Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 1

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!


Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 1

Resentment can kill or deteriorate any marriage, home, family, congregation, or relationship if it is not properly dealt with. It is like leaven. It spoils… Resentment means you feel over and over the pain or distaste associated with an act or deed that has been made against you.

Don’t let others continue to disrespect you or undermine who you are becoming in the Lord. Especially when they have showed you over and over who they are. I say “becoming” because we never arrive; there is always room for improvement as long as the Lord has us on this side of Heaven. Pray for discernment. We actually do arrive; when we reach Heaven!

Counseling entails objective listening. Be a good listener whenever people are talking or speaking. No matter how young or old they may be. When they say something that you know is not true it will give you a clearer picture of who they are and how they feel about themselves as well as what influences them. There is a difference between gossip and having a desire to resolve conflict and set people free. Or if you simply want to control them. Some have an addiction to control. If they cannot control You they will manipulate and try to control the people around you.

PRAY FOR DISCERNMENT!
If you want increased discernment you must truly seek the will of the Lord. Discernment does not allow You to see what you want to see. It causes you to seek the Truth of what is really going on. You readily release what is not so because it clouds your ability to discern. Discernment goes beyond the surface of how things appear. Remember The Holy Spirit; His Comforter wants to lead us to all Truth!

Know the difference between the works of the flesh and the FRUIT of the SPIRIT!

Avoiding conflict or not confronting how you feel and just stowing it away causes resentment to grow and fester. It is healthier to validate your feelings. Then put them in the proper perspective. You can not change anything that has happened. But you can get release from what has been. Resentment hurts you more than it hurts the person you are resenting! “Iron sharpens iron”

Many mistake acceptance for Love. They will do whatever; to be accepted. But are not at peace when they are alone. This also deepens their depression. Some are so use to abuse that they cannot recognize genuine concern or proper correction that comes from love. Oh how we need to allow GOD HIS rightful place in all areas of life. God has a much better way. Live before an “AUDIENCE of ONE!”

To help others become free from resentment share and feed them the “WORD of GOD” not gossip. Encourage and model the principles of God’s Word yourself! This is how you break the cycle of dysfunction. “GOD IS LOVE” HIS WORD is necessary SPIRITUAL FOOD for our souls. GOD is the SPIRIT of TRUTH! HIS WORD IS what quickens (makes alive) the soul! Always remember; “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE” ~

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines resentment as such: “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.” You can feel resentment towards a spouse, parent, child, relative, friend, neighbor, boss, coworker, person of the clergy, abuser or even a stranger. Life is precious. It is far better to readily discuss the matter at hand candidly and respectfully.

Many wait too long and allow the clarity of the facts to diminish. Often the truth is totally distorted and misconstrued. When questioned they will usually go in the direction that is desired. Just know if you do not address the associated issue, resentment will keep you fixated upon a momentary encounter for years. It will rob you from moving forward. A lot of the time the person has no clue that they are “stuck” in an abyss of not liking what was said, done or transferred upon their soul. Know you always have an option to speak Up!

GOD IS OMNIPOTENT!

You really can become whole! You can genuinely smile and mean it. You really can; Let the “JOY of the LORD be your strength” Some people do not have healthy boundaries. They will say and do just about anything. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Discipline yourself to speak when you are in control of your responses. Know when to speak and when to say nothing. God will impart HIS inner PEACE to you as you begin to exercise more self control. Truly having the Lord within our lives really does make a difference. THANK GOD FOR our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS & HIS HOLY SPIRIT!

Always seek to build your character in the eyes of GOD. It is HIS opinion of you that matters most. As you grow in the Lord; Fear no one and walk in meekness. You do not want to compromise your Peace with the Lord! GOD’S PEACE surpasses the understanding of man. So know that many will misunderstand you. Learn to take refuge and rest in the Lord. HIS HOLY SPIRIT is the COMFORTER! Above the LORD is no other. KNOW without doubt that GOD IS OMNIPRESENT!

Do not let resentment become the theme of your life, marriage or relationship! Life is too precious to spend most of it in regrets. Letting go of resentment does not mean that you forget what has happened. Many are quick to say “forgive & forget.” Forgiving does not mean that you should forget. Some things you do not want to forget you want to remember in order to prevent them from happening again. Neither do you have be afraid or paranoid.

