Healing Begins In Your Heart and In Your Home Part 2

~ Healing Begins In Your Heart and In Your Home! ~

Part 2

STOP THE MADNESS

GOD really does have a better way.

Should children be corrected? Yes indeed! But think before your buttons are pushed like a remote control. Proper correction is always done in love. Learn to correct and control yourself before you try to correct them. If not don’t expect them to do any differently. For they will simply model your behavior. Do you treat them the way you want to be treated? Think about how You would feel if it were you, being treated the way you treat them… To break a cycle you must do something differently.

 

IF you don’t have self-control yourself; simply remove yourself momentarily from their presence unto you can discipline them properly. Afterall you are supposed to be the responsible adult.  Begin to set yourself and them free at the same time.  Admit you need to develop healthy boundaries. You become what you practice. Yes please do correct them and also correct yourself. REPENT!

 

LET’S STOP the VIOLENCE! Violence begats violence.  There is too much violence going on all throughout this world. Get BETTER, not bitter. Get real, this does not have to be. Many have lived wrong for so long this is all that they know. Get aware and make it a point to lessen the frequency of emotional, mental & physical, abuse and really EMBRACE LOVE!  Remember; LOVE IS PATIENT! Not the distorted worldly definition of love but GOD’S LOVE that corrects, protects, makes, awakens, shapes and molds us in HIS IMAGE! GOD’S LOVE allows the FRUIT of HIS SPIRIT to flourish and abound within us. GOD’S LOVE  lasts through ETERNITY!

 

FRUIT OF HIS SPIRIT

But the FRUIT of the SPIRIT IS LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS and SELF-CONTORL. Against such is NO LAW. Those who BELONG to CHRIST JESUS have CRUCIFIED the sinful nature with its passions and desires, Since WE LIVE BY THE SPIRIT, let us KEEP IN STEP WITH THE SPIRIT. Let us become NOT conceited, provoking and envying one another…”
GALATIANS 5

 

WORKS OF THE FLESH

“THE ACTS OF THE sinful nature are obvious sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealously, fits of rage, self-ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn You, as I did before, that those who live like this WILL NOT INHERIT the KINGDOM of GOD…”
GALATIANS 5

 

Live to Please the LORD in all that You do. DON’T just go to CHURCH. BE HIS CHURCH EVERYDAY…  Scripture is powerful. It is our necessary essential Spiritual Food. It is required in order to properly grow spiritually. “DO NOT CONFORM to this world! “Therefore, I urge You, brothers, in view of GOD’S mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, HOLY and pleasing to GOD ~ this is your spiritual act of worship. DO NOT CONFORM any longer to the pattern of this world, BUT BE TRANSFORMED by the RENEWING of your mind. Then you WILL BE ABLE to TEST & APPROVE what GOD’S WILL IS! HIS GOOD, PLEASING & PERFECT WILL.” ROMANS 12 (NIV) Be led by the Spirit of God!

God does not ask us to do something that is not possible. It is through HIM we are able to do what seems impossible to man. Whenever we solicit HIS HELP we should first desire that whatever we are asking for is in HIS WILL! God always knows what is best for us!

 

WALK IN THE LIGHT

It is very important to KNOW the difference between; THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT & The works of the flesh. To every problem GOD has a solution. We just need to seek HIS WILL & HIS WAY above the ways of man/woman. Look all around you and see with your spiritual eyes. Things have gotten out of hand. Think globally and look universally; See what is happening to families, marriages, relationships, governments, cities, nations, countries, life, within the Church and living life as a whole… 

No doubt the horrendous impact of the Coronavirus plague and pestiilence, is a resulting consequence of what has been going on all throughout the world. All have been impacted one way or another.  Time out for foolishness. Things have gone too far… The “Latter Days” are upon us. 

 

There is alwys HOPE in the LORD!

God is speaking we must get better at listening. Therefore, we ALL need CHRIST JESUS as our personal SAVIOR and LORD and HIS HOLY SPIRIT; HIS COMFORTER. HIS HOLY SPIRIT WILL LEAD US to ALL TRUTH! As we walk in TRUTH we allow the LORD to bring healing to our hearts, minds, bodies, souls as well as our homes… GOD IS THE GOD OF ALL COMFORTS! Begin to really TRUST GOD & HIS WORD and “WALK IN THE LIGHT!”

Healing Begins In Your Heart and In Your Home Part 3

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Moving To Higher Ground Part 1

 

What do you do when you know that you have earnestly and sincerely tried to help someone? When they have come to you to help them when nobody else would?  When you have gone out on faith and taken a risk to support them.  Well you now know that  they did not value keeping their commitment.  In turn you have been slandered, lied on, cheated, talked about and mistreated.  Well you have compassion for them. You realize they really do not “fear God.” 

