Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self- Control” Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Trust and good communication are crucial values within a great marriage. Transparency and intimacy are built upon trust. It is really important to not rush into making any decisions that will impact the rest of your life. Take time and first consider the consequences! There is always much to learn about one another. Keep your marriage exciting. Progressively work on building good communication skills. You can maintain the spark that brought you together. Or if you have allowed it to dwindle you can rekindle it.

Here are few final things to keep in mind

Make it a point to have some good healthy quality discussions before you jump heart first into marriage. If you are already married take the time to find out how your spouse feels, thinks and processes their thoughts and emotions. Please don’t just assume. Feelings need to be validated.

Have some deep heartfelt discussions. You need to really know what one another values.

You are two different individuals who must learn to walk together. It is possible but it takes commitment and transparency. Emotional intimacy is important in marriage.

 

Each marriage has its own unique dynamics. Here are a few suggestions and  questions to ponder and discuss.

 

What are your likes and dislikes? How do feel about children? What are your beliefs in regards to discipline? How do you feel about the manner in why you both handle discipline? How do you both resolve conflict? Who or what do they believe in? How do they feel about God and prayer? What are your spouses moral standards or convictions or do they have any at all… Is faithfulness important? What does it really mean to be faithful? Are there any abuse issues that need to be addressed? Are there any addictions? Is divorce an option? These are a few of the many things you want to discuss and ponder in order to build a better marriage!

 

When you both share the same  values, morals and goals it helps to build a healthier emotional bond. You have the needed components necessary to build a strong foundation  for your marriage. This also accelerates your marriage to a higher functioning level. 

 

If you do not have much in common you really need to have some serious discussion about what you are expecting from one another.  What are your goals for your marriage? You need to at least have  some idea as to the direction your marriage is headed. 

 

The growing trend today is to simply just change partners when you are not happy. Infidelity is a big No no. It is vaguely possible but few marriages ever really recover from continued infidelity.  Which really  is not marriage; but  it is a revolving door.  This  breeds distrust and insecurity.   Many proceed in denial not resolving the present void or distrust.  When trust has been broken  it must be restored or this will become a pattern. As adults you have the right to decide, but you always should consider the long and short term consequences. Divorce or continued conflict  is inevitable when not fully addressed.

 

I recommend taking some time to rid yourself of some of the baggage that you have been carrying before jumping into another marriage. All too often it is just pushed to the side only to rise and cause even greater problems the second or even third time around further down the road.  If you are already married work with what you have. Revisit your vows. Take inventory and then set some goals together. It’s important to make plans together.  Your marriage won’t just work itself out.

 

The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. The TRUTH is its greener because they water it consistently, and feed and  take care of it. Your marriage will be what you both make it.

 

Now is the time to begin to exercise self-control as well as fervently embrace all the rest of the “Fruit of the Spirit.” After all you have  or did make a Covenant with one another and to God… This makes your marriage a Holy agreement. Therefore seek quality Holy Help whenever necessary.

 

Praying together is important! “Praying without ceasing” all throughout your day keeps you connected to the Lord.

 

Happiness is a choice, so you both need to decide to make this a mutual goal. There will be highs and lows. So always make love deposits of care, concern, love, respect, romance and thoughtfulness to your marriage. This will help you weather the storms. This helps you to rise above the storm.  You cannot change one another. But you can create a healthy atmosphere that fosters change. There is always room for improvement in all of us. You can help bring out the better qualities in one another. Or you can bring out the worst in one another. Take note of your personal progress. Work on becoming the “Best You.” Your marriage should always be a priority. Working together will have amazing results!

 

Exercising self-control is a choice. If you are weak in this area. Get right!  Rather than tearing one another down all the time build one another up! Chastise one another in love instead to encourage self improvement. Withdraw from nagging.  Don’t allow carnality rule your life. Have some good healthy dialogue and let what has hindered your marriage to this point go and move forward as partners.

 

No, you do not go forward in denial. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. It means that you have decided to let whatever it is go, and move forward not holding the offense against them. The past becomes a reminder of your decision to let go and move on. You make a point to consciously let go of the old offenses and make way for the new awaiting life.  This is a lifestyle change!  This is possible when you don’t allow  the past to  become the present…  Each day now becomes a new day for building a better marriage.

 

Welcome embracing all the “Fruit of the Spirit” in your life everyday. I assure you that in the long run, you will be much happier. Your spouse will also benefit greatly.  You can do it; because happiness is a choice!

 

By the way, if you are divorced, in the process of a divorce married or remarried make a sincere attempt to not involve the children in your disputes.  If you have; STOP!  DON’T TRY AND MAKE ADULTS OUT OF CHILDREN. They are already suffering because of the disharmony that they see or sense between you. Please don’t use them as message carriers.   It is selfish to use them for your emotional support.  You both are supposed to be their caregivers…  After all, your first priority should be for their emotional wellbeing.

 

The truth is you two were not able to resolve your own  conflicts. Children are more observant than you think. You have been in an emotional battle and it has spawned some residual hurt feelings. Their resentment will surface in many ways due to the collateral damage they are experiencing.  This may not have been your intention but there is a residual of resentment.  Give your children the opportunity to express themselves. But it is important that they are  always encouraged to be responsible and respectful.  Seek to break the cycle of dysfunction. They still need to learn how to develop healthy coping skills and so do you as parents.  Let this encourage you to model to them the “Fruit of the Spirit” as you all move forward together or  separately.

 

Be careful of who you receive counsel from or who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life. Be accountable to God for your behavior. Make sure that you own up to your contribution of whatever problems or issue your marriage is experiencing. Marriage is a team effort. But it does not necessarily take a team to destroy it.   By one spouse’s own willful behavior divorce can result.  It  does take both of you working together not against one another to make it work. 

 

Diligently seek the Lord’s direction. Make it a priority to take time to; “BE STILL and KNOW”
Psalm 46

 

As a believer it should always be more important to you to please GOD.
This does not mean getting caught up in activities. You must commit to spend time with the Lord in His Word and draw closer to Him. This is where  and how you will gain healthier spiritual strength.  There really is nothing more important. GOD IS OMNISCIENT! When you seek HIM above all else there are marvelous benefits. Know that  your body is the Temple of God. You need to feed and nurture your sou. Think and ponder upon  this for a moment; God is the Creator of Heaven and earth. He is the Creator of man and woman. No one knows better than He about anything. He can and will direct you in every area of your life.

 

Marriage God’s way can and does work. But you both must be willing to mutually embrace His godly principles and actually implement them within your marriage. God wants to be a part of every area of your life. God does not want you to spend your life unhappy or broken. But He does want you to take seriously the vows that you both made to Him. You can recover from this.  But recovery takes hard work! 

