Grief – (Grieving Is Emotionally Painful) Part 1

GRIEF!

Whenever you or a love one experiences a traumatic situation, significant loss, serious illness or death it is normal to experience grief.

 

There are many other types of losses that occur in life that can result in grief as well. Recovery issues,  divorce, relationship issues, addiction,  disappointment, financial harships, relocation, career change, natural disasters as well as a miscarriage or abortion can all trigger one to experience a significant degree of grief. We are experiencing worldwide a plethora of adverse climatic weather conditions, pestilence & plagues. This has resulted in a multitude of personal loses. Lives, homes, businesses, possessions, and mental wellbeing has been greatly impacted. The initial reaction to any of the above is usually shock accompanied by a feeling of numbness.

 

 

Find solace in GOD while you are grieving

Grief can often result in one feeling a deep sense of overwhelming depression, anger, fear, anxiety, hopelessness and or abandonment. It is also possible to ask “why me?” Anger and resentment may result in feelings of ambivalence. Initially the above symptoms are natural. The passing of time is a partial salve that can and will eventually anesthetize your deep pain.

 

If you are a Christian, finding solace in God’s Word during grief is a great resource to help you maneuver through a plethora of emotions. It is during grief you can actually learn to embrace God’s spiritual comfort. The deep void that one experiences during grief is often unexplainable. So if you don’t feel like talking try spending some quiet time with God. Truly the Lord can help you rise to a level of Joy despite the grief that besets your soul.

 

Make it a point to not intrude upon the privacy of others. 

 

As you truly and earnestly seek God who is the ultimate “Comforter” you can experience His abiding presence. If you are a believer you should know that God’s Word is true. Not some of it but all of it. His promise to “never leave us nor forsake us” must be faithfully embraced in your hour of need. Only He can give you; “His Peace that surpasses the understanding of man.”

 

 

 

Grieving is an emotionally painful process

 

Allowing the one that is grieving to talk freely about how they are feeling is healthy and consoling. Many become depressed and can have a deep sense of guilt. There are two types of guilt; normal and neurotic guilt. Neurotic guilt is based on unrealistic expectations or situations. Deep depression is actually disappointments, and or unresolved anger turned inwardly.  This has begun to burden down their soul. It must  be faced in order to begin the healing process… 

 

It is healthy to allow yourself or  them the freedom to talk about their love one, issue or situation at hand.  It is a choice to move towards healing.

 

Enabling is never healthy. Allowing them to work through their emotions by being there for them or encouraging them to be  active is a good thing. Timing and sensitivity is key. Taking a walk, run or  go jogging may even be relaxing and release some inner tension. During an opportune moment try telling them a humorous story or a funny joke can help lift their spirit momentarily.

 

 

Encourage them in their walk with the Lord

If they don’t already have a relationship with the Lord seek appropriate moments to introduce them to the Lord. Helping them to freely express their feelings and concerns are healthy. Remember everyone is different. Just because you do not see them crying does not mean they are not grieving. Some people elect to privately grieve. Sometimes just doing nothing momentarily is good.

 

Just being there helps. There are times they prefer to just be alone. Don’t force yourself into their private moments. Check in on them when led. A good friend will be patient, sensitive, caring and compassionate and understanding at this time.  Again, just knowing you are there for them can be a great sense of comfort.

 

During the holidays when there are many festive celebrations this can also be a reminder to many of their time of loss. After the holidays pass and all the seasonal excitement has dissipated there may be a resurgence of grief. This too is a natural response. Again try to allow yourself to think of some of the happier times you shared together.

 

Freely cry when necessary yet do not become overwhelmed and allow it to pull you in a deep depression.  The tears will help to naturally  relieve your soul of pressure. Reach out to someone you trust when you feel yourself going in a deep dark place. Depression and sickness can be spawned in the midst of grief. Emotional pain when not dealt with properly can trigger physical illness. Where, what and whom you focus on will make a world of difference.

 

 

GOD still has a purpose for you 

In spite of all the painful things that can happen or has happened in life, there is always something good to think about. God still has you here for a purpose. Some days you might have to take it a moment at a time. Again, please allow yourself to think about some of the cheerful experiences you shared with your love ones. God tells us in Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything. Although painful suffering is a part of life.  You can make it though this. Just think if we did not know sorrow how would we know joy?

 

 

Life can be difficult at times

This may be the last thing you want to hear. But their time on this side of Heaven has expired. They have lived their life here on earth.  Your love one is really in a much better place. They have actually transcended suffering. They have moved on to Heavenly Eternal Life to experience ultimate healing  if they are believers.  If not pray fervently for their souls…  Just maybe in their lasts moments they choose to accept Christ Jesus into their hearts.  When you focus on God you can have joy even in the midst of your grieving. This is why it is so important to develop an intimate daily ongoing personal relationship with Him. This way you can be sure of where you will spend eternity. You can also ejoice knowing; You will see them again. 

 

God does not take pleasure in seeing us suffer. He too knows the ultimate suffering. Remember when HE allowed HIS sinless SON CHRIST JESUS to die on the cross for the sins of the world?  So yes, cry when sorrow besets your soul. But look to the Lord the “Author & Finisher of your Faith” to help you through it. He can help you do what seems impossible.

 

Grief and sorrow are a result of Adam and Eve’s disobedience. When they disobeyed they chose sin, death and grief as a way of life for mankind. This is why it is important to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. Because of His death and resurrection we now have direct access to the Father. 

See Part 2