SEXUAL Problems for Christians Part 1

Part 1

The Bible Says A Lot About Sex

SEXual Problems For The Christian

In one of the Christian Counseling quarterly publications I receive, every single article discussed sexual problems. This really confirmed that the problems of this nature are definitely prevalent within the Christian Community. Many shy away from discussing issues that are of a sexual nature. It is quite evident that a plethora of the problems we are experiencing in this world today are rooted in improper sexual misconduct.

 

The Bible has a lot to say about sexual relationships. One of the main problems is that sex is more often than not practiced outside of the sanctity of marriage. God has said it is only within the marriage bed that sex is “undefiled.” Many have indulged in adultery, fornication and homosexuality and defiled the marriage bed.

 

Sex Outside of Marriage is Dangerous!

It is of no secret that time after time we see many men and women who fall prey to the pitfalls of sexual misconduct. Not fully realizing that sex outside of marriage is like “fire outside of the fireplace.” It’s dangerous! It will burn your house down!

 

You are setting yourself up for disappointment. You see sex outside the confines of marriage simply means; I am not fully committed to you. I need to be with you to see if we are physically compatible. I’ve been hurt before so I don’t really want to get too serious. Or my spouse and I don’t have a satisfying relationship so I’m really glad you are there for me. Or “I need you baby” if you love me you will do this for me?

 

This is only a few but there are so many more scenarios as well… Of course you have not uttered this in words. In the above cases your actions speak louder than words. Many simply do not really know what marriage is all about!

 

You want to take some time and think and ponder upon your marriage vows! There is always room for improvement. Hang them on your wall if you need to be reminded of what you promised to do! There are priceless precious spiritual benefits for keeping your marital vows. 

 

If you married someone who does not keep their vows.  They  have a problem…

 

God Can Cleanse You from all Unrighteousness

I have received many questions in regards to sexual problems. Many are trapped because they have nowhere to turn. Many women just don’t want to be alone so they offer themselves sexually, yet are physically unsatisfied. Many have been conditioned ignorantly to use sex as a tool to manipulate. Women who are used for sexual purposes are often thought of as mere objects. Many have been sexually abused causing them to feel low self worth. Often causing them to turn to drugs and  promiscuity or unwise counsel. This  further leads to a perilous journey of confusion, depression, anxiety and more issues…

 

This is not about putting anyone down. It is about sharing what GOD has to say about sex and relationships.  To motivate you to move towards GOD rather than away from HIM… Don’t settle when He has so much more instore for you.

 

 

Please know if you were sexually abused or if you are being abused now it is in NO way your fault! You can turn this around. Realize that you have been taken advantage of. This was an unrighteous act against you. Meaning; it was or is not right! Forgive yourself and don’t let this hold you captive any longer. God wants to release the pain your are carrying. God’s compassion  goes far beyond any life experience. Cry out to the Lord and say; “STOP it in the Name of JESUS!” Please hear me; GOD LOVES you and has so much more in store for you. Don’t let this be the theme of your life. Don’t let it rob you of a better future. There is cleansing POWER in the WORD of GOD! He can “cleanse you from ALL unrighteousness.”

 

 

Many have been taught that sex is no big deal! Everybody has sex and it does not matter if you are married or not. Especially if you are past a certain age or you have already been married. Or if you are not having sex something is wrong with you. You are not normal. But that is not the Christian perspective! You are giving parts of yourself away! This is why you feel less than… Your body is what protects your soul! You see God gives specific directions. The Bible says “for this cause shall a man leave His Father and Mother and cleave to His wife and they shall become one flesh.”

 

Let go and let GOD!

Sex outside the confines of marriage is dangerous emotionally. Why? It sets you up for possible problems that may not be apparent until much later?  You are compromising your values… You usually feel someone is looking down on you. This is regardless of how young or old you may be… You are also outside of the will of GOD!  Your decisions are between you and GOD. It is He that you want to consult if you are a believer.  It is wise to become more aware of HIS WORD. God always wants what is best for us.  He created us yet He allows us the freedom to choose. But it is important to know that will be consequences for your choices good or bad.  It is never to late to start making better choices. 

 

 

There is a deeper meaning to sex than the physical exchange. A bonding takes place. There is a magnetic chemical exchange. Within the confines of marriage a miraculous spiritual transaction is taking place! Your hearts can begin to become knitted together as one.  You grow in God’s grace and you want what is best for one anther as you commit to His Will. Did you know that scripture tells us “whatever you join yourself to becomes a part of you?”

 

Deep down you must know and feel that something is wrong, but you just can’t put your finger on it.  Sex outside of marriage  shows a lack of discipline.  In this 21st century just about anything goes. But not so in the eyes of God.   This keeps you from experiencing “the Kingdom of God is at hand.”

