Amazon FREE Book Giveaway 2/13/18- How Do I Love Thee Food For Thought Before You Say I DO

How Compatible are We? Ready for Intimacy? Commitment? The Marriage Bed? In-laws or Out-laws?

Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage. They have not taken the time to have candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. Planning your wedding is important, but so is planning your marriage.

How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage.

Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple which are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.


Click Here to get your FREE copy of this e-book from Amazon.

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 4

Part 4

55 – 60% Of Marriages are Ending in Divorce

I remember jokingly telling my husband years ago that we were going to be looked at, as “there goes that married heterosexual couple.” I am thankful to say God has blessed us over and over again during four plus decades of commitment. Truly our Lord is Faithful. This is why I know that it is only by His grace it has been possible. Marriage God’s Way Works!

The Supreme Court of the United States has voted against the Word of God! They support alternative “same sex unions.” Your choice is your choice. However, It is important to know that God does not sanction “same sex unions.” Marriage between one man and one woman is God’s Design for Marriage. Marriage God’s Way is Holy Matrimony ordained by God!

We live in a time when 55- 60% of marriages are ending in divorce! I understand that we live in difficult times. The spiritual warfare will do every thing it can to promote and construct distorted views of marriage as favorable. Many couples choose to live together rather than marry. Many marry and don’t really know what they are getting into! Many marry and continue to have mutual relationships outside of marriage.

Rekindle the Affections that Brought you Together

Couples are pulled in many directions because of the pulls of sexual freedom. Just know it is a seducing spirit that wants to deceive you. Birth of illicit pleasure can often lead to death of a marriage.

At some point it will result in regret!

If you are married and you know something is not right, please take inventory. Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich! The problem won’t just go away. Don’t front it. Rekindle the affections that brought you together. Be more concerned about what God thinks! Find out what God has to say about marriage. Begin to take whatever steps are necessary to take back control of your life.

Proverbs tells us that you cannot “take fire into your bosom and not be burned.” WOW! Earnestly repent and stop indulging in sinful behavior. Run quickly from anyone who comforts you in sexual sin! They will love you to death (which is not love at all) if you have been playing with fire please stop! You will actually feel a lot better when you get things right with God. Remember His blood can cleanse you from all unrighteousness! Just know God is a forgiving God!

TRUE LOVE does not sanction wrong

Men and women vary in their priorities in the area of sexual needs. Men in general have intercourse higher on their lists of priorities. For instance it may be the number one preference for a man. It may be the second or fourth for the woman. Her first need may be affection. Of course meaning affection from her husband. His second may be financial security.

You see many often confuse their needs. and wants. Together you can fulfill your needs by working together as a team. You can also work together on you wants. There is power in unity! Always remember that God honors marriage.

When you properly practice sex within the confines of marriage you can experience true spiritual and sexual fulfillment in harmony. You reinforce a permanent bond.

No you do not have to become cold, reserved, indifferent and or rigid. But you do become disciplined! You respect natural boundaries. If you are cold or frigid don’t stay that way. You can learn how to properly guard your heart! Love is patient and kind. You can also learn how to open your heart, mind and soul to your committed spouse. You can also extend sincere love to others especially when you are fulfilled in your marriage!

When you truly Love, you do not just yoke yourself up with anything or anyone. A proper sexual relationship is like “epoxy!” When the two adhesive components come together they form a permanent bond that technically should be very difficult or impossible to break. I use this illustration because it visually represents “what God has joined together let not man put asunder.” It is a healthy bond that few really understand. Love always protects it does not suffocate! You can really trust one another!

If you are single and desire to be married guard your heart until someone who is willing to grow in Love & Life with you comes along. Start each day fresh and present your needs to the Lord. Cling to the Lord and trust Him to supply your needs until that right someone comes along. Really begin to value the person you are becoming. No one can be a better you than you. Don’t sell yourself short. Life is precious and each day is a Gift from the Lord. You are not alone and He is there for you willing to go every step of the way…

Love does not sanction wrong. It is within a healthy marriage one learns properly how to have their sexual desires fulfilled. As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is room for improvement in ALL of us. You cannot change anything that has already happened. But you can press forward knowing that GOD LOVES YOU! If you have not already, begin developing a relationship where you can mutually get your needs met. There is a oneness that one can experience in marriage that GOD sanctions. When you are truly fulfilled you will have no need or desire to indulge in extra marital affairs. You understand and practice the benefits of self control. You embrace the Truth of God’s Word and seek HIS Will for your life and your marriage. You will also have great security knowing that you are honoring God in your relationship!

