Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self- Control” Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Trust and good communication are crucial values within a great marriage. Transparency and intimacy are built upon trust. It is really important to not rush into making any decisions that will impact the rest of your life. Take time and first consider the consequences! There is always much to learn about one another. Keep your marriage exciting. Progressively work on building good communication skills. You can maintain the spark that brought you together. Or if you have allowed it to dwindle you can rekindle it.

Here are few final things to keep in mind

Make it a point to have some good healthy quality discussions before you jump heart first into marriage. If you are already married take the time to find out how your spouse feels, thinks and processes their thoughts and emotions. Please don’t just assume. Feelings need to be validated.

Have some deep heartfelt discussions. You need to really know what one another values.

You are two different individuals who must learn to walk together. It is possible but it takes commitment and transparency. Emotional intimacy is important in marriage.

 

Each marriage has its own unique dynamics. Here are a few suggestions and  questions to ponder and discuss.

 

What are your likes and dislikes? How do feel about children? What are your beliefs in regards to discipline? How do you feel about the manner in why you both handle discipline? How do you both resolve conflict? Who or what do they believe in? How do they feel about God and prayer? What are your spouses moral standards or convictions or do they have any at all… Is faithfulness important? What does it really mean to be faithful? Are there any abuse issues that need to be addressed? Are there any addictions? Is divorce an option? These are a few of the many things you want to discuss and ponder in order to build a better marriage!

 

When you both share the same  values, morals and goals it helps to build a healthier emotional bond. You have the needed components necessary to build a strong foundation  for your marriage. This also accelerates your marriage to a higher functioning level. 

 

If you do not have much in common you really need to have some serious discussion about what you are expecting from one another.  What are your goals for your marriage? You need to at least have  some idea as to the direction your marriage is headed. 

 

The growing trend today is to simply just change partners when you are not happy. Infidelity is a big No no. It is vaguely possible but few marriages ever really recover from continued infidelity.  Which really  is not marriage; but  it is a revolving door.  This  breeds distrust and insecurity.   Many proceed in denial not resolving the present void or distrust.  When trust has been broken  it must be restored or this will become a pattern. As adults you have the right to decide, but you always should consider the long and short term consequences. Divorce or continued conflict  is inevitable when not fully addressed.

 

I recommend taking some time to rid yourself of some of the baggage that you have been carrying before jumping into another marriage. All too often it is just pushed to the side only to rise and cause even greater problems the second or even third time around further down the road.  If you are already married work with what you have. Revisit your vows. Take inventory and then set some goals together. It’s important to make plans together.  Your marriage won’t just work itself out.

 

The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. The TRUTH is its greener because they water it consistently, and feed and  take care of it. Your marriage will be what you both make it.

 

Now is the time to begin to exercise self-control as well as fervently embrace all the rest of the “Fruit of the Spirit.” After all you have  or did make a Covenant with one another and to God… This makes your marriage a Holy agreement. Therefore seek quality Holy Help whenever necessary.

 

Praying together is important! “Praying without ceasing” all throughout your day keeps you connected to the Lord.

 

Happiness is a choice, so you both need to decide to make this a mutual goal. There will be highs and lows. So always make love deposits of care, concern, love, respect, romance and thoughtfulness to your marriage. This will help you weather the storms. This helps you to rise above the storm.  You cannot change one another. But you can create a healthy atmosphere that fosters change. There is always room for improvement in all of us. You can help bring out the better qualities in one another. Or you can bring out the worst in one another. Take note of your personal progress. Work on becoming the “Best You.” Your marriage should always be a priority. Working together will have amazing results!

 

Exercising self-control is a choice. If you are weak in this area. Get right!  Rather than tearing one another down all the time build one another up! Chastise one another in love instead to encourage self improvement. Withdraw from nagging.  Don’t allow carnality rule your life. Have some good healthy dialogue and let what has hindered your marriage to this point go and move forward as partners.

 

No, you do not go forward in denial. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. It means that you have decided to let whatever it is go, and move forward not holding the offense against them. The past becomes a reminder of your decision to let go and move on. You make a point to consciously let go of the old offenses and make way for the new awaiting life.  This is a lifestyle change!  This is possible when you don’t allow  the past to  become the present…  Each day now becomes a new day for building a better marriage.