Become alert! This can serve to Help you to know when to; “guard your heart!” Don’t let recycled junk become your current habitat. Readily recognize when someone is trying to take you down a path that you don’t have to go down. You do however want to work through any hurt or pain. You do not have to be a life long victim. Release any associated hurt or pain; this way it therefore no longer holds you captive. Today many seek to relive over and over their issues and often seek out others to further enable them. What bands them together is there shared experience. You will hear them over and over talk about their past and then say; you need to forget about what happened? Go figure. They don’t realize that they are actually sending a binary messages. (Yet, they are telling you to forget the past and are constantly bring up their past?) So no don’t forget. You really should want to file it away in a healthy manner so that it no longer becomes a trigger for anger or fear; nor does it have to continue to negatively impact your life.

No! You do not have to seek revenge. Give them and the situation to God. I was taught by a wise Mentor and Mother. God can do a lot more with people than you can. There are many diverse doctrinal beliefs. Some hinder the flow of the SPIRIT… Don’t reinforce dysfunction. GOD is NOT the “Author of Confusion.” Some do not really seek understanding. They rather stay “Stuck.” It is good to spend time alone with the Lord as well as with someone you can “Touch and agree!” Learning how to “BE STILL & KNOW” is precious. You learn how to better respond rather than react.

Self Control is part of the Fruit of God’s Spirit. You really can have genuine inner Peace. I will not compromise my Peace with the Lord in order to be accepted. You do NOT have to force your way. Don’t get pulled into messiness. Pray for increased Discernment. Have Faith in God!

God really can heal you. But you must want to really want to be healed. Believe! It will take some effort on you part… Healing is welcomed because you really do want to become whole!

See part 2

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In HiM we move and live and have our being

“In Him we move and live and have our being” Beauriful Chapel

 

 

There is no way getting around God! You can  try to ignore Him. You can choose not to believe in Him. You can have a surface relationship with Him that makes you feel  comfortable?   You can have a weekend relationship with Him and simply   just attend Worship Services every Sabbath Saturday or Sunday and just go right back to living however it is you please all during the week.   But you will not experience his abiding inner peace.  Or, you can make it your goal to draw closer to Him everyday and  really invite Him into the messiness of your life and build a strong secure solid  intimate relationship with Him.  God will and can give you His peace that surpasses the understanding of man.  It is your choice!  God does not force Himself into your life.

 

Everywhere you are God is there.  He is The Most High God!  He is Omnipresent!

 

“The GOD who made the world and everything in it is The LORD of Heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands.  And He is not served by human hands,  as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all  men life and breath and everything else.  From  one man He made very nation of men, that they should inhabit  the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and  the exact places where they should live.  God did this so  that men would seek Him and perhaps  reach out to Him and find Him though  He is not far from each one of us ‘For in HIM we live and move and have our being.’ As some  of your own poets  have said. ‘We are His offspring.”  Acts 17

 

Christianity is meant to be an ever growing daily life long lifestyle! It means that we are supposed to learn, embrace and implement the principles of His Word within our lives  everyday.  Remember HiM = Him in me!

 

“God is Love!” God is eternal and  so is His Love.  He created us so we could learn how to love, grow spiritually,  enjoy life  His way and extend His love that begins to  flow through us  naturally when we are connected to Him. His love draws others to us.  With love comes much responsibility this is why we must learn to become disciplined.  There is much deception about us due to spiritual warfare. It is important to know that you cannot fool GOD.  Not everyone understands what true love really is. “GOD IS LOVE!” True love does not manipulate!  God’s love is patient, kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record  of wrongs.  His love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  (See  Corinthians 13)  

God’s love does not suffocate. It protects not out of insecurity but out of concern. It was Moses’ Mother who loved him enough to allow him to float down the Nile River in “an ark of bulrushes” to safety. The King of Egypt had given an order for the Hebrew babies to be killed. This is one of many examples. Moses is known as one of the greatest Biblical leaders. For more details See Exodus 2. Take some time to learn more about God’s love in His Word.

Society gets confused between love and lust. God’s Love is Eternal. There is a worldly love that mimics His love. It is selfish not sincere. This is what I call “intoxicating affections.”  It is important to be able to distinguish between the two.  One should pray for spiritual discernment!

 

God created us in His image for a purpose.  It is God’s desire for us to continuously build an ever increasing up close and personal growing relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ.   God has placed a void in all of us that only He can fill. The more we become like  Him we learn how to  better properly love.   God’s spiritual gifts begin to grow and multiply within our lives as we stay connected to Him who is the ultimate source of love.