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 5

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!

Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 5

Time is precious and many prefer to spend it unhappy and tethered to their pain. Not because they want to but because they have not chosen to reach to something greater than themselves. First you must remember and truly believe, “I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me!” Now begin to shake it loose! Don’t just say it; do it!

God has a better way! Introspection is healthy when you look inward to attend to your part of the problem. Rather than merely find fault with the offending party you desire to seek and to resolve your own inner conflict. If you have been victimized know that the offending party has responded to you foolishly and irresponsibly. Your desire is to grow beyond the pain and or shame of the experience and mature moving forward from the painful “Life Lesson” on to another level of understanding. You have now learned how to better guard your heart and keep yourself out of harm’s way. You now will focus upon concentrating your efforts to get better and doing things differently.

Hmm, you just may even elect to take a Self Defense class to further build your confidence.

You cannot change what has happened but you can step out on Faith and really trust GOD!

Let love arise! There is no emotion stronger or more powerful than love. “God is love!” Few really understand what true love is… There is absolutely nothing that God is not aware of. He knows everything that has ever happened to you and everyone else and He still loves you. Nurture your desire to live to please God! This of course is more easier said than done. Keep in mind God created you and He has a purpose just for you. No matter how similar we may appear He breaks the mold every time.

You are The Designer’s original. Strive to become the “Best You!” Therefore diligently seek to discover His true love that only comes from Him. Embrace it and it will ripen and mature within you and the Fruit of His Spirit will continue to multiply and manifest within your life. His Light will begin to shine even brighter through you. However, pride must step aside and humility must come to the forefront. How? By exercising discipline and self-control. Know this; “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!

I will say this again; Time is precious and life is too short to spend the majority of it unhappy and full of resentment. Do not let others pull you into their unhappiness. Instead place your focus and trust upon the LORD. HE wants you to be strong, healthy & happy. Life will always present its challenges. Invite God into the messiness of every area of your life and allow Him to help you become “more than a conqueror.” Why? Only, “He can give you His Peace that surpasses the understanding of man.” This is also why we all so need Jesus Christ as Savior & Lord! “He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly” in every way!

You can recover from resentment. Let go of that load and yoke up with the Lord. He can balance and lift your load. You have to trust God enough to let Him replace that void. So commence to take those bricks of resentment off your back and begin today building a better future taking control of your emotions. You can not make someone else choose happiness. You cannot make them be loyal or committed to you or to the Lord. But you can commit yourself to the Lord! You can build your hope and trust upon the Most High God! I assure you that you will become a lot happier!

Now since you “get it!” Get busy nurturing yourself and start moving forward to wholeness today because tomorrow is not promised. With the Lord by your side;”Be as wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove” Matthew 10. Keep moving forward towards wholeness helps you release what has been and make way for what will be. Keep stepping towards growing and maturing beyond resentment! Allow God His place within your life so His spiritual fruit can begin to internally ripen within your inner being. The Fruit of His Spirit is; “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” See Galatians 5. Forgive your self, let go of the pain and move forward. As you choose the path of freedom and wholeness you can begin to enjoy life leaving the resentment behind! God has a plan for you and He does not want you bogged down in resentment. Now that you “get it” let go and really let God!”

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Growing and maturing beyond resentment Part 1

Marriage God's way Works!

Marriage God’s way Works!


Growing and maturing beyond resentment

Part 1

Resentment can kill or deteriorate any marriage, home, family, congregation, or relationship if it is not properly dealt with. It is like leaven. It spoils… Resentment means you feel over and over the pain or distaste associated with an act or deed that has been made against you.

Don’t let others continue to disrespect you or undermine who you are becoming in the Lord. Especially when they have showed you over and over who they are. I say “becoming” because we never arrive; there is always room for improvement as long as the Lord has us on this side of Heaven. Pray for discernment. We actually do arrive; when we reach Heaven!

Counseling entails objective listening. Be a good listener whenever people are talking or speaking. When they say something that you know is not true it will give you a clearer picture of who they are and how they feel about themselves as well as what influences them. There is a difference between gossip and having a desire to resolve conflict and set people free. Or if you simply want to control them. Some have an addiction to control. If you want increased discernment you must truly seek the will of the Lord. The Holy Spirit; His Comforter wants to lead us to all Truth!

Know the difference between the works of the flesh and the FRUIT of the SPIRIT!

