SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 4

Part 4

Today; 55 – 60% Of Marriages are Ending in Divorce!

I remember jokingly telling my husband years ago that we were going to be looked at, as “there goes that married heterosexual couple.” I am thankful to say God has blessed us over and over again during four plus decades of commitment. Truly our Lord is Faithful. This is why I know that it is by His grace that this has been possible.  We daily rise to give Him the glory. Marriage God’s Way Works!

 

 

The Supreme Court of the United States has voted against the Word of God! They support alternative “same sex unions.” Your choice is your choice. However, It is important to know that God does not sanction “same sex unions.” Marriage between one man and one woman is God’s Design for Marriage. Marriage God’s Way is Holy Matrimony ordained by God!

 

We live in a time when 55- 60% of marriages are ending in divorce! I understand that we live in difficult times.  These are certainly the “Last Days” when some of everything is happening. The spiritual warfare will do everything it can to promote and construct distorted ungodly views of marriage as favorable. Many couples choose to live together rather than marry.  This really is saying that they do not want to commit to one another.  Many marry and don’t really know what they are getting into! Many marry and continue to have mutual relationships outside of marriage. This is not good…

 

At some point this will result in regret!

 

Keep or rekindle and embrace the affections that brought you together.  Keep the respect, trust, love and honor you committed to. 

 

Some couples are pulled in many directions because of the pulls of sexual supposedly freedom. This should not be.  Just know it is a seducing spirit that wants to deceive you. Birth of illicit pleasure can often lead to death of a marriage.  Realize God is always aware.  He has given us healthy marriage boundaries. That are inclusive of genuine freedom.  A healthy marriage consists of two people who wants what is  best for one another and the marriage. 

 

 

If you are married and you know something is not right, please take inventory. Don’t bury your head in the sand like an ostrich! The problem won’t just go away. Don’t front it. Seek to resolve it. Rekindle the honorable  affections that brought you together. Be more concerned about what God thinks! Find out what God has to say about marriage.  Invite Him into the your marriage. After all you made a vow to Him as well…  Begin to take whatever steps are necessary to take back control of your marriage. Seek healthy ways to resolve unnecessary conflict.

 

Proverbs tells us that you cannot “take fire into your bosom and not be burned.” WOW! Earnestly repent and stop indulging in sinful behavior. Run quickly from anyone who comforts you in sexual sin.  They will love you to death (which is not love at all) if you have been playing with fire please stop! You should know better and they should too if they are believers.  Or perhaps you don’t really believe what God has said. You will actually feel a lot better when you get things right with God. Remember His blood can cleanse you from all unrighteousness! God always has a better way.  Just know God is a more than able in any situation!

 

 

TRUE LOVE does not sanction wrong

Men and women vary in their priorities in the area of sexual needs. Men in general have intercourse higher on their lists of priorities. For instance it may be the number one preference for a man. It may be the second or fourth for the woman. Her first need may be simple  affection. Of course meaning affection from her husband.  His second may be financial security. Together you can work through anything together. Always strive to seek a healthy balance. Be  willing to share openly and honestly.  Always have your spouses best interest at heart. Marriage is the ultimate partnership. 

 

 

You see many often confuse their needs. and wants. Together you can fulfill your needs and or  wants  by working together as a team.  God has promised to “supply all of our needs…”   Meaning those needs that are in His Will.  You can also work together on your wants. There is power in unity!  God is willing to help you in all aspects of your marriage.  When you know God is omnipresent you become less inhibited and more transparent  because You know He is present.   There are healthy ways to come together in physical &  emotional harmony.  After all God made us.   He made us to  be able to come together as husband and wife in a mutually satisfying way.  Always remember that God honors marriage.

 

 

In marriage you can experience an emotional & physical  harmonic “Oneness!”   This is when you are secure in your marriage. There is an unexplainable freedom when you truly trust one another this is apparent when you are together  or apart.     You have inner peace and contentment when you trust one another.  You also know that when you have the Lord in your life you are never really alone.   Therefore they are things that you do not do. I can truly say that we thoroughly enjoy one another’s company.