 

When my helping is not helping. I’m not helping! 

This is in no way means helping by being a “busybody” in the affairs of others. Time is precious and it is “time out” for games. Not everyone believes in being responsible or keeping their commitments.  It is when you are approached with what appears to be sincerity you consider helping? This is  actually when you help someone who really wants to help themselves to you. Now it appears you were not responsible because things did not turn out as they hoped despite the minimal effort they put forth.  

 

It has been a bit disheartening to know what great lengths that others will go to and band together, just in order to discredit you.  But what they do not realize is they cannot discredit you in the eyes of God.  Somewhere down the road they will see that they missed the opportunity. What do you do?  You Praise God daily for His Omnsicience.   You now better understand what not to do.  And yes, praise be to God you become the wiser for it.  You go to “Higher Ground,” and give them and it to the Lord.

 

Plant Your Feet on Higher Ground

They will sink even lower to convince others of something that is simply not true. They will even dredge up false witnesses, really, all because you would not continue to succumb to their desires. Meaning you would not  allow them to use you. Your good intentions have now been undermined and misconstrued. What do you do? You certainly do not have a pity party.  In fact you  can be thankful because you have become wiser realizing that your discernment has been sharpened.  Now you plant your feet on “Higher Ground” and again, you simply take it to the Lord!

 

 

Jesus knows just how you feel. Despite everything they have done, did you know that you have really gained a lot?  It really does not matter how it makes you look a bit gullible. You know that the Lord knows better. Your faith and trust in Him has deepened and you are steadily moving towards “Higher Ground.”

 

 

The truth is; There are those who have an interesting perspective about what it means being Christians. I realize for some it means to attend worship, have an emotionally charged good time,  get involved in  all the activities going on, fellowship and hang out.   They can also perform very well and get their shout on.  And yes when they leave; “Church was Good!”  After all this is what has been taught to many…  But not really want to  make an effort to go deep into the Word and daily embrace the principles of GOD.   

 

 

 

Well, after all we are “Saved by Grace!”  So you really cannot expect them to want to really get to know the Lord on a personal level. 

 

 

I have learned it is wise to be very selective.  When you help others do not expect them to do the same for you.  When you are there for them the Lord knows. It is  the Lord that will bless you when you are sincere no matter how things  turns out.  Keep in mind  Christ Jesus is our Best Witness. Think about it?  By the wa,  where we all those people that Jesus helped when they were crying; “Crucify Him!”

 

The point is;

To some degree you must just grin and bear it. You must hold on to the fact that if the truth would really be told you know that they would not know how to tell it. There is a saying that “The truth can go all around the world. But a lie just has to walk across the street.” There is something so seductive about lies that some people will believe anything but the truth. But really they have been deceived. I am sure you have heard the old adage, “give them and inch and they will take a mile.” There is so much spiritual warfare on the horizon. You must learn to guard your heart. Stay alert at all times. Know the Lord’s Word for yourself so you will not be so easily swayed just by how things appear.

 

Learn to be content in the Lord

There is much contentment knowing God knows the Truth! God’s Word is so exhilarating! Remember what it also says about itching ears? It says; “For the time will come when Men/Women will not put up with sound doctrine, Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry…” Timothy 4:3-5. That time is now! Sometimes standing up for what is right means to simply sit down. 

 

Daily worship, thank  and Praise the Lord.  God wants us to live a life of praise. For everyday is a precious “GIFT” from Him.  ABBA FATHER,  “THANK YOU HALLLLELLLUJAH!!!”

 

When I read the writings of Paul I can identify with many of the things that he encountered. Paul was even bitten by a snake. Yet, Paul managed to remain faithful despite the things that were going on about Him. He knew that they distorted his every move. Yet he continued to live for the Lord. He was not looking for them to support Him he knew that the Lord did.

 

Be thankful you know God’s Word will not return void.  You do not have to force God’s Word upon anyone. 

 

Paul was persecuted for preaching the Gospel. Paul’s methods were unorthodox yet he was quite creative, steadfast and unmovable abounding in his work for the Lord. He is an excellent example of what to do when there is much chaos about you. One must learn to keep your focus upon the Lord. Learn to bridle your tongue in the process. James tells us that this will also bring about much discipline. Commence to steadily move towards ”Higher Ground.”  

 

We daily rise to serve; THE GREAT  I “AM”

 

We live in a Spiritual War Zone

We live in the 21st century where some of everything is going on. Yet, there is nothing new under the sun. Rest assured that the scriptures are being fulfilled. We are living in a Spiritual Warzone  In this technological advanced age you can literally go all over the world today without even leaving your seat.

