Book Release – “Proverbs Daily Devotional Goldmine Of Spiritual Wisdom”
August 7, 2021 by Alpha 7 Ministries
Filed under Bible Study, Christian Living, Church, Featured Articles, life, Marriage & Relationships
Do you want to learn how to make better decisions in every area of your life?
“God Is Always Speaking, We Just Have To Get Better At Listening!”
The Book of Proverbs is a standard of Divine Truth. These Words of wisdom are from the “Court” of King Solomon. They continue to be an endless moral affluence of powerful instructions for wise everyday living.
This Daily Devotional will help you apply practical use of the Proverbs, and to seek after wisdom. It examines all 31 Proverbs, highlighting proverbial lessons you can learn from the life of King Solomon, who was deemed the wisest man to ever live, by God. He left a brilliant legacy, a Goldmine of Spiritual Wisdom.
Reading and meditating upon a Proverb each day will enlighten you. It will bring you to a deeper profoundly enriched understanding of life. You will benefit as well by gaining an acutely sharpened spiritual discernment, by embracing its wisdom.
Available in all four formats (Kindle, Paperback, Hardcover, Audiobook), read or listen to a chapter daily, before or after you read a daily Proverb. It is an excellent companion to the Proverbs that will help you extract some of the spiritual nuggets of wisdom.
“For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.”
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Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self- Control” Part 9 No. 3 of 3
January 2, 2020 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”
Part 9 No. 3 of 3
Trust and good communication are crucial values within a great marriage. Transparency and intimacy are built upon trust. It is really important to not rush into making any decisions that will impact the rest of your life. Being focused is important. Take time and first consider the consequences! There is always much to learn about one another. Keep your marriage exciting. Progressively work on building good communication skills. You can maintain the spark that brought you together. Or if you have allowed it to dwindle you can rekindle it.
Here are few final things to keep in mind
Make it a point to have some good healthy quality discussions before you jump heart first into marriage. If you are already married take the time to find out how your spouse feels, thinks and processes their thoughts and emotions. Being focused is important. Please don’t just assume how they are feeling. Feelings need to be validated.
Have some deep heartfelt discussions. You need to really know what one another values.
You are two different individuals who must learn to walk together. Remember your vows you made to one another. Were they just words? Remember the love, emotions and feelings that brought you together. It is possible but it takes commitment and transparency to keep those precious moments. Emotional intimacy is important in marriage.
Each marriage has its own unique dynamics. Here are a few suggestions and questions to ponder and discuss.
What are your likes and dislikes? How do feel about having or not having children? What are your beliefs in regard to discipline? How do you feel about the manner in why or how you both handle discipline? How do you both resolve conflict? Who or what do they believe in? How do they feel about God and prayer? What are your spouse’s moral standards or convictions or do they have any at all… Is faithfulness important? What does it really mean to be faithful? What about the finances? Are there any abuse issues that need to be addressed? Are there any addictions? Is divorce an option? These are a few of the many things you want to discuss and ponder in order to build a better marriage!
When you both share the same values, morals and goals it helps to build a healthier emotional bond. You have the needed components necessary to build a strong foundation for your marriage. This also accelerates your marriage to a higher functioning level. If you have very little in common at least now you know this. As you go forward in order to build a strong marriage you want to continue to be transparent with one another.
If you do not have much in common you really need to have some serious discussion about what you are expecting from one another. What are your goals for your marriage? How do we decide whose perspective is right or better? You need to at least have some idea as to the direction your marriage is headed. You want to make sure that the feelings you have are not just “intoxicating affections.” Why? Because they won’t last. being focused is important. You really want to make sure you are on the same page about true godly love and commitment. So where do we go from here.
The growing trend today is to simply just change partners when you are not happy. Some people are quite shallow in their idea of commitment. Infidelity is a big No! No! It is vaguely possible, but few marriages ever really recover from continued infidelity. Which really is not marriage; but it is really a revolving door. This breeds distrust and insecurity. Many proceed in denial not resolving the present void or distrust. When trust has been broken it must be restored or this will become a destructive relational pattern. As adults you have the right to decide, but you always should consider the long-and short-term consequences. Divorce or continued conflict is inevitable when not fully confronted and addressed.
Let’s begin to get rid of the baggage!
I recommend taking some time to rid yourself of some of the baggage that you have been carrying before jumping into another marriage or relationship. All too often it is just pushed to the side only to rise and cause even greater problems the second or even third time around further down the road. If you are already married work with what you have. Revisit your vows. Take inventory and then set some goals together. Recapture the good tender moments that brought you together. It’s important to make plans together. Your marriage won’t just work itself out.
The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. The TRUTH is, its greener because they water it consistently, they maintain, feed and take care of it. Your marriage will be what you both make it.
Now is the time to begin to exercise self-control as well as fervently embrace all the rest of the benefits of earnestly seeking the Lord for the “Fruit of the Spirit.” After all you have or did make a Covenant with one another and to God… This makes your marriage a Holy agreement. Or perhaps just words you repeated? Being focused is important. Setting and reaching goals together is important. Therefore, seek quality Holy Help from God whenever necessary. Humble yourself before the Lord. The Fruit of His Spirit is produced within us only by God’s precious Holy Spirit. What is so beautiful about God is; God cannot ever be manipulated. However, He is always omnipresent with us and always knows absolutely where we are coming from. GOD is The SPIRIT of TRUTH! This is why it is so vitally important to establish an ongoing genuine relationship of Trust with Him. You do not even have to speak aloud a word. He hears and knows all that is spoken or unspoken. What an awewonderful powerful God He is for He truly is; “THE MOST HIGH GOD!”
“Praying without ceasing” is a meditative state of mind that keeps us focused upon staying connected to GOD!
Know this, marriage is only for this side of Heaven. We are bestowed with the opportunity to experience the ultimate human oneness in marriage while we inhabit the earth. Your marriage will be whatever you allow it to be… There is no marrying in Heaven. So, if this is your choice for here on earth give it your best. Reach for a life of quality! Always trust God to lead you not only in your marriage but in all areas of your life for in Him rests complete understanding and wisdom. In God you can be whole!
Praying together is important as well! Praying without ceasing” all throughout your day keeps you connected to the Lord. It is an intimate personal wireless communication connection with God. This is a cognizant healthy state of mind clarity when you practice being focused upon God. This is how you become whole. Your desire should always be to please God. “Perfect Love casts our fear.” Trusting God is one of the most important things that you can ever learn to do. For God always has our best interest at heart. He is our endless source of love and wisdom. God will never leave nor forsake us! This can and will keep you from being depressed or fearful. “FATHER GOD ALWAYS KNOWS BEST!”
