prefer to spend it unhappy and tethered to their pain. Not because they want to but because they have not chosen to reach to something greater than themselves. First you must remember and truly believe, “I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me!” Now begin to shake it loose! Don’t just say it; do it!

God has a better way! Introspection is healthy when you look inward to attend to your part of the problem. Rather than merely find fault with the offending party you desire to seek and to resolve your own inner conflict. If you have been victimized know that the offending party has responded to you foolishly and irresponsibly. Your desire is to grow beyond the pain and or shame of the experience and mature moving forward from the painful “Life Lesson” on to another level of understanding. You have now learned how to better guard your heart and keep yourself out of harm’s way. You now will focus upon concentrating your efforts to get better and doing things differently.

Hmm, you just may even elect to take a Self Defense class to further build your confidence.

You cannot change what has happened but you can step out on Faith and really trust GOD!

Let love arise! There is no emotion stronger or more powerful than love. “God is love!” Few really understand what true love is… There is absolutely nothing that God is not aware of. He knows everything that has ever happened to you and everyone else and He still loves you. Nurture your desire to live to please God! This of course is more easier said than done. Keep in mind God created you and He has a purpose just for you. No matter how similar we may appear He breaks the mold every time.

You are The Designer’s original. Strive to become the “Best You!” Therefore diligently seek to discover His true love that only comes from Him. Embrace it and it will ripen and mature within you and the Fruit of His Spirit will continue to multiply and manifest within your life. His Light will begin to shine even brighter through you. However, pride must step aside and humility must come to the forefront. How? By exercising discipline and self-control. Know this; “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!

I will say this again; Time is precious and life is too short to spend the majority of it unhappy and full of resentment. Do not let others pull you into their unhappiness. Instead place your focus and trust upon the LORD. HE wants you to be strong, healthy & happy. Life will always present its challenges. Invite God into the messiness of every area of your life and allow Him to help you become “more than a conqueror.” Why? Only, “He can give you His Peace that surpasses the understanding of man.” This is also why we all so need Jesus Christ as Savior & Lord! “He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly” in every way!

You can recover from resentment. Let go of that load and yoke up with the Lord. He can balance and lift your load. You have to trust God enough to let Him replace that void. So commence to take those bricks of resentment off your back and begin today building a better future taking control of your emotions. You can not make someone else choose happiness. You cannot make them be loyal or committed to you or to the Lord. But you can commit yourself to the Lord! You can build your hope and trust upon the Most High God! I assure you that you will become a lot happier!

Now since you “get it!” Get busy nurturing yourself and start moving forward to wholeness today because tomorrow is not promised. With the Lord by your side;”Be as wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove” Matthew 10. Keep moving forward towards wholeness helps you release what has been and make way for what will be. Keep stepping towards growing and maturing beyond resentment! Allow God His place within your life so His spiritual fruit can begin to internally ripen within your inner being. The Fruit of His Spirit is; “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” See Galatians 5. Forgive your self, let go of the pain and move forward. As you choose the path of freedom and wholeness you can begin to enjoy life leaving the resentment behind! God has a plan for you and He does not want you bogged down in resentment. Now that you “get it” let go and really let God!”


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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 4

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment!

Part 4

When do you know that you have been delivered?

When you receive something that was mailed or sent to you; you “get it.”

Many week after week, month after month and yes sometimes year after years seek deliverance from a situation or… Break the cycle! God wants you to be free. But not to be free to continue in sin. Sin separates you from God. Don’t let what has happened keep you apart from God. Readily repent of any unconfessed sin and accept God’s forgiveness. What happened was beyond your control… Whoever or what ever hurt you or whoever you hurt cannot be undone. But you can move forward starting today! Allow time to release you from the trauma of the incident or situation by embracing the fact that God loves you and wants you to walk in the Path of Righteousness. Embrace the TRUTH of HIS WORD and the cleansing POWER of HIS WORD!

“All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of GOD.” We ALL forever need Jesus as Lord and Savior!

Therefore when you understand the situation that has been bogging you down clearly, you also “get it!” You can then move forward and take control rather than let it take control of you. You must come out of denial and acknowledge that it occurred. Now you have decided to move forward but you will not allow it to consume your attention anymore. You will let your mind reflect on the cleansing Power of the WORD and on the HOLY SPIRIT’S POWER to transport you to move to higher ground. Spiritual cleansing is welcomed and it is here you build new memories that transcend what has been. You make way for more of GOD’S LOVE! Whenever the unpleasant memory or pain of it resurfaces you pray & “FOCUS” your attention elsewhere. You do not go into denial but embrace The Joy that comes from having the Lord in your life and walking in your growing “self-control.”

Many seek worldly ways and means to deal with resentment rather than first consult with the Lord. God’s Way is always superior!

What is so amazing about the Lord is you do not have to experience what others have experienced to have compassion or understanding. We all have experienced a degree of hurt, pain, disappointment, rejection… Understanding comes from God. You do have to rely upon His Holy Spirit in order to be an instrument to facilitate bringing forth healing.

The Lord wants to Lighten your load. If you do not deal with the problem it will or can eventually lead you to physical and mental issues if not dealt with. If this is the case you should seek proper medical attention. If you continue to carry the heavy burden it is an indication that you have not released it to the Lord. Each time it surfaces give it less time. If necessary time how long you will ponder upon it. Then switch to something else. Know that you have actually taken control of it by releasing it to the Lord and now you are all the wiser because of the experience. You know where you do not want to go; and its not backward!