 

You can virtually communicate with both Christians and non Christians, from a multiplicity of colors, and cultures within the various non denominations, denominations, and independents, all over the world. God is so awesome! He truly is Omnipresent! He has given us so many examples of who He is and what He is all about. “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it..”

 

God does not change! His principles remain the same. You can invite Jesus into your heart wherever you are! Do you know that you can only come to the Lord unless He draws you anyway? “Jesus is the way the Truth and the life.” He really does set you free! Free to daily live for Him. Just know that there will always be those who will throw rocks and hide their hands. But don’t worry you know who made the hands. Nothing gets by God.

 

Traditional Rudimentary Disciplines and Doctrines.

As each day passes I realize that I have somewhat become disenchanted with some of the “stuff on the Church scene.” I have also come across many who share my sentiments. There is no question whether they love the Lord! Dedicated without question to God & ministry. But simply have opted out, not to get involved in the man/woman induced messiness. Although, I have submitted somewhat to its timely ordinances, traditional rudimentary disciplines and doctrines, I have gradually weaned away from its constraints that quench my spirit. I openly admit that at times  I have over the years gradually learned to comfortably sometimes take somewhat of a back seat position on occassions within the arena. But live life daily growing in God’s marvelous Grace.

 

Coliseum in Rome

I can thankfully and vividly recall what it felt like actually standing with my husband/Pastor and our group in the Coliseum in Rome Italy where they physically killed the Christians for sport. That memory is forever etched in my soul. (Here they simply try and murder you with their tongue.)  But the great thing about the Lord it does not work in the spiritual arena.  God knows  For this  I thank & praise God;  I fear no Man/Woman.  Hallelujah anyhow! 

 

When it comes to the expected systematic functions from a birds eye view at times I do take a back seat.  But from a shore line perspective I have launched into deep waters, knowing that my deeply planted roots in His Word will sustain me till I see the Lord face to face…

 

True Ministry is never for show or to entertain others.  It is to be used by the Lord as His willing vessel.  I know that I can praise Him, preach, teach, proclaim and live out loud the Gospel  anywhere at anytime.   It is God I/we daily live to please. I cannot fully express in words my thankfulness to the Lord for all that He has done and has allowed us to see, do and experience.  I know God will never forsake us. I am eternally grateful for His omnipresence wherever we are or go.   I know that “the earth is His and the fullness thereof…” It is so important to know the Word of God for yourself. On a personal level, I find my love for the Lord’s abiding presence in my daily life is ever increasing.

See part 2

 


 

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Co-dependency

December 26, 2009 by  
Filed under Family

Co-dependency

What is happening to our Christian families? Codependency has become a major dysfunction. Families are experiencing a famine in the area of healthy nurturing. Let’s begin to break generational cycles of codependency. Why is this necessary? A person who is co-dependent is trapped in a compulsive cycle of control. They are usually over achievers who are virtually motivated by their desire to be loved. They often have been subject to major rejection in their early childhood. In order to feel a sense of security they will over extend themselves in many activities in order to gain the approval of others. It is very difficult for a co-dependent to deal with someone who they can not control. They will often even appear submissive in order to gain control of someone. This behavior is really manipulation in order to dominate. The boundaries of a co-dependent are usually blurred. The hurts of childhood abandonment and rejection fuel their need to control. They have a great need as well to be the center of attention. Unable to let go of the past they really feel empty and unloved. They are high maintenance people. Their constant need of approval is countered by resentment when not satisfied since they suffer from low self-esteem. As I have said before and will say again and again ” your true security and significance can only be found in God”.

For the co-dependent it is necessary to realize that God is really not a respecter of persons. We are equal yet different as His children. Although scripture tells us “it is not by works that we are saved” a codependent can be manipulated into many activities. This is fueled by their need of approval. This often causes them to develop a surface relationship with God. Their busyness leaves little time to “be still” and find the freedom and rest only God can provide. Contrary to popular belief you are not required by God to participate in most man ordained auxiliaries especially at the expense of neglecting your family. Pastors as well as Christian workers who suffer from co-dependency must be careful not to be pre-occupied at the expense of not having some time for their own families. Your works should display your faith not someone else’s. Creating healthy boundaries are necessary. Spend some time developing your personal intimate relationship with God. Begin to implement His principles in your life. Grace and peace is multiplied when you increase your knowledge of GOD!

Consciously allow what God desires and requires of you to override your need to control and/ or gain the approval of others. Don’t be a people pleaser! God is not impressed by manipulation. Always examine your motives in the light of His WORD. Take charge by letting go, which is the opposite of controlling. Remember scripture says it is “the meek that will inherit the earth.” Meekness is not weakness it is power under control. Cycles are hard to break but with God even the impossible is possible.