 

Everyday is a precious “GIFT” from the Lord. What you do with your life is your gift to Him. So, get busy building a marriage that lasts. May your efforts in Holy Matrimony prevail!

 

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control…” Galatians 5. May they manifest, multiply and abound within your lives and your marriage!

 

May God’s  Eternal Love begin to flourish and abound between you!

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We are God’s Offspring Part 2

We are God’s Offspring
Part 2

Know God and His Word for Yourself!

God is an awesome God! He has made marvelous provisions for us. There is contentment knowing that we as believers are God’s offspring! We are His Church. When you truly realize and grasp the fact that; “God that made the world and ALL things therein, seeing that HE IS Lord of Heaven and earth, dwelleth not in TEMPLES made with hands;
neither is worshiped with men’s hands as though HE needed any thing, seeing HE giveth to ALL life & breath, and in all things;

And hath made of one blood ALL NATIONS of men for to dwell on the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation;

That they should SEEK the LORD, if haply they might feel after HIM and find HIM, though HE be not far from every one of us:

“FOR IN HIM WE LIVE AND MOVE AND HAVE OUR BEING; as certain also of your own poets have said; WE ARE HIS OFFSPRING”

Forasmuch then as we are the Offspring of God, We might NOT to think that the GODHEAD is like unto gold, or silver, or stone graven by art or man’s device.

And the times of this ignorance God winked at; BUT NOW COMMANDED ALL MEN EVERY WHERE TO REPENT!!! ACTS 17

God’s Holy Spirit

In the past God patiently overlooked the ignorance and foolishness of mankind. There is a plethora of examples within the Old Testament. As we come into the knowledge of God, He holds us accountable for what we know. He expects us to readily REPENT! God is Not like man. He is infinitely superior. GOD IS A SPIRIT! He blesses the living everyday with the breath of life. Christ Jesus is the Head of His Church. God has given us His Holy Spirit to lead us to all TRUTH!

“If you love Me, you will obey what I command. And ask the Father, and HE WILL give you another COUNSELOR to be with you forever ~ the SPIRIT of TRUTH. The world cannot accept HIM, because it neither sees HIM nor knows HIM. But you know HIM for HE LIVES WITH YOU and WILL BE IN YOU. I WILL NOT leave you as orphans; I WILL COME TO YOU…” John 14 (NIV)

GOD IS OMNISCIENT! He knows whatever we do, why we do it or do not do it and when. He knows ALL our actions, thoughts & motives… No one can manipulate God! He has given us His precious Holy Spirit that helps us to sin less. Keep in mind that everything belongs to God. He has already Blessed us with every Spiritual Blessing in the Heavenly realms in Christ. He chose us to be Holy and blameless before the foundation of the world. This does not give us an excuse to sin. But should inspire us to become even more cognizant of His Omnipresence. When you do you will begin to relate to God and His Word quite differently. As His offspring He does not bless us because of who we are, He blesses us because of who HE IS!

In order to please GOD you must have FAITH in HIM! “BUT WITHOUT FAITH it IS IMPOSSIBLE to PLEASE HIM; for HE THAT COMETH TO GOD MUST BELIEVE THAT HE IS, AND THAT HE IS A REWARDER OF THEM THAT DILIGENTLY SEEK HIM!” HEBREWS 11 He bestows us with both Spiritual and Material Blessings as He sees fit. No need to covet or envy… Rather seek HIS will and trust God to disburse what you need as you walk in obedience. Faith does not mean doing nothing. You must believe and know that there truly is wonder working power in the precious BLOOD of CHRIST JESUS!

As long as His Breath of Life is within Your body, you have an invitation to know Christ Jesus as your Savior and Lord! ” Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of FAITH, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of our FAITH without wavering (for HE IS FAITHFUL that PROMISED) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works. Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching…” Hebrews 10 Yes we can delight in worshiping together when on one accord. We can also make an altar within our hearts for His Holy Spirit dwells within us. Our hearts can be on fire for the Lord as we daily cherish and embrace His Word.

We have personal access to God through Christ Jesus. We are His offspring and inherit the rights and privileges of Salvation… We can trust God in any and every situation. Through Christ Jesus we are made perfect. This means in Him we can become whole. We do not have to embrace the ways and traditions of man over the Word of God. We should pray before, after and during worship. Worship is or should be a marvelous time devoted to giving the Lord the honor, praise and glory due His Name! Truly the Lord is worthy. It is important to consistently spend time with the Lord in His Word. This helps to increase our Faith and also enhances our worship and Praise. Through Christ Jesus we have been set FREE to live everyday for God!

Faith means to believe and rest in what God has done in the past. It means to trust Him for what He will do in the future… We should make a point to yoke up with the Lord! Whenever or wherever we come together to worship God He is supposed to receive the preeminence! As His offspring; we know as the “True worshippers we must worship God in Spirit and in Truth!”

~ “HAVE FAITH IN GOD!” ~

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SEXUAL Problems for Christians Part 1

Part 1

The Bible Says A Lot About Sex

SEXual Problems For The Christian

In one of the Christian Counseling quarterly publications I receive, every single article discussed sexual problems. This really confirmed that the problems of this nature are definitely prevalent within the Christian Community. Many shy away from discussing issues that are of a sexual nature. It is quite evident that a plethora of the problems we are experiencing in this world today are rooted in improper sexual misconduct.

 

The Bible has a lot to say about sexual relationships. One of the main problems is that sex is more often than not practiced outside of the sanctity of marriage. God has said it is only within the marriage bed that sex is “undefiled.” Many have indulged in adultery, fornication and homosexuality and defiled the marriage bed.

 

Sex Outside of Marriage is Dangerous!

It is of no secret that time after time we see many men and women who fall prey to the pitfalls of sexual misconduct. Not fully realizing that sex outside of marriage is like “fire outside of the fireplace.” It’s dangerous! It will burn your house down!

 

You are setting yourself up for disappointment. You see sex outside the confines of marriage simply means; I am not fully committed to you. I need to be with you to see if we are physically compatible. I’ve been hurt before so I don’t really want to get too serious. Or my spouse and I don’t have a satisfying relationship so I’m really glad you are there for me. Or “I need you baby” if you love me you will do this for me?

 

This is only a few but there are so many more scenarios as well… Of course you have not uttered this in words. In the above cases your actions speak louder than words. Many simply do not really know what marriage is all about!

 

You want to take some time and think and ponder upon your marriage vows! There is always room for improvement. Hang them on your wall if you need to be reminded of what you promised to do! There are priceless precious spiritual benefits for keeping your marital vows. 

