Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Kindness” Part 5

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Kindness”

Couple in Grass

Part 5

Kindness is a virtue. Mutual kindness needs to be embedded throughout your marriage. Marriage is the first institution between a man and a woman that was created by God. Marriage is designed to be a mutually loving, satisfying partnership experience.  As husband and wife you both have made sacred vows to honor one another as well as God! A part of honoring those vows means to be considerate of one another and sincerely extending kindness to one another. Kindness is a part of the Fruit of the Spirit! It is very important to continue to nurture your marriage when you truly desire to build a healthy lasting and rewarding marital relationship.

 

Strive to be kind to one another 

What is kindness really? Kindness defined according to the Encarta Dictionary is; “A compassionate act; an act that shows consideration and caring.” This is why kindness is so important within marriage.

 

All too often more consideration and thought are often placed into the planning of the wedding or ceremony than the actual marriage itself. If you have allowed your relationship to go stale and the two of you are drifting apart you can do something about it. This is true regardless at whatever your age is, as well as however long you two have been married. As long as there is breath in your body there is room for improvement.

 

The quality of your marriage can or should improve like a fine antique.  But you both must make it a priority to value and take care of your marriage. Tend it like  a nice garden. Think about it! What was your purpose for marrying anyway? Was it to make one another miserable? During your dating or courtship there must have been some tender moments that drew you together? Or did you do so out of sheer obligation? Or in some cases perhaps you had an arranged marriage and you are expecting love to follow… Whatever the case there is always room for improvement!

 

Kindness should be an integral part of your marriage. Being kind brings warmth and yields sparks of compassion and understanding. It holds selfishness at bay when you consider how your spouse is feeling. You care enough to speak the truth in love and want what is best for one another. Kindness brings trust and freedom! Knowing that your spouse is committed to you and the marriage yields security!

 

Life brings experience

Life is serious and we are living in some interesting times. Life is full of many mountaintop and valley experience. Even when things are not going well when you embrace kindness it allows you to be at peace with one another. Disagreements are normal. But they do not have to be resolved by resorting to name calling, hurling hurtful word for words and physical or mental abuse. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, those who love it will eat its fruits!” Proverbs 18.

 

A good healthy argument is great and allows you both times to vent! But please don’t fuss and fight like children all the time. If or when one or both of you are angry, table the discussion for a reasonable period of time later on until you can discuss things rationally. Yes! Keep the child in you alive but do not allow it to take control. The child in you loves to have fun it also likes to have its way.

 

The growing adult in you must be willing to take responsibility whenever necessary. Kindness and consideration prevents dysfunction from nesting itself within the marriage. Dealing with the issues at hand and the desire to keep moving forward will help you build a strong secure fulfilling ever growing marriage!

 

Women & men were created  to be loved

Gentlemen it is important to know that a woman was made to be loved! Taking the time to listen and be sensitive, supportive and caring to her needs speaks volumes. Your genuine love will help her to become all that she can be. Ladies a man desires to be loved, respected and trusted! Listen twice as much (since in general we tend to talk more) attentively and don’t be so eager to talk before he is finished expressing himself. Be sensitive, supporting, and caring of his needs as well. This in turn helps him to become all that he can become. Good open healthy communication makes a great marriage!

So embrace your vows and always freely express love, joy, peace, patience and yes; kindness! Desire  and aspire to enjoy your journey together! After all marriage is really where; “the two become one flesh…”

Part 6

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Walking In Integrity

Do you desire to walk in integrity? Do you desire to be whole? Do you really know that there is absolutely nothing in life that God is not aware of? “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” God in His infinite wisdom knew from the very beginning of time that we would have to endure many situations, trials, sicknesses, grief and yes difficult people. His Word tells us that He knew us before the foundation of the world. God has given us so many examples to remind us daily who He is. You see “The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament display His handiwork!” So why is it that so many elect to walk contrary to His Word?

