SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 3


Part 3

Pray for Discernment

When I went to seminary I was somewhat disappointed to a small degree, but not surprised that the same problems existed. I have learned that sexual misconduct is practiced on many levels. It did not matter that my views were misconstrued as prudish because I know better! This is not at all about exposing anyone; nor would I. It is about stating the facts to circumvent others from going down this path or at least help them consider making better choices.

It is important to keep in mind that spiritual warfare persists everywhere. Always remember; “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18.

There was an interesting counseling therapy class on “Gethsemane Patterning.” I was asked to sign a waiver in this class because there was some hands on activity that could possibly be a tad interesting. I prayed about it. Since I could see under the right conditions it could be helpful. I grasped all the marvelous insight as well as impertinent methodology. But I decided to opt out of certain aspects of the class. Therefore there was no need for me to sign a waiver. We are called to be observant. Thank God for Discernment. That particular class ended up with a huge lawsuit against the administrator. It is important to never throw caution to the wind.

Many hours of intense study quiet meditation and practical application yielded a deeper invaluable reverence for our Lord. God does not want us to be “Cookie Cutter Christians.” There is no need to compete in ministry. The Lord will help us do whatever He has called us to do. He does want us to be “in the world but not of the world” John 8 I am most thankful for the experience as well as an invaluable wealth of spiritual insight gained. There remain many many precious memories.

The Lord always wants to lead us on the Path of Righteousness.

It is always good to be cautious, prayerful and seek direction from the Lord. Especially when you lay hands on someone who does not really know you. I understand why the Word says: “Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure. I Timothy 5. Truly the Lord will protect you. He also sharpens your discernment. Spiritual things easily get misunderstood. “Man looks on the outside. But GOD looks at the heart.” This is why we always need to consult with the Lord and be led by HIS Holy Spirit! There are times when you may just have to stay put and pray from right where you are. You can always pray and sometimes not necessarily out loud. The Lord knows if we are sincere and HE is always absolutely Omniscient…

There is a tendency to overlook sexual problems within the Church. This is not good since this conflicts with; “…But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in Spirit and Truth, for the Father seeks such to worship Him” (John 4:23).” Here Jesus is talking to the woman at the well. Notice; He first talked to her about all her husbands. Then He graciously shifts the subject to telling her about “true worship!” We cannot confine our infinite Lord to just a geographical area, people or building. HE IS OMNIPRESENT I have not found anywhere in the WORD where the disciples had sexual misconduct problems. Think about it. Most importantly this sends the wrong message. There is a difference between the “Fruit of the Spirit and the “works of the flesh” See Galatians 5

We are not to sanction any sin. Sin separates us from GOD. We are to exercise and encourage others to embrace self-control as well. He has given us HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER to HELP us. GOD CALLS us and asks us to travel upon “The Straight & Narrow Road!” This is the road that is less traveled by many. The reason why there are so many carnal problems with God’s Church is because to many allowances and excuses are made quite often for those who are connected to what they perceive to be the hierarchy.”Of a TRUTH, I perceive, God is not a respecter of persons.” James 2 We are ALL SAVED by the GRACE of GOD!

It is so very important to know the WORD of GOD for yourself. Many teach the traditions of their particular denominations over the Word of God! We in ourselves have no power. But we access HIS POWER as we stay connected to HIM as the SOURCE of ULTIMATE POWER. God can use whoever is willing to submit to His Will & His Way.

In some cases just as long as you pay your dues or tithes you can be be excused from just about anything. The focus upon money is the greatest priority for many. Many are manipulated to give money. There are even tithing messages given before offering. Malachi is mainly talking to the priests who were corrupt. It was written to correct many religious and social behaviors. Most always attribute Malachi to “robbing God!” Malachi 3 There are many ways to rob God. If you study you will find that tithes and offerings were not only monetary. Malachi 3 also states; “And they shall be mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not.”

Yes, The Lord wants us to give. “God loves a cheerful giver!” II Corinthians 9. The Corinthians were a very carnal Church. Here you will see that the LORD gives a lot of instructions to His Church because of the mindset of the people. They got carried away in many areas. The main focus of worship should always be upon giving GLORY to the LORD. God wants to be a part of every area of our lives. He has promised “To supply ALL our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus!” Philippians 4. God will supply the needs of HIS CHURCH which is HIS people. ALL with the LORD means ALL.