 

If you married someone who does not keep their vows.  They  have a problem…

 

God Can Cleanse You from all Unrighteousness

I have received many questions in regards to sexual problems. Many are trapped because they have nowhere to turn. Many women just don’t want to be alone so they offer themselves sexually, yet are physically unsatisfied. Many have been conditioned ignorantly to use sex as a tool to manipulate. Women who are used for sexual purposes are often thought of as mere objects. Many have been sexually abused causing them to feel low self worth. Often causing them to turn to drugs and  promiscuity or unwise counsel. This  further leads to a perilous journey of confusion, depression, anxiety and more issues…

 

This is not about putting anyone down. It is about sharing what GOD has to say about sex and relationships.  To motivate you to move towards GOD rather than away from HIM… Don’t settle when He has so much more instore for you.

 

 

Please know if you were sexually abused or if you are being abused now it is in NO way your fault! You can turn this around. Realize that you have been taken advantage of. This was an unrighteous act against you. Meaning; it was or is not right! Forgive yourself and don’t let this hold you captive any longer. God wants to release the pain your are carrying. God’s compassion  goes far beyond any life experience. Cry out to the Lord and say; “STOP it in the Name of JESUS!” Please hear me; GOD LOVES you and has so much more in store for you. Don’t let this be the theme of your life. Don’t let it rob you of a better future. There is cleansing POWER in the WORD of GOD! He can “cleanse you from ALL unrighteousness.”

 

 

Many have been taught that sex is no big deal! Everybody has sex and it does not matter if you are married or not. Especially if you are past a certain age or you have already been married. Or if you are not having sex something is wrong with you. You are not normal. But that is not the Christian perspective! You are giving parts of yourself away! This is why you feel less than… Your body is what protects your soul! You see God gives specific directions. The Bible says “for this cause shall a man leave His Father and Mother and cleave to His wife and they shall become one flesh.”

 

Let go and let GOD!

Sex outside the confines of marriage is dangerous emotionally. Why? It sets you up for possible problems that may not be apparent until much later?  You are compromising your values… You usually feel someone is looking down on you. This is regardless of how young or old you may be… You are also outside of the will of GOD!  Your decisions are between you and GOD. It is He that you want to consult if you are a believer.  It is wise to become more aware of HIS WORD. God always wants what is best for us.  He created us yet He allows us the freedom to choose. But it is important to know that will be consequences for your choices good or bad.  It is never to late to start making better choices. 

 

 

There is a deeper meaning to sex than the physical exchange. A bonding takes place. There is a magnetic chemical exchange. Within the confines of marriage a miraculous spiritual transaction is taking place! Your hearts can begin to become knitted together as one.  You grow in God’s grace and you want what is best for one anther as you commit to His Will. Did you know that scripture tells us “whatever you join yourself to becomes a part of you?”

 

Deep down you must know and feel that something is wrong, but you just can’t put your finger on it.  Sex outside of marriage  shows a lack of discipline.  In this 21st century just about anything goes. But not so in the eyes of God.   This keeps you from experiencing “the Kingdom of God is at hand.”

 

Some people just don’t practice good moral boundaries. They will sleep with anybody! Married or not married! Others have been erroneously taught that it really does not matter. Well; Its my body anyway! ” It’s just sex!” But is it really especially if you have confessed Jesus Christ? If it feels right we are not hurting anybody? From a Biblical standpoint just know you are outside the will of God! Anytime you choose to operate outside of God’s boundaries you can expect some trouble.

 

GOD SAYS; REPENT!

 

Take some time for an inner spiritual cleanse! Spend some time in the WORD of GOD! Ask the LORD to speak to your heart! It is time to really “Let go & let GOD”

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 2

Part 2

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 2

Part 2

Is A Great Marriage Still Viable?

The answer is YES!!!

Today some have opted out of the marriage. Their spouse has not been faithful and or has not or will not repent. Divorce is also sought because both or one spouse was not honest when they married. It is not their intention to work together for a mutually satisfying marriage. Sad put true some marry to get what they can get and leave. Quite often they want what they want when they want it. Their first priority is what they want rather than what is best for the marriage. This can leave the injured spouse in a state of flux. He or she will often overcompensate by continually giving into to their endless wants even to the point of financial despair. This should not be!

 

What about the children?

Parental disharmony also causes additional conflict within the children. They pick up the vibe between their parents. The children wants become excessive to compensate for their void. Some children will begin to lie and sometime emotionally withdraw. Unconsciously they feel that their well being is a secondary priority. Children usually prefer that their parents stay together. They too begin to act out. The parent who is most concerned must or should then take responsibility and address the needs of the children. Since you are hurting, this is not easy but necessary. It important to instill within your children healthy boundaries.

 

 

All too often one or both parents will often over indulge the child or children. They begin to compete for the child’s attention. Rather than discipline they will allow the child to become an extension of them. The child then becomes their support. Children vary in their ability to mature. Some are more resilient than others. Children should not be encouraged to become companions for their parents. Nor should they be ignored. They should always be nurtured in a healthy way that further establishes the parent child relationship. 

 

 

You have a responsibility to your children. 

 

 

As they get older the children will begin to better understand. Their parents were not able to resolve their conflict which resulted in divorce. Right now in this 21st century we have a generation of children that are confused about “Marriage God’s Way” more so than ever before! Although it did not work for you the first, second or even third time; it is important to let them know that God has ordained marriage as the proper relationship for sex. Let them know there is  still hope for them for a successful marriage.

 

 

Our current and future generations of teenagers have fewer and fewer positive moral traditional role models. Too many fractured marriages and families. This also can cause some of them to question their own sexuality.  They wonder if marriage is still even viable? They are all to often seduced to seek alternative ways to satisfy their sometimes overwhelming desire to appease raging hormones… They are often pulled into experimenting with same sex relationships with their peers. Keep the lines of communication open with your children.  There are some who wait in the wings to support alternative lifestyles…  This can cause them to become confused sexually or possibly even have a tendency towards bi sexual or promiscuity? This does not have to be! 

 

 

As a believer you have a responsibility to explain to them what God says about marriage.  If you don’t the world is waiting to teach them otherwise. 

 

 

Freely share with them what God says about sex in a non threatening way. Keeping in mind you are not trying to incite rebellion. You want them to learn self-control. You want them to realize that there are consequences for our actions. God allows us the freedom to choose. Love is patient so if you are over anxious take some time and chill out. Exercise patience when you are talking to your children.  You more than anyone should be willing to model good behavior to them. 