Happiness is a choice, so you both need to decide to make this a mutual goal. There will be highs and lows. Unhappiness does not have to be the theme of your marriage. So always make love deposits of care, concern, love, respect, romance and thoughtfulness to your marriage. This will help you weather the storms of life. It leaves less room for anxiety and unhappiness to dominant your lives and marriage. Strive and thrive to create a nurturing safe haven. This also helps you to rise above the storms of life. You cannot change one another. But you can create a healthy atmosphere that fosters change. There is always room for improvement in all of us. “We are forever becoming. We never arrive.” Well that is the case until Christ Jesus comes for us. You can help bring out the better qualities in one another. Or you can bring out the worst in one another. Take note of your personal progress. Work on becoming the “Best You.” Your marriage should always be a priority. Working together will have definite amazing results!
Exercising self-control is a choice. If you are weak in this area. Get right! Rather than tearing one another down all the time build one another up! Chastise one another in love instead to encourage self-improvement. Correction is a part of love. Challenge one another. Do withdraw from nagging. Abandon dysfunctional ways of living. Check yourself! Don’t allow carnality to rule your life. Uphold healthy boundaries. Self-control is helpful in all areas our lives. Love attracts. So, make it a goal to keep your love alive! Have some good healthy dialogue and let whatever has hindered your marriage to this point go and move forward as partners. Never take one another for granted.
No, you do not go forward in denial. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. You want to remember, and you also want to get over the pain. It means that you have decided to let whatever it is go and move forward not holding the offense against them. The past becomes a reminder of your decision to let go and move on. Or make it a point before you go down that road to minimize making pain a major component in your life and marriage. You make a point to consciously let go of the old offenses and make way for the new awaiting life. This is a lifestyle change for a better future! This is possible when you don’t allow the not so good large or small things of the past to become the present… Each day now becomes a new day for building a better life and marriage. If your marriage is great Hallelujah Thank God!
“LIVE BEFORE AN AUDIENCE OF ONE!”
Welcome embracing all the “Fruit of the Spirit” in your life every day. Life is a precious gift from God. I assure you that in the long run, you will be much happier. Since God has given us all free choice make it a goal to continuously make better choices even if you already do. The spiritual warfare about us is real and continues to want to hinder us sometimes in the slightest ways. When you daily apply and practice godly principles you and your spouse will also benefit greatly. You both can become stronger together. “Iron sharpeneth iron” Come what may, be encouraged! You can do this; because remember happiness is a choice!
By the way, if you are divorced, in the process of a divorce married or remarried make a sincere attempt to not involve the children in your disputes. If you have; STOP! DON’T TRY AND MAKE ADULTS OUT OF YOUR CHILDREN. They are already suffering because of the disharmony that they see or sense between you. They too also have their own challenges dealing with growing up since we live in a very complicated complex world. Please don’t use them as message carriers. It is selfish to use them for your emotional support. You both are supposed to be their caregivers… After all, your first priority should be for their emotional well-being. Please do not go on a guilt trip about what has been. Stay on the Narrow Path with God. Seek now to make life a pleasant journey. Do remember and embrace the lessons learned from it. And yes, continue to press forward.
In the case of divorce, the truth is you two were not able to resolve your own conflicts. This may be the case of one or both of you. Children are more observant than you think. You have been in an emotional battle, and it has spawned some residual hurt feelings. Their resentment will surface in many ways due to the collateral damage they are experiencing. This may not have been your intention but there is a residual of resentment. Give your children the opportunity to express themselves. But it is important that they are always encouraged to be responsible and respectful. Seek to break the cycle of dysfunction. Allow their reactions to be the catalyst and motivation to want to build an even heathier environment for them. Keep in mind they have their own natural stresses and growing pains to manage through… You want to help prepare them for whenever they decide to marry. They still need to learn how to develop healthy coping skills and so do you as parents. Let this encourage you to model to them the “Fruit of the Spirit” as you all move forward together or separately. Always focus on how to improve your quality of life and building a healthy environment in and around you mentally, physically as well as visually.
Be careful of who you receive counsel from or who you allow to speak into your marriage or your life. Experience is not always the best teacher. But it is always wise to welcome godly wisdom. When someone says something that you do not like or agree with it does not necessarily mean that they are being negative. Loving others is not telling them what they want to hear. If its true ponder and accept it or if not have exit ear and keep progressively moving forward. Be accountable to God for your own behavior. Make sure that you own up to your contribution of whatever problems or issues your marriage is experiencing. Marriage is supposed to be a team effort. Not all spouses naturally embrace teamwork. But it does not necessarily take a team to destroy your marriage. By one spouse’s own willful behavior divorce can result. It does take both of you working together not against one another to make it work.
Diligently daily seek the Lord’s direction. Make it a priority to take time to; “BE STILL and KNOW”
Psalm 46
As a believer it should always be more important to you to please GOD. This does not mean getting caught up in all the local Church activities to the degree you neglect your home life. Know it also pleases God when you keep your vows you have made to Him and your spouse. Ministry starts in your home. In this 21st century some of everything goes on within the many places of worship. So stay focused and also be aware of what is going on about you. Establish a mode of sincerely worshipping God. You must commit to spend time with the Lord in His Word and draw closer to Him. Your own personal Bible Study and studying together is important as well. This is where and how you will gain healthier spiritual strength. Remember we the people are God’s Church.
There really is nothing more important than growing closer to God. He is the quintessential essence of everlasting life. I assure you, all that you will ever need for life, daily living and eternal life you can discover in an ongoing healthy personal intimate relationship with God.
Remember our relationship as Believers with God is eternal. For there is life beyond earth. Be certain today without a doubt where you will spend eternity. GOD IS OMNISCIENT! When you seek HIM above all else there are marvelous unlimited benefits. Know that your body is the Temple of God. You need to feed and nurture your body and soul spiritually and physically. Know when and how to eat and know when to fast. Think and ponder upon this for a moment; God is the Creator of Heaven and earth. He is the Creator of man and woman. No one knows better than He about anything. He can and will direct you in every area of your life. He will never leave nor forsake you. To truly know this you must believe this without doubt.
Marriage God’s way can and does work. God has ordained marriage so do not leave Him out of it. But you both must be willing to mutually embrace His godly principles and actually implement them within your marriage. God wants to be a part of every area of your life. God does not want you to spend your life unhappy, bitter or broken. God does not have to break you to use you. He can meet you right where you are. But He does want you to take seriously the vows that you both made to Him. You can recover from this. But recovery takes hard work!