 

Welcome embracing all the “Fruit of the Spirit” in your life everyday. I assure you that in the long run, you will be much happier. Your spouse will also benefit greatly.  You can do it; because happiness is a choice!

 

By the way, if you are divorced, in the process of a divorce married or remarried make a sincere attempt to not involve the children in your disputes.  If you have; STOP!  DON’T TRY AND MAKE ADULTS OUT OF CHILDREN. They are already suffering because of the disharmony that they see or sense between you. Please don’t use them as message carriers.   It is selfish to use them for your emotional support.  You both are supposed to be their caregivers…  After all, your first priority should be for their emotional wellbeing.

 

The truth is you two were not able to resolve your own  conflicts. Children are more observant than you think. You have been in an emotional battle and it has spawned some residual hurt feelings. Their resentment will surface in many ways due to the collateral damage they are experiencing.  This may not have been your intention but there is a residual of resentment.  Give your children the opportunity to express themselves. But it is important that they are  always encouraged to be responsible and respectful.  Seek to break the cycle of dysfunction. They still need to learn how to develop healthy coping skills and so do you as parents.  Let this encourage you to model to them the “Fruit of the Spirit” as you all move forward together or  separately.

 

Be careful of who you receive counsel from or who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life. Be accountable to God for your behavior. Make sure that you own up to your contribution of whatever problems or issue your marriage is experiencing. Marriage is a team effort. But it does not necessarily take a team to destroy it.   By one spouse’s own willful behavior divorce can result.  It  does take both of you working together not against one another to make it work. 

 

Diligently seek the Lord’s direction. Make it a priority to take time to; “BE STILL and KNOW”
Psalm 46

 

As a believer it should always be more important to you to please GOD.
This does not mean getting caught up in activities. You must commit to spend time with the Lord in His Word and draw closer to Him. This is where  and how you will gain healthier spiritual strength.  There really is nothing more important. GOD IS OMNISCIENT! When you seek HIM above all else there are marvelous benefits. Know that  your body is the Temple of God. You need to feed and nurture your sou. Think and ponder upon  this for a moment; God is the Creator of Heaven and earth. He is the Creator of man and woman. No one knows better than He about anything. He can and will direct you in every area of your life.

 

Marriage God’s way can and does work. But you both must be willing to mutually embrace His godly principles and actually implement them within your marriage. God wants to be a part of every area of your life. God does not want you to spend your life unhappy or broken. But He does want you to take seriously the vows that you both made to Him. You can recover from this.  But recovery takes hard work! 

 

Everyday is a precious “GIFT” from the Lord. What you do with your life is your gift to Him. So, get busy building a marriage that lasts. May your efforts in Holy Matrimony prevail!

 

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control…” Galatians 5. May they manifest, multiply and abound within your lives and your marriage!

 

May God’s  Eternal Love begin to flourish and abound between you!

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit in your marriage “Gentleness” Part 8

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Gentleness”

Couple in Grass

Part 8

The Fruit of the Spirit is actually a natural spontaneous occurrence that happens in our lives as we grow spiritually. Our character and personality is wonderfully shaped as we embrace God’s principles. The Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

 

Gentleness is important. Let’s now focus on the benefits of embracing gentleness within our marriage. You can develop a mutually beneficial symbiotically satisfying marital relationship where each partner is respected and appreciated!

 

Marriage is meant to be an endearing, beautiful, romantic, fulfilling, life long spiritual union coming together as one, between a man and a woman. Your marriage should be equally cherished by both of you. If this is not the case; time to get busy. You have some work to do. Dust off your vows, revisit, renew and now actually implement them within your marriage. Together working as a team you can accomplish great things together!

 

Your marriage should be or should become a priority if this is not the case. Did you know that you and your spouse are actually co partners in a covenant agreement? You have made promises to one another that go much deeper than a piece of paper! Your marriage will be what you make it… Learning to be sensitive, caring and gentle will help you build a cohesive, enjoyable healthy interconnected marriage. The well being of one another is a priority in this type of marriage. Embracing gentleness allows you to let your guard down with one another! Your weaknesses come to the forefront and you become transparent and open with one another and your trust deepens.