 

 

You  can help prevent them from getting out of control. You can  lessen the frequency of this occurring by teaching them the importance of respecting their own bodies.   Yes, there is always an exception to the rule. Raising children  properly takes a lot of patience, time and sacrifice. If you  have  not done this get busy now. Letting them know that they are valuable and they have the right to say “NO” to anyone. But most important that they can honor God in their body and its never too late to start!

 

Yes! A favorable future marriage is still viable…

There is much spiritual warfare that attempts to draw our teens away from God’s natural design for sex. This is a vulnerable stage of life for them. Peer pressure is already a constant factor in their lives… How their bodies are beginning to develop is a concern as well. Many of them will not say how they really feel. They will tell you what they think you want to hear. They often will seek unwise advice. Therefore they can be easily led down an ambivalent primrose path that further adds to this already complicated period of growth and development! Instead abstinence and discipline should be encouraged!

 

Let them know that God is Omnipresent!

Think about this for a moment. Did you know that if no one practiced sex outside of marriage there would be no one to cheat with? Fewer broken homes! Fewer STD’S! Fewer Abortions! Fewer marriages ending in divorces where people are unable to reconcile their differences. In this day and age it is hard to  hard to imagine! God has given us His Word to protect us! He has even told us that there is “no temptation common to man that He has not prepared a way of escape.”

 

A committed married monogamous relationship is the only way that God honors a sexual relationship! He has provided and ordained marriage. You see God has designed marriage as the only proper way a man and woman can fulfill their natural sexual desires. He is not the designer of any other method. If you have been taught or thought otherwise you are being  fooled. I don’t care what Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, Friend, Doctor, Minister, Pastor. Bishop, Apostle or Foe has said there are consequences! You see it is time out for living in the dark. Especially if you have confessed to be a Christian! It is time to stand up and speak out for what God has said is right.

 

 

We must speak the TRUTH in LOVE! Many are so confused about what LOVE really means. They often misunderstand you when you try to LOVE them for real! Loving someone is NOT making them feel comfortable in sin. Nor is it forcing yourself into their personal space.  Pray for discernment.  Part of LOVE is correction with patience. Sometimes we have to simply “step back.” But always PRAY! This is why we ALL so need the LORD! “GOD IS LOVE!” God is always available to help us properly express HIS LOVE!

 

 

Sharing the WORD of GOD IS LOVING PEOPLE! So don’t water it down. Even if they don’t like it.  God is quite clear about proper and improper sex! Try reading Roman 1 for starters. Let them take up any objections with the Lord. At some point if they are really seeking TRUTH they will at some point understand.  They will eventually see it is because you LOVE them you want them to know what God says. 

 

 

True ministry is speaking forth and living out loud the Word of God. 

 

 

Let’s really  HELP this next generation; these teenagers of this 21st century “where anything goes.” Start by giving them better moral role models! Let’s open up the lines of communication so they can validate their feelings.  They can learn to shift through their feelings and make better choices.   Make yourself available to your children. Give them a phone and tell them “to call you anytime they NEED you” HELP them so they do not feel that they have to give parts of themselves away in order to be accepted. If necessary also tell them to REPENT!  Let them know that they have the right to say NO to anyone who tries to take advantage of them. Give them more safe  “hugs” & quick kisses on their foreheads. (some of them feel too big for kisses) 

 

Give them respect and teach them how to be respectable and to demand respect as well. Remember they watch what we say and do.  Make a commitment to be loyal and faithful in your own marriage. Give them better examples and less criticism and more compassion and understanding.  Don’t encourage them to be sensual.  Lovingly  tell them when and if they are wrong. But be willing to admit when you are wrong as well. Less bickering and fighting and more constructive ways to resolve conflict such as powerful, loving biblical instructions.  Just think if it is hard for adults, it is even harder for teenagers… Lead them by example. 

SEXUAL Problems For The Christians Part 3

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 4

Part 4

Today; 55 – 60% Of Marriages are Ending in Divorce!

I remember jokingly telling my husband years ago that we were going to be looked at, as “there goes that married heterosexual couple.” I am thankful to say God has blessed us over and over again during four plus decades of commitment. Truly our Lord is Faithful. This is why I know that it is by His grace that this has been possible.  We daily rise to give Him the glory. Marriage God’s Way Works!

 

 

The Supreme Court of the United States has voted against the Word of God! They support alternative “same sex unions.” Your choice is your choice. However, It is important to know that God does not sanction “same sex unions.” Marriage between one man and one woman is God’s Design for Marriage. Marriage God’s Way is Holy Matrimony ordained by God!

 

We live in a time when 55- 60% of marriages are ending in divorce! I understand that we live in difficult times.  These are certainly the “Last Days” when some of everything is happening. The spiritual warfare will do everything it can to promote and construct distorted ungodly views of marriage as favorable. Many couples choose to live together rather than marry.  This really is saying that they do not want to commit to one another.  Many marry and don’t really know what they are getting into! Many marry and continue to have mutual relationships outside of marriage. This is not good…

 

At some point this will result in regret!

 

Keep or rekindle and embrace the affections that brought you together.  Keep the respect, trust, love and honor you committed to. 

 

Some couples are pulled in many directions because of the pulls of sexual supposedly freedom. This should not be.  Just know it is a seducing spirit that wants to deceive you. Birth of illicit pleasure can often lead to death of a marriage.  Realize God is always aware.  He has given us healthy marriage boundaries. That are inclusive of genuine freedom.  A healthy marriage consists of two people who wants what is  best for one another and the marriage. 

 

 

If you are married and you know something is not right, please take inventory. Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich! The problem won’t just go away. Don’t front it. Seek to resolve it. Rekindle the honorable  affections that brought you together. Be more concerned about what God thinks! Find out what God has to say about marriage.  Invite Him into the your marriage. After all you made a vow to Him as well…  Begin to take whatever steps are necessary to take back control of your marriage. Seek healthy ways to resolve unnecessary conflict.

 

Proverbs tells us that you cannot “take fire into your bosom and not be burned.” WOW! Earnestly repent and stop indulging in sinful behavior. Run quickly from anyone who comforts you in sexual sin.  They will love you to death (which is not love at all) if you have been playing with fire please stop! You should know better and they should too if they are believers.  Or perhaps you don’t really believe what God has said. You will actually feel a lot better when you get things right with God. Remember His blood can cleanse you from all unrighteousness! God always has a better way.  Just know God is a more than able in any situation!

 

 

TRUE LOVE does not sanction wrong

Men and women vary in their priorities in the area of sexual needs. Men in general have intercourse higher on their lists of priorities. For instance it may be the number one preference for a man. It may be the second or fourth for the woman. Her first need may be simple  affection. Of course meaning affection from her husband.  His second may be financial security. Together you can work through anything together. Always strive to seek a healthy balance. Be  willing to share openly and honestly.  Always have your spouses best interest at heart. Marriage is the ultimate partnership. 

