SEXUAL Problems For Christians Part 2

Part 2

Is A Great Marriage Still Viable?

The answer is YES!!!

Today some have opted out of the marriage. Their spouse has not been faithful and or has not or will not repent. Divorce is also sought because both or one spouse was not honest when they married. It is not their intention to work together for a mutually satisfying marriage. Sad put true some marry to get what they can get and leave. Quite often they want what they want when they want it. Their first priority is what they want rather than what is best for the marriage. This can leave the injured spouse in a state of flux. He or she will often overcompensate by continually giving into to their endless wants even to the point of financial despair. This should not be!

 

What about the children?

Parental disharmony also causes additional conflict within the children. They pick up the vibe between their parents. The children wants become excessive to compensate for their void. Some children will begin to lie and sometime emotionally withdraw. Unconsciously they feel that their well being is a secondary priority. Children usually prefer that their parents stay together. They too begin to act out. The parent who is most concerned must or should then take responsibility and address the needs of the children. Since you are hurting, this is not easy but necessary. It important to instill within your children healthy boundaries.

 

 

All too often one or both parents will often over indulge the child or children. They begin to compete for the child’s attention. Rather than discipline they will allow the child to become an extension of them. The child then becomes their support. Children vary in their ability to mature. Some are more resilient than others. Children should not be encouraged to become companions for their parents. Nor should they be ignored. They should always be nurtured in a healthy way that further establishes the parent child relationship. 

 

 

You have a responsibility to your children. 

 

 

As they get older the children will begin to better understand. Their parents were not able to resolve their conflict which resulted in divorce. Right now in this 21st century we have a generation of children that are confused about “Marriage God’s Way” more so than ever before! Although it did not work for you the first, second or even third time; it is important to let them know that God has ordained marriage as the proper relationship for sex. Let them know there is  still hope for them for a successful marriage.

 

 

Our current and future generations of teenagers have fewer and fewer positive moral traditional role models. Too many fractured marriages and families. This also can cause some of them to question their own sexuality.  They wonder if marriage is still even viable? They are all to often seduced to seek alternative ways to satisfy their sometimes overwhelming desire to appease raging hormones… They are often pulled into experimenting with same sex relationships with their peers. Keep the lines of communication open with your children.  There are some who wait in the wings to support alternative lifestyles…  This can cause them to become confused sexually or possibly even have a tendency towards bi sexual or promiscuity? This does not have to be! 

 

 

As a believer you have a responsibility to explain to them what God says about marriage.  If you don’t the world is waiting to teach them otherwise. 

 

 

Freely share with them what God says about sex in a non threatening way. Keeping in mind you are not trying to incite rebellion. You want them to learn self-control. You want them to realize that there are consequences for our actions. God allows us the freedom to choose. Love is patient so if you are over anxious take some time and chill out. Exercise patience when you are talking to your children.  You more than anyone should be willing to model good behavior to them. 

 

 

You  can help prevent them from getting out of control. You can  lessen the frequency of this occurring by teaching them the importance of respecting their own bodies.   Yes, there is always an exception to the rule. Raising children  properly takes a lot of patience, time and sacrifice. If you  have  not done this get busy now. Letting them know that they are valuable and they have the right to say “NO” to anyone. But most important that they can honor God in their body and its never too late to start!

 

Yes! A favorable future marriage is still viable…

There is much spiritual warfare that attempts to draw our teens away from God’s natural design for sex. This is a vulnerable stage of life for them. Peer pressure is already a constant factor in their lives… How their bodies are beginning to develop is a concern as well. Many of them will not say how they really feel. They will tell you what they think you want to hear. They often will seek unwise advice. Therefore they can be easily led down an ambivalent primrose path that further adds to this already complicated period of growth and development! Instead abstinence and discipline should be encouraged!

 

Let them know that God is Omnipresent!

Think about this for a moment. Did you know that if no one practiced sex outside of marriage there would be no one to cheat with? Fewer broken homes! Fewer STD’S! Fewer Abortions! Fewer marriages ending in divorces where people are unable to reconcile their differences. In this day and age it is hard to  hard to imagine! God has given us His Word to protect us! He has even told us that there is “no temptation common to man that He has not prepared a way of escape.”

 

A committed married monogamous relationship is the only way that God honors a sexual relationship! He has provided and ordained marriage. You see God has designed marriage as the only proper way a man and woman can fulfill their natural sexual desires. He is not the designer of any other method. If you have been taught or thought otherwise you are being  fooled. I don’t care what Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, Friend, Doctor, Minister, Pastor. Bishop, Apostle or Foe has said there are consequences! You see it is time out for living in the dark. Especially if you have confessed to be a Christian! It is time to stand up and speak out for what God has said is right.