Avoiding conflict or not confronting how you feel and just stowing it away causes resentment to grow and fester. It is healthier to validate your feelings. Then put them in the proper perspective. You can not change anything that has happened. But you can get release from what has been. Resentment hurts you more than it hurts the person you are resenting! “Iron sharpens iron”

Many mistake acceptance for Love. They will do whatever; to be accepted. But are not at peace when they are alone. This also deepens their depression. Some are so use to abuse that they cannot recognize genuine concern or proper correction. Oh how we need to allow GOD HIS rightful place. God has a better way. Live before an “AUDIENCE of ONE!” To help others become free from resentment share and feed them the “WORD of GOD” not gossip. Encourage and model the principles of God’s Word yourself! This is how you break the cycle of dysfunction. “GOD IS LOVE” HIS WORD is necessary Spiritual Food for our souls. GOD is the SPIRIT of TRUTH! HIS WORD IS what quickens (makes alive) the soul! Always remember; “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE” ~

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines resentment as such: “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.” You can feel resentment towards a spouse, parent, child, relative, friend, neighbor, boss, coworker, person of the clergy, abuser or even a stranger. Life is precious. It is far better to readily discuss the matter at hand candidly and respectfully.

Many wait too long and allow the clarity of the facts to diminish. Often the truth is totally distorted and misconstrued. When questioned they will usually go in the direction that is desired. Just know if you do not address the associated issue, resentment will keep you fixated upon a momentary encounter for years. It will rob you from moving forward. A lot of the time the person has no clue that they are “stuck” in an abyss of not liking what was said, done or transferred upon their soul.

GOD IS OMNIPOTENT!

You really can become whole! You can genuinely smile and mean it. Let the “JOY of the LORD be your strength” Some people do not have healthy boundaries. They will say and do just about anything. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Discipline yourself to speak when you are in control of your responses. Know when to speak and when to say nothing. God will impart HIS inner peace to you as you begin to exercise more self control. THANK GOD FOR JESUS!

Always seek to build your character in the eyes of GOD. It is HIS opinion of you that matters most. As you grow in the Lord; Fear no one and walk in meekness. You do not want to compromise your Peace with the Lord! GOD’S PEACE surpasses the understanding of man. Learn to take refuge and rest in the Lord. HIS HOLY SPIRIT is the COMFORTER! Above the LORD is no other. Truly GOD IS OMNIPRESENT

Do not let resentment become the theme of your life, marriage or relationship! Letting go of resentment does not mean that you forget what has happened. Many are quick to say “forgive & forget.” Forgiving does not mean that you should forget. Some things you do not want to forget you want to remember in order to prevent them from happening again. They can serve to Help you to know when to; “guard your heart!” Don’t let recycled junk become your current habitat. You do however want to work through the hurt or pain associated with it so it therefore no longer holds you captive. Today many seek to relive over and over their issues and often seek out others to further enable them. You really should want to file it away in a healthy manner so that it no longer becomes a trigger for anger nor does it negatively impact your life.

Healing is welcomed because you really do want to become whole!

See part 2

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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 2 of 3

Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”

Couple in Grass

Part 9

No. 2 of 3

Marriage is a spiritual battle ground in this 21st century. Look around you! Division wants to nest itself within your marriage; so be aware! Have you noticed the frequency in which couples are divorcing? Why is this? Many enter into marriage without first really getting to know this person who they have promised to love and cherish.

Take the time to get to know one another better rather than to simply co exist. For your marriage to endure it is important to build a strong foundation.

Self-control is a viable component of a strong healthy marriage! There are many forces at works to create havoc within your marriage. One must pray for discernment! It is important that you make your marriage and one another’s wellbeing a priority. Self-control when consistently exercised will help both of you enhance and safeguard your marriage.

Marriage is serious business and is not for immature people. Immaturity is ageless so just because you are getting older does not necessarily mean that you are ready. There are some things you need to consider. Selfishness and either spouse being self-centered will hinder your marriage from growing in a healthy manner.

Marriage ideally is for two imperfect people who desire to mature and want to grow together and become better individuals working together as a committed team. “ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of GOD…” Therefore no matter how much we grow in the Lord’ grace there is always room for improvement as long as He has us on this side of Heaven. Oneness in marriage is actually a harmonic journey. Trust and security are components of a good solid marriage. You are aware that the Lord is Omnipresent. You reverently fear Him so you not only respect your marriage but other marriages as well. Marriage should not be taken lightly. In the spiritual sense “two become one” as they are united and committed in their desire to grow in love. True Love has no end.