 

 

You see many often confuse their needs. and wants. Together you can fulfill your needs and or  wants  by working together as a team.  God has promised to “supply all of our needs…”   Meaning those needs that are in His Will.  You can also work together on your wants. There is power in unity!  God is willing to help you in all aspects of your marriage.  When you know God is omnipresent you become less inhibited and more transparent  because You know He is present.   There are healthy ways to come together in physical &  emotional harmony.  After all God made us.   He made us to  be able to come together as husband and wife in a mutually satisfying way.  Always remember that God honors marriage.

 

 

In marriage you can experience an emotional & physical  harmonic “Oneness!”   This is when you are secure in your marriage. There is an unexplainable freedom when you truly trust one another this is apparent when you are together  or apart.     You have inner peace and contentment when you trust one another.  You also know that when you have the Lord in your life you are never really alone.   Therefore they are things that you do not do. I can truly say that we thoroughly enjoy one another’s company.

 

 

I have learned  that your best and wisest counsel always comes from the Lord.  After many years of practicing in Christian Counseling “praying without ceasing.” becomes second nature. You really do have to rely on the Lord as well as uphold healthy boundaries.  You cannot rely on hearsay or how things appear…  God can give you keen insight however you must also exercise discipline when counseling others.   Some come to bring division.   So make sure you are responding to bring forth truth and your desire is to please the Lord. It is important to know that you are held accountable by the Lord  so beware where you tread. 

 

Please be careful who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life.  Be very careful who you allow to speak  over you or your family especially when they do not share the same values.   Do not let them rummage around in your life.     Most of all it is important that they really do respect and value godly principles.  Know it is always  important to establish safe open surroundings when you do so as well as to not allow yourself to be placed in a compromising  situation… Always be attentive when anyone speaks before you. Have an exit ear when you know something that is said is not from God!  On the other hand receive any godly correction when necessary.  Know this; God is  omniscient and He holds us accountable.  When you know this is true you will  live differently!  This is why I always say: “Christ Jesus  is our Best Witness.”

 

When you properly practice sex within the confines of your marriage you can experience true spiritual and sexual fulfillment in harmony.  Agur  the son of  Jakeh speaks about the fact that  every Word of God is pure and He is a shield to those who trust Him. He speaks words of wisdom and compares and contrasts the good and bad things.  Pertaining to this subject he compares and contrasts.  “….the way of  an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship of the sea; and the way of a  man with his maid…  ” Proverbs 30   “This of course  is from a spiritual  perspective.  The only safe sex is within marriage.   You reinforce a permanent cohesive  bond that God made especially for marriage that God honors.. “Let not man put it asunder…”

 

No you do not have to become cold, reserved, indifferent and or rigid. But you do or should become disciplined! You should  respect natural boundaries. If you are cold or frigid don’t stay that way. You can learn how to properly guard your heart without becoming cold.  Love is patient, tender, strong  and kind.  Correction is also a part of love. You can learn to do this gracefully as well.  You can also learn how to open your heart, mind and soul to your committed spouse.  After all you are supposed to be or become “One.” Transparency is a wonderful thing.  However you must also  be discerning.  You can  enjoy being alone when you know you are never really alone… You can also extend sincere love to others especially when you yourself are fulfilled in your marriage! 

 

 

When you truly Love, you do not just yoke yourself up with just  anything or anyone. A proper sexual relationship is like “epoxy!” When the two adhesive components come together they form a permanent bond that technically should be very difficult or virtually impossible to break.   But both components are equally important to make it work… As you grow together in a healthy way so does your respect and trust.  Your love deepens as the Lord brings it to a higher level of conscious awareness.   I use this illustration  of glue because it visually represents “what God has joined together let not man put asunder.” It is a healthy bond that few really understand. Love always protects it does not suffocate!    Love brings freedom.  You can really trust one another!  

 

 

If you are single and desire to be married guard your heart until someone who is willing to grow in Love & Life with you comes along.    Don’t  just give parts of yourself away for a fling…    Date to marry not to simply  try out one another…   This will only leave you emptier… Embracing “abstinence”  will keep you safe.  If this has not been the case start now…  Start each day fresh and present your needs to the Lord.  Take some time to let Him refuel, refresh and cleanse you. Cling to the Lord and trust Him to supply your relationship needs in a healthy way until that right someone comes along. Be strong in Him and don’t compromise who you are in Him.   Really begin to value the person you are becoming. No one can be a better you than you.  You have something that only you can offer.  Life is precious & God is always Good!  Seek to always be a “Better You!” Don’t sell yourself short. Each day is a Gift from the Lord. You are not alone and He is there for you willing to go every step of the way…

 

 

Love does not sanction wrong. It is within a healthy marriage one learns properly how to have their sexual desires fulfilled. As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is room for improvement in ALL of us.  You cannot change anything that has already happened. But you can press forward knowing that GOD LOVES YOU! If you have not already, begin developing a relationship where you can mutually get your needs met. There is a oneness that one can experience in marriage that GOD sanctions. When you are truly fulfilled you will have no need or desire to indulge in extra marital affairs.   You will work together and not against God’s purpose for you lives like Aquila & Priscilla.  You will also  readily disengage from what you know is not of God. You  truly will experience trust in a beautiful way.  You understand and practice the benefits of self control. You embrace the Truth of God’s Word and seek HIS Will for your life and your marriage. You will also have great security knowing that you are honoring God in your relationship!

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5


Part 5

You Can Build A Loving Satisfying Marriage

Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages.

Abuse, mistreatment, low self esteem and cruel continuing self punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with self defeating shame you have been left with a cloud hanging over you. This is NOT God’s destiny for you. God does not want you to have an unhappy marriage. Nor does He want you to have ongoing difficult relationships. Remember; GOD WILL; “supply all your needs according to HIS riches in CHRIST JESUS!” As simple as it sounds, You must start believing HIS WORD. For HIS WORD is “quick & powerful!” Which means it is ALIVE!

 

Now for some interim therapy; Get yourself a pillow, turn on some good Gospel Music and have yourself a good cry. Empty out some of that pain that continues to weigh you down. God knows exactly where you are. You are not alone in this. Allow the Lord to shower you with His Holy Spirit. Accept HIS marvelous Grace and allow HIS mercy to over shadow you. Start anew allowing His Holy Spirit within your inner being.

