Is A Great Marriage Still Viable?
The answer is YES!!!
Today some have opted out of the marriage. Their spouse has not been faithful and or has not or will not repent. Divorce is also sought because both or one spouse was not honest when they married. It is not their intention to work together for a mutually satisfying marriage. Sad put true some marry to get what they can and leave. Quite often they want what they want when they want it. Their first priority is what they want rather than what is best for the marriage. This can leave the injured spouse in a state of flux. He or she will often overcompensate by continually giving into to their endless wants even to the point of financial despair.
Parental disharmony also causes additional conflict within the children. They pick up the vibe between their parents. The children wants become excessive to compensate for their void. Unconsciously they feel that their well being is a secondary priority. Children usually prefer that their parents stay together.They too begin to act out. The parent who is most concerned must or should then take responsibility and address the needs of the children. Since you are hurting, this is not easy but necessary. It important to instill within your children healthy boundaries.
As they get older the children will begin to better understand. Their parents were not able to resolve their conflict which resulted in divorce. Right now in this 21st century we have a generation of children that are confused about “Marriage God’s Way” more so than ever before! Although it did not work for you the first time; it is important to let them know that God has ordained marriage as the proper relationship for sex. let them know there is hope for them.
Our current and future generations of teenagers have fewer and fewer positive moral traditional role models. Too many fractured marriages and families. This also can cause some of them to question their own sexuality. They wonder if marriage is still even viable? They are all to often seduced to seek alternative ways to satisfy their sometimes overwhelming desire to appease raging hormones… They are often pulled into experimenting with same sex relationships with their peers. This can cause them to be confused sexually or possibly even become bi sexual or promiscuous?
Freely share with them what God says about sex in a non threatening way. Keeping in mind you are not trying to incite rebellion. You want them to learn self-control. You want them to realize that their are consequences for our actions.God allows us the freedom to choose. Love is patient so if you are over anxious take some time and chill out.
We can prevent this from happening or lessen the frequency of this occurring by teaching them the importance of respecting their own bodies. Letting them know that they are valuable and they have the right to say “NO!” to anyone. But most important that they can honor God in their body and its never too late to start!
Yes! A favorable future marriage is still viable…
There is much spiritual warfare that attempts to draw our teens away from God’s natural design for sex. This is a vulnerable stage of life for them! Peer pressure is already a constant factor in their lives… How their bodies are beginning to develop is a concern as well. Many of them will not say how they really feel. They will tell you what they think you want to hear! They often will seek unwise advice. Therefore they can be easily led down an ambivalent primrose path that further adds to this already complicated period of growth and development! Instead abstinence and discipline should be encouraged!
Think about this for a moment. Did you know that if no one practiced sex outside of marriage there would be no one to cheat with? Fewer broken homes! Fewer STD’S! Fewer Abortions! Fewer marriages ending in divorces where people are unable to reconcile their differences! It’s hard to imagine! God has given us His Word to protect us! He has even told us that there is “no temptation common to man that He has not prepared a way of escape.”
A committed married monogamous relationship is the only way that God honors a sexual relationship! He has provided and ordained marriage. You see God has designed marriage as the only proper way a man and woman can fulfill their natural sexual desires. He is not the designer of any other method. If you have been taught or thought otherwise you are fooled. I don’t care what Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, Friend, Doctor, Minister, Pastor. Bishop, Apostle or Foe has said there are consequences! You see it is time out for living in the dark. Especially if you have confessed to be a Christian! It is time to stand up and speak out for what God has said is right.
We must speak the TRUTH in LOVE! Many are so confused about what LOVE really means. They often misunderstand you when you try to LOVE them for real! Loving someone is NOT making them feel comfortable in sin. Part of LOVE is correction with patience. Sometimes we have to simply “step back.” But always PRAY! This is why we ALL so need the LORD! “GOD IS LOVE!” God is always available to help us properly express HIS LOVE!