“For the Love of money is the root of ALL evil” Where you find evil when you peel it all back you will find this is to be true! It is not the money but the fact some will do just about anything to get it. God does not begrudge us to have things. But it is how we relate to them that matters most. We all so daily need His Holy Spirit to continually grow in His grace.

GOD is The Giver and Sustainer of Life

God holds ALL of us accountable for our behavior as well as how we give or do not give. Think about it for a moment? God really does see and know everything about all of us. How many times does the Bible mention the disciples indulging in sexual sins? Quite often the faults of the disciples are mentioned to make a point of their flaws. But in actuality we are to depend on the Holy Spirit to help us exercise self-control not upon ourselves. The perfection that the Bible talks about is not flawlessness. It is about learning how to be complete in the Lord. We are to daily strive for perfection. There is always room for improvement in all of us. We should be forever growing in His grace as long as He has us on this side of Heaven. The LORD is able to deliver us from ALL evil! We CAN be “Strong in the LORD!” Or HE would not have told us to do so.

Good boundaries should be exercised when you know someone is weak in certain areas. This applies even more so when you know you are in a carnal environment. You should be able to greet with a hug and express godly love and not want to sleep with or have any sexual interest. I say this because I know that there are a few who use this as an opportunity to meet possible conquests. I personally do not usually indulge in what I call the many “Simon Says” activities that are now prominent during worship. Turn to your neighbor, say this, turn around, jump up and down, clap your hands etc. Observe, how many respond just like robots without thinking. This is actually “Group Think” behavior. Also notice that this is a trend that has also been adopted in these latter years. It is optional. This can at times hinder the flow of the Spirit. We are not to just do everything that man says do… How did we get here? It is always important to remain prayerful during worship.

We are living in the lasts days and some of everything is going on everywhere. Not everyone regards worship or “The House of The Lord” as sacred.

Many Christians have been side tracked by indulging in ongoing sexual sin. Think about it, when this is the case this is actually practicing sin. They do not realize just how much this impacts their Spiritual Gift(s). Or maybe they are just ignorant to GOD’S OMNIPRESENCE and believe He doesn’t really know what is happening? Its important to keep in mind during worship that not everyone is spiritual. Encouraging repentance is always good. “Prayer ye one for another!” I believe that there is much spiritual tension in the body that can easily be alleviated.

The Spirit of God is quenched when you operate in a carnal mode.

Many operate by using a seducing spirit which is NOT of GOD! Remember this is a Spiritual battle. Pray for discernment! Many honestly don’t realize how they water down the effectiveness of their testimony. They also hinder their spiritual gifts when they are indulging in sexual misconduct!

Sex is not something to play with.

This is not about being negative, I am better than you, nor being Miss Such a Much. This is about being real! We are living in some interesting times with some of everything going on. For many nothing is sacred.

There is a better way to begin to lessen the growing number of Christians as well as non Christians to have better control in the area of sex. Less STDS makes the world safer for all of us… You will not have to worry about these things when you honor God in your marriage. We must work on building healthier relationships inside and outside of marriage. Just know that God only sanctions sex between a husband and a wife. We must respect our marriages as well as the marriages of others. When we do so we honor GOD!

I have seen that people are a lot more interested in talking about people who have a problem with material possessions. Usually the one who really has the problem is fixated on what someone else has. How big their house is or what kind of vehicle they drive? Or how often they travel here or there?

It was not Solomon’s material possessions that got him in trouble. It was His sex life! How he ever managed 300 wives and 700 concubines is news to me. Well you see in actuality he didn’t; it is what really eventually nearly destroyed him. We can learn much from his plethora of Wisdom he candidly shares.

I always say: “I DO NOT have to go to the bottom of the Creek to know that there is mud down there.”

In Ecclesiastes 12:13 & 14 Solomon says “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.”

Sex is not something to play with, don’t be deceived by thinking otherwise. The employment of improper sex in your life will ultimately lead to some type of dysfunction or some other problem. Take a Spiritual Bath in HIS WORD repent and exercise self control

The 1st chapter of Romans candidly teaches us that GOD is opposed to same sex relationships. It goes against His natural boundaries; “…They exchanged the TRUTH of GOD for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator, who is forever praised. Amen! Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in them the due penalty for their perversion…” Acts 1 You cannot change the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD! If you disagree take it up with GOD!

Think long and hard before you have or continue to have sex outside of marriage!

SEXUAL Problems For the Christians Part 4

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 4

Part 4

55 – 60% Of Marriages are Ending in Divorce

I remember jokingly telling my husband years ago that we were going to be looked at, as “there goes that married heterosexual couple.” I am thankful to say God has blessed us over and over again during four plus decades of commitment. Truly our Lord is Faithful. This is why I know that it is only by His grace it has been possible. Marriage God’s Way Works!