Every day is a precious “GIFT” from the Lord. What you do with your life is your gift to Him. Strive and thrive to be better helpmeets to one another. So, lets get busy building a life and a marriage that lasts. This way everyone benefits. May your efforts in Holy Matrimony prevail!
“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control…” Galatians 5. May they all by God’s marvelous grace manifest, multiply and abound within your lives, homes and your marriage!
May God’s Eternal Everlasting Love begin to flourish and abound between you now and forever!
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 2 of 3
January 1, 2020 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”
Part 9
No. 2 of 3
Marriage is a spiritual battle ground in this 21st century. Look around you! Division wants to nest itself within your marriage; so be aware. Have you noticed the frequency in which couples are divorcing? Why is this? Many enter into marriage without first really getting to know this person who they have promised to love and cherish.
Take the time to get to know one another better rather than to simply co-exist. For your marriage to endure it is important to build a strong foundation.
Self-control is a viable component of a strong healthy marriage. There are many forces at work to create havoc within your marriage. One must pray for discernment. It is important that you make your marriage and one another’s well-being an important priority. Self-control when consistently exercised will help both of you enhance and safeguard your marriage. Implementing self-control in all aspects of your life is wise. For it also helps you to have healthy boundaries and set limits. This is what helps us to be mature and responsible. You know when to start and stop, when to do and not to do something or simply when to stop or do nothing at all… By both of you embracing and implementing self-control you are actually better equipped to develop healthy boundaries together that keep your marriage safe and secure.
Marriage is serious business and is not for immature people. Immaturity is ageless so just because you are getting older does not necessarily mean that you are ready. There are some things you need to consider. God is always available to help us in all areas of our life. Selfishness or either spouse being self-centered will hinder your marriage from growing in a healthy manner. As two uniquely different people you are committing to keep one another’s well-being as a priority. It is hard to be selfish when you are caring and considerate. However, you do still manage to afford one another needed space to grow and flourish. Over time you actually learn a harmonic cadence of being together or whenever working or walking side by side.
Marriage ideally speaking is for one man and one woman who are in one way or another somewhat flawed. This is not to assume negativity exists. But the need for further growth in learning how to be together as you also grow individually. As you come together you both smooth out the rough edges to increase a flow in the relationship. Together you define as well as refine your marriage. In the Lord we are in a continuous mode of being perfected in Him. For it is only in GOD who is our Creator and Maker that we actually can be or become complete! God did not make us to be robots. He has given us free choice. As we embrace and choose His principles He equips and refines us. Together you each learn how to rise above any imperfections. Marriage is all about teamwork. You elect to strive and thrive for the perfection that is attainable in a healthy God-centered marriage. Perfection meaning being complete.
This is a desirable goal for those who desire to want to mature and grow together and become better individuals working together as a committed team. It is never too late to start. This also helps us become better individuals. We become better equipped at recognizing different personality traits and behaviors. As well as being sensitive to the needs of those about us. We all are so quite different. You both choose the pathway for your marriage. Keep in mind “ALL have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of GOD…” God has truly given us an excellent flawless example in how He The Father, Son and Holy Spirit all work together as One! As believers we do not or should not allow sin to reign within our lives. Abba Father God is absolutely amazing! We have our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus to call upon 24/7 to help us… This is why we all need HIM as LORD! Therefore, no matter how much we grow in the Lord’s grace there is always room for improvement as long as He has us on this side of Heaven.
CHRISTIANITY really is a daily lifestyle!
Let’s get busy!
Each day we are to strive for the perfection that can only be discovered in the Lord. “GOD IS LOVE!” It is in HIM you can increasingly become complete. Being perfect in the Lord is not being arrogant. It is learning how to be content in HIM! GOD would not say “Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect…” Matthew 5 If it were not possible God would not tell us otherwise. It is with the help of the Lord we can become all that He has created us to be and become. Let’s get busy!
Spiritual Oneness in marriage is actually designed to be a harmonic journey. Love, trust and security are components of a good solid marriage. Yes we can also be on one accord with others. But marriage in Ephesians gives us a really great example of how our marriages should reflect and emulate the Love that GOD has for His Church. This is why it is important to keep GOD in the Center! You are aware that the Lord is Omnipresent, Omniscient & Omnipotent. Therefore, you reverently fear God. So, you not only respect your marriage but the marriages of others as well. Marriage should not be taken lightly. In the spiritual sense “two become one” as they are united and committed in their desire to grow in love. True Love has no end. Remember marriage ordained by GOD is; “HOLY MATRIMONY!”
Always remember and keep in mind what the WORD teaches us. Each spouse should seek to become perfect in the LORD. It is God Himself who ordained marriage from the very beginning. So, this is not an unattainable goal. However, it requires dedication, love, patience, and perseverance. This is quite often misunderstood from a carnal perspective. Remember, becoming perfect in the Lord means to become complete in HIM, not flawless. Nor do we use excuses or condone anything that goes against God’s Word. Everything that you will ever need for Life & Living can be discovered in an ever-growing personal intimate relationship with the Lord. We never get to the point that we do not need God. This is why He has given us our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and His precious Holy Spirit and Comforter.
GOD wants us to be united in HOLY MATRIMONY!
In of ourselves we will always fall short. But God is able to keep us from falling. HIS Holy Spirit is always present to HELP US. HE IS THE ULTIMATE COMFORTER. It is our choice to seek God’s will & way. As you begin to really embrace the TRUTH of HIS WORD you can responsively say; “I CAN DO ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME” Philippians 4. It is also our choice to become disciplined and constantly reach for HIS HOLY HELP! It is good to know that God is omnipresent.
In marriage you learn to give up “me-ness for we-ness!”
Self-control helps you to honor your marriage vows. You choose to not let the world and its ever-changing morality influence your commitment to one another. Instead, together you elect to influence the world with God’s principles. You confront issues in love. It is important to not let resentment fester. You embrace your vows and commence to live out your lives working together through any difficulties. You realize that it is mere spiritual warfare designed to pull you away from your Center. All was remember, “GOD IS LOVE!” When God is truly the Center of your marriage, your love blossoms and continuously grows as you learn to soar through life and enjoy the many mountaintop experiences as well. Life can become difficult at times. Yes, there will also be some low times. Without the lows you would not appreciate the highs mountain top moments. God can always bring balance into our lives. Just make it a goal that the lows are few… But together you commit to rise above them. Keep the embers of love flowing… Remember God’s love is eternal for; “GOD IS LOVE!”