 

Know that God is totally aware of; where each one of us are or where we are not.  He knows our strengths and weaknesses. As we grow in His Grace and the knowledge of Him our weaknesses diminish as we wholeheartedly embrace and apply the Truth of His Word within our lives. He continuously shapes and mold us in His image. God has given each one of us an inborn natural temperament. He extends His Grace and Love to us daily. He wants us to have better home lives, better marriages, and better families. He even wants you to have better lives if you are single. He wants all of us to have better relationships with one another as the family of God. He does not want us to conform to the ways of this word. Nor does He want us to compromise HIs principles. He wants us to have better  healthier worship services, work, school, play  and recreation environments as well. God did not create us to become puppets. He wants us to become whole! God wants what is best for us in every area of our lives. But all too often He is left out of the equation when deciding what we want and what really is best for us.

 

Too often the preservation of our traditions, careers, jobs, recreational & religious activities, and lifestyles are more important than what God wants for us. As long as we invite His presence into whatever we are doing He will keep us on the Narrow Path. God wants to be a part of every area of our lives. All of God’s Word is true! God does not need us, but  we all certainly  need Him through Eternity. This is why He has given us Christ Jesus as Lord and Savior. It is only with Him can we overcome sin. Sin separates us from Go. It is each individuals choice to accept Him as Savior and Lord. Just take a look around this world He has made and see the results of “doing your own thing.” Perilous times are upon us. Notice all the extreme tragedies… Things have gone  much too far. But if you check out God’s Word you will find that there is “nothing new under the sun.” 

God has been patient with us. With the Lord there is always hope!

 

God has created each of us with a plan in mind. He has; “Blessed us in the Heavenly realms with every spiritual blessings in Christ. Jesus for He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight…”  Ephesians 1.   In the Lord we can discover everything that we will ever need for life & living. The problem is we allow life to get in the way.

 

We cannot change anything that has happened. But we can always begin anew,  learning  invaluable life lessons that  can help us  become better people, once we really begin to include God in the equation rather than as an afterthought. This does not mean that everything will always be just fine.  Actually just the opposite the spiritual warfare is ongoing and it is designed to rock your world. It becomes heightened. But guess what when you  truly build  or begin to build your foundation on the Lord Jesus Christ you then become grounded and rooted within Him; “The Solid Rock.” 

Things are not always as they appear.  Life takes on a deeper meaning when you realize that with Him you have Eternal life.   I always say; “I do not want the Lord to be a stranger when I see Him face to face.”  The Lord will help you make it through ALL the challenges that life presents.  In His time He will “Work all   things together for the GOOD!”

Few really like healthy confrontation. They become evasive and avoid dealing with the problem unless or until they are angry. From a counseling point of view I find it very helpful in resolving issues. It easily squashes gossip. It is healthy to seek to resolve issues. This is how we become spiritually mature. Quite often a lot of garbage gets on the line and things become distorted. It is important to always be willing to take responsibility for what you say. Therefore say what you mean and mean what you say. This should never be done in a malicious way. Self control is the better part of valor. It is also part of the Fruit of the Spirit. The intent and motive should always be to improve and enhance the quality of a relationship. It can be quite rewarding when confrontation is handled properly. Redemptive confrontation is good!

God has given us His Word as a life manual. He loves us so much that He allowed His only begotten Son Jesus Christ to come to earth wrapped in a sinless body of flesh, live a victorious sinless life, suffer & die upon the cross, then raise  Him from the dead  with all power and  overcome sin for us.    Now that’s  ultimate POWER!  He took back the power from the  unseen principalities…  It is because of His great love for us that He made it possible for us to be reconciled back to our Heavenly Father!   WOW!  We no longer  have to live being a slave to sin.  Sin  is what separates us from God.  You never have to be alone;  because  everywhere we  are God is there! 

God’s love makes us stronger.  His Word teaches us “Finally be strong in  The Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggles are not against flesh and blood…”  Ephesians 6.  We can learn to “overcome evil with GOOD”  But it is your choice? It is time to really start living your life everyday to please God rather than being a slave to sin, or conforming to the ways of this world.   Instead be transformed by the renewing of your mind!  However, we must learn to love God’s way,  humble ourselves, repent whenever necessary  and call upon Him to help us rise above sin that wants to separate us from the Lord! This also why we all need Jesus Christ as Savior & Lord! God has not left us alone to fend for ourselves. Thank You Lord for Your precious Holy Spirit! So get busy and  always remember this;  Through Jesus Christ we have the Victory!

