How Do I Love Thee: Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO”

How Do I Love Thee: Food For Thought Before You Say "I DO" by [DeBorrah K Ogans]



Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage. They have not taken the time to have candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. Planning your wedding is important, but so is planning your marriage.



How Do I Love Thee: Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage.

Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple, which are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.


Take a few moments and think and ponder. Read this  before you make one of the most important  decisions ever  that will impact the rest of your entire life…

Or read it NOW that you are married to enhance and enrich your marriage! 

Now available for purchase from the Amazon Kindle Store. You can also read it for FREE with Kindle Unlimited. Read & Write a Review!


Kindle Edition $2.99

Know The Lord For Yourself

It is very important to have a personal intimate relationship with the Lord. It is also very important to know His Word. It is through His Word that you are able to understand the freedom you have in Christ. To know what your position is in Christ is very important as well. This way you will not be tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine. Having faith in Jesus Christ is crucial. Hebrews tells that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen” KJV. The NIV says “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Faith means that you trust in God who you cannot see. Yet, you can rest assured that there is absolutely nothing He is not aware of. It is in Him we “move and live and have our being.” Absolutely nothing takes place in heaven, or neither on earth, nor any where else for that matter that He is not aware of. Knowing that everything was spoken into existence through His Son brings great contentment. Having faith and trust in God makes all the difference in the world. It is important to know Him for yourself. To know what it is to be loved by God and to love God. When your faith and trust are in God you also know without a doubt that He keeps His promises.

Knowing of God and knowing who He is not the same thing. When you really know someone you are not moved by how things appear to be. Your relationship is not a surface relationship it goes much deeper. It is not built on what some one has told you. It is built on what you personally know to be true. You spend time walking with Him daily. Many people often subscribe to what someone else says without really getting to know a person for who they are. They make erroneous assumptions often received from biased information. You must know God for yourself! You must study His Word to know Him for yourself and not through the eyes of someone else. If you just listened to what the Pharisees had to say about Jesus you would get a totally different perspective. This is still quite true today. Many subscribe to idle chatter rather than to the Gospel or what is really true. In order to get a true perspective you must study His Word. In order to know someone you have to really listen and hear what they say. You have to have some idea of their point of reference in order to understand where they are coming from. For instance there were times that Jesus had absolutely nothing to say. It was not at all that He was guilty. He just did not respond to their accusations. He knew that they were simply trying to prove felonious accusations. They were not interested in really knowing what Jesus was all about. They just wanted Him to confirm their own distorted beliefs. They were insulted by the fact that He did not seek out their approval nor desire to be a part of their established traditions. They merely sought to disprove anything He did to undermine His integrity. Just think, Jesus never ever did anything that was wrong. Yet they totally misunderstood Him and treated Him very badly as well. So of course we too can expect to be misunderstood and mistreated at times. Since we know according to His Word “All have sinned and fallen short of His glory.” But Hallelujah anyhow! You can rest assured and have peace knowing that God already knows the Truth.

When you really know the Lord it is your desire to please Him. You realize that He is the reason for life and living. It is your desire to daily walk in the Light of His Word. Any weights that slow you down and impede your focus must be laid aside. Innuendos and accusations are also readily dismissed in the Light of Truth. You realize that they are merely side bar distractions. you simply do not even have to respond to. After all you know that God is a Spirit of Truth. You realize that anytime you accept a lie as Truth you have been deceived. God does not want you to be carried away with strange teachings. Such as, the traditions of men, legalistic rules and guilt induced tactics for giving. You realize through faith that God can and will provide everything you need at His appointed time. You know that God has promised to write His laws in your heart. You know that you are not saved by works or anything you do. You are internally guided by His precious Holy Spirit. “Man looks on the outside appearance. God looks at the heart!” This is the freedom you have in Christ. “It is by grace we are saved not of works, lest any man should boast!” Salvation is a gift from God that Jesus Christ purchased with His life! You also know that salvation is not paid for through monetary giving. God will provide whatever is necessary without manipulation for His will to be done. This is why faith is so very important! Your first priority is that His will is done in your life. This is why we pray give us today our daily bread. God can and will give you His peace that surpasses the understanding of man.