The Supreme Court of the United States has voted against the Word of God! They support alternative “same sex unions.” Your choice is your choice. However, It is important to know that God does not sanction “same sex unions.” Marriage between one man and one woman is God’s Design for Marriage. Marriage God’s Way is Holy Matrimony ordained by God!

We live in a time when 55- 60% of marriages are ending in divorce! I understand that we live in difficult times. The spiritual warfare will do every thing it can to promote and construct distorted views of marriage as favorable. Many couples choose to live together rather than marry. Many marry and don’t really know what they are getting into! Many marry and continue to have mutual relationships outside of marriage.

Rekindle the Affections that Brought you Together

Couples are pulled in many directions because of the pulls of sexual freedom. Just know it is a seducing spirit that wants to deceive you. Birth of illicit pleasure can often lead to death of a marriage.

At some point it will result in regret!

If you are married and you know something is not right, please take inventory. Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich! The problem won’t just go away. Don’t front it. Rekindle the affections that brought you together. Be more concerned about what God thinks! Find out what God has to say about marriage. Begin to take whatever steps are necessary to take back control of your life.

Proverbs tells us that you cannot “take fire into your bosom and not be burned.” WOW! Earnestly repent and stop indulging in sinful behavior. Run quickly from anyone who comforts you in sexual sin! They will love you to death (which is not love at all) if you have been playing with fire please stop! You will actually feel a lot better when you get things right with God. Remember His blood can cleanse you from all unrighteousness! Just know God is a forgiving God!

TRUE LOVE does not sanction wrong

Men and women vary in their priorities in the area of sexual needs. Men in general have intercourse higher on their lists of priorities. For instance it may be the number one preference for a man. It may be the second or fourth for the woman. Her first need may be affection. Of course meaning affection from her husband. His second may be financial security.

You see many often confuse their needs. and wants. Together you can fulfill your needs by working together as a team. You can also work together on you wants. There is power in unity! Always remember that God honors marriage.

When you properly practice sex within the confines of marriage you can experience true spiritual and sexual fulfillment in harmony. You reinforce a permanent bond.

No you do not have to become cold, reserved, indifferent and or rigid. But you do become disciplined! You respect natural boundaries. If you are cold or frigid don’t stay that way. You can learn how to properly guard your heart! Love is patient and kind. You can also learn how to open your heart, mind and soul to your committed spouse. You can also extend sincere love to others especially when you are fulfilled in your marriage!

When you truly Love, you do not just yoke yourself up with anything or anyone. A proper sexual relationship is like “epoxy!” When the two adhesive components come together they form a permanent bond that technically should be very difficult or impossible to break. I use this illustration because it visually represents “what God has joined together let not man put asunder.” It is a healthy bond that few really understand. Love always protects it does not suffocate! You can really trust one another!

If you are single and desire to be married guard your heart until someone who is willing to grow in Love & Life with you comes along. Start each day fresh and present your needs to the Lord. Cling to the Lord and trust Him to supply your needs until that right someone comes along. Really begin to value the person you are becoming. No one can be a better you than you. Don’t sell yourself short. Life is precious and each day is a Gift from the Lord. You are not alone and He is there for you willing to go every step of the way…

Love does not sanction wrong. It is within a healthy marriage one learns properly how to have their sexual desires fulfilled. As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is room for improvement in ALL of us. You cannot change anything that has already happened. But you can press forward knowing that GOD LOVES YOU! If you have not already, begin developing a relationship where you can mutually get your needs met. There is a oneness that one can experience in marriage that GOD sanctions. When you are truly fulfilled you will have no need or desire to indulge in extra marital affairs. You understand and practice the benefits of self control. You embrace the Truth of God’s Word and seek HIS Will for your life and your marriage. You will also have great security knowing that you are honoring God in your relationship!

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5


Part 5

You Can Build A Loving Satisfying Marriage

Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages.

Abuse, mistreatment, low self esteem and cruel continuing self punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with self defeating shame you have been left with a cloud hanging over you! This is NOT God’s destiny for you. God does not want you to have an unhappy marriage. Nor does He want you to have ongoing difficult relationships. Remember; GOD WILL; “supply all your needs according to HIS riches in CHRIST JESUS!” As simple as it sounds, You must start believing HIS WORD. For HIS WORD is “quick & powerful!” Which means it is ALIVE!