 

Marriage is meant to be an ongoing exciting life long quest together improving, growing, and becoming the best person you can be. You remain two separate individuals who are dedicated to growing together and working as an unbreakable team working side by side. You chastise and challenge one another. You also complement one another as well as build one another up!

 

Gentleness is important because it allows you not to hide behind the hard shield your personality must sometimes develops in order to protect yourself from the world and its influences. You must learn how to guard your heart. But within a good trusting marriage there is no need. For as your love deepens your heart remains open. You can instead allow your spouse to embrace you in a most tangible intimate way that is usually exclusively reserved for marriage. I must say you can enjoy one another even when you are not feeling well… You can not even utter a word and one another knows how the other is feeling. Spiritual “ONENESS” in marriage helps you to always keep a level of respect for one another. You build healthy boundaries around your marriage. You both commit to do what is best for the marriage. This is why you should not just join yourself to anyone!

 

 

When you invite the Lord into your marriage together you are able to weather the multiplicity of storms that life brings your way. When you disagree you stand firm but you don’t allow bitterness and strife to permanently nest itself between you. When one is down the other spouse brings comfort and maintains a healthy nurturing environment. Give both  gentle and firm embraces. Learn to  hug one another with  kind thoughtful words.  Gentleness makes you come close in your romantic moments as well  not just physically but emotionally.  You learn to  allow room for your love  to manifest in many ways…  It takes inner strength and security for Gentleness to be appropriately and sincerely expressed. In this case You both are truly equally yoked!

 

When you do not allow gentleness to become a part of your marriage your hearts instead harden. When you disagree you often become divided and resentment and unforgiveness instead sets in. This is why so many marriages end in divorce. One may often remain faithful as the other ones drifts… Rather than work through their difficulties and storms they begin to pull you further apart.

Marriage should not be full of drudgery hard harsh words continuous meaningless encounters and a lot of unhappiness. Life is too short. When you build your marriage upon trust and embrace the Fruit of the Spirit your marriage will flourish and endure! Time is precious and it passes by every so quickly.

Marriage is the oldest traditional institution known to mankind designed by God. It is the foundational relationship upon which the family was built upon. As you practice gentleness in marriage it becomes a part of who you are! You are better able to balance out the harshness that life so often presents. You have an abiding peace and comfort level between you. The core of who you are is openly shared with your spouse and you both are totally exposed to the Lord! You know that He really is Omnipresent. You both have committed to submitting to the Lord’s will and way in your lives by honoring your marriage vows. When a couple yields to the Lord His fruit will begin to multiply and manifests within their marriage. Gentleness allows your hearts to genuinely cleave together! What God has truly joined together man cannot pull apart…

Keep in mind; “GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR of confusion” I Corinthians 14 It is never too late to give God His place within your marriage. Remember; After all you made a vow.

The last and next very important part of the Fruit of the Spirit is Self Control. Embracing self control will help you in every area of your life!

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and …” Galatians 5.

Part 9

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within you marriage “Faithfulness” Part 7

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Faithfulness”

Couple in Grass

Part 7

Faithfulness

Faithfulness is a very important aspect of building a strong healthy marriage!

Marriage really is about teamwork! Is your marriage really what you expected? Or did you expect things to just happen? Your marriage will not bloom and flourish unless you both put forth an effort. The two of you need to make a conscious genuine attempt to honor your marriage vows. Your health, mental state, physical stamina and well being are greatly impacted by the manner in which you relate in your marriage! Together you have the ability to create a healthy, invigorating, enjoyable, relaxing and harmonious home environment.

Marriage is the ultimate partnership relationship between a man and a woman! A good marriage embraces loyalty and faithfulness! Faithfulness is an expression of love!

Growing together in  your marriage

It is important to learn to become transparent with your spouse. Marriage is about continuously growing and encouraging one another to become the best person that they can be… This way everyone benefits.

Make it a point to become increasingly aware of one another’s temperaments! Temperament is how we react or respond to people, places and things in any given situation. Temperament is our God given  innate inherent characteristics that make us unique. No two persons are really the same.  God made each of us as originals. But two people can learn to live together in harmony as we respect one another. This is how your love grows!