You see many do not simply understand that God really has provided everything that we need in order to live and properly function in this world. God has given us the Bible that contains 66 books which have been divinely inspired. He sent His Son to purchase with His life; a plan of salvation for us! It is through His plan of salvation we access His overflowing abundance. It is through Him we are given the opportunity to walk in integrity.

Walking in integrity provides you with a sense of wholeness. It gives you an assurance to know when you are walking with the Lord your steps are ordered. This does not mean that bad things will not happen. I assure you they will. But if you are quietly still you will be able to recognize the author of its origin. You will be able to soar above your situation and rest in the arms of an all powerful and mighty God. You see God is awesome and He is mighty in battle.

Life today is very complex. The world is full of people who subscribe to a multiplicity of belief systems. Many simply have no moral or ethical barometer to determine what is right or wrong. Many live in lifestyles entrenched in a multiplicity of addictive behaviors. You also have those who do not really believe in God but they attempt to live life by doing good things. Then you have another group that is just mentally insane! On the other hand you have many who profess to be believers that opt to employ a distorted fragmented partially clad truth system. That is really not truth at all. Then you have those who know without a doubt they are children of God. They realize that they live in the world but they know that they are not of the world. So therefore we have global conflict.

What are you saying? As a child of God you realize that you live in the world. But on a spiritual level you know that you must not conform to its belief system. You withdraw on your Faith account. You beseech God for direction. You do not walk in the counsel of ungodly people. How do I do this? You must learn to walk in integrity. You must pray that the Lord illuminates your understanding to help you see your path forward. You seek solace in the scriptures for further guidance. You accept the truth even when it is painful. You lay aside the weights that so easily make an attempt to hinder you walking in the Light of God’s Word. Daniel’s life displays an excellent example of integrity. His peers were intimidated by his character. For this they plotted against him. Yet, Daniel remained faithful to Godly principles. God took care of Daniel. Walking in integrity causes one to walk against the grain. You see the Truth is always the pathway to God!

We who are Christians must seek to resolve our earthly challenges in a spiritual way. This does not mean to adopt some fairytale never never land faulty belief system. Neither does it mean I can do anything, say anything or live any way and God will just have to forgive me mentality. After all we are not under the law we are under grace. It means to responsively take personal responsibility for your actions!

There will be consequences for behavior! Don’t t use or manipulate others who are weak and are ignorant to God’s Way of living in order to get your way! Integrity will help you walk in meekness. Meekness is power under control! The world system is not the system that God wants His children to operate within. The law is for the unlawful. But if you know the truth it does not matter. Many choose evil over what is right! You know that whatever trumped up charges someone tries to infer against you they will simply have no weight. Just remember Daniel! Obedience to God is vitally important for the believer. You must choose to walk in integrity!

Walking in integrity is not an easy task. You see it also means to stand for what is right in the eyes of God. You may have to go some places and be some places you would rather not be; but only for a season. Just know God walks with you wherever you go! But you must be certain you have not crossed your will with His! You abandon the need to manipulate the situation. Integrity does not have to fight its way into anything. Grace which is a by product will sustain you. You instead elect to pray and seek God’s guidance. It is through this guidance you can obtain the spiritual, physical and emotional energy to endure. To soar above your circumstances. This will give you the spiritual clarity to operate in spite of! Your faith will assure you God will eventually pull down any strongholds! By faith you know the Holy Spirit will illuminate the darkness that tries to perpetrate a fraudulent simulated light.

It is very difficult to properly relate to someone who lacks integrity. They quite often subscribe to the idea that they can do whatever is necessary to get what they want. They have a very difficult time dealing with anyone who does not agree with them. They often resort to fragmenting the truth to solicit support of those who are partially informed. You do not have to resort to their tactics! Do not be dismayed when they hurl insults. Just know that they are coming from a place of insecurity. A child of God must “walk by faith”. This means you have to keep walking in the Light even when you are not sure how things will turn out. But through faith you know God will work it out for your good! That you must focus on Him when those who walked with you at one time walk no more. You see the narrow road to God is not full of travelers. But it is the path that leads you over through and beyond the wide road that leads to destruction. The faith that God has instilled in you as His child will daily illuminate your path. Diligently study His Word! It will give you healthy realistic boundaries. Integrity will assist you. It will provide an invisible shield to insulate you from the claws of the many wolves that adorn sheep clothing!