Now for some interim therapy; Get yourself a pillow, turn on some good Gospel Music and have yourself a good cry. Empty out some of that pain that continues to weigh you down. God knows exactly where you are. You are not alone in this. Allow the Lord to shower you with His Holy Spirit. Accept HIS marvelous Grace and allow HIS mercy to over shadow you. Start anew allowing His Holy Spirit within your inner being.

Don’t have an ongoing pity party that keeps you fixated on what has been. Use the pain, suffering and hurt to rebuild and or strengthen your character. Recovery implies you are seeking to regain or replace what has been lost. Embrace godly principles to better guard your heart and accept the cleansing power of His Holy Spirit to make you His “New Creation.” God’s Word is so important. not to just read but to actually bring forth healing & restoration. GOD IS GOOD!!!

Thank God for HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER! Yes, there is hope for you and your marriage or future marraige. In the Lord you can find comfort. Make it your goal to seek and discover how to Love God and yourself more.

What God meant to be such a beautiful loving, emotional, physical expressive bonding experience between a husband and wife has become so misunderstood.

There is a viable remedy. As husband and wife you must work together harmoniously. You can build a healthy loving satisfying marriage together. Your marriage intimate love making is uniquely designed for you and by you as you come together as one. Working together to achieve mutual satisfaction without shame is a healthy aspect of a good marriage. It is important to communicate with one another.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt not shame.” Genesis 2 Notice this was only between the man. Marriage in the eyes of GOD is sacred!

It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem. It is important to talk to your children as well about sex age appropriately. By the way child abuse of any kind is a definite NO NO! It is not the talking about sex that is the problem. It is when people misuse or abuse it outside the confines of marriage.

Perils of Adultery

Adultery has serious consequences. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their thoughts! God is not a God of darkness. Read this passage and allow His Light to illuminate your mind;

My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.

For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.

It is important to keep in mind that we are all different. But the principles for life and living for us all given by GOD in HIS WORD are very beneficial to all of us. Your marriage will be whatever you make it! Your relationships will be whatever you make them. God has given us in HIS WORD guidelines to help us in every area of our lives. It is your choice to know HIS WORD for yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pull you away from what you know to be right.

The world says do whatever feels good and follow the majority.

Jesus Christ did not die for us to be slaves to sin. He wants to be a part of every area of our lives. This is why we ALL need HIM as SAVIOR & LORD! As you begin to embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD you can discover a “Marvelous Freedom” that yields much inner Peace! Freedom does not mean that you do as you please. Nor does Godly Freedom mean that you become legalistic. You rather seek a balance in all that you do. Your desire to live to please the Lord continues to grow. This type of Freedom helps you to yield to the principles of HIS WORD and you become increasingly disciplined and exercise self-control! You are not so easily led astray… The Fruit of God’s Spirit continually develops, manifests and multiplies within your daily life.

You seek to be led daily by HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER!

Jesus came for us to live differently. He wants us to be different from the world. The world at large will not get better. He does not want you to be anybody’s puppet or robot. He wants to help each of us become the “Best You” led by His Holy Spirit. He will never lead us to do anything that goes against HIS WORD! “GOD IS LOVE” There is nothing, no thing or anyone greater than GOD! In HIM you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life, Love & Living! “Seek first the Kingdom of GOD & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and everything else will be added unto you…” Matthew 6

Know who you belong to

As a believer know that your body is the Temple of GOD! This is what HIS WORD teaches us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” I Corinthians 6 This is one of many reasons why it is important to take time to daily draw closer to the LORD! I assure you that it is only in HIM that you can discover true security & significance.

It is important to spend time with the LORD in HIS WORD! This way you can better understand when something or something someone says or does is from the LORD!

Sharing & Caring!

“Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world!” As you submit to the Lord He will or can HELP you in every area of your life. God is greater than any problem that you will ever encounter. God wants to build Christian Character within you. He wants you to daily walk in the Light of HIS WORD!

Grace & Peace comes from the LORD! “…But when the kindness and LOVE of GOD our SAVIOR appeared. HE SAVED us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the HOLY SPIRIT, whom HE POURED OUT generously through JESUS CHRIST our SAVIOR, so that, having been justified by HIS GRACE, we might become heirs having the HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE. This is a TRUSTWORTHY saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who trusted in GOD may be careful to DEVOTE themselves to doing good. These things are EXCELLENT& PROFITABLE for everyone…” Titus 3

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