 

 

Don’t have an ongoing pity party that keeps you fixated on what has been. Use the pain, suffering and hurt to rebuild and or strengthen your character. Let this motivate you to change.  Recovery implies you are seeking to regain or replace what has been lost. Embrace godly principles to better guard your heart and accept the cleansing power of His Holy Spirit to make you His “New Creation.” God’s Word is so important. It is  not to just read but to actually bring forth healing & restoration.

 

GOD IS GOOD!!! GOD IS THE ULTIMATE HEALER!!!

 

Thank God for HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER! Yes, there is hope for you and your marriage or future marriage. In the Lord you can find comfort. Make it your goal to seek and discover how to Love God and yourself more.

 

What God meant to be such a beautiful loving, emotional, physical expressive bonding experience between a husband and wife has become so terribly misunderstood.  Having intercourse is not a time to simply use your spouse.  It is a time to come together as one in a mutual safe satisfying way. Yes, this can be done in a honorable  way.  God does not sanction any and everything. You can be creative  have fun and remain respectful. Don’t think for a moment that He is not aware of what is happening everywhere…

 

 

There is a viable remedy. Each couple is different and needs to be sensitive to one another.  Sex is just part of a building a good healthy marriage. It is and enhancement that binds you together.  But it is not what keeps you together…   As husband and wife you must or should  work together harmoniously in all aspects of life.  You can build a healthy loving satisfying, caring understanding  marriage together.  You know why? Because God says so. Things are not always as they appear. Nor is this  a time for eye witnesses. 

 

 

The marriage bed in the eyes of God is undefiled.   How few or frequently is the time you come together  is up to you.  There are also times when you will want to abstain  for spiritual purposes.  Our bodies are unique.  You can remain a virtuous woman at all times… So always keep this in mind. Your marriage intimate love making is uniquely designed for you and by you as you come together as one.  At times it is simply a time of expressing “Oneness” or merely closeness.  Study the human anatomy as well if necessary.  Working together to achieve mutual satisfaction without shame is a healthy aspect of a good marriage. It is important to communicate with one another.  There is often unspoken communication, good healthy communication  is not always verbal.  Be in tune  to one another. 

 

 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt not shame.” Genesis 2  God created the first  woman for Adam.  Adam was all alone.  He caused Adam to go into a deep sleep.  The  woman was then made from his rib bone to be at his side. She was created to be His Helpmeet.   Woman came from man.  God brought her to Adam and they both were naked and not ashamed. They were both created as one in Adam. It was not until after they sinned was the woman  even named.   Notice that it was Adam who actually later named her Eve.  Marriage is God’s first institution! 

 

Do not intrude on the privacy of someone’s marriage. Marriage in the eyes of GOD is sacred!

 

It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem.   Or sex is dirty.  This should not be. You can talk about sex respectfully like any other subject.  It is important to talk to your children as well about sex yet in an  age appropriate manner.  They should know these days that some places are strictly for elimination of  digested food.   They should know that they can talk to you as their parents about anything…  Your children should always feel safe in your presence even when you correct them. By the way child abuse of any kind is a definite NO NO! Any form of Human Trafficking is an abomination to the LORD!  It is not the talking about sex that is the problem.  You should make them well aware about what God has to say about a husband  and wife coming together…  Many have been given erroneous information that has hindered them more than it has helped…  It is when people misuse or abuse sex  outside the confines of marriage that actually brings much confusion.  

 

Perils of Adultery

Adultery has serious consequences. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their very own thoughts!   Many at one time were killed by stoning  for adultery. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter who leads us to all TRUTH! God is not a God of darkness.  Absolutely everything is transparent to Him! There is nothing new under the sun. Please take some time to ponder,  read and meditate on  this passage  of scripture and allow God’s Light to illuminate your mind;

 

My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 

For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.

 

It is important to keep in mind that we are all different. But the principles for life and living for us all given by GOD in HIS WORD are very beneficial to all of us. Your marriage will be whatever you make it! Your relationships will be whatever you make them. Be selective as to whom you allow to speak into your life… Readily reject anything that is not of God!  God has given us in HIS WORD guidelines to help us in every area of our lives. It is your choice to know HIS WORD for yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pull you away from what you know to be right.

 

The world says do whatever feels good and follow the majority.   Your are under GRACE! “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts therefore.  Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto GOD, as those that  are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto GOD …” Romans 6

 

Jesus Christ did not die for us to be slaves to sin. He wants to be a part of every area of our lives. HE never ever sinned.  “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of GOD…”  Romans 3.  CHRIST JESUS overcame sin in the flesh for us. He fulfilled the law which was a mere schoolmaster… This is why we ALL need HIM as SAVIOR & LORD! As you begin to embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD you can discover a “Marvelous Freedom” that yields much discipline as well as  inner peace.  Freedom does not mean that you do as you please when and how you please. Nor does Godly Freedom mean that you become legalistic. You rather seek a balance in all that you do. Your desire to live to please the Lord  will continue to grow as you seek Him. This type of Freedom helps you to yield to the principles of HIS WORD and you become increasingly disciplined and able to exercise self-control! You are not so easily led astray… The Fruit of God’s Spirit continually develops, manifests and multiplies within your daily life and also within your marriage.

 

You daily seek  or should seek to be led daily by HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER!

 

 

Jesus came for us to live differently. He wants us to be different from the world. The world at large will not get better. He does not want you to be anybody’s puppet or robot. He wants to help each of us/ you to  become the “Best You” led by His Holy Spirit. He will never lead us to do anything that goes against HIS WORD!  Know that many of the ways of this  world have entered amidst God’s Church.   BEWARE! “For THE WHEAT and the tares are growing together…”   

 

“GOD IS LOVE” There is nothing, no thing, nor place,  or anyone greater than GOD!  Know that we the people are GOD’S CHURCH! In HIM you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life, Love, Daily Living & ETERNAL LIFE!  In order for this to be so;  we must, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and everything else will be added unto you…” Matthew 6

 

Know who you belong to

We serve an Omniscient God. As a believer know that your body is the Temple of GOD! This is what HIS WORD teaches us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” I Corinthians 6   Be conscious of how much food  you do or do not put into  your body as well.  Become more conscious of healthier ways to nourish your body.  Be conscious of how you take care of it and what you do to it or what you place in it and where as well. Take care of your Temple.   Exercise self control and moderation.  As you age do so gracefully. Time is precious…  This is one of many reasons why it is important to take time to daily draw closer to the LORD!  Self-control is a by product of The Fruit of His Spirit. I assure you that it is only in HIM that you can discover true “Security & Significance. ”  

 

 

It is important to spend time with the LORD in HIS WORD! This way you can better understand when something or someone says or does is from the LORD or not from the LORD!  Holy Matrimony is God’s only  design for Marriage!  Know God and His Word for yourself… For His Word is “A LAMP unto our feet and A LIGHT  unto our path…”  Pray for increased discernment. 