The Fruit of the Spirit are essential virtues that have precious intrinsic worth that will solidify your marriage. Know without doubt that; “GOD IS LOVE!” and that His love is eternal. He is also the Creator of marriage. Love is part of the Fruit of HIS SPIRIT. LOVE is truly a priceless GIFT from the LORD. When you both strive to build a healthy living environment that welcomes love, harmony; trust and respect together you really can build a fulfilling, satisfying strong everlasting marriage.
A godly marriage is a covenant agreement known as; HOLY MATRIMONY.
Part 9
No. 3 0f 3
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control” Part 9 No. 1 of 3
January 9, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Self-Control”
Part 9
No. 1 of 3
Fruit of the SPIRIT
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness need to be accompanied with self-control. All of the above are components of the “Fruit of the Spirit” that manifests within us as we truly embrace God within our lives. As we consistently spend time in the Word of God and begin to actually implement His principles we grow spiritually. There are major benefits when you both embrace and employ them within your marriage.
We have finally made it to self-control! Although it is the last one listed it is a top priority. There are 9 components to the Fruit of the Spirit. Part 9 of this miniseries will conclude in 3 parts so bear with me and read on. Your comments are welcomed!
GOD IS LOVE
When you married or whenever you decide to marry it is important to know that marriage is a Covenant Agreement. You made or will make a solemn vow to love your spouse. True love lasts forever! Love is a crucial essential element of a good marriage. It is important to know how your spouse defines and interprets love! It is even more important to know that “GOD IS LOVE!”
Search the scriptures assiduously to arrive at a better understanding of what and who love really is. Learn from Your Creator who is Love. True love continues to grow and flourish. Like God it is eternal. Self-control is a component of love. Love will help you weather the storms of life. It enables you to rise to the peaks and go through the tempestuous valley experiences that often occur, when building a strong, intimate, healthy, satisfying marriage that endures the tests of time.
It is important to embrace as well s practice Self-Control!
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit will build a good healthy strong loving marriage with a strong sure foundation.
Self-Control is so very important! It will help you in every area of your life! Self-control allows you to be controlled from within rather than by any sort of outer, physical, mental, or emotional remote control. You simply don’t just automatically react to anything or anyone and let it trigger an impulsive response. Instead you choose to respond in a responsible manner. Or whenever you do react impulsively you are readily willing to admit that you were at fault. This is exercising self-control. Your heart also becomes disciplined. The more you walk in self-control the more it becomes a part of who you are.
Remember practice makes permanent!
Wow! We have finally reached the finale in our quest to encourage you to embrace the “Fruit of the Spirit” within your marriage. Once you truly have GOD in your life you have unlimited access to a plethora of possibilities. He is OMNIPOTENT! The more you practice self-control the better you become at exercising it personally. Remember and embrace; “I can DO ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME.”
Faithfully spend time with the Lord in HIS WORD!
Self-control defined is: “the ability to exercise restraint over one’s feelings reactions etc. The act of denying yourself and controlling your impulses.” BY THE WAY YOU WON’T JUST EAT ANYTHING… Keep this definition in mind as we continue on.
Part 9
No. 2 of 2
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit in your marriage “Gentleness” Part 8
January 9, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Gentleness”
Part 8
The Fruit of the Spirit is actually a natural spontaneous occurrence that happens in our lives as we grow spiritually. Our character and personality is wonderfully shaped as we embrace God’s principles. The Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.
Gentleness is important. Let’s now focus on the benefits of embracing gentleness within our marriage. You can develop a mutually beneficial symbiotically satisfying marital relationship where each partner is respected and appreciated!
Marriage is meant to be an endearing, beautiful, romantic, fulfilling, life long spiritual union coming together as one, between a man and a woman. Your marriage should be equally cherished by both of you. If this is not the case; time to get busy. You have some work to do. Dust off your vows, revisit, renew and now actually implement them within your marriage. Together working as a team, you can accomplish great things together!
Your marriage should be or should become a priority if this is not the case. Did you know that you and your spouse are actually copartners in a covenant agreement? You have made promises to one another that go much deeper than a piece of paper! Your marriage will be what you make it… Learning to be sensitive, caring and gentle will help you build a cohesive, enjoyable healthy interconnected marriage. The well-being of one another is a priority in this type of marriage. Embracing gentleness allows you to let your guard down with one another! Your weaknesses come to the forefront, and you become transparent and open with one another, and your trust deepens.
Marriage is meant to be an ongoing exciting lifelong quest together improving, growing, and becoming the best person you can be. You remain two separate individuals who are dedicated to growing together and working as an unbreakable team working side by side. You chastise and challenge one another. You also complement one another as well as build one another up!
Gentleness is important because it allows you not to hide behind the hard shield your personality must sometimes develops in order to protect yourself from the world and its influences. You must learn how to guard your heart. But within a good trusting marriage there is no need. For as your love deepens your heart remains open. You can instead allow your spouse to embrace you in a most tangible intimate way that is usually exclusively reserved for marriage. I must say you can enjoy one another even when you are not feeling well… You cannot even utter a word and one another knows how the other is feeling. Spiritual “ONENESS” in marriage helps you to always keep a level of respect for one another. You build healthy boundaries around your marriage. You both commit to do what is best for the marriage. This is why you should not just join yourself to anyone!
When you invite the Lord into your marriage together you are able to weather the multiplicity of storms that life brings your way. When you disagree, you stand firm, but you don’t allow bitterness and strife to permanently nest itself between you. When one is down the other spouse brings comfort and maintains a healthy nurturing environment. Give both gentle and firm embraces. Learn to hug one another with kind thoughtful words. Gentleness makes you come close in your romantic moments as well not just physically but emotionally. You learn to allow room for your love to manifest in many ways… It takes inner strength and security for Gentleness to be appropriately and sincerely expressed. In this case You both are truly equally yoked!
When you do not allow gentleness to become a part of your marriage your hearts instead harden. God’s love tenderizes our hearts. (He teaches us how to guard our hearts from outsiders who seek to bring discord or messiness. But keep it open to our spouses and loved ones…) When you are hard hearted whenever you disagree you often become divided and resentment and unforgiveness instead sets in. This is why so many marriages end in bitterness and divorce. Some bring a lot of that bitterness with them. This should not be. One may often remain faithful as the other ones drifts… Rather than work through their difficulties and storms they begin to pull you further apart.