The family system of a co-dependent usually has a powerful effect on their behavior dynamics. Often there is a scapegoat, a martyr and a hero in the co-dependent family. The scapegoat gives everyone something to focus on rather than deal with the real problem. The martyr sacrifices for everyone and feels sorry for themselves. The hero makes the family look good to outsiders. A multigenerational pattern of faulty unhealthy dynamics can appear as normal. Do you notice any generational patterns? Unconsciously the family will fight to keep these dynamics operating. All families have an element of dysfunction. Destructive family dynamics have been in operation since the beginning of time. The story of Joseph tells how his Dad favored him over his brothers. Joseph’s father gave him a beautiful coat. This caused so much jealously that they designed a plan to destroy Joseph. His brothers called him a dreamer. Little did they know that the Lord had His hand on Joseph. God being in control worked this to good although their plans were evil. In the final analysis Joseph became the chief provider for his family as well as country. Eli was a priest. Although a servant of the Lord he had two sons who were outwardly rebellious. They disrespected not only the offerings but the people of God as well. I wonder how much time Eli spent nurturing his own sons?

Family secrets such as mental illness, incest, abuse and alcohol or drug addictions often go unaddressed in the co-dependent family. Denial becomes a survival dynamic for the family. This fosters an unhealthy physical as well as spiritual environment. Family secrets are often described as though one has a white elephant in the living room. Everyone just walks around it as though it doesn’t exist. Or they just avoid it altogether. Thinking it will just go away. It won’t! Christians need to take a stand and move to a higher level of functioning. We must learn to address the sin issues in our families and not continue to make excuses. God has promised to direct our paths when we put our trust in Him. We must learn to responsibly take responsibility.

God in His omniscience is well aware of the shortcomings of all of us. We must look at the unhealthy dynamics in our family of origin and consciously find ways to abandon the generational cycles. Don’t continue to sweep things under the rug. Learn to confront issues as they arise. It’s never to late! Start by not supporting or reinforcing any unfavorable behavior. The truth must be faced to break free and enjoy the present.

Sometimes it is necessary to pursue professional assistance to resolve family conflict. A conscientious therapist should be well informed about inappropriate behavior. They objectively are able to recognize that the faulty behavior presented is really a mask for an underlying unmet need. The co-dependent needs to find a positive channel to release inner tensions. A family intervention is useful in most situations. Then proceeding to establishing a way in which their unmet needs can be satisfied is recommended.

In a Therapy environment a healthy atmosphere is crucial. The equal safety of the client and the safety of the therapist should always be a priority. A committed Christian therapist knows the importance of establishing healthy boundaries. A congruent environment implies that the therapist is trustworthy, genuine, integrated, and openly honest. There are many cultural differences that can inhibit a fluent understanding of the client. Stereotype thinking must be abandoned. Each client must be viewed as an individual. Labeling often changes peoples perceptions of others. There is a substantial diversity among any given group of people.

Christian therapy although not new is often unwelcomed from anyone other than the pastor in some instances. Many pastors who may be well-versed in scripture may not be equipped in some areas of counseling. Many on the other hand or overwhelmed by their ministerial duties. There are some pastors who should not counsel. The sincere efforts of a Christian therapist although well meaning may be often misconstrued as out of line and unwelcomed.

The use of small cell groups can often be quite therapeutic and beneficial for the co-dependent as well as for managing other interpersonal problems. A conscientious facilitator will maintain order and model control. Confidentiality and free expression should be encouraged. Conflict arises when individuals become resistant to someone’s insight or opinions that have been communicated. Uncontrolled anger is not welcomed in a cell group. Establish boundaries. Keep the group spiritually based. Making use of regular Bible study and prayer are key elements for success.

Emerging from codependency is painful. The compulsion to rescue dependent people is really a form of bondage.God never intended for any of us to be slaves to sin. Self-control is a fruit of His Spirit. His resources are unlimited. The co-dependent person first must acknowledge their compulsion to control. They must work towards redirecting their inclination towards other control to self-control. To seek healthy ways to have their unmet needs fulfilled. To process dispelling dysfunctional cycles this is a must. Don’t allow pride to hinder your progress. It is an obstacle to your well-being. God also hates pride it is an abomination to Him. Confess any known sin and press forward. It takes courage and a lot of hard work. It is in our weakness that we can become strong through God’s awesome power. God has left the Comforter which is His Holy Spirit to lead teach and direct you. Never forget God loves you! Take control by taking control of yourself. The truth really will set you free!




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