Let’s HELP this next generation; these teenagers of this 21st century “where anything goes.” Start by giving them better moral role models! Let’s open up the lines of communication so they can validate their feelings. Make yourself available to them. Give them a phone and tell them “to call you anytime they NEED you” Let’s HELP them so they do not feel that they have to give parts of themselves away in order to be accepted! Let them know that they have the right to say NO to anyone who tries to take advantage of them. Give them more “hugs” & quick kisses on their foreheads. (some of them feel too big for kisses)
Teach them how to be respectable and to demand respect as well. Remember they watch what we say and do. Better examples and less criticism and more compassion and understanding. Less bickering and fighting and more constructive ways to resolve conflict such as Powerful, loving biblical instructions! Just think if it is hard for adults it is even harder for teenagers…
Pray for Discernment
When I went to seminary I was somewhat disappointed to a small degree, but not surprised that the same problems existed. I have learned that sexual misconduct is practiced on many levels. It did not matter that my views were misconstrued as prudish because I know better! This is not at all about exposing anyone; nor would I. It is about stating the facts to circumvent others from going down this path or at least help them consider making better choices.
It is important to keep in mind that spiritual warfare persists everywhere. Always remember; “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18.
There was an interesting counseling therapy class on “Gethsemane Patterning.” I was asked to sign a waiver in this class because there was some hands on activity that could possibly be a tad interesting. I prayed about it. Since I could see under the right conditions it could be helpful. I grasped all the marvelous insight as well as impertinent methodology. But I decided to opt out of certain aspects of the class. Therefore there was no need for me to sign a waiver. We are called to be observant. Thank God for Discernment. That particular class ended up with a huge lawsuit against the administrator. It is important to never throw caution to the wind.
Many hours of intense study quiet meditation and practical application yielded a deeper invaluable reverence for our Lord. God does not want us to be “Cookie Cutter Christians.” There is no need to compete in ministry. The Lord will help us do whatever He has called us to do. He does want us to be “in the world but not of the world” John 8 I am most thankful for the experience as well as an invaluable wealth of spiritual insight gained. There remain many many precious memories.
The Lord always wants to lead us on the Path of Righteousness.
It is always good to be cautious, prayerful and seek direction from the Lord. Especially when you lay hands on someone who does not really know you. I understand why the Word says: “Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure. I Timothy 5. Truly the Lord will protect you. He also sharpens your discernment. Spiritual things easily get misunderstood. “Man looks on the outside. But GOD looks at the heart.” This is why we always need to consult with the Lord and be led by HIS Holy Spirit! There are times when you may just have to stay put and pray from right where you are. You can always pray and sometimes not necessarily out loud. The Lord knows if we are sincere and HE is always absolutely Omniscient…
There is a tendency to overlook sexual problems within the Church. This is not good since this conflicts with; “…But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in Spirit and Truth, for the Father seeks such to worship Him” (John 4:23).” Here Jesus is talking to the woman at the well. Notice; He first talked to her about all her husbands. Then He graciously shifts the subject to telling her about “true worship!” We cannot confine our infinite Lord to just a geographical area, people or building. HE IS OMNIPRESENT I have not found anywhere in the WORD where the disciples had sexual misconduct problems. Think about it. Most importantly this sends the wrong message. There is a difference between the “Fruit of the Spirit and the “works of the flesh” See Galatians 5
We are not to sanction any sin. Sin separates us from GOD. We are to exercise and encourage others to embrace self-control as well. He has given us HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER to HELP us. GOD CALLS us and asks us to travel upon “The Straight & Narrow Road!” This is the road that is less traveled by many. The reason why there are so many carnal problems with God’s Church is because to many allowances and excuses are made quite often for those who are connected to what they perceive to be the hierarchy.”Of a TRUTH, I perceive, God is not a respecter of persons.” James 2 We are ALL SAVED by the GRACE of GOD!
It is so very important to know the WORD of GOD for yourself. Many teach the traditions of their particular denominations over the Word of God! We in ourselves have no power. But we access HIS POWER as we stay connected to HIM as the SOURCE of ULTIMATE POWER. God can use whoever is willing to submit to His Will & His Way.
In some cases just as long as you pay your dues or tithes you can be be excused from just about anything. The focus upon money is the greatest priority for many. Many are manipulated to give money. There are even tithing messages given before offering. Malachi is mainly talking to the priests who were corrupt. It was written to correct many religious and social behaviors. Most always attribute Malachi to “robbing God!” Malachi 3 There are many ways to rob God. If you study you will find that tithes and offerings were not only monetary. Malachi 3 also states; “And they shall be mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not.”