 

Some people just don’t practice good moral boundaries. They will sleep with anybody! Married or not married! Others have been erroneously taught that it really does not matter. Well; Its my body anyway! ” It’s just sex!” But is it really especially if you have confessed Jesus Christ? If it feels right we are not hurting anybody? From a Biblical standpoint just know you are outside the will of God! Anytime you choose to operate outside of God’s boundaries you can expect some trouble.

 

GOD SAYS; REPENT!

 

Take some time for an inner spiritual cleanse! Spend some time in the WORD of GOD! Ask the LORD to speak to your heart! It is time to really “Let go & let GOD”

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 2

Part 2

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SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 3

 
Part 3

Pray for Discernment

When I went to seminary I was somewhat disappointed to a small degree, but not surprised that the same problems existed. We live in a spiritual war zone. So always seek the “Will & Way of the Lord.” I have learned that sexual misconduct is practiced on many levels. It did not matter that my views were misconstrued as prudish because I know better!  This is not at all about exposing anyone; nor would I. It is about stating the facts to circumvent others from going down this path or at least help them consider making better choices.

 

It is important to keep in mind that spiritual warfare persists everywhere. Always remember; “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18.   It is always good to have someone who you are on one accord.  Praise  & Thank God! Always keep in mind that God is omnipresent so therefore everywhere you are He is also there.  Like it or not. If you are “Called” to ministry your first commitment should always be to please the Lord. To freely share the Word of God and encourage  any and everyone to abide by His Word regardless of their title, or  whoever they are. Christianity is a daily lifestyle. God holds each of us  accountable for what we know.

 

 

In Seminary there was an interesting counseling therapy class on “Gethsemane Patterning.” I was asked to sign a waiver in this class because there was some hands on activity that could possibly be a tad interesting.  I prayed about it. Since I could see under the right conditions it could be in some cases helpful in ministry when used appropriately. I grasped all the marvelous insight as well as impertinent methodology. It is also important to know your rights.  I decided to opt out of certain aspects of the class. Therefore there was no need for me to sign a waiver. We are called to be observant. Thank God for Discernment. That particular class ended up with a huge lawsuit against the administrator. I learned early  it is important to never throw caution to the wind.

 

Many hours of intense personal study, quiet meditation and practical application yielded a deeper invaluable reverence for our Lord.  We must always consult the Lord to lead us.  It also freed me to be more spiritually conscious.  God does not want us to be “Cookie Cutter Christians.” There is no need to compete in ministry. The Lord will help us do whatever He has called us to do.  His confirmation exceeds anyone else’s,. This is not about ego for I have learned to be confident in the Lord. God  does want us to be “in the world but not of the world” John 8.  I am most thankful for the experience as well as an invaluable wealth of spiritual insight gained. There remain many many more  precious memories I have than not so good..

 

The Lord always wants to lead us on the Path of Righteousness.

 

To know GOD”S WORD is good. But it takes His Holy Spirit to open your understanding so you know how to apply and or receive it.  It was good that the Pharisees knew the Word.  The problem was that they were not able to recognize and discern Christ Jesus.  Strive to study like the Bereans.  They diligently studied to know and grow in the grace of our Lord & Savior through His Word. 

 

There are many different denominational and nondenominational beliefs. Therefore, it is always good to be cautious, prayerful and seek direction from the Lord. Especially when you lay hands on someone who does not really know you. Or when you know you are amidst others who have a wrong perception of your intent. I understand why the Word says: “Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.”  I Timothy 5.  No need to fear. Truly the Lord will protect you. He also sharpens your discernment. Spiritual things easily get misunderstood when in  the midst of carnal thinkers.  For; “Man looks on the outside. But GOD looks at the heart.” This is why we always need to consult with the Lord and be led by HIS Holy Spirit! There are times when you may just have to stay put and pray from right where you are. You can always pray and sometimes not necessarily out loud. The Lord knows if we are sincere and HE is always absolutely Omniscient…

 

God Is Truly Amazing!

There is a tendency to sometime overlook sexual problems within the Church. This is not good since this conflicts with; “…But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in Spirit and Truth, for the Father seeks such to worship Him” (John 4:23).” Here Jesus is talking to the woman at the well. This in itself was unusual for Him to be alone in her presence. Notice; He first talked to her about her life and all of her husbands. Then He graciously shifts the subject to telling her about “true worship!” Jesus was always totally aware and connected to the LORD.  He was never not GOD! He simply told her something that no one was aware of to get her attention.  She left His presence preaching delivered  and: “Come see a man…”

 

 

We cannot confine our infinite Lord to just a geographical area, people or building. HE IS OMNIPRESENT I have not found anywhere in the WORD where any of  His disciples  themselves had sexual misconduct problems.  Know how to keep your Temple, for it is where GOD resides.  Think about it. Most importantly this sends the wrong message. There is a difference between the “Fruit of the Spirit and the “works of the flesh” See Galatians 5

 

Know and discern when a “seducing spirit” is in operation.  Seek the Lord’s direction and pray  whenever you are in an emotionally charged environment. God does not manifest His presence  to bring confusion…  Know that God wants to impart peace and bring deliverance.  You can even bring peace to a dog if necessary when led by the Lord.  His Holy Spirit is the Ultimate Comforter!