 

 

I have learned  that your best and wisest counsel always comes from the Lord.  After many years of practicing in Christian Counseling “praying without ceasing.” becomes second nature. You really do have to rely on the Lord as well as uphold healthy boundaries.  You cannot rely on hearsay or how things appear…  God can give you keen insight however you must also exercise discipline when counseling others.   Some come to bring division.   So make sure you are responding to bring forth truth and your desire is to please the Lord. It is important to know that you are held accountable by the Lord  so beware where you tread. 

 

Please be careful who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life.  Be very careful who you allow to speak  over you or your family especially when they do not share the same values.   Do not let them rummage around in your life.     Most of all it is important that they really do respect and value godly principles.  Know it is always  important to establish safe open surroundings when you do so as well as to not allow yourself to be placed in a compromising  situation… Always be attentive when anyone speaks before you. Have an exit ear when you know something that is said is not from God!  On the other hand receive any godly correction when necessary.  Know this; God is  omniscient and He holds us accountable.  When you know this is true you will  live differently!  This is why I always say: “Christ Jesus  is our Best Witness.”

 

When you properly practice sex within the confines of your marriage you can experience true spiritual and sexual fulfillment in harmony.  Agur  the son of  Jakeh speaks about the fact that  every Word of God is pure and He is a shield to those who trust Him. He speaks words of wisdom and compares and contrasts the good and bad things.  Pertaining to this subject he compares and contrasts.  “….the way of  an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship of the sea; and the way of a  man with his maid…  ” Proverbs 30   “This of course  is from a spiritual  perspective.  The only safe sex is within marriage.   You reinforce a permanent cohesive  bond that God made especially for marriage that God honors.. “Let not man put it asunder…”

 

No you do not have to become cold, reserved, indifferent and or rigid. But you do or should become disciplined! You should  respect natural boundaries. If you are cold or frigid don’t stay that way. You can learn how to properly guard your heart without becoming cold.  Love is patient, tender, strong  and kind.  Correction is also a part of love. You can learn to do this gracefully as well.  You can also learn how to open your heart, mind and soul to your committed spouse.  After all you are supposed to be or become “One.” Transparency is a wonderful thing.  However you must also  be discerning.  You can  enjoy being alone when you know you are never really alone… You can also extend sincere love to others especially when you yourself are fulfilled in your marriage! 

 

 

When you truly Love, you do not just yoke yourself up with just  anything or anyone. A proper sexual relationship is like “epoxy!” When the two adhesive components come together they form a permanent bond that technically should be very difficult or virtually impossible to break.   But both components are equally important to make it work… As you grow together in a healthy way so does your respect and trust.  Your love deepens as the Lord brings it to a higher level of conscious awareness.   I use this illustration  of glue because it visually represents “what God has joined together let not man put asunder.” It is a healthy bond that few really understand. Love always protects it does not suffocate!    Love brings freedom.  You can really trust one another!  

 

 

If you are single and desire to be married guard your heart until someone who is willing to grow in Love & Life with you comes along.    Don’t  just give parts of yourself away for a fling…    Date to marry not to simply  try out one another…   This will only leave you emptier… Embracing “abstinence”  will keep you safe.  If this has not been the case start now…  Start each day fresh and present your needs to the Lord.  Take some time to let Him refuel, refresh and cleanse you. Cling to the Lord and trust Him to supply your relationship needs in a healthy way until that right someone comes along. Be strong in Him and don’t compromise who you are in Him.   Really begin to value the person you are becoming. No one can be a better you than you.  You have something that only you can offer.  Life is precious & God is always Good!  Seek to always be a “Better You!” Don’t sell yourself short. Each day is a Gift from the Lord. You are not alone and He is there for you willing to go every step of the way…

 

 

Love does not sanction wrong. It is within a healthy marriage one learns properly how to have their sexual desires fulfilled. As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is room for improvement in ALL of us.  You cannot change anything that has already happened. But you can press forward knowing that GOD LOVES YOU! If you have not already, begin developing a relationship where you can mutually get your needs met. There is a oneness that one can experience in marriage that GOD sanctions. When you are truly fulfilled you will have no need or desire to indulge in extra marital affairs.   You will work together and not against God’s purpose for you lives like Aquila & Priscilla.  You will also  readily disengage from what you know is not of God. You  truly will experience trust in a beautiful way.  You understand and practice the benefits of self control. You embrace the Truth of God’s Word and seek HIS Will for your life and your marriage. You will also have great security knowing that you are honoring God in your relationship!

SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 5