Yes, The Lord wants us to give. “God loves a cheerful giver!” II Corinthians 9. The Corinthians were a very carnal Church. Here you will see that the LORD gives a lot of instructions to His Church because of the mindset of the people. They got carried away in many areas. The main focus of worship should always be upon giving GLORY to the LORD. God wants to be a part of every area of our lives. He has promised “To supply ALL our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus!” Philippians 4. God will supply the needs of HIS CHURCH which is HIS people. ALL with the LORD means ALL.
“For the Love of money is the root of ALL evil” Where you find evil when you peel it all back you will find this is to be true! It is not the money but the fact some will do just about anything to get it. God does not begrudge us to have things. But it is how we relate to them that matters most. We all so daily need His Holy Spirit to continually grow in His grace.
GOD is The Giver and Sustainer of Life
God holds ALL of us accountable for our behavior as well as how we give or do not give. Think about it for a moment? God really does see and know everything about all of us. How many times does the Bible mention the disciples indulging in sexual sins? Quite often the faults of the disciples are mentioned to make a point of their flaws. But in actuality we are to depend on the Holy Spirit to help us exercise self-control not upon ourselves. The perfection that the Bible talks about is not flawlessness. It is about learning how to be complete in the Lord. We are to daily strive for perfection. There is always room for improvement in all of us. We should be forever growing in His grace as long as He has us on this side of Heaven. The LORD is able to deliver us from ALL evil! We CAN be “Strong in the LORD!” Or HE would not have told us to do so.
Good boundaries should be exercised when you know someone is weak in certain areas. This applies even more so when you know you are in a carnal environment. You should be able to greet with a hug and express godly love and not want to sleep with or have any sexual interest. I say this because I know that there are a few who use this as an opportunity to meet possible conquests. I personally do not usually indulge in what I call the many “Simon Says” activities that are now prominent during worship. Turn to your neighbor, say this, turn around, jump up and down, clap your hands etc. Observe, how many respond just like robots without thinking. This is actually “Group Think” behavior. Also notice that this is a trend that has also been adopted in these latter years. It is optional. This can at times hinder the flow of the Spirit. We are not to just do everything that man says do… How did we get here? It is always important to remain prayerful during worship.
We are living in the lasts days and some of everything is going on everywhere. Not everyone regards worship or “The House of The Lord” as sacred.
Many Christians have been side tracked by indulging in ongoing sexual sin. Think about it, when this is the case this is actually practicing sin. They do not realize just how much this impacts their Spiritual Gift(s). Or maybe they are just ignorant to GOD’S OMNIPRESENCE and believe He doesn’t really know what is happening? Its important to keep in mind during worship that not everyone is spiritual. Encouraging repentance is always good. “Prayer ye one for another!” I believe that there is much spiritual tension in the body that can easily be alleviated.
The Spirit of God is quenched when you operate in a carnal mode.
Many operate by using a seducing spirit which is NOT of GOD! Remember this is a Spiritual battle. Pray for discernment! Many honestly don’t realize how they water down the effectiveness of their testimony. They also hinder their spiritual gifts when they are indulging in sexual misconduct!
Sex is not something to play with.
This is not about being negative, I am better than you, nor being Miss Such a Much. This is about being real! We are living in some interesting times with some of everything going on. For many nothing is sacred.
There is a better way to begin to lessen the growing number of Christians as well as non Christians to have better control in the area of sex. Less STDS makes the world safer for all of us… You will not have to worry about these things when you honor God in your marriage. We must work on building healthier relationships inside and outside of marriage. Just know that God only sanctions sex between a husband and a wife. We must respect our marriages as well as the marriages of others. When we do so we honor GOD!
I have seen that people are a lot more interested in talking about people who have a problem with material possessions. Usually the one who really has the problem is fixated on what someone else has. How big their house is or what kind of vehicle they drive? Or how often they travel here or there?
It was not Solomon’s material possessions that got him in trouble. It was His sex life! How he ever managed 300 wives and 700 concubines is news to me. Well you see in actuality he didn’t; it is what really eventually nearly destroyed him. We can learn much from his plethora of Wisdom he candidly shares.
I always say: “I DO NOT have to go to the bottom of the Creek to know that there is mud down there.”
In Ecclesiastes 12:13 & 14 Solomon says “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.”