 

We are not to sanction any sin in anyone.  This only helps to keep them in bondage. Sin  is what separates us from GOD. We are to exercise and encourage others to embrace self-control as well. He has given us HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER to HELP us. GOD CALLS us and asks us to travel upon “The Straight & Narrow Road!” This is the road that is less traveled by many.  The reason why there are so many carnal problems with God’s Church is because to many allowances and excuses are made quite often for those who are connected to what they perceive to be their hierarchy.  They will often have a cult like mentality.  They also tend to be very territorial. Absolutely NO one is higher than GOD! His Word says; ” Of a TRUTH, I perceive, God is not a respecter of persons.” James 2

 

 

We are ALL SAVED by the GRACE of GOD! It is not by any works…

 

 

It is so very important to know the WORD of GOD for yourself. Many teach the traditions of their particular denominations over the Word of God! We in ourselves have no power. But we can access HIS POWER as we stay connected to HIM as the SOURCE of ULTIMATE POWER.  Our bodies are His Temple.  He resides within us.  God knows when we are committed to Him. God can use whoever is willing to submit to His Will & His Way.

 

In some cases just as long as you pay your dues or tithes you can be excused from just about anything. You are given their unconditional love and support?  Know  God’s true Love is priceless… The focus upon giving money is the greatest priority for many.   The desire to take care of  and maintain the building and its auxiliaries  are usually a main priority. Not that this is bad but keep in mind that God is aware of those needs as well.  Many are manipulated to give money for various needs. There are even tithing messages given before  the offering.  They  often will give a binary message.  They will tell you how much you should give and then knowingly attempt to put a guilt trip on you to give  the 10% you know you owe?   Is that because you are not giving to them?  Giving is good.   But know God does not need our money. He does not need anything from anyone.  Malachi is mainly talking to the priests who were quite  corrupt.  This is the main scripture that is usually  used. However it is taken out of context by many. It was written to correct many poor  religious and social behaviors. Most always attribute Malachi to “robbing God!” Malachi 3 There are many ways to rob God.

 

GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL GIVER! 

Allow the Lord to direct you when, to whom and how much to give. If you study you will find that tithes and offerings were not necessarily monetary. They were staples and food  that were stored in the storehouse so there were provisions for  the  priest to have food to eat.  The priest were not land owners. They usually solely worked for the Lord with very few possessions. Malachi 3 also states; “And they shall be mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not.”

 

GOD KNOWS WHEN WE TRULY SERVE HIM! 

 

Yes, The Lord wants us to give. “God loves a cheerful giver!” II Corinthians 9. The Corinthians were a very carnal Church. Here  in Corinthians you will see that the LORD gives a lot of instructions to His Church because of the mindset of the people. They got carried away in many areas. The main focus of worship should always be upon giving GLORY to the LORD. God wants to be a part of every area of our lives. He has promised “To supply ALL our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus!” Philippians 4. God will also supply the needs of HIS CHURCH which is HIS people. He will supply the needs in every aspect of our lives.  ALL with the LORD means ALL.

 

Tithing was never meant to be a “Cover Charge” to worship & praise GOD!

 

“For the Love of money is the root of ALL evil” Where you find evil when you peel it all back you will always find this is to be true! It is not the money but the fact that some will do just about anything to get it.  Know that God is aware of this as well. God does not begrudge us to have things. But it is how we relate to them that matters most. We all so daily need His Holy Spirit to continually grow in His grace.  Everything belongs to the Lord. God will not only supply our needs but He will also  give us some of our wants that are in HIS WILL for us…

 

GOD is The Giver and Sustainer of Life

God holds ALL of us accountable for our behavior as well as how we give or do not give. Think about it for a moment? God really does see and know everything about all of us. How many times does the Bible mention the disciples indulging in sexual sins? Quite often the faults of the disciples are mentioned to make a point of their flaws. It was Judas who was close to the Lord, who sold Him out for money? Go figure? People often relate to others  because they have the same experiences.  But in actuality we are to depend on the Holy Spirit to help us exercise self-control  in all areas of our life, not upon ourselves. Truly God is more than able. All His promises are true!