There are spiritual benefits as you learn to walk in meekness. For meekness is power under control. You also are embracing gentleness & strength as you are exercising discipline and self-control. “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Matthew 5
Marriage should not be full of drudgery hard harsh words continuous meaningless encounters and a lot of unhappiness. Life is too short. You want to make your own love story. Adding a bit of fairytale like charm here and there to your marriage is good. But keep it real! The difference is you are totally aware of life and reality. When you build your marriage upon trust, love, respect and embrace the Fruit of the Spirit your marriage will flourish and endure! Time is precious and it passes by every so quickly.
Marriage is the oldest traditional institution known to mankind designed by God. It is the foundational relationship upon which the family was built upon. As you practice gentleness in marriage it becomes a part of who you are! You are better able to balance out the harshness that life so often presents. You have an abiding peace and comfort level between you. The core of who you are is openly shared with your spouse and you know that both are totally exposed to the Lord! You also know that God really is Omnipresent. So, you both have committed to submitting to the Lord’s will and way in your lives by honoring your marriage vows. When a couple yields to the Lord His fruit will begin to multiply and manifests within their marriage. Gentleness allows your hearts to genuinely cleave together! What God has truly joined together man cannot pull apart…
Keep in mind; “GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR of confusion” I Corinthians 14 It is never too late to give God His place within your marriage. Remember; After all you made a vow.
The last and next very important part of the Fruit of the Spirit is Self-Control. Embracing self-control will help you in every area of your life!
“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and …” Galatians 5.
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within you marriage “Faithfulness” Part 7
January 9, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Faithfulness”
Part 7
Faithfulness
Faithfulness is a very important aspect of building a strong healthy marriage!
Marriage really is about teamwork! Is your marriage really what you expected? Or did you expect things to just happen? Your marriage will not bloom and flourish unless you both put forth an effort. The two of you need to make a conscious genuine attempt to honor your marriage vows. Your health, mental state, physical stamina and well-being are greatly impacted by the manner in which you relate in your marriage! Together you have the ability to create a healthy, invigorating, enjoyable, relaxing and harmonious home environment.
Marriage is the ultimate partnership relationship between a man and a woman! A good marriage embraces loyalty and faithfulness! Faithfulness is an expression of love!
Growing together in your marriage
It is important to learn to become transparent with your spouse. Marriage is about continuously growing and encouraging one another to become the best person that they can be… This way everyone benefits.
Make it a point to become increasingly aware of one another’s temperaments! Temperament is how we react or respond to people, places and things in any given situation. Temperament is our God given innate inherent characteristics that make us unique. No two persons are really the same. God made each of us as originals. But two people can learn to live together in harmony as we respect one another. This is how your love grows!
Embrace allowing the “Fruit of the Spirit” to flourish within each of you as well as within your marriage. Chastise one another yes, but speak the truth in love! Timing is key. There are times you must say to your spouse what no one else will say. “Be strong in the Lord!” This is to help one another to grow and improve. Rather than focusing on one another’s shortcomings, frequently look for times to build one another up and encourage one another when the opportunity arises. This also builds transparency and intimacy.
Building Intimacy Together
Physical and emotional intimacy is important in marriage. This too will enhance your moments of close physical intimacy. A good strong marriage makes you both better and stronger individuals who have one another’s best interest at heart. This is true wherever you are, whether if you are apart or together. You are secure knowing that you always have one another’s heart between you. Learn to lay aside improper or dysfunctional ways that will only hinder your spiritual growth as well as your marriage.
Always remember; You honor God when you honor your marriage!
Lovingly, and faithfully work together to make sure that one another’s sexual needs and desires are realized and fulfilled within your marriage. Your physical intimacy becomes yet another committed expression of the depth of your love for one another. Transparency, trust and sensitivity are also a part of being intimate with one another. Keep in mind God is our Creator & Maker you can always prayerfully consult Him in building a mutually pleasing time of coming together. You really can work through any issues that hinder you from coming together and freely expressing yourselves to one another…
Coming together as one is natural. There is no need for shame when expressing what God made to be a beautiful time of coming together! Physically, emotionally and intimately the “two become one flesh” Within marriage the “marriage bed” is honorable in the sight of God. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they were one flesh. And they both were naked, the man and woman his wife, and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2 “Adam knew Eve!” Husband and wife should learn to know one another likes and dislikes… “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed should always be kept pure.” Hebrews 13. You both commit to honor not only your marriage but the marriages of others.
There is security in faithfulness
Faithfulness is part of the Fruit of the Spirit! When you are faithful it yields oodles of security! You both know no matter what; that you can trust one another and that you are there for one another. Even when you disagree you have inner peace about your marriage because there is a deep well of trust built into the foundation of your relationship. You can even disagree respectfully. Your marriage is a high priority!
Life is complex and at times very difficult… Everyone has a bad day… So, you do not readily personalize your spouse’s every word or frustration. You allow one another to vent when needed… You respect one another and become sensitive to their needs. Do not allow pride to take the reign of your marriage, be humble, caring, discerning and loving. This takes inner strength and patience… Faithfulness allows you to give one another the room to grow and give each other some space whenever necessary.
Marriage is sacred in the eyes of God! Spend some time daily in His Word. Embrace and implement His principles for life and living within your marriage. He is the original Designer of marriage. God’s way really does works when we adhere to His principles. Building a strong loving marriage involves commitment and gentleness. Respect is key in building a great marriage. You can still be strong but and be gentle. Gentleness is another part of the Fruit of the Spirit we will discuss next in this series. I hope that this has been helpful and you are encouraged to take responsibility for your part in making your marriage successful!
When you honor your marriage vows you honor God!
“But the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness…” Galatians 5. These become by products of an ever increasing relationship with the Lord. Embracing God’s Word and His principles grows us in His Grace.
Marriage God’s way comes with marvelous benefits. Marriage is a commitment to work together for a common goal. You can be united as One! Therefore, you should marry because we want to grow in love together for a lifetime. As you honor God within your marriage He will bless you by multiplying and manifesting the Fruit of His Spirit within both of you Faithfulness is a part of His Fruit.
Benefits of Faithfulness
Faithfulness genuinely says that I take my vows to you and to God seriously. That I love you and I am here for you no matter what and together we can make it through anything! Transparency and intimacy is encouraged. You not only remain faithful to one another but you are also faithful to God as well! Yes things will happen… However, you can always invite God into the “messiness” of your life because you know that God is forever faithful! God is more than able! He has given us His Comforter to Help us! Respect is key in building a great marriage.