 

 

We must speak the TRUTH in LOVE! Many are so confused about what LOVE really means. They often misunderstand you when you try to LOVE them for real! Loving someone is NOT making them feel comfortable in sin. Nor is it forcing yourself into their personal space.  Pray for discernment.  Part of LOVE is correction with patience. Sometimes we have to simply “step back.” But always PRAY! This is why we ALL so need the LORD! “GOD IS LOVE!” God is always available to help us properly express HIS LOVE!

 

 

Sharing the WORD of GOD IS LOVING PEOPLE! So don’t water it down. Even if they don’t like it.  God is quite clear about proper and improper sex! Try reading Roman 1 for starters. Let them take up any objections with the Lord. At some point if they are really seeking TRUTH they will at some point understand.  They will eventually see it is because you LOVE them you want them to know what God says. 

 

 

True ministry is speaking forth and living out loud the Word of God. 

 

 

Let’s really  HELP this next generation; these teenagers of this 21st century “where anything goes.” Start by giving them better moral role models! Let’s open up the lines of communication so they can validate their feelings.  They can learn to shift through their feelings and make better choices.   Make yourself available to your children. Give them a phone and tell them “to call you anytime they NEED you” HELP them so they do not feel that they have to give parts of themselves away in order to be accepted. If necessary also tell them to REPENT!  Let them know that they have the right to say NO to anyone who tries to take advantage of them. Give them more safe  “hugs” & quick kisses on their foreheads. (some of them feel too big for kisses) 

 

Give them respect and teach them how to be respectable and to demand respect as well. Remember they watch what we say and do.  Make a commitment to be loyal and faithful in your own marriage. Give them better examples and less criticism and more compassion and understanding.  Don’t encourage them to be sensual.  Lovingly  tell them when and if they are wrong. But be willing to admit when you are wrong as well. Less bickering and fighting and more constructive ways to resolve conflict such as powerful, loving biblical instructions.  Just think if it is hard for adults, it is even harder for teenagers… Lead them by example. 

SEXUAL Problems For The Christians Part 3

The “DOWN-LOW ” Going on in the CHURCH! ~

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I must preface this by saying that the “Down-Low” is a rather controversial “taboo” subject. You may be offended by the contents before you. In general, this is preferably for adults only? It may ruffle your feathers a bit? However, I do think that having an open conversation with your mature teens should be a priority considered at your discretion… You might be quite surprised by their reactions? This helps to protect them from acquiring felonious information in regard to the “Down-Low” from an outside source as well as keeps the lines of communication open. They may know more than you think? If you are sensitive to the topic of sex; read no further!

The Bible has a lot to say about sex.  It talks about what is proper and it also talks about what is unacceptable as well as what is an abomination to GOD.   It is always my intention to encourage What God has to say from a Biblical spiritual perspective.

 

What is the “Down-Low”?

 

The “Down-Low” is a discreet sexual encounter between a so called straight married man as well as unmarried men who have sexual relationships with other men. They often have sex with their friends and other men without telling their spouse or partner! This happens within many races and cultures on every social economic level.  Often random one-night stands take place… Many who are professed Christians partake in this as well. This should not be. What is so very sad about this is absolutely nothing is hidden from GOD!  The fact that it is kept secret should tell you something. It is actually really another form of perverted homosexuality.

 

In this 21st century it becomes increasingly clear to me why God designed marriage in the way in which He did. One Man and one Woman for life is God’s design for marriage. Marriage is a sacred “Covenant Agreement” between one man, one woman and GOD!  He has not changed His design. His design for sex within marriage was to give us healthy sexual boundaries.  This keeps us free from STD’s, Herpes, HIV and AIDS!

 

The “Down-Low” is no doubt a homosexual act…  According to the Word of God homosexuality goes against one’s natural nature. God did not ever intend for a man’s anatomical exit to be an entrance point.  Intercourse in this manner is considered an indecent act. This is still in your Bible if you have not torn it out!

 

“Therefore, God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchange the TRUTH of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator- who is forever praised. AMEN! Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged the natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.” Romans 1.

 

If you beg to differ. Take it up with GOD!

 

I believe all of God’s Word. Do as you please but nowhere in the Word does God condone any form of homosexuality, adultery, fornication or any sex outside of marriage. They are all sexual sins.  Is Deliverance possible; Yes! God is able! He did tell  the woman caught in adultery;  “To go and sin no more!” That mean to not continue to practice sin.