 

You should want to become perfect in the Lord.   When you really believe God is omniscient you will live differently. Because you realize;  HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.  The perfection that the Bible talks about is not flawlessness. It is about learning how to be complete in the Lord. We are to daily strive for perfection. There is always room for improvement in all of us.   We are to regularly take Spiritual Baths in HIS WORD! We should be forever growing in His grace, knowledge and wisdom as long as He has us on this side of Heaven. The LORD is able to deliver us from ALL evil! We CAN be “Strong in the LORD!” Or HE would not have told us to do so.

 

 

Good boundaries should be exercised when you know someone is weak in certain areas. This applies even more so when you know you are in a carnal environment. You should be able to greet with a hug and express godly love and not want to sleep with or have any sexual interest with them. I say this because I have known that there are a few who use this as an opportunity to meet possible conquests. I personally do not usually indulge in what I call the many “Simon Says” activities that are now prominent during worship. Turn to your neighbor, say this, turn around, jump up and down, clap your hands etc. Observe, how many respond just like robots without thinking. This is actually “Group Think” behavior. Also notice that this is a trend that has also been recently  adopted in these latter years. It is optional.  This can at times hinder the flow of the Spirit.  There are few moments of peaceful meditation. There needs to be a balance. GOD always know when we are real! We are not to just do everything that man says do… How did we get here? It is always important to remain prayerful during worship.

 

We are living in the “Lasts Days” and some of everything is going on everywhere. Not everyone regards worship or “The House of The Lord” as sacred. 

 

Many Christians have been side tracked by indulging in ongoing sexual sin. Think about it, when this is the case this is actually practicing sin. Regardless of who they are this is not good.  They do not realize just how much this impacts their Spiritual Gift(s). Or maybe they are just ignorant to GOD’S OMNIPRESENCE and believe He doesn’t really know what is happening? Never undermine who GOD IS! Its important to keep in mind during worship that not everyone is spiritual. Encouraging repentance is always good. “Prayer ye one for another!”  Few really understand what it means to; “BE STILL & KNOW” I believe that there is much spiritual tension in the Body of Christ  that can easily be alleviated.

 

The Spirit of God is quenched when you operate in a carnal mode.

 

 

Many operate by using a seducing spirit which is NOT of GOD!  Many simply respond to the beat of the music. Remember this is a Spiritual battle. Pray for discernment! & Keep your Spiritual Armor on!   Many honestly don’t realize how they water down the effectiveness of their testimony. They also hinder their spiritual gifts when they are indulging in sexual misconduct.

 

 

Sex is not something to play with.

This is not about being negative, I am better than you, nor being Miss Such a Much. This is about being real! We are living in some interesting times with some of everything going on everywhere.  Many come to worship empty and leave the same way. For many nothing is sacred.

 

 

There is a better way to begin to lessen the growing number of Christians as well as non Christians to have better control in the area of sex. Less STDS makes the world safer for all of us…  This is a major problem throughout the world. You will never  have to worry about these type of things when you honor God in your marriage, life and home. We must work on encouraging others to build healthier relationships inside and outside of marriage.  At the same time know that marriage is not all about sex… Just know that God only sanctions sex between a husband and a wife.   We must respect our marriages as well as the marriages of others. When we do so we honor GOD!

 

I have seen that people are a lot more interested in talking about people who have a problem with material possessions. Usually the one who really has the problem is fixated on what someone else has. How big their house is or what kind of vehicle they drive? Or how often they travel here or there?

 

It was not Solomon’s material possessions that got him in trouble. It was His sex life! How he ever managed 300 wives and 700 concubines is news to me. Well you see in actuality he didn’t do this  to well; it is what really eventually nearly destroyed him. We can learn much from his plethora of Wisdom he candidly shares.

 

I always say: “I DO NOT have to go to the bottom of the Creek to know that there is mud way down in the bottom of it.”

 

In Ecclesiastes 12:13 & 14 Solomon says “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.”

 

Sex is not something to play with, don’t be deceived by thinking otherwise. The employment of improper sex in your life will ultimately lead to some type of dysfunction or some other problem. Take a Spiritual Bath in HIS WORD repent and exercise self control. You will be more confident in who you are in the Lord when you are striving to live to please Him. 

 

Let the LORD minster to your Spirit! Spend some alone  quality time with the LORD in HIS WORD! 

The 1st chapter of Romans candidly teaches us that GOD is opposed to same sex relationships. It goes against His natural boundaries; “…They exchanged the TRUTH of GOD for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator, who is forever praised. Amen! Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in them the due penalty for their perversion…” Acts 1 You cannot change the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD! If you disagree take it up with GOD!

Think long and hard before you have or continue to have sex outside of marriage!

SEXUAL Problems For the Christians Part 4

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