You can choose to become whole! Depression wants to consume your today and tomorrow and rob you of JOY! Don’t blame others when you allow it to steal today’s JOY. See it for what it is. Sometimes you may have to grieve momentarily to validate your feelings. As you take control, you will less and less allow your emotions to get the best of you. It is important to remember that depression surfaces when you allow your unresolved anger to turn inward. Resentment means to feel again. Instead of letting go you hold on to the hurt and pain which fuels unhealthy emotions and holds you captive. Understanding what is gong on helps you to “Break Free!”

You no longer will allow the resentment to hinder you from moving forward to becoming a “better you!” You refuse to get or stay stuck! Time is precious and you do not want to spend too much of it in regrets. Tomorrow is not promised so waste less todays. You can now see the experience as having gained some deeper insight because of that particular “Life Lesson.” You do not always need to explain why, because your understanding has matured and your healthy self-esteem has begun to flourish since you take responsibility for your own emotional responses. Nor do you live in denial. You do not let unpleasant what has been overtake what you have begun to build anew.

You are moving towards and choosing to live to please God and your confidence in Him is now growing as well. Always remember everywhere you are God is! Make it a goal to let no one come between you and the Lord. Invite the Lord into whatever is going on in you are around you. Learn for yourself what Ephesians 6 says about spiritual warfare. Hold it dear to your heart not just to quote but to embrace its POWER! Get your Spiritual Armor on and keep it on. Remember HIS WORD is necessary Spiritual Food for your soul!

Yes, you can, Believe & say; “I CAN DO ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me!” Philippians 4

Yes, You can move forward. Some unconsciously choose to stay “stuck.” Some simply don’t care either way they have grown so accustomed to abuse and anxiety. Stop letting fear control you. It has become and unhealthy “insecurity blanket!” Rather than let the resentment go they may elect to anesthetize themselves with drugs, alcohol, smoking, promiscuity, gossip, over or under eating or some other reckless behavior or distraction. This unhealthy behavior will only lead to further disappointment and possibly more addictions rather than freedom. Abusive outbursts and out of control undisciplined behavior and resentment is the unhealthy response rather than deal with the inner pain. You can break the cycle. But it takes work & dedication!

Know that GOD wants you to be Happy. He wants you to experience the Fruit of His Spirit. See Galatians 5. Jesus overcame sin in the flesh for us! We are not to make anyone else responsible for our happiness. Being happy is each individual’s own personal responsibility. As a believer God’s Holy Spirit is always there to help us at all times. Sin is what separates us from God! We must humbly submit and be willing to readily repent of any sin. Then we can keep moving forward to wholeness! THANK GOD for your DELIVERANCE!

See Part 5


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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 3

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 3

The Word of God teaches us that “We are more than conquerors” When we conquer something we master it! We become better because of it, rather than letting it overtake us. The Word is “Alive & Powerful!” It is a mighty spiritual weapon that cuts and yields healing! It is effective when we believe it, embrace the intended principles and actually implement it within our daily lives. As we trust God the fear of whatever it is, diminishes and there goes the resentment. You can at times even smile at well learned life lesson. We are then able to begin to step out on Faith and trust God to lead us through whatever it may be differently.

How will I know that I have given up the resentment?

You will realize that you have been delivered from the resentment once you do not let it unfavorably trigger your emotions.

You no longer hold unto it like a useless security blanket that is full of holes.

You now elect to respond or not respond by instead embracing self-control.

You do not let the situation or incident dictate your feelings.

You do not allow it to trigger your emotions by remote.

You do not allow your pride to take the forefront and govern your actions. Nor do you reach for something outside of you to numb and dull your senses.

You are now committed to moving forward. Once you have genuinely let the resentment go you accept that you have constructively confronted the issue(s) head on. It is no longer acceptable to once again allow yourself to be pulled into despair.

One must commit to take the higher road and focus upon the Lord by; Shaking yourself loose & put yourself in check!

God has no grandchildren. He is the ultimate Father that always knows what is best for us. He is the Most High God. So at whatever age you may be, know that you will always need to be willing to humble yourself and submit to His Will & His Way! We submit as an obedient child does to an honorable parent but we are not to be childish. We daily strive to growing onward towards spiritual maturity. Healthy boundaries are important. You should begin reprogramming your mind to reach to God first. We must be willing to eat more “humble pie” as we embrace humility which is a part of the Fruit of His Spirit.

In these “Latter Days” many of the ways of the world have nested itself among GOD’S CHURCH. Instead of the CHURCH setting the examples they embrace and pattern a lot of their activities after the world. They allow a secular influence to take center stage. Then justify whatever they do because it is done in the Name of God. LORD HELP US! Fewer and fewer really take personal time in the WORD of GOD. The Sacredness of God is often left in the shadows. It is so very important to KNOW GOD’S WORD for yourself.

We can better build stronger benevolent character within ourselves as we submit to God’s way and relinquish our own way. This is a lifelong process. God calls us to separate ourselves from this world. It is evil and sinful to think that we know better than God. Sin is what separates us from God. There is no true inner peace apart from God. We are totally transparent to God. He knows us all from the inside out. The goal is to seek to please the Lord every day. NOT to follow the ways of this world. When You do I assure you that you will be a lot happier!

“HAVE FAITH IN GOD!” For without FAITH it is IMPOSSIBLE to please GOD!

See Part 4


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