While in this world we are living within a spiritual warzone. Therefore you can expect some of everything… However, the battle is not ours. We are to remain alert and daily adorned within the spiritual armor. Regardless of what the world is doing; We know that His precious Holy Spirit can help us 24/7. Thank God for Christ Jesus! There are many benefits in learning how to embrace and implement the Fruit of God’s Spirit within your marriage. So now let’s move towards learning how to embrace gentleness…
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Goodness” Part 6
January 8, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Goodness”
Did you know that marriage is a sacred, intimate, holy relationship sanctioned by God between a man and a woman? After God created everything and saw that it was good; God saw that the man He had made did not have a helpmeet. The animals, the beasts of the field, the livestock, as well as the birds of the air all had someone to be with… See Genesis 1 for more information.
The first Man & Woman as Husband & Wife
Adam was alone as a man without someone to help him and spend time with on a human level that he could relate to personally. Actually Adam at this time was still in a perfect, flawless sinless state of being. Yet, he too needed someone to be by his side. God had compassion upon Adam. This is what He did; “So God caused Adam to fall in a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and brought her to the man.” Genesis 1. It is here that we get a comprehensible picture of God’s original design for marriage. God created marriage out of His goodness and everlasting love!
Adam and Eve were naked and they were not ashamed. Remember their physical bodies were made and shaped by God. He created them to be joined together as one. Everything that God made was good. At this time they were perfect for one another. This is of course was before they sinned and decided to instead disobey God and do their own thing. God gives us all free choice! Adam & Eve is the model template for marriage His way. He is the original Designer and knows what is best for the man and woman He created. God created marriage as a gift to Adam & Eve. He created them to experience, physical & emotional “oneness” within marriage. Marriage is serious business. Your marriage will be whatever you together decide to make it!
Coming together as One
The goal of marriage is to experience the ultimate oneness that is possible between a man and a woman! Marriage is a Covenant relationship. This is not to be taken lightly. Man and woman’s physical structures are anatomically and emotionally designed to fit together as one. In the eyes of God there is no shame in coming together as husband & wife. Within the context of marriage they are to learn how to meet one another’s need for mutual physical sexual intercourse within the boundaries of marriage. Reproduction and pleasure are possible which usually involves penetration as their sexual organs are joined together.
Although sex happens quite often outside of marriage it is not sanctioned by God! Or choosing to live together without a marriage commitment as though you are husband & wife; is still not sanctioned by God. This is why many call this; “Shacking!” However, it is your choice. Know; you are actually choosing to live outside of God’s Will…
Adam and Eve were joined together, as husband and wife and they were not ashamed. They were considered as one*, because they were created as one. God gave them sacred boundaries to live by. They had no limitations on their ability to flourish and grow until they decided to do their own thing. The good thing about marriage; this is where the man and woman can together build physical and emotional intimacy within a lifetime committed relationship. Although today, many marriages in excess of 55% now result in divorce this is not what God intended. “Haven’t you read in the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said; ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So, they are no longer two, but one* Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19. Marriage between a man and woman in the eyes of God is good!
Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh
Take some time and look deeper into the WORD! When the LORD made the Man HE also made the Woman. He actually later took the rib bone out of the Man He created and formed the Woman. This is why she is called “Bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh…” It is healthy to desire to want to be close to your spouse. This is why it should be a natural desire to be together as one. Not only physically, but spiritually, emotionally and mentally as well.
This is why we anatomically fit together as one because we were made as one from the very beginning. Think spiritually if you will. Whenever you come together you can experience natural physical oneness. This is a closeness like no other. After all you both have committed to one another and to God? Or did you? This bonds you together in a circle. This is why you always want to keep God and His principles within the circle of marriage.
This is why you want to know and understand that there is something deeper happening here than just a pleasurable moment. You are in fact giving yourself to one another. You are actually bonding… Be very careful who you allow to become a part of you. As a woman know that you are allowing the man to make a deposit within you. WOW! This is why marriage should not be taken lightly.
There is power in unity when you allow the LORD HIS PLACE within your marriage, heart and home.
This is also why there is so much spiritual warfare to try and undermine GOD’S DESIGN for Man & Woman. There is power in unity. Marriage is the 1st and only relationship between one man and one woman designed for “HOLY MATRIMONY,” that is honored by GOD! It is important to always holdfast to your marital commitment. The world says do as you please when you please and with whomever you please. God gives us the freedom of choice. He did not make us robots. We, however, must take responsibility for the choices we make. Choices come with consequences. The choices that go against what God has said eventually yields division.
Everything that GOD made was GOOD. One must learn to think spiritually rather than carnally when it comes to marriage between a man and a woman. For it is a “Covenant Relationship” sanctioned by God. Today nothing is sacred to many. They tend to lean toward being carnally minded when it comes to the spiritual union of marriage. They are lacking in their spiritual understanding in regards to marriage between a man and a woman. The spiritual warfare is designed to pervert and undermine everything GOOD that comes from the LORD!
THE LORD IS AWESOME; “HE IS ABSOLUTELY AWEWONDERUL!
This is why it is so important to read & know GOD’S timeless WORD! As you read HIS LIVING WORD ask HIS HOLY SPIRIT to open up your understanding and reveal to you the TRUTH! HIS WORD is our necessary essential SPIRITUAL FOOD for our mind, body and souls!
Today in this 21st century many marriages are falling short of God’s design, but this still has not changed His original intentions. They have gotten off track. God designed marriage to be indissoluble! The pressures of society continue to press upon many to once again; “do their own thing!” Therefore, their vows become easily abdicated. Please think long and hard before you commit or break your vow of commitment to your marriage.
There is much spiritual warfare to split apart marriages, to sow discord among spouses and families and disrupt God’s design for life and living. Sad but true, some purposefully come into your life to disrupt harmony and bring division within your family. This is often the case when they have not resolved their own issues. There are deep spiritual consequences that are not always apparent. There is a way to reconcile marriages that have gone awry (but that is another whole book in itself.) So please be sure when you decide to say, “I DO!” If not; it is a good thing to remain single. If you are not sure or have serious doubts! Wait!!! However, it is your choice to have whatever type of relationship(s) you desire… Yet, always remember there are consequences for those choices as well.