Always remember that the WORD teaches us; “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” Matthew 5. Each spouse should seek to become perfect in the Lord. This is not an unattainable goal. It requires dedication and perseverance. However it is quite often misunderstood from a carnal perspective. Becoming perfect in the Lord means to become complete in HIM. Everything that you will ever need for Life & Living can be discovered in an ever growing personal intimate relationship with the Lord. He would not tell us to be perfect if it were not so. In of ourselves we will always fall short. HIS Holy Spirit is always present to HELP US. HE IS THE ULTIMATE COMFORTER. As you begin to really embrace the TRUTH of HIS WORD you can responsively say; “I CAN DO ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME” Philippians 4. It is our choice to reach for HIS HOLY HELP!

In marriage you learn to give up “me ness for we ness!”

Self-control helps you to honor your marriage vows. You choose to not let the world and it’s ever changing morality influence your commitment to one another. Instead together you elect to influence the world. You confront issues in love. It is important to not let resentment fester. You embrace your vows and commence to live out your lives working together through any difficulties. You realize that it is mere spiritual warfare designed to pull you away from your Center. When God is truly the Center of your marriage, Your love blossoms and continuously grows as you soar through life and enjoy the many mountaintop experiences as well.

The Fruit of the Spirit are essential virtues that have precious intrinsic worth that will solidify your marriage. “GOD IS LOVE” Love is part of the Fruit of HIS Spirit. LOVE is truly a priceless GIFT from the LORD. When you both strive to build a healthy living environment that welcomes love, harmony; trust and respect together you really can build a fulfilling, satisfying strong marriage.

A godly marriage is Holy Matrimony.

Part 9
No. 3 0f 3

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How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” – Kindle Countdown Promotion

How Compatible are We? Ready for Intimacy? Commitment? The Marriage Bed? In-laws or Out-laws?

How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage.Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple which are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.

A Kindle Countdown promotion will run on Amazon from 1/2/2016 – 1/9/2016. During this period you can get a limited-time discount on this premarital book.

Starting 1/2/2016 you can download a copy of the book starting at $ .99. Click on the book to visit Amazon and pick up your copy. The sooner you purchase, the larger the discount.

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Why Marriage God’s Way is Important Part 1


Why marriage God’s Way is Important!

Part 1

There are an endless expansive array of life lessons. We will encounter many upon traveling this remarkable journey during the course of life. If you are a believer getting to better know our Lord, Creator & Maker; “The Most High God” is most important. It is imperative to spend personal time in His Word! It is through His Word we are better able to understand why He has created us. Within His Word we are taught how to better navigate through the seen and unseen spiritual warfare that is designed to take us off course.

 

A little history how marriage began

Early on in His Word we are taught the origins of mankind and marriage. We can learn much from Adam & Eve who were the first married couple. The Lord created Adam first. He made them as one! The Lord God formed man out of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the Lord planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there He put the man that He had formed.” Genesis 2 The Garden of Eden is where the Lord intended for Adam & Eve to live a well-rounded abundant life. Here in Eden God had provided them within this marvelous lush green haven everything that they would ever need. He told the man Adam to attend the garden. He even told Adam “that from every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat. But of the tree of the knowledge of GOOD & evil thou shalt not eat; for in that day thou eatest thereof thou shalt die. And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him.” Genesis 2

 

 

The Lord then provided Adam with a wife. She was created from his very own rib bone that was taken while he was asleep. The Lord brought the woman to Adam. Here we learn about God’s original superlative model for marriage. Did you know it was Adam that named Eve…

 

One Man + One woman = Marriage God’s Way!

 

 

Marriage God's Way = One Man & One Woman

Marriage God’s Way = One Man & One Woman

God has not changed His unique design. From the marital union of Adam and Eve, mankind that we know as the human race was birthed into existence by God. God told them to be fruitful and multiply.

My how things have changed in this 21st century. I realize that the Supreme Court voted against the WORD of GOD! But we who say we are believers have made a commitment to GOD’S WORD. That is why we are called believers. GOD is gracious and gives us all the freedom to choose. We must pray for discernment so we can better righteously judge what is or is not of the Lord!

 

 

Adam was an extremely highly intelligent man, so much so that he even named all of the animals. He was given dominion over everything that the Lord had created. In Adam’s original state he was innocent, sinless and created in the image of God. The Lord spoke to Adam directly. There are numerous references within the Word that confirms the origins of marriage between a man & woman. Adam is the forefather of the human race. Eve was actually named by her husband Adam, but this was only after she was seduced by the serpent. Before she and Adam were known as one and the same.