 

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Saved or Safe?


Just say you are saved. You don’t really have to mean it. If you just say it, this will be sufficient. We just say things all of the time. We go through the formality. “Good morning!” “Good evening!” “How are you?” Is it really a good morning or evening? Do you really want to know how the person is doing? We often adopt behaviors that appear to be socially accepted. But they are often quite superficial. No, I’m not saying that every time you see someone just give them an in-depth historical oration of your current list of woes. The point I’m trying to make is that just saying something doesn’t mean it’s so!

When we accept Christ as our personal Savior it means we invite Him into our lives. His presence of light shines on the darkness in our life and allows us the opportunity to draw close to Him or to choose to stay in darkness. Often we establish unhealthy patterns in our lives. We don’t really want to change we just want someone or something to make us feel good.

“Behold the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save, neither His ear heavy, it cannot hear; But your iniquities (sins) have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid His face from you, that He will not hear. For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue hath muttered perverseness.” (Isaiah 59:1-3) Breaking patterns can be painful.

Why do we need a Savior? The world is full of evilness. It wants to pull you in anyway it can. We are in the world but we are not supposed to be of the world. When Jesus Christ is Lord of your life you can access His power. He has the power to save us from the unhealthy patterns and pitfalls of sin that besets us. Let’s get it straight! The Comforter is not to keep us comfortable in sin. It is not a blanket (excuse my pun) to cover any abject behavior. So help me understand why it is socially acceptable within the Christian lifestyle to say anything, do anything and live any kind of way and still say “I’M SAVED?”

Well I am sorry, but the scripture says “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Romans 10:9-10). Webster says to believe means to have a firm conviction as to the goodness of something. Romans says with the heart man believeth unto righteousness. I guess doing what I think is right is righteousness? WRONG!

We sing that we are soldiers. But what kind of armor does the Lord tell us to wear that you may be able to withstand in the evil day? Your loins are to be girded with truth. No it’s okay to believe anything anybody says especially those who say and do anything anywhere! You are to wear the breastplate of righteousness. But you hold it up with adultery and fornication. Your feet shod with peace. But I will cut you up or punch you out anywhere anytime. But above all that I will take the shield of faith and hide, alcoholism, drug addiction, covetousness……and trust I can quench the fiery darts of the wicked. Then to top it off I’ll put on the helmet of salvation. When I say I have salvation I’m safe. I don’t think so!

This may seem a bit sarcastic but it’s frightening to think one supposes he can prepare for spiritual warfare and not adorn the true spiritual armor. After all just say you are saved. The SWORD of the SPIRIT which is the WORD will clean you up and prepare you for spiritual battle. It is only through a personal relationship with JESUS and He is the WORD wrapped in flesh; that you can overcome sin, anything or anybody that comes against you in the world.

Don’t think for a minute you are not vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy. The enemy in this battle is so clever that he will try to make you comfortable in your sins. It does not matter who you are. He will try to tell you loving you is giving you what you want and making excuses for your shortcomings. This kind of love (which really isn’t love) will kill you. By the way he never takes responsibility for his actions. He always tries to distract you by saying, if you just give me this or if you would just do that I wouldn’t be in this mess. Pray for discernment. Many enable rather than help people to become FREE.There are many casualties that have an erroneous idea of what love really is. The WHEAT and the Tares are growing together. This goes from the pulpit to the door. Spiritual warfare is about taking a stand. But for assured success it must be on the WORD of GOD!

Jeremiah was a prophet who stood amidst some dark days. The Lord told him; “Be not afraid of their faces; for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord. Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold I have put my words in thy mouth. See I have this day set thee over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, to build, and to plant.” Jeremiah 1:8-10)

IF JESUS CAME BACK TODAY ARE YOU READY?

Did you know Jesus was mistaken for the gardener upon His resurrection? (John 20:15) We must address the garden of sin in our lives. We must root up the things that GOD does not consider righteous. Our belief in Him (according to Romans) should result in righteousness. Jesus is coming back! But we won’t be able to mistake Him for the gardener this time. He has provided us HIS WORD to clean us up. Don’t be safe, or sorry; BE SAVED. He is coming back for HIS church without SPOT OR WRINKLE.


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