Sex is not something to play with, don’t be deceived by thinking otherwise. The employment of improper sex in your life will ultimately lead to some type of dysfunction or some other problem. Take a Spiritual Bath in HIS WORD repent and exercise self control
The 1st chapter of Romans candidly teaches us that GOD is opposed to same sex relationships. It goes against His natural boundaries; “…They exchanged the TRUTH of GOD for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator, who is forever praised. Amen! Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in them the due penalty for their perversion…” Acts 1 You cannot change the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD! If you disagree take it up with GOD!
Think long and hard before you have or continue to have sex outside of marriage!
You Can Build A Loving Satisfying Marriage
Sex is a taboo discussion for many. Old wife fables have hindered more than a few marriages.
Abuse, mistreatment, low self esteem and cruel continuing self punishment rather than discipline have left many scarred. Addicted and coeds with self defeating shame you have been left with a cloud hanging over you! This is NOT God’s destiny for you. God does not want you to have an unhappy marriage. Nor does He want you to have ongoing difficult relationships. Remember; GOD WILL; “supply all your needs according to HIS riches in CHRIST JESUS!” As simple as it sounds, You must start believing HIS WORD. For HIS WORD is “quick & powerful!” Which means it is ALIVE!
Now for some interim therapy; Get yourself a pillow, turn on some good Gospel Music and have yourself a good cry. Empty out some of that pain that continues to weigh you down. God knows exactly where you are. You are not alone in this. Allow the Lord to shower you with His Holy Spirit. Accept HIS marvelous Grace and allow HIS mercy to over shadow you. Start anew allowing His Holy Spirit within your inner being.
Don’t have an ongoing pity party that keeps you fixated on what has been. Use the pain, suffering and hurt to rebuild and or strengthen your character. Recovery implies you are seeking to regain or replace what has been lost. Embrace godly principles to better guard your heart and accept the cleansing power of His Holy Spirit to make you His “New Creation.” God’s Word is so important. not to just read but to actually bring forth healing & restoration. GOD IS GOOD!!!
Thank God for HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER! Yes, there is hope for you and your marriage or future marraige. In the Lord you can find comfort. Make it your goal to seek and discover how to Love God and yourself more.
What God meant to be such a beautiful loving, emotional, physical expressive bonding experience between a husband and wife has become so misunderstood.
There is a viable remedy. As husband and wife you must work together harmoniously. You can build a healthy loving satisfying marriage together. Your marriage intimate love making is uniquely designed for you and by you as you come together as one. Working together to achieve mutual satisfaction without shame is a healthy aspect of a good marriage. It is important to communicate with one another.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt not shame.” Genesis 2 Notice this was only between the man. Marriage in the eyes of GOD is sacred!
It is often erroneously thought that people who talk about sex have some underlying problem. It is important to talk to your children as well about sex age appropriately. By the way child abuse of any kind is a definite NO NO! It is not the talking about sex that is the problem. It is when people misuse or abuse it outside the confines of marriage.
Perils of Adultery
Adultery has serious consequences. It was serious enough that Jesus told the Pharisees that they committed adultery by their thoughts! God is not a God of darkness. Read this passage and allow His Light to illuminate your mind;
“My son. Keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.
For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way of life. Keeping you from the immoral woman. From the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife’ no one who touches her will go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold. Though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lit, and his shame will never be wiped away…” Proverbs 6 NIV.
It is important to keep in mind that we are all different. But the principles for life and living for us all given by GOD in HIS WORD are very beneficial to all of us. Your marriage will be whatever you make it! Your relationships will be whatever you make them. God has given us in HIS WORD guidelines to help us in every area of our lives. It is your choice to know HIS WORD for yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pull you away from what you know to be right.
The world says do whatever feels good and follow the majority.
Jesus Christ did not die for us to be slaves to sin. He wants to be a part of every area of our lives. This is why we ALL need HIM as SAVIOR & LORD! As you begin to embrace the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD you can discover a “Marvelous Freedom” that yields much inner Peace! Freedom does not mean that you do as you please. Nor does Godly Freedom mean that you become legalistic. You rather seek a balance in all that you do. Your desire to live to please the Lord continues to grow. This type of Freedom helps you to yield to the principles of HIS WORD and you become increasingly disciplined and exercise self-control! You are not so easily led astray… The Fruit of God’s Spirit continually develops, manifests and multiplies within your daily life.
You seek to be led daily by HIS HOLY SPIRIT HIS COMFORTER!