Eve was deceived and listened to the devil who was in the form of a serpent, instead of obeying God. Adam named her Eve because she was now to become the mother of all the living. Before she sinned GOD brought forth life peacefully from Adam. Now she would bear children in pain. She willfully chose to eat the forbidden fruit when God had adamantly told Adam that they were not supposed to do so. Eve then convinced Adam to do the same.

Adam knew better. Because of their disobedience, sin now enters their lives. They now longer feel welcomed in their God given Garden of Eden as their glorious habitat and their sin separates them from God. Therefore they hide and become ashamed for the very first time. They then hide in the trees from God who had given them absolutely everything! Adam & Eve hear the sound of the Voice of The Lord while He was walking in the garden. Adam and Eve were then banished from the Garden of Eden.

Today we can learn much from this lesson. It is important to know the Word of God for yourself. God knows what is best for all of us. Eve should have ignored the serpent and held fast to the Lord’s command. We must hold fast to our marriage vows. We should listen to God rather than to the world. Invite God into the center of your marriage. When we honor our marriage vows we honor God. We do not have to repeat the past but daily seek to improve our future. When you honor your “Own” husband you honor God. Always encourage one another to embrace the Will & Way of God!

God is The Great “I AM” and there is no other above HIM. HE is A GOD of order and we so need HIS WORD & HIS HOLY SPIRIT to guide us in the path of righteousness.

THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR OMNIPRESENCE!

 

Part 2

Kindle Edition

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Food For Thought Before You Say I DO”

Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage. They have not taken the time to have candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. Planning your wedding is important, but so is planning your marriage.

How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage.

Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple, which are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.

Now available for purchase from the Amazon Kindle Store. You can also read it for FREE with Kindle Unlimited.

Kindle Edition $2.99

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Learning To Lean Not To My Own Understanding

January 16, 2012 by  
Filed under life

Trust is a very crucial ingredient in any relationship. When you have trust in someone or something you are confident that you can rely on them or assurance that it will do or function as it should. The trust one has in the Lord supersedes anything else. You trust a chair when you sit in it? When you trust the Lord you begin to realize that your life is not your own. Upon this revelation you begin the process of slowly and surely relinquishing the things that inhibit your spiritual growth. Your desire to please Him becomes your main priority. You are also actually better able to relate to those around you.

Proverbs 3 says “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” Of course this is easier said than done. But there is a significant value lesson in this Truth. What does it mean when we say all? Is it not to imply that we exclusively, wholly or entirely commit to whatever it is we are trusting? Trust is developed over a period of time within a relationship. Once trust is developed it brings about a certain stability that is indicative of the relationship. It also yields a sense of security and permanency.

When you truly put your trust in God you can unquestionably rely on Him. God is not like us He does not change! There is no doubt that He will do just what He says. In order to know what He says you must take time in His Word. This is also why it is so important to develop an ongoing relationship with Him. God knows our hearts. Before we even ask Him anything He knows what is best for us. To the degree you exercise your trust in Him you begin to grow spiritually.

You know that whatever happens in time (even the bad stuff) GOD WILL work it out for your GOOD!

You begin to lean on Him more. Your understanding begins to open and you become more aware of people, places and anything surrounding you. Your insight and perceptions of Him also broadens. You embrace His Son Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord! When this happens your desire to acknowledge Him more and more in your life is cultivated. You gradually begin to take fewer detours and shift your priorities. You are able to relinquish many of the things and plans that are contrary to what His plan is for your life. No, This does not mean you become rigid or legalistic. Just the opposite you acquire a new found freedom. Remember this type of trust opens your understanding. You consciously realize that you are fully exposed to God. “Those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” I Corinthians 4

Trust again is a very crucial ingredient in any relationship. On our country’s currency it even says “In God we Trust.” But do we really? I often wonder since there has been a plethora of attempts to remove this statement from money; has this type of reasoning contributed somewhat to the overall downfall in our economy that has resulted in a universal recession? Due to the shifting in our ever changing moral barometer, has this too resulted in less trust? Does this gesture display a lack of trust in the Creator who our founding pioneers founded this country upon? It is important to always give credit where it is due. It is always important to keep in mind from whence we have come.

According to Proverbs it is quite clear how very important it is “to TRUST in GOD in ALL our ways” in order for our path to be made straight.” I believe all of God’s Word! As I grow spiritually daily it is my prayer that I continually shift to leaning on Him and not my own understanding. As His child I want to “acknowledge Him in ALL my ways so He will make my path straight.” Life is precious and trusting in God, our Creator and Maker of heaven and earth the Author and Finisher of our FAITH, you really can’t go wrong. It is important to remember from whence we have come…

“TO GOD BE THE GLORY!”

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