 

I realize that these may be chosen lifestyles for many? You can choose as you please… But it does not make it right in the eyes of God regardless of who says so.  Sex outside of marriage  does not have God’s blessings! We; meaning believers are supposed to be “in the world but not of the world.” John 17. World; meaning cosmos the devil is the ruler of the cosmos. We are physically present in this world, but we are children of the kingdom of God. We are children of the LIGHT! We are supposed to daily walk in the Light.  We are sanctified by believing and implementing the Truth of God’s Word within our lives.  We are not to practice walking in darkness. GOD SAYS; “Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven…”

 

The enemy seeks to have you step outside of the Word of God! The Word of God always points us in God’s direction. It is a Light unto our path. It shines the Light on darkness and can point us back to the right path as well. We are to be “Narrow Road” travelers. This is why we all need Jesus as Savior and Lord to save us from the power and clutches of sin reigning within our lives!

 

I have counseled with some who have been ensnared into lifestyles of alternative sexual relationships. I have seen the aftermath of what it does to the soul, the person, spouse and family… In many cases it creates and ongoing cycle of distrust, rejection, selfishness and secretiveness that causes much ambivalence, despair, insecurity, resentment and anxiety for those involved.

 

Sexual misconduct should not be embraced, overlooked,  or excused especially so when you are called to  minister. To be a Minister means that you commit to preaching, teaching, proclaiming and living out the principles of God and encourage others to do so as well. We are supposed to present the TRUTH of GOD’S WORD regardless of what the world, the masses or anyone else says is okay.  Whenever you are experiencing extensive inner turmoil or conflict one must seek wise spiritual counsel and seek to resolve the issues that hinder you from confronting whatever the issue might be and reconciling yourself to the Lord.

 

The reason it is allowed to continue is no one wants to confront the offense. They seek to not address it but instead enable the participants. Leaving them on the “Broad Road” that leads to spiritual destruction. This is not loving them. It is sanctioning what GOD says; DON’T DO!

 

For an example a while back  Iyanla Vanzant on  one of her  “Fix my life” shows  presented an episode that depicts two different Ministers who have been involved in multiple secret homosexual affairs. They both preside over congregations. How can this be? The emotional turmoil and stress they are experiencing is candidly showcased. The consequences of this sinful  behavior choice has greatly impacted their  marital lives.  Both ministers have suffered as well  as their family life and the  congregations that they pastor.

 

Do you realize that this creates a cycle of sin?  Where many are being drawn in by a seducing ungodly spirit.   Some are aware but are paralyzed by a pseudo compassion.  This causes them to not want to have their spiritual eyes opened to see the harm that is being perpetuated.

 

The inner pain that both of these pastors are experiencing due to the shame and secret deception is quite evident.  Neither one cannot have inner peace apart from God. God is a compassionate caring and loving, but He does not condone or sanction any behavior that is contrary to His Word in anyone.  This is what His genuine Love is all about. Here lies the conflict. By what spirit are you ministering to God’s people or non-believers?  A seducing ungodly spirit of course. The call to ministry is not to adjust GOD’S WORD to make anyone feel comfortable in sin.  This is totally out of order!  God is clear;  Sin is what separates us from God.

 

When the man on the “Down-Low” is in ministry this can be devastating. This causes much conflict within the family as far as their belief system. For example; the woman may seek the comfort of another woman.  This goes against the Word of God.  You are also now out of the will of the Lord! This in turn leads to a confusing physical relationship that further complicates her life as well as further harm to the family.  This should not be.  A spiritual boundary is being crossed. This is the ultimate rejection so her self-esteem is at stake. She begins to question her own sexuality? To assuage her guilt she now also turns to drugs.

 

Denial big time is happening…

The various family members begin to act out rebelliously and justify turning to worldly living… In some cases, even becoming a lesbian, homosexual or bisexual…  This is not good or acceptable according to Biblical Standards.  Although it has become acceptable in the eyes of many in  the world… The children become confused as to what is right?  Now many children have been supported in questioning their gender? They begin to experiment and then can become promiscuous as they reach puberty… Which begins to perpetuate another vicious cycle of dysfunction?  What’s next? For now the world and its principles have  now entered and taken root within their home. The enemy has covertly shifted the entire focus of the family from God’s principles to his…  A stronghold has taken place.

 

It really boils down to spiritual warfare!!!

The Word of God is powerful and was given to help us navigate through this maze of life. We must proclaim the Truth of His Word and encourage others to draw closer to the Lord in these “Last Days. ” Rather than cosign behavior God does not sanction. Ministry is about encouraging others to learn to daily embrace God’s Way of living! Not making them comfortable in sin.  Making them feel comfortable enables them and leaves them without godly protection.