It is important to spend time with God to better understand His plan for your life.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, are all wonderful aspects of the Fruit of God’s Spirit! Loyalty, commitment, dedication, monogamy, harmony, trust and integrity are some of the many components of a good healthy “Covenant Marriage” as well. We can experience unity and empowerment within our marriages as we rely on God’s principles for marriage. Marriage is honorable in the eyes of God. When you honor your vows and the marriages of others you honor God! “Where two or three are gathered together in His Name, He is in the midst…” Matthew 18 Relying upon our own wisdom and the ways of the world often increases the risk of relinquishing the plan that God has for your lives.
God is faithful! Faithfulness is the next part of the Fruit of God’s Spirit that we will discuss…
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Kindness” Part 5
January 8, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Kindness”
Part 5
Kindness is a virtue. Mutual kindness needs to be embedded throughout your marriage. Marriage is the first institution between a man and a woman that was created by God. Marriage is designed to be a mutually loving, satisfying partnership experience. As husband and wife you both have made sacred vows to honor one another as well as God! A part of honoring those vows means to be considerate of one another and sincerely extending kindness to one another. Kindness is a part of the Fruit of the Spirit! It is very important to continue to nurture your marriage when you truly desire to build a healthy lasting and rewarding marital relationship.
Strive to be kind to one another
What is kindness really? Kindness defined according to the Encarta Dictionary is; “A compassionate act; an act that shows consideration and caring.” This is why kindness is so important within marriage.
All too often more consideration and thought are often placed into the planning of the wedding or ceremony than the actual marriage itself. If you have allowed your relationship to go stale and the two of you are drifting apart you can do something about it. This is true regardless at whatever your age is, as well as however long you two have been married. As long as there is breath in your body there is room for improvement.
The quality of your marriage can or should improve like a fine antique. But you both must make it a priority to value and take care of your marriage. Tend it like a nice garden. Think about it! What was your purpose for marrying anyway? Was it to make one another miserable? During your dating or courtship there must have been some tender moments that drew you together? Or did you do so out of sheer obligation? Or in some cases perhaps you had an arranged marriage and you are expecting love to follow… Whatever the case there is always room for improvement!
Kindness should be an integral part of your marriage. Being kind brings warmth and yields sparks of compassion and understanding. It holds selfishness at bay when you consider how your spouse is feeling. You care enough to speak the truth in love and want what is best for one another. Kindness brings trust and freedom! Knowing that your spouse is committed to you and the marriage yields security!
Life brings experience
Life is serious and we are living in some interesting times. Life is full of many mountaintop and valley experience. Even when things are not going well when you embrace kindness it allows you to be at peace with one another. Disagreements are normal. But they do not have to be resolved by resorting to name calling, hurling hurtful word for words and physical or mental abuse. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, those who love it will eat its fruits!” Proverbs 18.
A good healthy argument is great and allows you both times to vent! But please don’t fuss and fight like children all the time. If or when one or both of you are angry, table the discussion for a reasonable period of time later on until you can discuss things rationally. Yes! Keep the child in you alive but do not allow it to take control. The child in you loves to have fun it also likes to have its way.
The growing adult in you must be willing to take responsibility whenever necessary. Kindness and consideration prevents dysfunction from nesting itself within the marriage. Dealing with the issues at hand and the desire to keep moving forward will help you build a strong secure fulfilling ever growing marriage!
Women & men were created to be loved
Gentlemen it is important to know that a woman was made to be loved! Taking the time to listen and be sensitive, supportive and caring to her needs speaks volumes. Your genuine love will help her to become all that she can be. Ladies a man desires to be loved, respected and trusted! Listen twice as much (since in general we tend to talk more) attentively and don’t be so eager to talk before he is finished expressing himself. Be sensitive, supporting, and caring of his needs as well. This in turn helps him to become all that he can become. Good open healthy communication makes a great marriage!
So embrace your vows and always freely express love, joy, peace, patience and yes; kindness! Desire and aspire to enjoy your journey together! After all marriage is really where; “the two become one flesh…”
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Patience” Part 4
January 8, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit in your marriage “Patience”
Part 4
Patience is a marvelous virtue. Patience will help you discover a deeper perspective on what is really important. It affords you the ability to have fortitude and increasing self control as you put into practice the determination to not make hasty decisions. The Encarta Dictionary defines patience in this manner; “The ability to endure waiting delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties.” It is not hard to see the immeasurable benefits of embracing patience within your marriage.
Embracing patience
When you begin to embrace patience in your marriage you make it a priority to think things through. Whenever either of you do become angry you should acknowledge and realize the need to activate patience. If you are not a patient person this is not at all easy. You have somewhat learned to blurt out however it is you are feeling and think later. This can cause you to say and do a lot of things that you will regret. You probably have become callous and a tad insensitive to how your spouse feels.
When your heart is hardened you don’t think about it at all, because it is no big deal. It is important to know you are hurting your spouse and creating an unhealthy environment. Your spouse will not readily share with you because they dread or fear how you might respond.
Take a good look in the mirror and see if you like what you see looking back at you. Are you happy or unhappy? If you are unhappy you need to change some things, but it is up to you. If this is the case, please do not let pride continue to get the best of you. Think objectively. For example, Do you respond to your spouse the way that you would like your spouse to respond to you? If you have not been getting the results that you want all the more reason to make a change…
There is hope and there is always room for improvement in all of us. As long as the Lord has us on this side of heaven we can grow. Make it a point to admit your shortcomings and strive to overcome your weakness. We all have strengths and weaknesses. This is why self-control is so important. Yes, we can take control to the degree we are able to exercise self-control. We will also later discuss the value of embracing self-control for it is also a Fruit of the Spirit! No, you don’t always get to have everything your way. Learn to become more patient. If you are angry wait until you are cooled down to respond rather than just react. Stop making excuses and begin to take control by exerting more self-discipline. Yes, you must begin to harness and control your weaknesses. This is good scripture to keep in mind “In patience possess ye your soul!” Luke 21
Make your marriage a priority
Patience is part of the Fruit of the Spirit. When you embrace patience, you also welcome intimacy. Developing a deeper personal and intimate relationship with God the Father our Creator is most helpful. This greatly benefits your marriage. Jesus Christ sacrificed His life on the cross for us. It is through Him we are able to experience the Fruit of His Spirit within our lives.
God has given us His Holy Spirit to help us and comfort us. His Holy Spirit leads us to all Truth! There is an inner deep peace that only comes from God! There is also hope in Him as well. “But hope that is seen is not hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8. A good marriage takes both spouses making the marital relationship a priority!
Make Love a priority!
