Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self- Control” Part 9 No. 3 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9 No. 3

Trust and good communication are crucial values within a great marriage. Transparency and intimacy are built upon trust. It is really important to not rush into making any decisions that will impact the rest of your life. Take time and first consider the consequences! There is always much to learn about one another. Keep your marriage exciting. Progressively work on building good communication skills. You can maintain the spark that brought you together. Or if you have allowed it to dwindle you can rekindle it.

Here are few final things to keep in mind

Make it a point to have some good healthy quality discussions before you jump heart first into marriage. If you are already married take the time to find out how your spouse feels, thinks and processes their thoughts and emotions. Please don’t just assume. Feelings need to be validated.

Have some deep heartfelt discussions. You need to really know what one another values.

You are two different individuals who must learn to walk together. It is possible but it takes commitment and transparency. Emotional intimacy is important in marriage.

Each marriage has its own unique dynamics. Here are a few suggestions questions to ponder and discuss!

What are your likes and dislikes? How do feel about children? What are your beliefs in regards to discipline? How do you feel about the manner in why you both handle discipline? How do you both resolve conflict? Who or what do they believe in? How do they feel about God and prayer? What are your spouses moral standards or convictions or do they have any at all… Is faithfulness important? What does it really mean to be faithful? Are there any abuse issues that need to be addressed? Are there any addictions? Is divorce an option? These are a few of the many things you want to discuss and ponder in order to build a better marriage!

When you both share values and goals it helps to build a healthy emotional bond. This also accelerates your marriage to higher functioning level.

The growing trend today is to simply just change partners when you are not happy. Infidelity is a big No no. It is possible but few marriages recover. Trust has been broken and it must be restored or this will become a pattern. As an adult you have the right to decide, but you always should consider the long and short term consequences. Divorce is inevitable when not fully addressed.

I recommend taking some time to rid yourself of some of the baggage that you have been carrying before jumping into another marriage. All too often it is just pushed to the side only to rise and cause even greater problems the second or even third time around. If you are already married work with what you have. Take inventory and then set some goals together. It’s important to make plans together. Your marriage won’t just work itself out. The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. The TRUTH is its green because they water it consistently and take care of it. Your marriage will be what you both make it.

Now is the time to begin to exercise self-control as well as all the rest of the “Fruit of the Spirit.” After all you have made a Covenant with one another and to God… This makes your marriage a Holy agreement. Therefore seek quality Holy Help whenever necessary.

Happiness is a choice, so you both need to decide to make this a mutual goal. There will be highs and lows. So always make love deposits of care, concern, love, respect, romance and thoughtfulness to your marriage. This will help you weather the storms. You cannot change one another. But you can create a healthy atmosphere that fosters change. There is always room for improvement in all of us. You can help bring out the better qualities in one another. Or you can bring out the worst in one another. Take note of your personal progress. Work on becoming the “Best You” Your marriage should always be a priority. Working together will have amazing results!

Exercising self-control is a choice. Rather than tearing one another down all the time build one another up! Chastise one another in love instead to encourage self improvement. Withdraw from nagging. Have some good healthy dialogue and let what has hindered your marriage to this point go and move forward as partners. No you do not go forward in denial. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. It means that you have decided to let whatever it is go, and move forward not holding the offense against them. The past becomes a reminder of your decision to let go and move on. You make a point to consciously let go of the old and make way for the new. Each day now becomes a new day for building a better marriage. Welcome embracing all the “Fruit of the Spirit” everyday. I assure you that in the long run, you will be much happier. You can do it; because happiness is a choice!

By the way, if you are divorced, in the process of a divorce married or remarried try really hard to not involve the children in your disputes. Please don’t use them as message carriers. It is selfish to use them for your emotional support. After all, your first priority should be for their emotional wellbeing. The truth is you two were not able to resolve your conflicts. Children are more observant than you think. You have been in an emotional battle and it has spawned some residual hurt feelings. Their resentment will surface in many ways. Give your children the opportunity to express themselves. But it is important that they are encouraged to be responsible and respectful. Model to them the “Fruit of the Spirit” as you all move forward yet separately.

Be careful of who you receive counsel from or who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life. Be accountable to God for your behavior. Make sure that you own up to your contribution of whatever problems or issue your marriage is experiencing. Marriage is a team effort. It takes both of you working together not against one another.

Make it a priority to take time to; “BE STILL and KNOW”
Psalm 46

As a believer it should always be more important to you to please GOD.
This does not mean getting caught up in activities… You must spend time with the Lord in His Word and draw closer to Him. There really is nothing more important. GOD IS OMNISCIENT! When you seek HIM above all else there are marvelous benefits. Your body is the Temple of God. Think and ponder for a moment; God is the Creator of Heaven and earth. He is the Creator of man and woman. No one knows better than He.
He can and will direct you in every area of your life.

Marriage God’s way can and does work. But you both must be willing to mutually embrace godly principles and actually implement them within your marriage. God wants to be a part of every area of your life. God does not want you to spend your life unhappy. But He does want you to take seriously the vows that you both made to Him. Everyday is a precious “GIFT” from the Lord. What you do with your life is your gift to Him… So get busy building a marriage that lasts. May your efforts in Holy Matrimony Prevail!

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control…” Galatians 5. May they manifest, multiply and abound within your lives and your marriage!

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 1 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass
Part 9
No. 1 of 3

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness need to be accompanied with self-control. All of the above are components of the “Fruit of the Spirit” that manifests within us as we truly embrace God within our lives. As we consistently spend time in the Word of God and begin to actually implement His principles we grow spiritually. There are major benefits when you both embrace and employ them within your marriage.

We have finally made it to self-control! Although it is the last one listed it is a top priority. There are 9 components to the Fruit of the Spirit. Part 9 of this miniseries will conclude in 3 parts so bear with me and read on. Your comments are welcomed!

When you married or whenever you decide to marry it is important to know that marriage is a Covenant Agreement. You made or will make a solemn vow to love your spouse. True love lasts forever! Love is a crucial essential element of a good marriage. It is important to know how your spouse defines and interprets love! It is even more important to know that “GOD IS LOVE!”

Search the scriptures assiduously to arrive at a better understanding of what and who love really is. Learn from Your Creator who is Love. True love continues to grow and flourish. Like God it is eternal. Self-control is a component of love. Love will help you weather the storms of life. It enables you to rise to the peaks and go through the tempestuous valley experiences that often occur, when building a strong, intimate, healthy, satisfying marriage that endures the tests of time.

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit will build a good healthy strong loving marriage with a strong sure foundation.

Self-Control is so very important! It will help you in every area of your life! Self-control allows you to be controlled from within rather than by any sort of outer, physical, mental, or emotional remote control. You simply don’t just automatically react to anything or anyone and let it trigger an impulsive response. Instead you choose to respond in a responsible manner. Or whenever you do react impulsively you are readily willing to admit that you were at fault. This is exercising self-control. Your heart also becomes disciplined. The more you walk in self-control the more it becomes a part of who you are.

Remember practice makes permanent!

Wow! We have finally reached the finale in our quest to encourage you to embrace the “Fruit of the Spirit” within your marriage. Once you truly have GOD in your life you have unlimited access to a plethora of possibilities. He is OMNIPOTENT! The more you practice self-control the better you become at exercising it personally. Remember and embrace; “I can DO ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME.”

Faithfully spend time with the Lord in HIS WORD!

Self-control defined is: “the ability to exercise restraint over one’s feelings reactions etc. The act of denying yourself and controlling your impulses.” Keep this definition in mind as we continue on.
Part 9
No. 2 of 3

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