Jesus came for us to live differently. He wants us to be different from the world. The world at large will not get better. He does not want you to be anybody’s puppet or robot. He wants to help each of us become the “Best You” led by His Holy Spirit. He will never lead us to do anything that goes against HIS WORD! “GOD IS LOVE” There is nothing, no thing or anyone greater than GOD! In HIM you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life, Love & Living! “Seek first the Kingdom of GOD & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and everything else will be added unto you…” Matthew 6
Know who you belong to
As a believer know that your body is the Temple of GOD! This is what HIS WORD teaches us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” I Corinthians 6 This is one of many reasons why it is important to take time to daily draw closer to the LORD! I assure you that it is only in HIM that you can discover true security & significance.
It is important to spend time with the LORD in HIS WORD! This way you can better understand when something or something someone says or does is from the LORD!
Sharing & Caring!
“Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world!” As you submit to the Lord He will or can HELP you in every area of your life. God is greater than any problem that you will ever encounter. God wants to build Christian Character within you. He wants you to daily walk in the Light of HIS WORD!
Grace & Peace comes from the LORD! “…But when the kindness and LOVE of GOD our SAVIOR appeared. HE SAVED us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the HOLY SPIRIT, whom HE POURED OUT generously through JESUS CHRIST our SAVIOR, so that, having been justified by HIS GRACE, we might become heirs having the HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE. This is a TRUSTWORTHY saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who trusted in GOD may be careful to DEVOTE themselves to doing good. These things are EXCELLENT& PROFITABLE for everyone…” Titus 3
“Can a man or woman take fire into his/her bosom and not be burned?” (Proverbs 6:27 KJV) “Playing with fire” is no laughing matter. Do we really take God’s Word seriously? Infidelity means unfaithfulness. God illustrates the seriousness of adultery by comparing it with fire.
There is definitely a price to be paid for sexual infidelity. God has given His children specific directions in regards to proper sexual relations. The undefiled marriage bed is the proper place for sexual intercourse. The marriage bed is biblically designed for one male and one female. When the two come together they become one. God’s design according to the bible does not authorize any sex outside of marriage nor sanction same sex relationships. “For this is the will of GOD, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and Honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 KJV) Concupiscence meaning; sexual desire.
Due to Adam’s fall we have inherited a sin based nature. Sin is anything that separates us from God. Sin causes one to fulfill the lusts of the flesh. But when we accept Jesus Christ as our personal SAVIOUR we are to imitate His principles in our lives. Yes there will always be a struggle between the spirit and the flesh. But as we learn to submit to the will of God the power of the Holy Spirit gives us the ability to overcome the desires of the flesh.
The scripture tells us that sexual infidelity is like playing with fire. When a Christian chooses to indulge in sexual sin you are definitely out of the will of God. Sexual sin is rampant within the Church. It doesn’t matter if you were once married, how old or young you are. Your position doesn’t matter; widow, minister, usher, mother, teacher, member, elder, bishop, evangelist, deacon, deaconess, pastor, missionary, this should not be. By ignoring God’s Word the body suffers. It tells the unsaved yes I am a hypocrite and no I don’t have self-control. Better yet, it waters down the effectiveness of your testimony.
Every time you choose to operate outside the spiritual moral boundaries God has designed you can expect some sort of consequence. God is totally aware of everything. Just listen to how patient he is with us; “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness: but is long suffering toward us, not willing that none should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” (II Peter 3:9 KJV) Repentance does not mean repeat or practice. We as Christians have commenced to embrace the world’s principles that encourages indulging in satisfying the flesh. “After all I’m human! We aren’t really hurting anyone! Nobody else knows but us.” Wrong! God knows! Remember that fire I warned you about.
Christ is the Head (by the way there is only one head) of the church. The church is symbolic of His body. Cancerous sin retards the church’s progression towards reaching maturity. When sin is prevalent it also hinders our worship services and reduces them to carnally dramatized emotional productions void of spiritual fruit. Don’t allow satan to deceive you. The only way to truly worship Him is in Spirit and in truth. If you are currently participating in sexual sin, if your spouse is indulging in sexual sin, repent then abstain!! Please let this be a wake up call. Stop now! Find someone who you can be accountable to. Better yet confess and ask God to send you someone. God knows your weaknesses. Paul tells us “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9 KJV) If you play with fire it will burn you! Yes infidelity is a problem! If you truly believe in His Word, He does have the power to deliver you.