Patience and peace work hand in hand. Peace grows as we wait patiently on something we desire. Love, care and concern must be a priority. You now learn to take time when before you rushed. Remember the saying; “fools rush in.” So do embrace patience. You now can begin to value your spouse for the unique individual they are. Your love blossoms. God’s Fruit becomes apparent. Now your marriage begins to flourish and blossom.
John teaches us about the peace of God and its marvelous benefits. “But the Counselor the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace, I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid!” John 14.
The beauty of the Lord is that all His Word is true! God is omnipotent; meaning that He is all powerful. Any weaknesses or shortcomings are or can become powerless when we yield them to Him! You can then become a better you. Working together you both become stronger and happier. Remember, it is important to be kind to one another.
God wants our marriages to be fulfilling. He wants to impart His love, joy and peace and patience to us. Seek the will and way of the Lord above everything. For in Him are the answers to life and daily living. It is our choice to invite His presence into whatever is going on or happening within or around us.
It is important to spend time with the Lord each day. His Word is our necessary essential spiritual food. It enriches our lives, bodies, minds & souls. This way you stay attached to the source of all power. Let nothing separate you from God’s love. Be sincere with God. For, we can call on Him at any time wherever we are. The Fruit of His Spirit naturally begins to ripen within our hearts and our marriages when we do. Come what may we do not have to be dismayed or afraid when we choose to; “Be still & know that I am God!”
There are marvelous benefits when you both embrace patience in your marriage!
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Peace” Part 3
January 8, 2016 by Elder/Minister DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Embracing the Fruit of the Spirit within your marriage “Peace”
Peace brings you a sense of inner calmness and serene tranquility. Desiring peace within your marriage is a desirable aspiration. Your marriage is or should become one of your most prized relationships. The desire to achieve a harmonic balance is attractive. Life can become difficult and very complex.
It’s important to have a place where you both can retreat from life pressures, hectic schedules and or the constant demand upon your lives. Sometimes the two of you may want to sit back, relax and just “chill!” Working together you really can make it happen!
Is your marriage growing?
Is your marriage all that you want it to be? Are you growing closer together or farther apart? Have you settled for mediocrity? When the two of you married was it not because you wanted to build a great relationship together? Life is precious you don’t want to waste it being unhappy all the time. If you have gotten off track get back on board!
Don’t let people, places, situations or things rob you of the happiness that brought you together.
Marriage affords you the opportunity to get to know your spouse on a much deeper level. As you spend more time together you can become sensitive or insensitive to one another’s desires, wants and needs. It’s your choice? Think about it, you both can determine together what type of harmonious home environment you want to create. Or one or the other can simply dominate your household and make it miserable for one another?
Good marriages don’t just happen!
There is always room for improvement. Good marriages don’t just happen! Having a home that welcomes peace is relaxing and inviting. It also keeps you both much healthier. Having a peaceful abode does not mean that you have to compromise your values. It does mean that you must deal with situations as they arise rather that allow them to ferment and fester. In other words, please do not sweep things under the rug. Whenever there is appropriate acknowledge that there is a problem, you should be able to talk about anything to one another. Afterall you are one. SO, you again want to be open, and whenever necessary discuss the things that concern one another. You must care enough to learn how to patiently listen to one another.
A good marriage takes two strong people. You both should be able to stand on your principles. This does not mean that you need to stand one against the other or compromise your values. Hopefully you share the same principles. (If not, there really are some things that need to be addressed.) You both should commit to stand firm for what is best for your marriage because you value your relationship. This can be a bit difficult and or uncomfortable. When you disagree, you want to keep respect intact.
Having good communication in your marriage is important.
No, you really don’t always have to have an outright brawl… If this has been a pattern in your life you might want to learn how to grow beyond this type of unhealthy mode of functioning. How you treat one another always matters. If you are subject to angry outburst. You need to learn how to get this under control. You can simply table deep discussions for a later agreed time when you both have had a little time to think things over and can be reasonable. This way you can begin to more responsibly deal with any issues. Confronting issues is not always easy but necessary. Don’t let the weeds of hostility, bitterness and anger begin to sneak in to ravage and unravel your marriage. Keep in mind building a good marriage requires learning how to become considerate of one another’s feelings and emotions. By the way, neither of you should have to frequently walk on eggshells.
Building intimacy makes way for a healthier marriage
Time is precious so you do not want to spend the majority of it unhappy, mad, stressed or living on pins and needles. When either one of you has to walk around on eggshells it is not good! You want to learn how to become transparent with one another. This is how you create a healthy bond. You allow one another to see the “real you!” Feelings need to be validated but you can learn to talk about unpleasant issues in a healthier manner. Or feel free to be quiet when necessary. Or just give one another mental space to refuel. Afterall, you do so at work, or you would not be able to keep your job. Well, how important is your marriage? Good communication and respecting one another is also what builds intimacy and welcomes trust.
Marriage is the ultimate partnership for a man and a woman to experience true “Oneness” in every way. In a safe marriage your lovemaking is also enhanced because you can become transparent, open and responsive. This is also a time of peaceful, healthy physical bonding. “The two becoming one!” The desire for peace in your marriage is an attainable realistic goal. When both husband and wife work together as a team to make their marriage a priority they can accomplish much.
Invite God into the center of your marriage and I assure you your marriage will flourish. After all you included Him in your vows, or did you? Peace is a part of the Fruit of the Spirit. Embracing your marriage vows helps immensely to welcome His peace. God can give you, “His peace that surpasses the understanding of man.” Philippians 4. Your vows will then become much more than mere words and your commitment to one another continuously grows and is refreshed.
Marriage is sacred in the eyes of God. Never intrude upon or disrespect the privacy of someone’s marriage.
In building a healthy marriage together as a team you consciously elect to go through the tests and trials of life together. If and whenever necessary, you seek wise godly counsel. Instead of situations or issues pulling you apart you face them together. You can also counsel one another to keep your marriage in tune. This will eventually result in you both becoming more confident in your marriage. You both take responsibility in keeping love alive. This brings about harmony. Your countenance will even begin to reflect satisfaction and inner fulfillment. Together you strive to empower one another to become the best you!
The benefits of embracing Fruit of the Spirit are apparent. Your love and joy will grow and flourish. You as a couple can also inspire others to respect and cherish their marriages as well. Your marriage is what you make it. You both being on one accord realize that life is a precious journey filled with highs and lows. You want to be “partners in love” on this forever journey. Your ever-increasing commitment to one another is a top priority and you welcome peace. Peace yields harmony and harmony yields togetherness.