Whenever you are in doubt of direction seek Godly direction. Often a simple whispered prayer will suffice. Because God really does know where you are, what you have done and better yet what you are going to do. Please do not subscribe to the counsel of the ungodly. Beware of those who talk right and walk left. Who use the grace of God as a license to sin! Who indulge in unspeakable behavior! Who live to satisfy the flesh and have an insatiable desire to star in an imitation spiritual spotlight. You see with God there is absolutely nothing that is hidden! Therefore you realize that there is no need for an audience when you know that you have God’s attention 24/7. To much is given much is required! You can then walk humbly in His Light because you know that “Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world”! Know there can be no true peace and contentment where truth is not welcomed. God is the Spirit of TRUTH! But you can share with anyone who asks “This joy that I have the world did not give it to me.” Neither can the world take it away! Do you really want to be made whole? Begin today to walk in integrity! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, Life Coach and ordained Minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”. DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published.

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Intimacy With God ~ The Desired Destination Part 1

Clouds 5
Intimacy With God –
The Desired Destination

Intimacy with God should be a desired destination. Intimately knowing God not only for what He has done; but for whom He truly is and what He will do makes all the difference in the world. It gives you a personal endearing relationship that is encompassed with spiritual depth. Intimacy really can be quite liberating. God knows what is beyond the surface. It is important to know this because it will help you to have a genuine reverential respect for His Word and a desire to walk in His ways. When He becomes the center of your life it gives your life purpose. It also gives your life balance. Psalms 145 says “Everyday I will bless You and Your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised”You also realize that worship is not just something you attend. It is really how you live before Him each and everyday wherever you are.

Have you ever noticed right before you attend a “worship service” you can find a level of anxious banter; everyone in their little cluster groups chit chatting about some of everything? Once the service begins, it‘s as almost, as though all of that joy is hushed? A solemn subtle quietness is ushered in. Then its business as usual? I have often wondered if that same enthusiasm or vigor continued what a difference it would make in the overall tenor of the service. For some it’s really become just a social gathering. Is there anyone or anything more important than the Lord? Did you know that we do not go somewhere to experience His presence? There is absolutely no where you can go, nor is there nothing that He is not aware of. Perhaps if we reserved some of that enthusiasm for Him our “worship” would be different not only on Sunday but everyday. What if intimacy was the desired destination; how would that impact things differently?

The Word of God has a multiplicity of illustrations depicting the difference God’s presence can make. The city of Corinth was known for its depravity. The Church that was established in Corinth was surrounded by much carnality. True but sad some of the worst sins were found amongst the church members. It was on Paul’s second missionary journey that he further established the Church in Corinth. There was a worldly culture which was one of the most prevalent problems within the congregation. It was hard for a lot of the believers to depart from their old ways. This is one of the primary reasons why Paul wrote not only one but two epistles to the Church in Corinth. Paul’s intent was to correct some of their behavior. He desired that the members establish a close deeper personal and intimate relationship with the Lord. He knew that this would make all the difference in the world.

The scripture says “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” Many stop right here. But if you continue on you will find; “But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, Yes, the deep things of God…………..” God desires that we go deeper in His Word.It is here your understanding can be opened; here you will find intimacy. It is His Spirit He wants us to receive, not the spirit of the world; there is a huge difference. This is how you can know the things that “He has freely given us.” It is important to know what the works of the flesh are as well as the Fruit of His Spirit. God does not want any of us ignorant to His will nor His ways.

See Part 2

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