 

Sharing & Caring!

“Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world!” As you submit to the Lord He will or can HELP you in every area of your life. God is greater than any problem that you will ever encounter. God wants to build Christian Character within us daily. He wants us to daily walk in the Light of HIS WORD!  GOD has magnificent miraculous healing power! By His Grace we can be made whole! 

 

Faithfulness, Grace, Joy, Laughter, Love & Peace comes from the LORD!  We can always and forever trust God and His Word! “…But when the kindness and LOVE of GOD our SAVIOR appeared. HE SAVED us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the HOLY SPIRIT, whom HE POURED OUT GENEROUSLY through JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR, so that, having been JUSTIFIED BY  HIS GRACE, we might BECOME HEIRS having the HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE. This is a TRUSTWORTHY saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who trusted in GOD may be careful to DEVOTE THEMSELVES TO DOING GOOD. These things are EXCELLENT & PROFITABLE for EVERYONE…” Titus 3

 

TRUST GOD AND DAILY EMBRACE & APPLY HIS WORD TO YOUR LIFE.  ABOVE ALL OTHERS TRUST GOD, FOR HE CAN HEAL  EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE!  BE BLESSED IN THE LORD!  LIVE EVERYDAY: “TO GOD BE THE GLORY!”

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 4

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment!

Part 4

When do you know that you have has been delivered?

When you receive something that was mailed or sent to you; you “get it.”

Therefore when you understand the situation that has been bogging you down clearly, you also “get it!” You can then move forward and take control rather than let it take control of you. You must come out of denial and acknowledge that it occurred. Now you have decided to move forward but you will not allow it to consume your attention anymore. Whenever it surfaces you pray & “FOCUS” your attention elsewhere. You have actually taken control of it by releasing it to the Lord and now you are all the wiser because of the experience. You know where you do not want to go!

You can choose to become whole! Depression wants to consume your joy! It is important to remember that depression surfaces when you allow your unresolved anger to turn inward. Resentment means to feel again. Instead of letting go you hold on to the hurt and pain which fuels unhealthy emotions and holds you captive. Understanding what is gong on helps you to “Break Free!”

You no longer will allow the resentment to hinder you from moving forward to becoming a “better you!” You refuse to get stuck! Time is precious and you do not want to spend too much of it in regrets. You can now see the experience as having gained some deeper insight because of that particular “Life Lesson.” You do not always need to explain why, because your understanding has matured and your healthy self-esteem has begun to flourish since you take responsibility for your own emotional responses.

You are moving towards and choosing to live to please God and your confidence in Him is now growing as well. Always remember everywhere you are God is!

You can move forward. Some unconsciously choose to stay “stuck.” Some simply don’t care either way they have grown accustomed to anxiety. It has become and unhealthy “insecurity blanket!” Rather than let the resentment go they may elect to anesthetize themselves with drugs, alcohol, smoking, promiscuity, gossip, over or under eating or some other reckless behavior or distraction. This unhealthy behavior will only lead to further disappointment and possibly more addictions rather than freedom. Abusive outbursts and out of control undisciplined behavior is the unhealthy response rather than deal with the inner pain. You can break the cycle. But it takes work & dedication!

Know that GOD wants you to be Happy. He wants you to experience the Fruit of His Spirit. See Galatians 5. Jesus overcame sin in the flesh for us! We are not to make anyone else responsible for our happiness. Being happy is each individual’s personal responsibility. As a believer God’s Holy Spirit is always there to help us at all times. Sin is what separates us from God! We must humbly submit and be willing to repent of any sin. Then we can keep moving forward to wholeness!

Part 5

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 5

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 5

Time is precious and many prefer to spend it unhappy and tethered to their pain. Not because they want to but because they have not chosen to reach to something greater than themselves. First you must remember and truly believe, “I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me!” Now begin to shake it loose! Don’t just say it; do it!

God has a better way! Introspection is healthy when you look inward to attend to your part of the problem. Rather than merely find fault with the offending party you desire to seek and to resolve your own inner conflict. If you have been victimized know that the offending party has responded to you foolishly and irresponsibly. Your desire is to grow beyond the pain and or shame of the experience and mature moving forward from the painful “Life Lesson” on to another level of understanding. You have now learned how to better guard your heart and keep yourself out of harm’s way. You now will focus upon concentrating your efforts to get better and doing things differently.

Hmm, you just may even elect to take a Self Defense class to further build your confidence.

You cannot change what has happened but you can step out on Faith and really trust GOD!

Let love arise! There is no emotion stronger or more powerful than love. “God is love!” Few really understand what true love is… There is absolutely nothing that God is not aware of. He knows everything that has ever happened to you and everyone else and He still loves you. Nurture your desire to live to please God! This of course is more easier said than done. Keep in mind God created you and He has a purpose just for you. No matter how similar we may appear He breaks the mold every time.

You are The Designer’s original. Strive to become the “Best You!” Therefore diligently seek to discover His true love that only comes from Him. Embrace it and it will ripen and mature within you and the Fruit of His Spirit will continue to multiply and manifest within your life. His Light will begin to shine even brighter through you. However, pride must step aside and humility must come to the forefront. How? By exercising discipline and self-control. Know this; “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!

I will say this again; Time is precious and life is too short to spend the majority of it unhappy and full of resentment. Do not let others pull you into their unhappiness. Instead place your focus and trust upon the LORD. HE wants you to be strong, healthy & happy. Life will always present its challenges. Invite God into the messiness of every area of your life and allow Him to help you become “more than a conqueror.” Why? Only, “He can give you His Peace that surpasses the understanding of man.” This is also why we all so need Jesus Christ as Savior & Lord! “He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly” in every way!

You can recover from resentment. Let go of that load and yoke up with the Lord. He can balance and lift your load. You have to trust God enough to let Him replace that void. So commence to take those bricks of resentment off your back and begin today building a better future taking control of your emotions. You can not make someone else choose happiness. You cannot make them be loyal or committed to you or to the Lord. But you can commit yourself to the Lord! You can build your hope and trust upon the Most High God! I assure you that you will become a lot happier!

Now since you “get it!” Get busy nurturing yourself and start moving forward to wholeness today because tomorrow is not promised. With the Lord by your side;”Be as wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove” Matthew 10. Keep moving forward towards wholeness helps you release what has been and make way for what will be. Keep stepping towards growing and maturing beyond resentment! Allow God His place within your life so His spiritual fruit can begin to internally ripen within your inner being. The Fruit of His Spirit is; “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” See Galatians 5. Forgive your self, let go of the pain and move forward. As you choose the path of freedom and wholeness you can begin to enjoy life leaving the resentment behind! God has a plan for you and He does not want you bogged down in resentment. Now that you “get it” let go and really let God!”