Embrace allowing the “Fruit of the Spirit” to flourish within each of you as well as within your marriage. Chastise one another yes, but speak the truth in love! Timing is key. There are times you must say to your spouse what no one else will say. This is to help one another to grow and improve. Rather than focusing on one another’s shortcomings,  frequently look for times to build one another up and encourage one another when the opportunity arises. This also builds transparency and intimacy.

 

Building Intimacy Together

Physical and emotional intimacy is important in marriage. This too will enhance your moments of close physical intimacy. A good strong marriage makes you both better and stronger individuals who have one another’s best interest at heart. This is true wherever you, whether if you are apart or together.  You are secure knowing that you always have one another’s  heart between you.  Learn to lay aside improper or dysfunctional ways that will only hinder your spiritual growth as well as your marriage.

 

Always remember; You honor God when you honor your marriage!

 

Lovingly, and faithfully work together to make sure that one another’s sexual needs and desires are realized and fulfilled within your marriage. Your physical intimacy becomes yet another committed expression of the depth of your love for one another. Together you can work through any issues that hinder you from freely expressing yourselves to one another…

 

Coming together  as one is natural. There is no need for shame when expressing what God made to be a beautiful time of coming together! Physically, emotionally and intimately the “two become one flesh” Within marriage the “marriage bed” is honorable in the sight of God. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed should always be kept pure.” Hebrews 13. You both commit to honor not only your marriage but the marriages of others.

 

There is security in faithfulness

Faithfulness is part of the Fruit of the Spirit! When you are faithful it yields oodles of security! You both know no matter what; that you can trust one another and that you are there for one another. Even when you disagree you have inner peace about your marriage because there is a deep well of trust built into the foundation of your relationship. You can even disagree respectfully.  Your marriage is a high priority!

 

Life is complex and at times very difficult… Everyone has a bad day… So you do not readily personalize your spouse’s every word or frustration. You allow one another to vent when needed… You respect one another and become sensitive to their needs. Do not allow pride to take the reign of your marriage, be humble, caring, discerning and loving. This takes inner strength and patience… Faithfulness allows you to give one another the room to grow and give each other some space whenever necessary.

 

Marriage is sacred in the eyes of God! Spend some time daily in His Word. Embrace and implement His principles for life and living within your marriage. He is the original Designer of marriage. God’s way really does works when we adhere to His principles. Building a strong loving marriage involves commitment and gentleness. You can still be strong but and be gentle. Gentleness is another part of the Fruit of the Spirit we will discuss next in this series. I hope that this has been helpful and you are encouraged to take responsibility for your part in making your marriage successful!

 

When you honor your marriage vows you honor God!

 

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness…” Galatians 5.  These become by products of an ever increasing  relationship with the Lord.    Embracing God’s Word and His principles grows us in His Grace. 

 

Marriage God’s way comes with marvelous benefits.  Marriage  is a commitment to work together  for a common goal.  You can be united as One!  Therefore,  you should marry because we want to grow in love together for a lifetime.   As you honor God within your marriage He will bless you by multiplying and manifesting  the Fruit of His Spirit  within both of you Faithfulness is a part of His Fruit.

 

Benefits of Faithfulness

Faithfulness genuinely  says that I take my vows to you and to God seriously. That I love you and I am here for you no matter what and together  we can make it through anything!  Transparency and intimacy is encouraged. You  not only remain  faithful to one another but you are  also faithful to God as well!   Yes things will happen… However, you can always invite God into the “messiness” of your life because you know that God is forever  faithful!   God is more than able! He has given us His Comforter to Help us! 

 

While in this world we are living within a spiritual warzone. Therefore you can expect some of everything…   However, the battle is not ours.  We are to remain alert and  daily adorned within the spiritual armor. Regardless of what the world is doing;  We know that His precious  Holy Spirit can help us 24/7.  Thank God for Christ Jesus! There are many benefits in learning how to embrace and implement  the Fruit of God’s Spirit within  your marriage. So now let’s move towards learning how to embrace gentleness…

Part 8

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