 

I know what it is like to be censored and oppressed for believing the Truth of God’s Word. But regardless of that I will STILL STAND upon the WORD OF GOD! We must stand on the Word of God. This is the requirement of the “CALL to Ministry!”

 

Many often compromise for fear of rejection or being thought of as judgmental. Or fear their congregation will fall off… However, by ignoring God’s Word they negate His principles.    Accountability to God is instead compromised for acceptance…  “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires. These men will divide you who follow mere instincts and do not have the Spirit. But you, dear friends, build yourself up in the most Holy Faith and PRAY in the SPIRIT.” Jude 1.

 

 

CONTEND FR THE FAITH!!!

 

When you see someone, drowning do you try to help them to keep drowning? The point is we are called believers for a reason. The world and its ways of manipulation have worked itself into God’s Church. I am not talking about the building! I mean the lives of many baptized believers. The world says, “do whatever you feel is right.” But The Word of God says “REPENT!” Which means to turn to God; not to continue to repeat the behavior? We are not to jump into the quicksand of life! “Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch them out from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear – hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.” Jude 1.

 

It is important not to compromise the Word of God even if it means being misunderstood.  You can or should deliver the Word in it’s proper context. It is much more important what God knows rather than what others think? Don’t give in to false doctrine that goes against what God says. We are supposed to influence the world not let it influence us! Spend time meditating on His Word; “Be still and know!”

 

It is so important that we personally know God’s Word for ourselves! We must develop and ongoing, growing intimate relationship with the Lord. This is about learning how to honor God with your bodies. In the Old Testament sacrifices were offered to God for the sins of the people. Now the world says do whatever feels right to you.”  Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice for the sins of the world. Now we are to offer our body as a sacrifice to the Lord. As we do this our lives are transformed, and our minds can be renewed daily by the Word of God. Do you believe God knows what is best for us?

 

“Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God –this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer by the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12.

 

One must seek to rise above any behavior that is not pleasing to the Lord. This closeted homosexuality, adulterous, bisexuality is sinfully dangerous from God’s perspective The “Down-Low” is one of those patterns of the world, and it is inappropriate!

 

I realize that the Church is divided on the subject of sex. No one wants to talk about sex really, or address the growing issues? Do we continue to just bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich? absolutely NOT!  Many go to worship, sing, pray, dance, shout, fellowship and then go back to in many instances a lifestyle that is contrary to what God says is acceptable!  This is not to target simply homosexuals or lesbians. But to shed  LIGHT on the reality of what God was about sexual relationships…  It is important to know that you are living out of the will of GOD!  Worship really becomes a temporary distraction or just another social activity when  this  is ignored? Think for a moment; what if Jesus were to return today or  tomorrow? God is aware of the Truth… “True worshippers must  “Worship HIM in SPIRIT and in TRUTH.”

 

The idea of worship is to honor the Lord is it not? Are we not to learn to worship Him with our lives daily?  Or just simply make everyone feel comfortable and have an emotional charge  so they will come back.

 

To be entertained rather than “Worship God!”

 

Should we not be concerned?  Look around and see what has happened. things have gotten out of control…  Concerned does not mean you make someone feel comfortable in sin. For it is a slow day by day  death in process.  Bringing it to the forefront;  means that you care enough that you want to do something about it to help them… Many do not realize that they are looking for love in all the wrong places. The enemy just uses sex to win a stronghold over your life! He always perverts and distorts what God made for physical expression within the confines of marriage!

 

How to confront wisely

If you know that your spouse is indulging in a sexual relationship outside of marriage; I suggest stepping back. If you suspect this is so, be careful how you confront your spouse. Set aside some time when you both can talk. It is important that you get yourself tested? Prepare yourself. Keep in mind he may not be ready to confront his behavior. He may be offended if he is a leader in the Church… This makes it just that much more important! Talk about your relationship and how you feel. Allow him to talk about how he is feeling.  Time to get dangerously  untrapped from this behavior!  Ask him about his current sexual relationship with you before you approach his suspected infidelities if you are not sure?

 

When you find out this is so? Know you cannot change him; he has to want to change. Many women marry men thinking that they are going to change them? It won’t happen! Only God can do this! “HE IS ABLE!” You can and should always strive to  model godly behavior.  Embrace prayer daily. Seek and Consult with a godly couple that will reflect and reinforce the principles of God. You can intercede and “pray without ceasing” fervently all throughout your day!  Know that this is his problem and you are not the cause. He needs deliverance! It is important that he seeks help and you both get godly counsel as to how you go forward?

REPENT!!!