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 1 of 2

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass
Part 9
No. 1 of  2

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness need to be accompanied with self-control. All of the above are components of the “Fruit of the Spirit” that manifests within us as we truly embrace God within our lives. As we consistently spend time in the Word of God and begin to actually implement His principles we grow spiritually. There are major benefits when you both embrace and employ them within your marriage.

We have finally made it to self-control! Although it is the last one listed it is a top priority. There are 9 components to the Fruit of the Spirit. Part 9 of this miniseries will conclude in 3 parts so bear with me and read on. Your comments are welcomed!

When you married or whenever you decide to marry it is important to know that marriage is a Covenant Agreement. You made or will make a solemn vow to love your spouse. True love lasts forever! Love is a crucial essential element of a good marriage. It is important to know how your spouse defines and interprets love! It is even more important to know that “GOD IS LOVE!”

Search the scriptures assiduously to arrive at a better understanding of what and who love really is. Learn from Your Creator who is Love. True love continues to grow and flourish. Like God it is eternal. Self-control is a component of love. Love will help you weather the storms of life. It enables you to rise to the peaks and go through the tempestuous valley experiences that often occur, when building a strong, intimate, healthy, satisfying marriage that endures the tests of time.

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit will build a good healthy strong loving marriage with a strong sure foundation.

Self-Control is so very important! It will help you in every area of your life! Self-control allows you to be controlled from within rather than by any sort of outer, physical, mental, or emotional remote control. You simply don’t just automatically react to anything or anyone and let it trigger an impulsive response. Instead you choose to respond in a responsible manner. Or whenever you do react impulsively you are readily willing to admit that you were at fault. This is exercising self-control. Your heart also becomes disciplined. The more you walk in self-control the more it becomes a part of who you are.

Remember practice makes permanent!

Wow! We have finally reached the finale in our quest to encourage you to embrace the “Fruit of the Spirit” within your marriage. Once you truly have GOD in your life you have unlimited access to a plethora of possibilities. He is OMNIPOTENT! The more you practice self-control the better you become at exercising it personally. Remember and embrace; “I can DO ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME.”

Faithfully spend time with the Lord in HIS WORD!

Self-control defined is: “the ability to exercise restraint over one’s feelings reactions etc. The act of denying yourself and controlling your impulses.” Keep this definition in mind as we continue on.
Part 9
No. 2 of 2

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit in your marriage “Gentleness” Part 8

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Gentleness”

Couple in Grass

Part 8

The Fruit of the Spirit is actually a natural spontaneous occurrence that happens in our lives as we grow spiritually. Our character and personality is wonderfully shaped as we embrace God’s principles. The Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

Gentleness is important. Let’s now focus on the benefits of embracing gentleness within our marriage. You can develop a mutually beneficial symbiotically satisfying marital relationship where each partner is respected and appreciated!

Marriage is meant to be an endearing, beautiful, romantic, fulfilling, life long spiritual union coming together as one, between a man and a woman. Your marriage should be equally cherished by both of you. If this is not the case; time to get busy! You have some work to do! Dust off your vows, revisit, renew and now actually implement them within your marriage. Together working as a team you can accomplish great things together!

Your marriage should be or should become a priority if this is not the case. Did you know that you and your spouse are actually co partners in a covenant agreement? You have made promises to one another that go much deeper than a piece of paper! Your marriage will be what you make it… Learning to be sensitive, caring and gentle will help you build a cohesive, enjoyable healthy interconnected marriage. The well being of one another is a priority in this type of marriage. Embracing gentleness allows you to let your guard down with one another! Your weaknesses come to the forefront and you become transparent and open with one another and your trust deepens.

Marriage is meant to be an ongoing exciting life long quest together improving, growing, and becoming the best person you can be. You remain two separate individuals who are dedicated to growing together and working as an unbreakable team working side by side. You chastise and challenge one another. You also complement one another as well as build one another up!

Gentleness is important because it allows you not to hide behind the hard shield your personality must sometimes develops in order to protect yourself from the world and its influences. You must learn how to guard your heart. But within a good trusting marriage there is no need. For as your love deepens your heart remains open. You can instead allow your spouse to embrace you in a most tangible intimate way that is usually exclusively reserved for marriage. I must say you can enjoy one another even when you are not feeling well… You can not even utter a word and one another knows how the other is feeling. Spiritual “ONENESS” in marriage helps you to always keep a level of respect for one another. You build healthy boundaries around your marriage. You both commit to do what is best for the marriage. This is why you should not just join yourself to anyone!

When you invite the Lord into your marriage together you are able to weather the multiplicity of storms that life brings your way. When you disagree you stand firm but you don’t allow bitterness and strife to permanently nest itself between you. When one is down the other spouse brings comfort and maintains a healthy nurturing environment. It takes inner strength and security for Gentleness to be appropriately and sincerely expressed. In this case You both are truly equally yoked!

When you do not allow gentleness to become a part of your marriage your hearts instead harden. When you disagree you often become divided and resentment and unforgiveness instead sets in. This is why so many marriages end in divorce. One may often remain faithful as the other ones drifts… Rather than work through their difficulties and storms they begin to pull you further apart.

Marriage should not be full of drudgery hard harsh words continuous meaningless encounters and a lot of unhappiness. Life is too short. When you build your marriage upon trust and embrace the Fruit of the Spirit your marriage will flourish and endure! Time is precious and it passes by every so quickly.

Marriage is the oldest traditional institution known to mankind designed by God. It is the foundational relationship upon which the family was built upon. As you practice gentleness in marriage it becomes a part of who you are! You are better able to balance out the harshness that life so often presents. You have an abiding peace and comfort level between you. The core of who you are is openly shared with your spouse and you both are totally exposed to the Lord! You know that He really is Omnipresent. You both have committed to submitting to the Lord’s will and way in your lives by honoring your marriage vows. When a couple yields to the Lord His fruit will begin to multiply and manifests within their marriage. Gentleness allows your hearts to genuinely cleave together! What God has truly joined together man cannot pull apart…

Keep in mind; “GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR of confusion” I Corinthians 14 It is never too late to give God His place within your marriage. Remember; After all you made a vow.

The last and next very important part of the Fruit of the Spirit is Self Control. Embracing self control will help you in every area of your life!

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and …” Galatians 5.

Part 9

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