Abraham’s faith and trust was so great in the Lord that he offered up His 40 year old son Isaac. He knew that He had received the promise. He knew that His seed would be blessed. He knew that God Himself would raise Isaac up if necessary. Moses’ Mother hid him for three months then later put him in a basket to protect him. He actually found sanctuary in the temple of the very King who was trying to slaughter him. By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after Joshua obeyed the Lord. and marched around the walls seven days. Hebrews tells us that we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. Enoch walked with God and pleased God. He did not see death because God was so pleased with him. The Word of God tells us that God took him. This is just a few of the many examples that God has given us. He tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus who is the author and finisher of our faith. Is He the author of your faith?

Through Jesus Christ; the Lord will equip you with every good thing to do His will. When your relationship is based on faith and trust it is a real blessing. God will impart to you the fruit of His Spirit! You readily share just how wonderful God is without reluctance. Those who really know you will know this to be true. They know that you believe and are faithful to your commitments. The Book of James tells us,” My dear brothers, take note of this; Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the Word planted in you, which can save you.” In order for this to happen the Word must be in you first! “Man looks at the outside. God looks at the heart!” God is not only welcome in your heart He is welcomed in your home! God has a better way. The wrath of man does not bring about the righteousness of God. This is why He calls us to be His disciples. This means to be a learner of His way and His Word! Merely listening to the Word can cause you to be deceived. YOU MUST HEAR HIS WORD! “Faith comes by hearing the Word of God.” You must embrace and digest the truth of His Word wholeheartedly. Abraham’s faith was made complete by what he did. His faith and actions worked together. The Word says that righteousness was accredited to Abraham because he believed God. Do you really believe God’s Word?

Do you really believe God? If you do you know that God is aware of why you do or do not do some things. A personal relationship with the Lord is so very important. When you submit yourself to God and resist the devil he will flee. The Word of God has power. It washes you from all unrighteousness. God is so good! He has given us an inheritance that can never perish or fade. It can not perish no matter what someone else says, does or thinks. It is laid up in heaven beyond their reach. Neither can you purchase it with anything. It is a precious eternal gift that lasts through everlasting. A gift that Jesus gave His life for to all that truly believes and accepts Him as Lord of their life. Do you know of God or do you really know Him? This is why it is so important to know God and His Word for yourself?

There are many beliefs, religions and denominations but the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ. There is a lot of conflict in regards to who is saved and who is not saved. Many subscribe to human unconditional love. That merely excuses those who they care for to remain shackled to sin. This type of love is what I call “Intoxicating Affections.” It merely mimics the Love of God. God is Love and it is only through Him that you can really know what love truly is about. Jesus did not die for us to be enslaved by anything. He died to free us from sin reigning in our lives. It is through Him we access His power. We never become the power! Many have been caused to go shipwreck or astray due to idle chatter. God’s Church is supposed to be a pillar of Truth! Many are often given gossip rather than the Gospel, junk food rather than Spiritual Food. Jesus charge was to “Feed His Sheep.” He is the Shepherd and overseer of our souls” according to I Peter 2:15. We need the Word of God! It is food for the soul. We are in the world but we are not supposed to be of the world. We all will at some point have to answer to God for everything that we have ever said or done! Hallelujah! This is why you must know the Word of God for yourself! II Timothy says “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the Word of Truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly…….”

God knows who His children are. When you know God and the power of Jesus Christ’s Resurrection you know that you know that you know. You are built on a Spiritual House. You know you are “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light!” Jesus died that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. God is so good! Begin to really get to know Him! The Bible is full of situations that will help you know how to and how not to respond. His Word truly is “A lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path.” I praise and thank God each and everyday for the people He has put in my life even for those who try to undermine my good intentions. They have helped me to cling even closer to the Lord. When you know you are accepted by God that is all that really matters! I cherish the Love, Joy and Peace; He has allowed me to experience that much more! “And the God of all grace, who called you to eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” I thank Him for being a constant companion. He is a mighty good leader! I thank Him for His precious Holy Spirit. God inhabits the praises of His people. “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we might be the praise to His glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the Word of Truth, the Gospel of Salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promise of the Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession to the praise of His Glory.” Hallelujah!